if you’re happy for literally any reason no matter how “small” or “stupid” you’re winning in this world as far as I can tell

I came to realise that I have the tendency to think that if I allow myself to be happy and just let go it somehow means that I’m giving up or no longer care about reaching the place I want to be at. But I think that, as difficult as it may seem, learning to be happy with your life in the present moment is what makes everything else possible. And it seems logical, doesn’t it? Happy days turn into happy years. You can’t be unhappy consistently and wait for things to suddenly switch around at a certain point. However healing and changing your thinking patterns takes time and patience. But from now on I will try to remind myself that appreciating the journey will help me reach my destination.

The goal shouldn't be success.

Let's back up a bit. Of course we wanna succeed, right? But how hard do you punish yourself for failing? And is that really beneficial and realistic to what life looks like?

The goal should be to learn. Observe, listen, analyze, educate, absorb, adapt, and survive.

How do you measure your ideal success? A career? Financial stability? A house? A car? What about your personal life? A spouse? Friends? Busy weekend plans? And how do these ideals of success line up with your reality? Your history, your mental health, your physical health, your wealth, your socio-economical status, your education? Are these ideas of success realistic for you? Or are you living up to someone else's expectations?

What do you define as failure? Is this your definition, or is this something someone else has forced you to believe about yourself? Are your definitions and ideas flexible? Are they able to bend and change as you would need them to? Or are they the literal and metaphorical rope around your neck?

Success isn't the only goal life has to offer. Your failures can be equally as beneficial if you can learn how to analyze with an open heart. Success can be measured in so many other ways than what you've been taught. Spend some time considering what it is you've been told, and ask yourself if these beliefs truly line up with how you feel about yourself and what you want out of your life.

This is your life afterall. You do absolutely get to make the rules. You get to bend and break the rules too. You get to decide what works best for you and how to make it work.

🌸

Images that you would probably not see again @thoughtstherapy

one day you think: I want to die. and then you think, very quietly: actually. actually. I think I want a coffee. a nap. a sandwich. a book. and I want to die turns day by day into want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friend, I want to sit in the sun, I want a cleaner kitchen, I want a better job, I want to live somewhere else. I want to live.

- via duckbunny

The thing about knitting is it’s much harder to fear the existential futility of all your actions while you’re doing it.

Like ok, sure, sometimes it’s hard to believe you’ve made any positive impact on the world. But it’s pretty easy to believe you’ve made a sock. Look at it. There it is. Put it on, now your foot’s warm.

Checkmate, nihilism.

Battling Depression

Battling depression isn't about if you can or if you can't. It isn't about waiting for your motivation to sprout back someday. You can do it, your motivation needs to be sowed and tended to and cared for properly.

If you don't have the energy to get up, find it in yourself to move your limbs around while you wake up. It'll take a bit, but it'll physically be easier to peel yourself out of bed.

If you don't have the energy to shower, find it in yourself to wash your face and hands.

If you don't have the energy to do laundry, find it in yourself to just toss in one or two outfits.

If you don't have the energy to clean the room, find it in yourself to pick up little things you know what to do with before you even think about it. Things like trash or trinkets that go on shelves.

If you don't have the energy to take out the trash, find it in yourself to tie off the old bag and set it aside to replace a new one. You can bring it out on your way to work or school the next day.

You'll make progress, slowly, and you won't realize. One day you'll look in the mirror while you're washing your face and go, "I want to wash my hair," so you'll get in the shower. Washing your hair will turn into standing under the warmth of the water because you won't remember how much you missed it. It'll turn into remembering the warmth you can give yourself. You'll wash your hair, and you'll finally have it in you to wash your whole body with it.

You'll be grabbing your one or two outfits and say, "wow, my other clothes haven't been worn in awhile. I can throw in a few more things," and you'll do your first full load of laundry since it got bad.

You'll look at how much cleaner that room is when some of the trash and trinkets are out of the way, and you'll want to know how nice it'll look when it's done. You'll get that room clean, it might take a few days, but you will.

You'll be tying off that trash bag someday, and you'll think how short of a walk it is to get it to the door. You'll finally bring it outside before you replace the bag.

One day, you will look in the mirror again, and you will see a person, I promise, as long as you don't give up.

This is your reminder that you don’t need anything fancy to make a good day. Just a soothing shower, a nice meal, and a little fun activity. Don’t overlook the little nice things in life. They’re right in front of you. you just have to be the one to notice them. It’s your first time experiencing today: let it be fun and enthusiastic!!! It’s your first time being the self that you are today— i’m so excited for you!!! I love you so much <3

I couldn't fit all my thoughts in the comic without being a wall of text, but I did want to expand a little more! If a thought isn't serving you, sometimes labeling it as "unhelpful" can encourage you to pay less attention to it. Maybe you still believe it, but knowing it's unhelpful can help you push it aside. I also find labeling a helpful tool for organizing my thoughts, instead of letting them all swirl together. I hope this can help you too! ❤️

Chibird store | Positive pin club | Instagram

and very, very often, self care is not plants and ice rollers and fluffy blankets of peace.

it’s standing over your kitchen sink and crying while doing the dishes because you just want to go back to bed but the dishes need done. and you don’t know why you’re crying but you're trusting you need it. and you aren’t listening to the music that pulls you into a spiral; you’re listening to some cheerful shit your friend sent you. it’s getting up and staring at your fridge and closing your eyes and then cooking yourself food even though you hate it and it’s miserable. because you know that you’d cook for your friend, and you are trying to befriend yourself. it’s dragging yourself into the shower because you know you’ll feel better afterwards. it’s doing mundane tasks with patience, cursing under your breath, trying desperately to give yourself grace. grace is the beginning of care. care is the beginning of love.

we think it’s supposed to be peace and yet the most powerful self care moments are when we hate everything but especially ourselves. and life does not feel worth the loving. to look into that pain and yet choose to care for yourself in however many pieces you are — that is care. love. grace. trust. belief. it hurts because it’s love where there was no love before. it heals because it believes there will be love, one day, soon.

Liz Fosslien  

Self-care Sunday: Does anyone else feel like they need more concrete instructions than "just let go" of intrusive thoughts? Hunter Clark-Fields (author of Raising Good Humans) explains that the reason labeling thoughts works to help let them go is because the process activates the prefrontal cortex---the part of the brain responsible for logic, reason, and decision-making, i.e. the part of the brain that's good at focusing and setting emotions aside. It's been really helpful in my meditation practice to notice where my thoughts go, give them a label, and find it easier to refocus on the present. Labeling thoughts isn't just helpful during meditation! It's a useful practice at any time of day when you notice unwanted thoughts cropping up. The key is in the noticing.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but if you wish you were interested in something (a hobby, a topic, a subject), then let me tell you... YOU ARE ALLOWED TO BE INTERESTED IN IT. Just because you don't own a collection of books about something, don't know much about it, and haven't liked it until like literally this second, doesn't mean your interest isn't valid.

Interests aren't meant to be performances. You can like anything you want, and you can decide whether you are interested in something. Be free little cupcake.

Let your bad thoughts be bad thoughts and your bad feelings be bad feelings. Let "I feel so worthless right now" turn into "I want to do something that'll make me feel better" instead of "the fact that I feel worthless must mean that I am". There is so much power in actively refusing to tie negativity to the way you see yourself, without ignoring it altogether.

good things to pay attention to more often

the color of trees

clouds and how they look different throughout the day

the different colors the mornings can have. sometimes it's an orange hue and sometimes pink and sometimes it's too misty to tell

pretty color schemes in random places (the trees and your neighbors wooden patio and the color of their car)

the states of the vehicles passing you by, dents and scratches and the different trinkets suspended from their rearview mirrors

the sound of silence

the shadows the lights cast in your home, like how sunset looks different than sunrise, and the shadows the sun casts look different than those of your lamps and candles

pretty details in buildings and houses like certain types of windows or doorknobs or archways

the movement of things in the wind. flags, leaves, flowers, people's hair and coats