midnight-cosmonaut
cosmonaut
“and when nobody wakes you up in the morning, and when nobody waits for you at night, and when you can do whatever you want. what do you call it, freedom or loneliness?”
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my only two moods ever are tenderness and hysteria
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can you infodump to me? (i love you) is this overwhelming? (i love you) is this the right texture? (i love you) is it ok to touch you? (i love you) do you want the subtitles on? (i love you) do you want to go somewhere less noisy? (i love you)
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✨Chaotic STEM Academia✨
~ Always needing to write down interesting bits of research papers or uni lesson pages but never having the patience to maintain a whole new notebook for it; consequently, you’ve got delightful facts from like four unrelated subjects scribbled in the margins of notebooks and textbooks and on post-it notes and napkins and The Cat (flipping through your notebooks and textbooks is always a wild ride)
~ Notes for a single subject are either spread out over five different notebooks and several loose sheets (Not In Binders, I repeat, Not In Binders) or you’ve got the whole year’s coursework down in one very thicc notebook, there is no in between (organisation is not your strong suit bestie, it’s okay)
~ Hyperfixating on questions and topics (you have no concept of Leave It And Move On) the ensuing chaos of research and rabbit holes and stack exchange questions and reddit threads from 10 years ago mean that you usually know way more than you need to about certain things (but knowledge is never wasted, you tell yourself, after closing your laptop at 3 am on a Tuesday morning)
~ Ink spots in places ink spots are not usually found (elbows, knees, feet) after a study session (you have no memory of how they got there and now it’s gonna take forever to scrub them out, but that is the price you pay for getting things done)
~ Forgetting to bring things to class (notebooks, stationery, devices, the works) but luckily your backpack houses a second dimension of pure chaos (the second zip) from whence you can summon a very worn-looking pencil from three years ago in a pinch (once the second dimension stationery runs out, you really need to get your shit together and pack for lessons)
~ Taking pride in your rough work- scribbled equations and calculations and sketched diagrams covering pages delight you; there’s something solid and real about them, proof that you’ve done things and learned things. You flip through your rough notebook after you’ve used up the last bit of space in it, and take heart in the fact that you’re different from the person at the beginning of the book
~ The education system fills you with despair sometimes, in all of its rigidity, in all of its focus on only a few exams. You want to learn for the sake of learning, you want to pursue every single one of your myriad interests, but eventually realise it’s not practical. Some day, you tell yourself.
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women in stem. women in root. women in leaf.
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stem dark academia is so beautiful.
scratched notes of equations, detailed diagrams with annotations of bones & blood vessels, old notebooks containing maths problems invented & solved in a quiet afternoon.
classical music blasting from a cheap speaker. cold university dorms with posters of animal bones & carcass that were too beautiful to be passed.
debates over conservation expectations, dancing to the sound of rain after a long lecture. sleepless nights in the library, staring at a screen that no longer makes sense.
kind professors in tweed jackets & loose blouses, demonstrating how to calculate a sum, or take apart a specimen.
dirty fingernails from field work, dirty lab coats from schoolwork.
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im just crying while scrolling through the mfa's digitized 18th century drawings which include a really soft and loving drawing of a baby snoozing thats titled "the artist's daughter" thats just radiating love, and also some very weird German birth certificates from a town in Pennsylvania that a man in 1771 painted mermaids and flowers and lions on
there's just something about these acts of love through art, man... they're really getting me tonight.
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You know what. I’m starting a new aesthetic, population me.
Romantic Science, AKA Dark Academia for STEM people.
Thrifting a lab coat and embroidering it with your initials and a little insignia, whose significance is known to you and your lab partner only
Watching The Theory of Everything and The Imitation Game and Hidden Figures and basically every movie about historical scientists and mathematicians you can find
Decorating your desk with old slide rules and vintage lab equipment. Your prize possession is a set of vintage lenses you found at a thrift store
Wanting an articulated human skeleton far, far too much
Getting a set of (brand new, NOT thrifted, be safe ppl) beakers to drink from, and putting them directly onto your stovetop to boil water for tea or coffee, because borosilicate glass can survive anything.
Secretly relating far too much to Henry Jekyll and Victor Frankenstein, because you too want to do a gay little science experiment that challenges god.
Thunderstorms and late nights in the lab, the light of the Bunsen burner glistening off of your flasks and scribbled chalkboard equations
Papering your walls with vintage scientific diagrams; even if you know that our understanding of the world has evolved since they were made, looking back at scientific history is amazing
Writing code late at night and feeling, in some metaphysical way, as though Ada Lovelace herself is with you in spirit
Being far, FAR too obsessed with the concept of emergent ai sentience and how it has the potential to be Frankenstein irl
Looking through a telescope on clear nights, whispering the names of the constellations and stars, painting a star chart on your ceiling in a burst of creative inspiration
Collecting and mounting samples from everywhere you can think of to pore over in an antique microscope
Bringing a field journal wherever you go, learning how to draw and label botanical samples, preserving plants and flowers for study later
Dreaming of what undiscovered mysteries lie in the deepest depths of the sea, feeling the thrill of discovery whenever you learn about a new species and one day hoping to discover one yourself
Just. Romanticise STEM.
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i want to keep a place among the rocks where no one can find me. i want to be with you
lighthousekeeping, jeanette winterson
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People Matching Artworks: An Unusual Photo Series By Stefan Draschan
People Matching Artworks: An Unusual Photo Series By Stefan Draschan More info: Website | Instagram…
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chaotic academia things that don't promote unhealthy habits
or,, things I do on a regular basis
• knowing all about different types of coffee; undertones and flavors, light and dark, how to brew them to achieve the perfect taste
• listening to music more often than not, knowing specific songs for specific moments that make you feel like you're in a great movie scene
• binging tv shows and movie series on your days off
• getting up and writing when you get that one scene in your head for your work in progress and knowing you'll forget it if you just go to bed; answering that call
• CONSUMING 5 BOOKS A WEEK LIKE A KID AGAIN
• reading all literature; good, bad, controversial, light, dark, not your genre, your favorite childhood book, etc.,,,
• gifted kid burnout....
• you either are illiterate or read moby dick in sixth grade as a joke and unironically enjoyed it
• venting on a suspiciously specific and niche discord at 4:00 am
• putting on your fanciest clothes at night when no one is awake and playing Tchaikovsky and dancing with simple ballet moves that you learned off youtube because you can't really do ballet but it's a dream of yours
• playing meme songs on a classical instrument
• you're probably on twitter idk
• mismatched socks, or those weird yoda socks your mom got you for christmas
• going on bike rides around your neighborhood when it's quiet
• getting your sweaters off of ebay
• laying in the first snow of the year, making snow angels
• planning your own murder, planning other people's murders, planning your lego murders or your sim murders or your stuffed animal murders, planning all the murders
• having a stuffed animal :)
• naming all the inanimate objects in your room, bonus points if they're literary references to your favorite books
• being really proud of that one essay you wrote in middle school that you got an A on and your teacher asked to use as an example and really you haven't written anything that good since; maybe it was your magnum opus
• hyperfixiating on any little thing. neutral, could be good or bad, borderline an obsession
• searching up corsets even though you're never going to buy one (just me? okay)
• learning the scientific names of birds
• making an impulsive buy and never using the item even though you thought you would
• reading all the books one author has written. multiple times over. an acheivement in itself
• making a fort and watching your comfort movie in it
• candles
• pirates
• starting to decorate your room purely based off of one aesthetic, realizing it's not for you, then adapting that aesthetic and making your room your own. books lined up against walls, a hello kitty plushy in the corner, a pink floyd poster on the wall, 3 pairs of vans in your closet, every single book published by wheelock's latin, it might not be dark academic but you sure call it that
• notes!! in!!! books!!!!!
• pressing flowers in your dictionary, forgetting about them, opening it up four months later and being pleasently surprised
• not smoking at all unless you know the risks idk
• naming your dog after oscar wilde but no one in your family knows (ah, also me)
• being able to stand at your bookshelf for hours and explain what each book means to you, because they all mean something, but you haven't found someone yet who will listen, so you stand alone and voice your thoughts to an empty room
• forgetting to water your plants
• rearranging your bookshelf every week
• using your academy access to articles to fuel your latest random obsession
• don't lie, you've only read one shakespeare play but you talk about him like he's your favorite author in the world and maybe he is and that's okay (er... also me)
• finding that one author that's a little bit unheard of or forgotten and them becoming your favorite author and you don't know who to share your excitement with
allowing yourself more freedom than a traditional aesthetic permits. making it your own personal version, romanticizing your life and striving for more. accepting the messy parts of you and trying to change the darkness
#dark academia#dark acadamia aesthetic#light academia#light acadamia aesthetic#chaotic aesthetic#chaotic academia#chaotic academia aesthetic#academia aesthetic#chaotic neutral#literature#books#writing#chaotic academic aesthetic#chaotic energy#academics#stem
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a short and (bitter)sweet list of quotes that haunt me
(i.e.: quotes I read a long time ago but still find myself thinking of when things are quiet)
“and when nobody wakes you up in the morning, and when nobody waits for you at night, and when you can do whatever you want. what do you call it, freedom or loneliness?” -- charles bukowski
---
“So now get up.'
Felled, dazed, silent, he has fallen; knocked full length on the cobbles of the yard. His head turns sideways; his eyes are turned toward the gate, as if someone might arrive to help him out. One blow, properly placed, could kill him now.” -- hilary mantel
---
"Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherized upon a table;" -- t.s. eliot
---
“You read something which you thought only happened to you, and you discover that it happened 100 years ago to Dostoyevsky. This is a very great liberation for the suffering, struggling person, who always thinks that he is alone. This is why art is important.” -- james baldwin
---
“I think I could stand anything, any suffering, only to be able to say and to repeat to myself every moment, 'I exist.' In thousands of agonies -- I exist. I'm tormented on the rack -- but I exist! Though I sit alone in a pillar -- I exist! I see the sun, and if I don't see the sun, I know it's there. And there's a whole life in that, in knowing that the sun is there.” -- fyodor dostoevsky
---
“Think of this - that the writer wrote alone, and the reader read alone, and they were alone with each other.” -- a.s. byatt
---
"You can’t ever be really free if you admire somebody too much, I know." -- snufkin
---
"Please linger
near the
door uncomfortably
instead of
just leaving.
Please forget
your scarf
in my
life and
come back
later for
it." -- mikko harvey
---
"Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams." -- w.b. yeats
---
"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)" -- walt whitman
---
“God’s plan is like a beautiful tapestry. And the tragedy of being human is that we only get to see it from the back. With all the ragged threads and the muddy colors. And we only get a hint at the true beauty that would be revealed if we could see the whole pattern on the other side…as God does.” -- daredevil
---
"Yeah, I think she’s using a certain type of honesty as a weapon of distraction. She talks very openly and honestly about sex so you feel like she’s being open with you when, actually, she’s completely hiding by doing that. She’s distracting you from a completely different side of her, which is the side that’s traumatized and in pain. I think in being honest to a ‘t’ about one aspect of your life, you can give the illusion that you are confiding in somebody. She’s using it to be dishonest in a different way, by hiding." -- phoebe waller-bridge
#poetry#quotes#dark academia#light academia#writing#art#dark academia books#dark acadamia aesthetic#chaotic academia#pain#trauma#sad#thoughtful#thoughts#late night thoughts#quotes that haunt me#quotes that wreck me#during quarantine I've thought a lot about that Bukowski quote#it means something very important to me#that one and the phoebe waller-bridge talking about fleabag are the two most important ones on here#snufkin#snufkin lives in my head rent free too#he started my cottagecore phase#cottagecore#freedom#loneliness#bukowski#dostoevsky#walt whitman#ts eliot
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I’ve seen a lot of curious people wanting to dive into classical music but don’t know where to start, so I have written out a list of pieces to listen to depending on mood. I’ve only put out a few, but please add more if you want to. hope this helps y’all out. :)
stereotypical delightful classical music:
battalia a 10 in d major (biber)
brandenburg concerto no. 5
brandenburg concerto no. 3
symphony no. 45 - “farewell” (haydn)
if you need to chill:
rondo alla turca
fur elise
anitra’s dance
in the steppes of central asia (borodin) (added by viola-ology)
if you need to sleep:
moonlight sonata
swan lake
corral nocturne
sleep (eric whitacre) (added by thelonecomposer)
if you need to wake up:
morning mood
summer (from the four seasons)
buckaroo holiday (if you’ve played this in orch you might end up screaming instead of waking up joyfully)
if you are feeling very proud:
pomp and circumstance
symphony no. 9 (beethoven; this is where ode to joy came from)
1812 overture
symphony no. 5, finale (tchaikovsky) (added by viola-ology)
american (dvořák)
if you feel really excited:
hoedown (copland)
bacchanale
spring (from the four seasons) (be careful, if you listen to this too much you’ll start hating it)
la gazza ladra
death and the maiden (schubert)
if you are angry and you want to take a baseball bat and start hitting a bush:
dance of the knights (from the romeo and juliet suite by prokofiev)
winter, mvt. 1 (from the four seasons)
symphony no. 10 mvt. 2 (shostakovich)
symphony no. 5 (beethoven)
totentanz (liszt)
quartet no. 8, mvt. 2 (shostakovich) (added by viola-ology)
young person’s guide to the orchestra, fugue (britten) (added by iwillsavemyworld)
symphony no. 5 mvt. 4 (shostakovich) (added by eternal-cadenza)
marche slave (tchaikovsky) (added by eternal-cadenza)
if you want to cry for a really long time:
fantasia based on russian themes (rimsky-korsakov)
adagio for strings (barber)
violin concerto in e minor (mendelssohn)
aase’s death
andante festivo
vocalise (rachmaninoff) (added by tropicalmunchakoopas)
if you want to feel like you’re on an adventure:
an american in paris (gershwin)
if you want chills:
danse macabre
russian easter overture
egmont overture (added by shayshay526)
if you want to study:
eine kleine nachtmusik
bolero (ravel)
serenade for strings (elgar)
scheherazade (rimsky-korsakov) (added by viola-ology)
pines of rome, mvt. 4 (resphigi) (added by viola-ology)
if you really want to dance:
capriccio espagnol (rimsky-korsakov)
blue danube
le cid (massenet) (added by viola-ology)
radetzky march
if you want to start bouncing in your chair:
hopak (mussorgsky)
les toreadors (from carmen suite no.1)
if you’re about to pass out and you need energy:
hungarian dance no. 1
hungarian dance no. 5
if you want to hear suspense within music:
firebird
in the hall of the mountain king
ride of the valkyries
night on bald mountain (mussorgsky) (added by viola-ology)
if you want a jazzy/classical feel:
rhapsody in blue
jazz suite no. 2 (shostakovich) (added by eternal-cadenza)
if you want to feel emotional with no explanation:
introduction and rondo capriccioso
unfinished symphony (schubert)
symphony no. 7, allegretto (beethoven) (added by viola-ology)
canon in d (pachelbel)
if you want to sit back and have a nice cup of tea:
st. paul’s suite
concerto for two violins (vivaldi)
l’arlésienne suite
concierto de aranjuez (added by tropicalmunchakoopas)
pieces that don’t really have a valid explanation:
symphony no. 40 (mozart)
cello suite no. 1 (bach)
polovtsian dances
enigma variations (elgar) (added by viola-ology)
perpetuum mobile
moto perpetuo (paganini)
pieces that just sound really cool:
scherzo tarantelle
dance of the goblins
caprice no. 24 (paganini)
new world symphony, allegro con fuoco (dvorak) (added by viola-ology)
le tombeau de couperin (added by tropicalmunchakoopas)
carnival of the animals (added by shadowraven45662)
if you feel like listening to concertos all day (I do not recommend doing that):
concerto for two violins (bach)
concerto for two violins (vivaldi)
violin concerto in a minor (vivaldi)
violin concerto (tchaikovsky) (added by iwillsavemyworld)
violin concerto in d minor (sibelius) (added by eternal-cadenza)
cello concerto in c (haydn)
piano concerto, mvt. 1 (pierne) (added by iwillsavemyworld)
harp concerto in E-flat major, mvt. 1 (added by iwillsavemyworld)
and if you really just hate classical music in general:
4′33″ (cage)
a lot of these pieces apply in multiple categories, but I sorted them by which I think they match the most. have fun exploring classical music!
also, thank you to viola-ology, iwillsavemyworld, shayshay526, eternal-cadenza, tropicalmunchakoopas, shadowraven45662, and thelonecomposer for adding on! if you would like to add on your own suggestions, please reblog and add on or message me so I can give you credit for the suggestion!
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