Hey Mike. I don't know if you still do these but I need some of your amazing advice. What do you say/do when your SO is saying they love you but you're not ready to say it back yet?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlTo6HO3XXk&t=138s

I have this huge crush on a girl and because I'm an absolutely useless little lesbian, I developed the crush super quickly and now I know have to give her time to develop feelings for me as well, but I'm not sure how to put myself in the right position so that she can develop feelings for me too, without coming off creepy or like I don't have any feelings for this girl. Please help. I'm desperate.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R75vD-kx8XE&t=247s

For a long time many of you have been asking about a live Q & A so we're going to try this out . I'll see you there if you're around. I look forward to see you!

Event Link: https://fundo.area120.com/chatwithmike

When: April 25th, 6pm PST

Pricing: $10

“‘What if I make something that people don’t like?’ Good. Not everyone’s supposed to like your stuff. That makes the people who do like your work have good taste. Are you friends with everyone you’ve ever met in your entire life? No. Because it’s unrealistic.”  - Mike Falzone, Put Yourself Out There

tfw you’re in a vending machine

When you were having your near death month - when was that? September 2011? Was that September 11? Or 2010? - did you have float above the operating table / crossing back and forth type experiences?

Nah! I wish though. That would have been nice. Whenever they put me to sleep I’d have an “out of the room” experience. Those were my favorite. 

Hello mike. I just woke up at about 4am in a cold sweat. I had a dream that you and Steve (set in the dynamic banter style) just sang the last part of Bennie and the jets but never said jets. I’ll never get my peace from never hearing Dream y’all say “and the jets” but at least I laughed. Bennie BENNIE bbbbbbBENNNNNIIIIIIIII

That made you sweat?! Was it that good?

i thought it would be cool beans to send u a clip for your bad furniture segment because i work at an ikea but i also don't want people to know i work there what should i do mike

I would have never known you worked there until you just said that. Maybe just don’t wear your uniform in the video. Oh- and don’t mention that you work there and we’ll forget this whole conversation ever happened ; ) 

Hi Mike, I just wanted to say a quick "Thank you!" You recently answered my question about how to focus on Responsible Adult Tasks, and you challenged me to find ways to do those tasks creatively. I got permission to make my assignments into things that interest me - for example, I am now writing a lesson plan about how to modify/simplify Dungeons & Dragons for elementary school kids, instead of something way more boring. I just wanted to say thanks, your advice really helped. --Maggie

My pleasure! 

I sent u an ask a long time ago with some bullshit and I just recently followed the advice u gave me and uuuuuh I’m rly happy with the outcome thank u always, you 99 (ñineyñine) horn born boy.

Happy to hear it

My favorite show in the world @friendsandfriendsshow is next Saturday night (7/21)! Come watch some of the very best up-and-coming standup comics, completely ditch their material and hope for the best. There’s a link to tickets in my bio. • @openspacela

What annoys you at the drive thru window?

PLEASE tell me you remember Striped Chips Ahoy? It made me so happy when Dad would come home with a bag of these. It also made me fat. I have no regrets.

I’ll never truly know if I’m a Mike or a Steve

Mystery solved. Called it.

My neighbor has a unicorn shaped hedge...🦄🌳 youtu.be/GQmSf7RZafI