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Gran Autismo via /r/dank_meme http://ift.tt/2ERoh8Q
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Wait does the lie post have in common with the Mexican history. via /r/dank_meme http://ift.tt/2ons8Ac
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Tactical memeing [buy this template] via /r/MemeEconomy http://ift.tt/2HJtBJ5
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100 Dialogue Prompts
“Where the hell did that baby come from, Marissa?!"
“Did you destroy the world AGAIN?”
"What do you mean you’re a serial killer?”
“Listen, you can’t just keep shoving people off the sides of cliffs.”
“Oh my god. I thought you were dead.”
“That wasn’t there before”
“So what now?” “I have no idea, I thought that would kill us”
“I can’t believe you’re married to death, again!”
“Assassination would seem to be a better career, with your skillset.”
“It’s not my fault that the snails committed mutiny!”
“It’s situations like this that make me question why I follow you anywhere.”
“Where did this dog come from?”
“Did you remember to take the skin off?”
“I was going to ask what you’re doing, but at this point, I don’t think I want to know.”
“Why is there a corpse in the bathtub?”
“What in tarnation”
“I love you, I’ll make you love me too”
“This would be a lot easier if you sat still.”
“You see, it all began when it spoke back.”
“This is the pit where we keep the cube that screams.”
“Why did you steal my door?”
“Why didn’t you just listen to me…”
“Hey, you finally made it!”
“Wait, there were only three of them. Why are there now four?”
“How do you ‘accidentally’ hit someone hard enough to rip a hole through time and space?”
“Why is there bloodstains on the floor, honey?”
“… Why are you… eating tacos at 3 AM?” “Why not?”
“Why would you train your gerbil army to take over the world and enslave humanity?!”
“Are toasters supposed to float?”
“Honey, did you eat the dog”
“Hey bro, where’s our sister?” “Um… we don’t have a sister.”
“Wanna help me steal a giraffe?”
“I told you that you would regret it, now we’ve ended up like this.”
“Why are your clothes all wet? Why are you covered in glitter? Why does your sister have wings? Ah- get off the carpet! It’s getting all wet!”
“You’re not actually sure, are you?”
“What do you expect me to do? I’m a magician, not a wizard!”
“Dad? What are you doing here? This is a spaceship.”
“Mom says I can’t burn the city hall with you. She said that we’re going to my aunt that day.”
“You….you just don’t understand..”
“Okay, so. No more caffeine for you, that’s apparent.”
“Where were you last night?”
“Okay but have you seen what my hair does?! I kills people!”
“I don’t think you understand the term 'dead or alive’, because I don’t know if this thing IS dead or alive”
“What do you mean, ‘there wasn’t a murder weapon’?”
“Time flies, but I can fly faster.”
“You just crashed with MY podship into that wall and all you say is »It’s just a scratch«?”
“Now sweetie, don’t get scared when you hear the gunshots, okay? Just don’t come to the house.”
“and… why do you have a gorilla in your room again?”
“Okay, last question: why is there an owl in the fridge?”
“Well shit, you’re hotter than i was expecting.”
“It turns out, space isn’t actually the final frontier”
“If I had hands right now I would choke you.”
“…why did you think it would be a good idea to set that on fire?”
“Close your eyes, sweetie. They can’t get you then.”
“That tiger, that tiger eats humans”
“I swear, if ONE more person comes at me with their hot dog buns–”
“If you would have just kissed them, we wouldn’t be in this mess! Now we’re tied up on traintracks about to be smushed like bugs!”
“Do I want to know why your'e in my apartment wearing only sport shorts which are quite tight?”
“What do you mean that woman wasn’t you?”
“Why is there a dog on the couch?!”
“Stop dude stop, you scared the dogs.”
“What on earth made you think the banana was a good idea?
"Do I want to know whats in the box”
“Wait, no! Please don’t leave me here, it’s getting dark. Have you not heard the stories of the things in these woods?”
“Those were shoes yesterday”
“Can I at least put on my socks first?”
“Why is the Devil in your living room?” “It’s Saturday, Tom. Date night.”
“John, get your damn death ray off of my cat’s bed. You’ve given poor Fluffy radiation poisoning!”
“I get it, you think I don’t care about you. You think I want nothing to do with you… And you’re right.”
“No. Not after last time.”
“What made you think you could survive this?”
“No! I never said you could reenact General Sherman’s Total War tactic from the Civil War! We’re gonna get arrested!”
“Why does our 8 y/o daughter think that THAT werewolf is her pet dog?! He’s been terrorizing our entire town!!”
“Have you even bothered to consider your options before deciding to bungee jump into the Pacific?”
“That is NOT how you bury a dead body, Jared!”
“Do you know where the cat is? I haven’t seen it in two weeks…”
“You did what?!” “It’s not that big of a deal” “You killed a man!”
“But you love me, don’t you? So you’ll forgive me.”
“I don’t care.”
“You’re a fucking asshole, you know that, right?”
“You’d be surprised how flexible a sloth can be.”
“Oh great, the world exploded…. again”
“I dressed up for THIS?”
“Why? And how?”
“Would it hurt you to tell me exactly where we’re going?”
“You can’t take back those words anymore. Or everything else you did.”
“he didn’t do anything I fucking told him to do!”
“When they came, why didn’t you fight?”
“What are you doing here?” “I was about to ask you the same thing…” “Well, it’s called the hanging tree for a reason.”
“__, please come down from the tree, i’ll treat you to pizza.”
“You can… seriously? Oh my gosh, teach me teach me teach me!!”
“I wasn’t aware that 'monster’ was a term of endearment.”
“Yes, I’m sure your flower pot really is trying to kill you, Debra.”
“Why is our child on the roof?”
“Do you want a hug? Will that help?”
“How could you sign us up for this without reading the fine print?! It says right there that we have to give up everything!!!”
“And it’s been stuck in there how long now?”
“I learned I can’t trust you when the world was "fine”, now tell me one reason not to place a bullet between your eyes and listen to you.“
“Why the hell are you naked in my room?”
"Having criminals line up against their will and you killing them is not community service!”
100 prompts. Amazing. Thank you for sharing your ideas and contributing to our community.
Let’s make a new list right now! Leave a reply and don’t forget the double quotes “”! I will use the first 100 prompts for the next list. One prompt per amigo please!
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100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 2
We did it amigos. Another list! I am so grateful that you all are sharing your ideas to help inspire others (faith in humanity restored)
“Where is my fucking pudding?!”
“I thought we agreed to never use butter for that reason again…”
“Well if it’s the guy who never shuts up about toilet paper!”
“Honey, did you see my sniper rifle?”
“Oops…”
“God damn it he died. Whatever. Just leave him there.”
“Listen, I know you’re upset, but please put down the baking soda before someone gets hurt.”
“Look, about the monkey…”
“I don’t understand! I only used a finger.”
“It’s not as hard as you think, I promise.”
“well this is what i call hell of a night”
“How could an entire school disappear?”
“What do you mean the brownies are "not quite brownies”?“
"Yes, I understand that its cool, but why does your toaster have wings?” “Well its alive of course. It flies.”
“Don’t turn that on!”
“Wait…I’m also- technically- underage and you’re a stranger…should I be screaming also?”
“I though you meant "literally” metaphorically. “
"Ok so don’t get mad but I might have started a war.”
“Good morning… I see the assassins failed again.”
“You’re a murderer, how are you working at a hospital?”
“That cat just stole my cereal!”
“Did you see that? Please tell me you saw it.”
“Hey, can you stop shooting people right now? We’re trying to sleep.”
“THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS KEITH!”
“If you think I’m leaving you and your demon eyes and evil horns you’re wrong.”
“What do you mean, this isn’t Earth?”
“Damn it, ____! Not peanuts again!”
“Why did I just press the big red button?”
“So tell me again why this dead body is being sent to Goodwill?”
“Lucifer, I know that we said we would share rent but you never said anything about your brother living with us.”
“God dammit, I’m supposed to be a bat! Why the hell am I a possum, Karen?!”
“Sarah, where’s the dog?” “Up in space?”
“You had only one job and it wasn’t even a difficult task, but seriously, how did you end up like this!?”
“Well I never said I WASN’T going to kill the bartender …”
“I mean, it was only a small eldritch being, so it wasn’t that bad…”
“Hold me back bro!”
“I think there’s a new lifeform evolving in my fridge.”
“WHAT THE FUCK?!”
“Can we have lunch now, or do you still want to continue looking at dead people?”
“I can’t believe you ate my cheese…we’re over”
“Sometimes I wonder why we’re still friends.” “Because I turned you into a cyborg after being shredded by an explosion and you owe me.” “…Fair enough.”
“Well, I didn’t quite expect to wake up pregnant either and yet… here we are, so can you please pass me that can of bread?”
“Ok, I know I said ‘You can throw a hairbrush at them’, but I didn’t actually mean it!”
“When I told you to feed the dog I didn’t expect you to feed him the neighbors cat.”
“Clearly, you’ve never gotten rid of a body before…”
“This sort of thing never happened when I was dating your brother.”
Sometimes, I wonder about you. And then I worry.“
” Wait, wait, wait, start from the very beginning. how did you manage to set the house on fire with that??“
"For fucks sake, dude, how many times do I have to tell you that that’s not what penises are for?”
“One woman’s terrorist is another woman’s freedom fighter.”
“This isn’t right… the humans shouldn’t be able to move on their own.”
“Why is unicorn blood on our shopping list?”
“Must you unhinge your jaw like that when you eat? It’s disgusting.”
“You’ve violated the law, my trust, and your friend. Tell me, why should I believe anything you say?”
“No, no don’t open the fridge, I need to keep they eyeballs cold.”
“did he break his jaw again by falling down a flight of stairs?” “Passive aggressive much?”
“For the last time, put the declaration of independence back!”
"That isn’t permanent, right?”
“You know, ripping someone’s beating heart right out of their chest with your bare hand looks cool in anime, but irl it’s just unsanitary…”
“She didn’t tell you” “Tell me what” “He’s dead”
“But his dad is an asshole–” “HIS AUTHOR IS AN ASSHOLE”
“You are here and you haven’t tried to kill me yet. You must want something from me.”
“The salesperson made a flying tentacle monster sound a lot more alluring, I swear!”
“Okay…the radiator just growled at me”
“Dude, were you listening to me? Why are you barking?” “I’m not barking. I thought YOU were barking!”
“How did you get that bump on your lip”
“Buddy. You need to chill, and put that knife away before I get out my gun.”
“ ” I dare you to take your shirt off" “ no” “ I doubledare you” “No” “I tripledare you” “ god dammit Steve , im not wearing a Shirt!”“
"Why the fuck are there founding fathers in our living room”
“Girls only say 'I will not dignify that with a response.’ when they’ve done the thing you’ve just accused them of.” “Do you know this, because you’ve done it?” “I will not dignify that with a response.”
“They think we’re terrible but really we’re only mediocre”
“You’d think by now we’d stop bringing death into these things. Look at them, they have anxiety!”
“Ok, first of all asshat, stop touching me. Second, that is never going to work out! Third, stop TOUCHING me.”
“So if I do understand, you’re telling me that you created insects robots. The same one that destroyed the city. ”
“Why is THIS in your fridge? This is some serious contraband.”
“Please tell me you’re joking about marrying the bastard’s son we call Satan.” “ Don’t talk about your mother like that!!”
“Did you explode the microwave again?!”
"Honey where’s the dog?” “Like I said, I’m making a smoothie.”
“Fifteen bucks you can’t hook up with Satan.” “Make it twenty.”
“I don’t know, maybe because he has some semblance of taste?
"What could possibly make you think eating three tons of cheese for the mice in radiation-test labs was okay?!”
“Who actually let the dogs out?”
“Hey, you don’t know how many bodies are buried in my backyard.”
“I told you to kill me.” “I did. Just this morning.” “Well, shit!”
“So… This isn’t the end, is it? I mean I still want to hang out with you at least. Maybe go for another space adventure, hm?”
“I’m sorry, it was the HEAT OF THE MOMENT,”
"Hey, wanna go out for a romantic moonlight killing spree?”
“So, you’re into …..? Huh, I never would’ve known.”
“Did you hear that scream?” “Yes, I’m the one who screamed”
“What are you doing?”
“But really, why would anyone need two dozen armadillos?”
“You can’t keep 'solving’ your problems by going to another dimension!”
“I still can’t believe you assassinated a unicorn.”
“Wait, you have FOUR knives?” “No, no. I have four knives ON me.”
“I’ve killed a man using only a copy of Hamlet and a computer mouse. I am NOT afraid of you!"
"What the hell are those?”
“Are you sure you’re not an arsonist?”
“I know, right? You’d suspect any of them of secretly being an alien, but not…”
“Why didn’t you stop?”
“So, start explaining why there are dozens of puppies in my guest room.”
Let’s make another list. Part 3! Leave a reply and don’t forget the double quotes “”. I want to give everyone a chance to contribute to our community. So as always, one prompt per amigo. Dankje!
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100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 3
And we did it again, amigos!
“My sock is missing.”
“I must say it can be rather therapeutic”
“Shit, they spotted us. Quick, put your Obama mask on.”
“You raided my village, killed my parents and slaughtered tens of innocent people. I was able to forgive you for all of that-tell myself it was in your nature. But then you did something heinous. Something beyond all possible hope of redemption. You killed my dog.”
“What do you mean you accidentally assassinated the Pope!?”
“I would love to give a fuck about you but sadly my last one went off to war and never returned”
“If you think I’ll stop my quest for world domination for a bag of cookies, you are,,, right… Now, gimme that!”
“What are you doing with that rubber duckie toy– OH DEAR GOD LORD HAVE MERCY”
“I’m more afraid of myself than you.”
“I already told you, there’s nothing we can do about the fights. We COULD if you stopped spoiling shows and books to everyone.”
“You, my friend, are the most unnecessary when it comes to your excessively sassy attitude.”
“I love you.” “…..What? OH APRIL FOOLS.”
“What is this, a concert for ants???”
“I made it! I’m in the list! This is being a great day since I remembered it’s a Thursday, not a Monday!”
“It’s not that I don’t believe you. It’s just that, well, I’ve got a sink full of dishes and a cat to wash.”
“When you said i had pretty eyes i thought you were complimenting me,not trying to buy them!”
“The wolves eat tonight.”
“Gee, thanks for nearly killing me because of ____!” “Listen up here, are you dead? You’d better be greateful you’re still alive tou little shit.”
"When you said you could fly, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
“Sarah, I love you and all but hOW ON EARTH DO YOU KEEP SENDING OUR PETS TO SPACE?!”
“Look, just because you kidnapped me doesn’t mean I’m going to marry you.”
“How in God’s name did you even get up there?!”
“I think I misplaced my right hand”
“I did it! I got into university!” “That’s great! What course?” “Uh… Would it be a bad thing if I told you that… Dark magic and villainy?”
“Well, it just so happens that I have been a homeless man for three years now. That must mean I’m the chosen one!”
“Have your eyes always been that colour?”
“I’m going to fight the sun!”
“You can’t just run around punching people you don’t like, ____!”
“I’m not into that kinda thing.”
“Dude why did you eat all that cake on your own?”
“I just wanted to know if we could use a plastic knife”
“Uhhhh, guys? Don’t hate me, but I think I just released Satan”
“Well, fine… Just wait a little bit before you do something stupid.” “…”
“What do you mean there’s no bacon flavored ice cream!?”
“What do you mean you’re my sister? I don’t have a sister!”
“Why the hell do we need a duck to hunt Bigfoot?”
“Oh, so you can do pink explosions too”
“This isn’t my kitchen, is it?”
“Ohhh, so THAT’S what you meant by ‘shooting starts’.”
“ACHOO” “bless you” “Thank you, wait a minute I live alone”
“Put my creepy cat in a different room? Don’t be silly! I don’t even have a cat!”
“Katie, please stop shooting me with tranquilizer darts.”
“Why did you think it was a good idea to only bring a potato to this heist?”
“Okay, we make this promise now - nobody look at that fucking goat ever again.”
“Sarah, why is the cat naked?”
“Wait. You’re aroused?”
“Why would that surprise you?”
“It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
“okay so let me get this straight, you’re not actually my long lost twin…” “yes.” “…because you’re me from another dimension” “…yes.”
“I’m sorry, but did that thing just talk?”
“I thought we promised to never speak of that incident again!”
"Sweetheart”“Yes dear”“Some of your morally challenged friends are trying to kidnap me again.”“And?”“And!?”“You’re a big girl, you can take care of yourself.”“Of course I can, but the gesture would have been nice!”
“how many epilepsy pills can you take before you overdose?” “Just one or two.” “I’m gonna have to call you back.”
“…I was GOING to ask why there’s a pink goo all over the kitchen floor but I think that can wait whilst I ask what the FUCK IS GOING ON?”
“For the last time, can you stop calling that thing 'human’”
“Okay, that is a seriously dodgy looking hat-are you certain you’re right about this?”
“Really Darling, you can stop trying to scream, we’ve already espablished that no one cares and it’s giving you unflattering lines on your forehead.”
“_______, why am I on the ceiling?”
“What the heck happened while I was at the store?
"What the actual fuck!” “I did warn-” “Yes I know you said you were crazy, but this…. This is…” “Just another Tuesday. Oh we’re late for tea!” “With who?!” “With the Queen of course, who else?”
“Despreate times call for cows.”
“Did you burn the last piece of toast again?”
“You didn’t TELL me there’d be free food!”
“Did Jesus really die for this bullshit?”
“Do you want the apocalypse?!! Because that’s how you get the apocalypse!!!”
“Goddamit, I’m dead again aren’t I? How the hell did I do it this time?”
“Dude, no.”
“I may be a horrible person, but at least I am an honest one.”
“I told you, I dress to kill, now fetch me my fancy stilettos, mama’s gonna slay tonight!”
“I left the room for 3 minutes and you really want to tell me you started a war with every single planet?” “Well, I told you 3 months ago to not leave me alone.” “And I told you I have to use the bathroom 3 months ago!”
“Wow, only took 3 minutes to destroy the world.” “Let’s see if I can do it in 2!”
“So… Wh-Why- How did you flush the duck down the toilet?”
“dude. i liked that carpet. do you know how hard it is to wash bloodstains out of carpets.”
“Don’t worry, it’s much worse than it looks.”
“What are you doing ___?” “I’m camping.” “No you’re beside tree with a blank-” “CAMPING”
“WHAT THE FUCK IS A DUCKPOTATO”
“PUT THE PUPPY DOWN AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!”
“PLEASE DON’T HANG UP! YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE IN DANGER!”
“What the hell kind of scream was that? And how did you make it?! ”
“Hey, uhm… Hate to interrupt your conversation, but why the fuck is there a giraffe on the soup aisle”
“You mean to tell me that somebody decided it was a good idea to cross plums and apricots, but nobody can figure out why my cat has RABBIT ears?”
“Sorry but um… why is there a fox and a bear singing Ooh la la by Britney Spears on the balcony? And where is my chicken, Pudding?!”
“Where did you get LIGHT-UP COMBAT BOOTS? THEY CHANGE COLOR?!”
“So you’re telling me there was a genie trapped in that can of soup? And you accidentally ATE THE GENIE?!”
“Listen…don’t take this the wrong way, but…I love the OTHER you better.”
“Tell me why, exactly, did you need the rubber chicken? ”
“Look, I’m not a liar, alright? And I ain’t overdramatic or hyperbolic or whatever else you wanna call me. So when I say I would sell my soul for a pancake right now, I mean I will literally sell my soul for a pancake right now. And maybe a million dollars.”
“Wait a second, you’re telling me that….. YOU’VE BEEN DATING SATAN BEHIND MY BACK FOR FOUR WHOLE YEARS?!!!”
“Well dad did say he would be gone for five days…what the hell? Let’s go to the corner store!”
“Why did you buy 74 melons?!”
“Where’s the toaster?” “It’s in the kitchen… Why do you have a fork?” “K, thanks.”
“Death, out of all the things in this world, why are so afraid of ____?”
“This floor is like my life; Cold and Hard.”
“So you’re telling me that I am the only thing that is preventing a Third World War, right?” “Yeah, pretty much.”
“I don’t know your name and you don’t know mine but I promise it will turn out okay.”
“Little did you know, they were slowly turning into werewolves.”
“Umm… I may have possibly accidentally blown up another planet”
“I told you not to do that… now look, you’ve lost your hand!”
“Every time you speak I literally die a little”
“One baby soul please, Adult souls give me gas!”
“I need you, yes you (you should feel targeted), to come up with a new dialogue prompt for part 4 and leave it in the comments below. It’s fun and the first 100 replies will make the next list. As always, one prompt per amigo and don’t forget the doubles quotes “”. Pantoffel” (Click here for part 1 and here for part 2)
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100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 4
It’s amazing to see how much we can create together, my amigos. Here’s part 4.
“Look, I might be evil but even I have standards.”
“Do your parents know you’re dating Death?” “No, I promised we wouldn’t get back together after he broke up with me the first time.”
“Wait why am I naked and covered in cheese?”
“Good god, that cake is fuckin stale and dry mate!!” “Just like how you are recently? Gee, thanks.”
"There is always time for a high-five.”
“Karen, what would ever posses you to find me here.”
“Oh my god, put that man down! Come on, let’s go get you some REAL food.”
“A demonic sugar glider?”
“People always say they never thought they would be here but I absolutely did.”
“And I thought I was a bit weird. But you! You are insane!”
“So your hair knows kung-fu? Ha, that’s nothing! MY hair knows HAIR-ATE!” (You know, as in karate) (This used to be an insider between me and a friend…)
“One day, darling, you and I are going to conquer the Universe not just our world.”
“Did you seriously think they wouldn’t notice when their humans went missing?!”
“Well, maybe next time you should consider that not everyone wants to be woken up at four in the morning by a- what IS that, anyway?!”
“Now, how exactly did your foot get stuck in the barrel?”
“I hope you realize what you’re doing. This forest never ends, you know that, right?”
“You can’t just kill someone and then make it all better by saying sorry!”
“Why the fuck is my cat levitating?!” “He said he wanted to feel what flying was”
“You’re trying to tell me you killed three men…with a microphone?”
“Hang on, are you a John Wick fan?”
“IT’S TWO IN THE MORNING!” “And?” “ I have a strict no murder rule until eight. Call me then.”
“I did realize you were going to be naked the whole time”
“Ok, I understand you like animals, but you can’t just bring a tiger into the apparent without asking!”
“I…I didn’t want you to find out like this. I’m so sorry.”
“OH MY GOD CATHERINE! I JUST SAW A NARWHAL! I’M TELLING YOU, I SAW A FREAKIN’ WHALE UNICORN!”
“I gotta go, I left my toaster in the oven!
"Why is there a gaggle of fancy buisness men on my front lawn?”
“Can you please stop referring to me as ____! That’s not my name!” “Then what is?” “I don’t know!”
*Sarcastic* “Yeah, sure. I won’t at all mind being your footslave.” “Oh, goody! I knew you’d agree!” “Wait, what?”
“When are you going to give up on this whole ‘evil’ thing?” “When it stops being so much fun!”
“You didnt say to KILL the man!” “WELL I DIDNT SAY NOT TOO”
“Mum, Dad… I’m gay.” “That’s nice, honey, but now is not the right time!”
“Take a look at your soul and consider your life choices! Oh wait, that’s right! You don’t fucking have a soul!” “Oh, god, just go drown in a bathtub of syrup why don’t ya?”
“I kindly ask you to please quit making your heart stop. It’s creeping me out!” “So… Y-You were sleeping in a coffin” “Yeah I’m used to it” “Are you a vampire or what?! How can someone get used to sleep in a coffin?” “No I’m used to sleep I never said that I’m used to sleep in a freaking coffin!”
“Darling I love you, more than I can ever express in words…. But please stop teaching chickens necromancy.”
“I wanted to know why you stole souls, not your melodramatic backstory…”
“I really wish that old white man would stop rubbing his nipples at me”
“You know it is written: Do not summon Satan, right ?”
“Look around, what is this?” “My room?” “No, this is pathetic.”
“I’ve been a professor for 20 years, and yet still my greatest secret hasn’t been revealed–I can’t read.”
“Our souls don’t belong in these 'human’ bodies, every one of us is implanted here from another galaxy, and this has been the case for a thousand years. No one knows what 'actual humans’ are like without us inhabiting them.”
“Did you just create a portal in time and space to pull another version of yourself into this world so I have to deal with another annoying idiot?” “No but thanks for the idea.”
“You’re bleeding?!” “Nah, I’m frolicing in a field of flowers - yes I’m bleeding!”
“Let me get this straight. I tell you that I make a decent omelette and you somehow equate that to qualification for piloting a spaceship?”
“It’s the weekend! Let’s hit the town! See a concert, redo our wardrobes, get high, start a crime ring, I don’t know.”
“Keep running, you’ve only got 4HP!”
“This is clearly your first time. Stop screaming already, you’ll wake the neighbors!”
“Has anyone seen the outdoors?” “What the fuck is an outdoors?”
“Why do I feel like this again, I thought we were done with this?”
“Look, as much as I like to hang out with you, I’ve gotta go and save the earth. Toodles!”
“Have you seen?… oh shit”
“Two questions: one, how many matches do you have, and two, where do you keep your socks?”
“Because fuck surveys, that’s why!”
“Stop yelling out the window or the koalas will rip your face off!”
“I guess when I heard 'Night of Debauchery’… I didn’t picture muffins on your pajamas.”
“Honey, you can’t keep throwing people to the pit of pain and despair just because they don’t like choc mint ice cream.”
“Oh, no honey, put that back…”
“It’s going to be too late, you know. It’s always too late.”
“Hey, so, uh… I’m in trouble…” “What did you do this time?” “I got stranded in Wales….. again…”
“OK, but… how do we get the dog out of a hole in space in time exactly?”
“Aren’t people supposed to grow instead of shrink ?”
“Wait. You’re aroused?” “Why would that surprise you?” “It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
"I pay your taxes”
“No, ____. We did not raise our hamster like this.”
“You can’t run from your own shadow(s), what makes you think you can run from theirs?”
“You adopted… a dog?” “Mate, that’s not a dog.”
“And at this moment, he decided to punch himself in the face.” “Narrator, listen, I know you’ve been with me my whole life, but you’re a huge jerk.”
“Why didn’t you tell me it was a portal BEFORE we ended up here?”
“Is that…the Mona Lisa.” “…Yes…” “What did I say to you about stealing priceless artifacts!?” “…That I had to take you with me next time.” “Exactly!”
“Yes, I agree, magic is pretty cool. But did you really have to use it for THIS?”
“Despite the fact that was epic, you’re still suspended”
“Chill, dad it’s not what you think it is!” “Well it looks like you’re making out with the demon your grandma banished to cellar…WHY IS HE IN YOUR ROOM?”
“If you truly love me you’ll let me-OH FUCKING HELL DID YOU JUST STAB ME!?”
“Spoon”
“What began as a conflict over the transfer of consciousness from flesh to machines escalated into a war which has decimated a Million worlds.The ___ and the ___ have all but exhausted the the resources of a galaxy in their struggle for domination. Both sides, now crippled beyond repair, the remnants of their armies continue to battle on ravaged planets, their hatred fueled by over four thousand years of total war. This is a fight to the death. For each side, the only acceptable outcome is…“
”… I’m going back to bed. You brought it here, you can deal with the mammoth yourself.“
"Is the food supposed to be moving?”
“You mean to tell me that in the two minutes I was gone, you bombed a minor country, got married to a stripper, and assassinated a world leader?!”
“Is that a unicorn???? EATING MY BEEF JERKY?!”
“Do I get to dream about you again tonight?”
“Well now I have to change clothes AGAIN!”
“All of this was because of a… OF A PLUSHIE?!” “Well…Yeah?” “Great, how are we going to get out of jail now?!”
“So…you gonna tell me why my brother is upside down and why you’re wearing my purple thong?”
“Did you really have to burn down another Cracker Barrel?”
“Sir, that’s impossible, you can’t do that.” “IS THAT A FUCKING CHALLENGE?!?!”
“We need to invade Portugal.” “…Sure, why not?”
“Did you divide by zero?! YOU’RE GOING TO KILL US ALL”
“Stand down, Milady, this is a matter between gentlemen with mustaches.”
“Next time you get arrested I am NOT paying your bail” “That’s a lie and you know it.” “….”
“I thought you were dead.” “So did I”
“John dont flush the dog down the toilet”
“What did I say again about resurrecting dictators??”
“Cucumbers are NOT pets… what do you mean, you ate him??”
“Are you and God seriously fighting right now? And what happened to Satan?”
“Are ferrets supposed to be blue??”
“I’m the protagonist? Well I guess that explains why I look like about a thousand other people.”
“Why do I do this to myself?”
“Stop eating your tortilla chips with ketchup. It’s unattractive.”
“How do you eat an entire cheese wheel in one sitting?”
“Why are God and Satan moving in with us?”
Let’s make one more ‘100 Dialogue Prompts’ list together. Leave a comment with your prompt below. Don’t forget the double quotes “”. And as always, only one prompt per amigo! Also, here is your random Dutch word of the day: pindakaas
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100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 5
Great team work, amigos. Here’s is part 5!
“Why is there a naked Ken Barbie doll tied up in your room?” “Goddammit, ____! I told you not to go in there!”
“No Candice, I am NOT selling you my soul again.”
“why is the fairy holding a gun.”
“Jesus Christ on a boat made of crackers, what are you doing outside of the pod ship again?”
“WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT” “He said I couldn’t… and I thought it was a challenge…”
“How the fuck did you dye the ocean ORANGE?!”
“Why are the roses green?”
“Great, you made death angry.”
”この___だ！”
“That better be a press on tattoo.”
“If you only listened to the nature, you could learn more than humans ever passed to us.”
“So, we’re dead?” “Well, kind of… yeah.”
“Remind me again why you have a centaur tied up in your truck?”
“Can you stop staring into my soul every time we meet? I feel exposed.”
“You do realize that he wasn’t breathing when he spoke to us, right?”
“I liked you better when you where possessed by that demon friend of yours”
“You’re absolutely in love with him and have been for at least 2 years if you don’t go tell him how you feel I swear to god I will”
“There are worse things in life than death.” “Nobody asked you,Lucifer.” “Just saying.”
“Well, it’s wonderful that you’re having a sexuality crisis, but in case you forgot, we’re kind of in the middle of STOPPING THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!”
“Why is there a horse crashing on our couch?” “Oh, that’s Satan.”
“Why would I hang out with you? You’re so incompetent! Your sacrifice to the faeries was so insufficient!”
“Where the hell did the dragon go?! He was right here!”
“Ok, the recipie calls for two cups of lemon and a cup of sugar, but all I see are cough syrup and battery acid…”
“What do you mean today’s not a Tuesday?!”
“So everyone on Earth had the same dream as me?”
“you know what will solve that? Scotch.”
“I didn’t ask for this!” “… you didn’t?”
“How is it that the least likely outcome is always the outcome I receive?!” “You should go buy a lottery ticket.”
“Guys, i know you’re all busy, but if any of you wants the dinner done, i will need my arm back”
“Of COURSE I care about you. That’s why I sold your soul on the black market.”
“JOHN I AM BEGINNING TO QUESTION THE VALIDITY OF YOUR PLAN” “AS AM I ALEX, AS AM I”
“What?”
“I will take the concept of my rage, transform it into a physical weapon, and use it to BEAT YOU TO DEATH!”
“Did you really HAD to slap the shark?!” “I mean… If you want me to kick it-”
“I don’t care, your tamagotchi dying is not an excuse to wake me up before noon!”
“You are telling me that the socks with hearts that I’ve been mocking since the first day you arrived are, in fact, what keep you alive?” “Yes!” “What?”
“So you really want me to believe that you’re actually from the future?”
“Dude. What have you done. Now we HAVE TO save those aliens!”
“Can you just stop?” “God no, why would I do that?”
“Hey at least I get laid doing it”
“While that’s a lovely story, it doesn’t quite explain the fires.”
“Dude, please tell me that you planned to deal with her guardian angel when you killed her.”
“That’s such a stupid idea… let’s do it.”
“What do you MEAN this just HAPPENS?!” “All the time, actually.”
“I swear, one day you’ll kill us both.” “Oh please, I’ve never been that reckless.” “…” “That was ONE TIME!”
“Why did you buy a nuke?!” “Why wouldn’t I? It was on sale”
“I am fueled purely by rage and instant coffee.”
“How are you a million years old, bit you can’t even remember who George Washington is?”
“Because I gave not, a single shit.”
“Is that a marijuana? In my good Christian suburbs?!”
“WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT KILLING PEOPLE?? YOU NEVER USE THE DRAGON, YOU IDIOT”
“I don’t care if he’s a unicorn, NO ONE EATS MY MINI EGGS!”
“Jesus Christ Lewis! *Again* with the Snails?” “It’s Thursday! You said Thursday’s were okay!”
“Here’s a story for you. I woke up in Vegas as a makeup guru. I was REALLY drunk.”
“If all your friends jumped off a cliff would you…WAIT, NO IT WAS A JOKE, STOP!”
“You’re kinda like hitchhiking Ghost Busters, aren’t you?”
“For gods sake, ditch the fanny pack”
“Take the tomato!” “No, I don’t want the tomato” “JUST TAKE THE TOMATO”
“‘That’s no moon!’ Everyone remembered Jimmy’s words that night as he scolded his friends for half-heartedly pulling their pants down.”
“WHY IS THERE A BEAR IN MY BATHROOM”
“"Can you believe it?” “Just barely.” "Man, I never thought he would ACTUALLY throw the chair.“”
“What did you THINK girl scout cookies were made of?”
“Really? That’s not what I heard from Mrs. Sanchez across the hall!” “Mom she’s literally a possessed cow, why do you listen to her?”
“You got the rubber chicken, cheese whiz, and dish soap?” “Yep” “Ok, let’s do this!”
“Are you building a life-sized Godzilla at 3am again?”
“Don’t get pissy at me, YOU’RE the one who didn’t say what kind of tea bags to get for the clown!”
"So YOU’RE the guy the math textbooks warned us about.”
“Where’s our cat?” “I thought you were responsible for it?..”
“What do you mean I’m half demon”
“why are you duct taping a cat to the ceiling?” “aesthetic.”
“Hope is a lie. So is philosophy, morality, language in general, the sky, dogs, and about a third of the population of Michigan.”
“So let me get this straight. You filled a Darth Vader costume… With cats?”
“How did I die this time?” “Well, it was pretty quick. I missed it, but from what I can tell, you convinced an entire school of 4000 people to throw watermelons at you all at the same time.” “…And?” “The impact of the watermelons threw you back a couple hundred kilometers and you landed in the ocean…inside the mouth of a particularly hungry shark.” “Goddamn it I wanted this death to be metal!”
“Yesterday I learned that my childhood friend was a demon.”
“Please tell me you said 'What bothers me most.’ "Yes? What the hell did you think I said?” Well….it kinda sounded like “His father’s meatloaf.’
"Goddammit, why won’t you die?!” "I DON’T FUCKING KNOW! “
"I’d appreciate it if you fucking stopped, thanks.”
“What the hell is this?” “It’s jello, you eat it”
"You didn’t” “I did and I made them watch”
"Why in the hell did you think this was a good idea?” “Look, YOU try saying 'No’ to not just a primordial deity, but my little sister as well.” “…Ok, you got me there.”
“How do you know that it’s supposed to look like this?”
“Are you making *tea*?!” “Well what else am I supposed to do?” “I don’t know maybe STOP THE MONSTER THATS RIGHT IN FRONT OF US!!”
“Why are you in a dress?” “Lucifer wanted to have a tea party. You don’t say no to Lucifer”
“So you’re telling me that aliens invaded while I was on vacation?”
“I appreciate the gesture but I prefer my horses fried rather than alive.”
*whining* “But Mooommm, I don’t want to save the woooorrld!”
“Now I know not to cry there”
“What if we DIDNT kill the king every Thursday” “Good idea we’ll kill him on Fridays instead.”
“So you’re a zombie now?” “I guess I am” “So what are you gonna do about it?” “*shrug* I don’t know….”
“I guess you weren’t joking when you said that the world is ruled by ants”
“When I die, tell everyone 'I told you so.’”
“You’re not real… You’re only in those silly books!” “Correction, my dear, you’re the fictional one.”
“There was no 'free pie’ you moron! You stole it!”
“Okay, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that my pet rock has gained sentience, just like we planned! The bad news is that it turns out he’s evil and is currently building a rock army with the intent of taking over the world. aaaand, he’s trying to get Mt. Everest on his side.”
“Why is our baby on a wanted poster?”
“Zombies are people too, Mom!”
“… I’m gonna go for it. Hold my head for me real quick, and don’t put it on a mannequin like you did last time.”
“Fascinating… I was unaware that was physically plausible.” “I know right.”
“ACHOO!” “Bless you.” “No sorry, that won’t work on me.”
“Bye, Felicia. Take you and your cat ears! GO!”
Prepare yourselves, because starting from tomorrow we will be making ‘100 Prompts That Will Make You Cry’ lists. Hope you enjoy this one. Which prompt do you like the most?
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Waiting for the midnight train going anywhere
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… there are fake angels everywhere, it’s hard to tell which ones are real anymore 💔
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