My new headcanon is that Karens become Susans in Hell.

I hope they hate each other forever ❤️

To celebrate Valentine’s Day have a comic of Alastor being a bitter ex wife.

Alastor sitting down with Lucifer he comes out to him as an asexual. he explains that it’s not Luci personally, it’s just that sex never felt “right” to him and that he lost other relationships due to this. he’s fearing that Lucifer will be the next one to leave him but then he feels Lucifer ‘s hand on his cheek

“Thank you…for telling me this” Luci says

Lucifer goes on to tell him that he just loves that he has someone in his life that can endure his goofiness and want to spend time with him! Whether it’s going to the zoo or just sitting on a bench in the park, he’s just happy that he’s with Alastor!

Alastor, wiping away the tears from his eyes, adds that he’s ok with kissing, which he then plants one on Lucifer. Lucifer blushes then smiles 🥹🥰

father in law still loves u maggie

radioapple where every time Alastor pisses off Lucifer he just presents him with a new rubber duck to distract his rage.

"I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU WOULD BE SO STUPID-"

*Alastor silently holds out a ringmaster-themed duck*

"OH my god!!! It's so cute!!! Hi little ducky! I'm gonna name you Fritzy! Yes I am~ Yes I am!" *kisses duck head*

That's how the episode went, right?

Lucifer throws rubber ducks at Alastor to shut him up.

It actually worked for the first few times too, because it was so random that it caught him off guard, as very few things do. With his large collection and how very few of his creations he was actually proud of, Lucifer had a lot of ammunition. He wasn’t about to embarrass himself by scrambling to get them back afterwards, but he did wonder what happened to them. Incinerated, he would guess.

But no, Alastor likes entertainment, and after he got over the fact the literal King of Hell’s best line of defense was rubber ducks, he was very entertained by the little things. There was a growing collection in his radio tower, and he had learned quickly that there was more to them than met the eye. He’d been quite displeased when one had left his coat singed from spitting fire, but despite all their tricks, none were particularly harmful.

Alastor hadn’t been sure where these ducks were coming from, but after plucking one off the floor that had a remarkable resemblance to the Radio Demon himself, he was beginning to suspect they weren’t exactly off the shelf. And wasn’t that a thought, the devil himself spending hours meticulously crafting toys. Even more so interesting that he spent some of that time making one of a demon he hated so much. But he keeps them all the same.

Chucking them at Alastor’s head becomes a whole lot less effective at getting him to shut the fuck up after a while. That didn’t stop Lucifer from wanting to throw things at him, and it wasn’t destructive to the hotel in the process. Probably not a bad thing, to be clearing out his room of so many ducks. And if a certain gothic tower is now full of them instead, well… who’s to say.

*quack quack* I’m losing my mind, can you tell

Say what you will about radioapple / appleradio, but I will always be entertained by the idea of Lucifer angrily doing acts of kindness for Alastor because it’s what Charlie would want.

My favorite thing I’ve seen people write about is Lucifer being able to recognize the wound he got from Adam based on the angelic energy alone and knowing it’s not healing properly and pretty must just

“I hate your guts but Charlie would be upset if she thought you dropped dead again so I’m going to heal you and you’re gonna fucking like it.”

“I’m completely fine. I don’t need help from you.” is actively bleeding out

“Let me heal you, you stupid bambi—”

Just two idiots

I keep thinking a lot about Alastor’s wound from an angelic weapon… that’s not meant to heal on its own, and Lucifer knows it. Those things are meant to be fatal, and it’s by some unholy miracle that the Radio Demon is still standing and pretending that nothing was wrong. But of course, Lucifer knows. It’s hard to ignore when he reeks so strongly of angelic energy.

He swears to himself that any act of kindness he shows Alastor is to spare Charlie, but he’s noticed that most of the hotel’s residence seems to have a growing fondness for him, aside from maybe Husker. So perhaps it’s to spare them all the worry that he ignores yet another pointed comment on his height to instead call out the injury.

Alastor denies it. Not that he thinks he could convince the devil himself otherwise, but it was always fun to get under his skin, be as frustrating as possible. He insists he’s perfectly fine, that looking for his weaknesses would be a bad look on Lucifer if Charlie found out. As much as he hates his daughter being used against him, Lucifer reminds himself that he’s doing this for her to begin with.

Alastor doesn’t move when he steps closer, though, baring his teeth with his signature smile as his eyes narrowed in warning. Lucifer cocks his head to the side, eyes glossing over with a golden glow as he feels the remnants of a holy injury, how wide it stretched across his torso and how deep of a laceration. If it wasn’t so infuriating that Alastor thought himself better by just pretending to be uninjured, lying to the very girl that welcomed him in with open arms, it might’ve been impressive how long he stood in his current state.

When Lucifer reaches out, sharp claws wrap around his wrist in a warning, not yet breaking skin or pushing him away. Lucifer just stared back at the Radio Demon, knowing that no civil words would be said if either of them opened their mouths. They were both stubborn. Eventually, Alastor’s grip slackens and the King’s hand pushes closer until it’s pressed flat against his chest. Though bandage and cloth remained between, a light started to shimmer, seeping out of the sinner and into the fingertips of Lucifer, where it dispersed into his natural glow. Any further mending went unseen, but a well-masked tension seemed to have left Alastor soon enough.

Upon pulling away, there was an unspoken agreement that they weren’t to discuss what had happened here. Alastor having a moment of weakness and Lucifer showing mercy upon him were not narratives they wished to spread. If Alastor became just a tad less bitter in each conversation he shared with Lucifer after that, it could easily be blamed on the fact he was no longer bleeding out, rather than any genuine appreciation he might’ve had for him.

i love aro/ace alastor in a relationship with lucifer so much ‼️‼️

alastor who isn't attracted to people per se still able to appreciate how good looking lucifer is and being smug at having landed one of the most handsome angels - because he's a man who appreciates the finer things in life and it's nice having exclusive rights to something other people desire.

alastor missing lucifer when he isn't around - realizing he wants to *keep* lucifer around and feeling possessive of lucifer's time and energy when none of it is directed towards him.

alastor having someone who doesn't mind that he's never in the mood. someone who's fun in bed that he can taunt and fluster while still letting his guard down. someone who's going to take those taunts goodnaturedly while still holding his own - someone who can punch back just enough to get alastor's adrenaline spiking without fully bringing up his defenses. someone who enjoys having to work at it to get him off and seems to enjoy the challenge and satisfaction of managing it almost as much as sex.

alastor having someone who's as self-involved and isolating and self-righteous as he is - but helpful in their own self-absorbed way. who needs a project to occupy themselves and has the same basic priorities, like protecting the small circle of people they care about.

alastor having someone who doesn't mind when one minute alastor wants to be the center of his world and can't get enough attention - then the next, doesn't want a single inch of part of their bodies touching and can't seem to stand being around anyone including lucifer, but would begdudgingly relents and end up on the couch with lucifer stretched out on top of him when he seems to need the company. because lucifer's his and he takes care of what's his.

lucifer @ alastor

+ Bonus doodle ehe

As an aroace musician I wanna say that I 100% approve of Alastor bursting into song with all of his rivals.

Is he flirting?? Is he playing hard to get?? Or is he such a theatre kid that this is the only way he can really express his feelings that still lowkey give off homoerotic vibes?? because same my guy same

Vox gives off ‘divorced and still holding a grudge that’s possibly a flame??’ And Lucifer is ‘fighting over custody with this guy that came into my daughters life and oh no he’s kinda hot’

Hazbin Hotel has given me a new ship. Ok hear me out. RadioApple or Alastor/Lucifer. If you bear with me I think I can even make this work within a canon context. Alastor in ep 7 was told he’s an ace in the hole (tho he had no idea what she meant) but Rosie which is the audience clue to him being asexual but that’s also a spectrum.

I think Alastor lacks interest in sex and love and relationships because he is a complex psychopath. He very much gives me Hannibal Lecter vibes. In particular NBC’s Hannibal Lecter. He sees everyone as beneath him. Pawns, food, or both. How could he ever feel something for others when he has no equal. People are just means to an end for him. A tool to aid him in gaining more power. He understands putting up a facade. But underneath is something much more sinister.

Now. Lucifer. Lucifer has the potential to be his equal in Alastor’s eyes. Lucifer has the power that Alastor wants. The freedom Alastor wants. That’s also why I think he provokes Lucifer so much as well, because Lucifer has all those things but he’s wasting it in Alastor’s eyes. But we (not Alastor unfortunately) see in episode 8 just how powerful Lucifer can be. If that was the Lucifer Alastor saw I think he could see him as an equal. Or it could lead to that path. Give it another season maybe.

And like Hannibal with Will develop feelings for Lucifer. Well as much as a complex psychopath cannibal turned demon could anyway. If all we have in canon is an offhand comment by a friend of Alastor, I think it’s fair to theorize he could be demisexual. And if he found someone who he could see as his equal, much like Hannibal did, he could have a kind of romantic (loving to the best of his ability) and possibly even sexual relationship.

(Tho it’s fiction, if people wanna still ship him with people and draw fanart, write fanfic, have all the headcanons, regardless of canon I think that’s totally fine as that’s what people do with fictional characters. Most ships I see don’t follow canon anyway. And the canon will always be there.)

I really love these two as a ship. Such enemies to lovers vibes. And the way they provoke each other is gold. I love that Alastor the only one who wasn’t Adam to have no fear or admiration of Lucifer. Also because he’s a cannibal I’m very amused by how much RadioApple shippers have decided Alastor bites.

I'll make you wish that I stayed gone...

Tune on in...

When I'm done....

You're status quo will know its race is run...

Oh this will be fun..