mikroparadise
go fuck yourself
✦✶Fel✶✦
26. Aquarius. ENFJ.
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MWAH HA HA HA WELCOME TO YOUR NEW LIFE OF ANGUISH, BEE!!! Lol Joon has no mercy for us mere mortals. Enjoy your stay 😂😂
Who’s your BTS bias right now?
I imagine my BTS feelings as a gas stove with seven burners. All seven flames are on a low simmer all the time and then periodically some will flare up into rolling boils of thirst and enthusiasm and pining.
Yoongi has been boiling over for a while now, but I think that has begun to simmer down. As of today, I’m kind of in an in-between stage where they are all just quietly simmering. Maybe Yoongi’s, Hobi’s, and Jin’s flame burn a little brighter, but mostly I’m just waiting to see which one turns up the heat next.
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namjoon when asked about his view on gender equality
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jungkook patting rapmon hyung’s back after he gave the speech 😭😭😭
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i said what i said
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happy birthday to our lovely greatest leader, kim namjoon! ♡ I’m still wondering how can he be so hot and cute at the same time (ಠ.ಠ) (๑˘ᴗ˘๑)
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✨ FESTA Ask Game ✨
1. When is your anniversary with Bangtan, and what song or performance made you become part of the fandom?
2. What era did you start following Bangtan? Is that your favorite era? If not, what is your favorite?
3. What was your first comeback? What do you remember most from that comeback?
4. Who was your first bias? Are they still your bias? Why or why not?
5. Share a favorite Bangtan moment.
6. Top five _____ (pick a member) outfits.
7. Which episode of Run! BTS is your comfort episode?
8. What’s your favorite concert performance?
9. If you could only watch one FESTA practice video for the rest of your life, which one would you pick?
10. Make a Bangtan playlist for the end of the world.
11. Which Bangtan Bomb never fails to make you laugh?
12. Best Bangtan choreo?
13. What’s your favorite music show performance?
14. Top three music videos.
15. Five best songs for _____ (pick a mood or an activity).
16. Who is your Bangtan OTP?
17. What’s your favorite cover of a Bangtan song?
18. If you had an afternoon to go Namjooning, what kind of activity would you choose?
19. Whose closet would you raid, because you love their style?
20. What’s the one Bangtan lyric that’s stuck with you from the moment you first heard it?
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favourite bangtan habits (2/7)
joonie - gets shy right after acting cute and makes himself even cuter
hobi ver.
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Hello. I am here for an assk (stealing that from you). Because we love Jimin and Yoongi’s peach 😳😳, perhaps you, in your infinite wisdom and discernment, could rank BTS posteriors? Or at least your favorite photos/gifs of said glutes? I look to you to fulfill this need of BTS tumblr, oh sagacious Ana. 🙏🙏
alright miss e and anon — as a world-renowned expert in this particular area of study, i’ll gladly give you my assertions. and yes, that’s your formal warning that butt puns are forthcoming.
kim namjoon
damn, this is a great picture of joon and yes, his butt. he's got a perfect little peach back there, perky and pert and some other p words that escape me right now. i can only imagine that he's made some gains in that area like he has all over since he started guzzling protein shakes all day and night and spending every waking moment in the gym.
kim seokjin
look, we've talked about this already. seokjin is naturally lean. his rear end is no exception. he's got a perfectly -proportional and pleasantly shaped backside, the perfect bookend to that pretty face.
min yoongi
repeat after me: min yoongi does not have a big ass. it doesn't matter how many tweets you see claiming otherwise. what he does have is an especially cute ass that fits his body quite well. i love this all-black airport fit too, giving us a pretty decent look at his assets. 10/10.
jung hoseok
it's a hobi backing it up to a picture of hobi backing it up. buttception, if you will. look, i will gladly fight whoever i have to for the title of thirstiest hoseok stan on planet earth but even i must admit that mr. jung isn't working with a lot on the back end. that doesn't in any way take away from the fact that he's still the sexiest man alive.
park jimin
i'm going to break some news here. park jimin has an amazing ass. he knows it too, which is why he's keen to show it off and honestly keep doing that good work, sir. jimin's entire body is cut, lean muscle and his ass is like the little cherry on top of that sundae. as the great poet Dr. Juve Nile once wrote: you'se a fine motherfucker/won't you back that azz up
kim taehyung
tae's got a surprising amount of ass for a man as slender as he is. i'd like to personally thank him for wearing these slacks because they help perfectly highlight that perky derriere. asstounding.
jeon jungkook
easily one of the most memed pictures of jungkook on the internet. and i mean -- you see why, right? i'm kicking myself in the ass right now for burning that amazing closeup of his leather pants on another assk because it would have been perfect for this one, butt there's nothing to be done about that now. just enjoy this stunning picture of mother nature's best work -- and a lake.
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Sometimes the customer is wrong for unrelated reasons.
Due to the well of my friends’ “def not an axe murderer” date recommendations drying up, I have turned to that most sacred of modern relationship institutions: online dating. As a very busy person trying to get it in with other very busy people, I prize honestly and directness above all else when it comes to profile creation. I include full body shots in my photos, try to minimize the use of MySpace angles in selfies, and write at the very top of the summary/caption/profile that I am fat. Not “curvy,” not “thick,” not “lots to love”–I’m f*cking fat. I’m not ashamed of it, but I also known that weight is a dealbreaker for lots of people. I don’t want to waste anyone’s time.
About a year ago I met “Evan” via Tinder. We exchanged friendly messages for a few hours one night and agreed to meet up for drinks the following evening. I waited for a full hour past the designated time, and just as I was getting up to leave, the texts started rolling in.
“I can see you sweating from here.” “How long does it take you to roll out of bed every morning?” “Is there an earthquake or are you just getting up for more pretzels?”
Really idiotic, juvenile shit. Four separate numbers, commenting on things like my clothes, which clued me in that the senders were nearby. This went on for 15 minutes before I finally saw Evan, trying to hide in at a corner table and giggling with a group of buddies. I made eye contact, saw that he saw me, and then walked out. The texts kept up until I blocked the numbers a few hours later.
I ran into Evan about 3 weeks later. We got on the same elevator, and he tried really hard at being super interested in the emergency phone instructions. I just confronted him, and he admitted it was just some “game” that him and his friends play. He knew I was fat before agreeing to meet up; they all did, because that’s what they do. Match up with fat women, then either ghost them or “troll” them at the meet-up. It was also kinda obvious he’d never seen any consequences from this bullshit, as he was sweating pretty hard and looked more humiliated than I felt. I just said whatever and walked out, expecting to never see him again.
About a month ago, some local foodie wrote a great review of the restaurant I own, and we’ve been slammed ever since. In the past, I stayed mostly in the kitchen, but I’ve been doing more and more front-of-house stuff lately, and Valentine’s Day I was working a bit of a split between the two.
I saw Evan just as he was pushing in his date’s chair. My name isn’t on the restaurant, and he didn’t see me. I checked the section up at the hostess stand and saw that one of my favorite old-timers, Nan, was going to be his waitress. I went to the bar till, took out $400, put it in her hands, and said, “This is going to be your only table for the rest of the night. You are going to make this the worst date he has ever been on.”
She spilled every single thing she brought out to the table, all over him. I was waiting for him to blow up on Nan, but he bottled it up, obviously trying to make a good impression on his date. She seemed like a perfectly lovely lady; I told Nan to make sure everything was good for her and terrible for Evan.
She poured ice water on his d*ck. She smacked the back of his head with the edge of a tray. Spilled soup on his shirt. Dropped every fork he asked for. I personally oversalted his food, used the shit liquor for his drinks, used flour instead of sugar on his dessert. To be honest, I don’t know why he didn’t just walk out. He must have really wanted to f*ck this woman.
Finally, he cracked. Demanded Nan find the manager and bring her out. I was only too happy to emerge from the kitchen with my chef’s coat and say what, I’m not ashamed to admit, I’d been planning out all night.
“I would have said hi earlier, but I didn’t want the earthquake to disturb your dinner.”
I will savor the look on Evan’s face for the rest of my life.
He was a little too flummoxed to explain, so I pulled a chair up to the table and introduced myself to his date, Amanda. Told her how I met Evan. Showed her some fun old messages. Then I told gave her a voucher for a free meal on her next visit and told Evan to get the f*ck out and never come back.
He deleted his Tinder profile.
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JUNGKOOK + BUTTER (Hotter Remix)
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I think the thing I love most about fanfiction is that no two authors will ever have exactly the same understanding of a character. If you gave multiple writers the same situation with the same characters, none of them would write the same thing or have the characters react in the exact same way, yet every time it would still be completely believable. Every author understands, relates to, and connects with characters in a different way and that will always show in their writing because they’ll bring out certain aspects of a character’s personality that others won’t even pick up on, and still the character will be written in a way that rings of how they were originally in whatever piece of media they’re from. Nobody will write the same thing with the same characters, even if they’re using identical prompts or tropes, and it provides so much variety and enrichment and it’s honestly just a beautiful thing to see how differently everyone views their favourite characters while simultaneously seeing them the same.
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