I am not allowed in the kitchen unsupervised

I can’t stand people like this. It’s not a flex.

idk who needs to hear this rn but suffering is not noble. take the tylenol

Tumblr staff: ten options is enough for polls, right? No one needs more than that on a regular basis. The average tumblr user: Hey guys which element of the periodic table do you think is the most fuckable?

Prince judges me a lot

Due to the Unfortunate!

We are deeply out of Onions!

i love when they draw a carrot on top of the carrot cake just to remind you this aint no ordinary fuckin cake youre dealing with

rip to all the “fuckyeah___” blogs that carried our society at one point </3

Pros of having a brain that makes very fast associations: Good comebacks and jokes.

Cons of having a brain that makes very fast associations: that story about how you broke your foot reminded me of a fun fact about lizards.

Naming the female razor brand Venus is so personally offensive to me....you think Venus the goddess of love and sex and beauty was shaving her PUSSY? Go kill yourself

“We are locked in while people are working….and we don’t like it!

Today was a day and even though I said I wouldn’t, I drank anyway. I want to be healthy. I want to lose all this weight. I want to be the person I use to be. But when stress gets to me I cannot relax without alcohol to calm me down. I’ve been angry all day and I caved once again and ran to a liquor the moment I had an opportunity. Idk how to find stress relief in anything else anymore.

My little girl 🥰