Some time ago I read a quote that said: "someone who over thinks is also someone who over loves." And on that day the only thing I knew was that I am one of the biggest over thinker, but I didn't know if I am also someone who ever loves, because I never experienced true love. I spend some time thinking about this quote and on that day I thought that this may be true but I couldn't imagine myself being someone who over loves, because I would never allow myself to get to the point in my life where I would "over love" someone. The thing that scared the most out of me was the fact that I never wanted to depend on anyone and when you over love you do depend one that person and that's something I never ever wanted.

Time passed by.. a lot of things have happened in my life. A lot of things have chanced. And accidentally I read that quote again. Just reading that quote felt completely different. As I thought about it for the second time I eminently knew that this quote was a 100% correct. I am someone who over loves. Depending on that person still scares me. It's not normal for me, because I always had a "line" I've never (rarely) crossed for anyone, because I knew that if I did, my mood and everything else would probably depend on that person and how that person treats me. That's the problem with sensitive people. If I would let everyone get too close to me, my mood would go all over the place, because I am too sensitive. Depending on someone is scary, but when you truly love someone you will take the "risk".

I hate being this sensitive.

I love him with all my heart and thinking how it would be if he would leave me is sooooooooooooo painful. Why am I doing this to myself?

How can you expect someone to understand your mind, when you don't even understand yourself?!?

This is so me right now

I don't know what is wrong with me but lately I haven't been myself. Why am I always hurting myself by my own thoughts. WHY am I like this? I thought that maybe the situation I've been dealing with was the reason for my negative thoughts and that just because of this situation everything got negative in my eyes, but somehow that situation got better and better and I still find myself trapped in those negative thoughts. It's like I can't get out of this. I'm trying to better myself. Every day. But it's not easy.

Crying because I destroye my mind just by overthinking. I hate myself

Trying to sleep while listening to lofi music is impossible. You can't stop overthinking.💭

02:11

Sometimes as I'm laying in my bad all I can think about is how no one will ever know the "real" me. It's like yeah you do know me, but you don't know how much I think about this and that, you don't know how much I'm scared about some thinks. I could try to explain to someone how much I am scared about life and living in general, but no one would understand, because no one feels the same way as I do. There are people who are very important to me and I want them to know the "real" me, but it's just hard to explain and I don't want to feel misunderstood. Maybe that's the reason why I don't like to talk about myself. Everytime I tried to talk about myself and tried to explain something to someone, they either thought it was funny and laughed or didn't understand. After that I eminently feel stupid, and I am like: I'm so sorry I bothered you this will never happen again.