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meetingmuppets · 7 years

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CATFISH BLOG

“If they seem too good to be true they probably are”

The meaning of Catfish

Wikipedia

lure (someone) into a relationship by adopting a fictional online persona.

BLOG

So, I decided a few weeks ago to dip my toe back in pond of the dating world, I‘d had a 6 month break, done a lot in that time, joined diverse social groups, learnt African dancing, Drumming, Kizomba, Meditation, all kinds of weird stuff really, Met lots of great new people and did lots of socialising but never came close to meeting that special someone. I‘d had the time to get over the trauma of last year’s dating and was ready to throw caution to the wind,

Unfortunately, what started as a dipping my toe in the pond turned into the biggest Tsunami dating disaster I ‘ve ever had, I found the worst type of guy no woman should ever have to experience, to sum it up in one word I met “ CATFISH’

As I am writing this blog there are some common words I know I am likely to use and In order to make reading this blog easier I am putting some abbreviations in place for these words to stop repetition

CF The guy (never got his real name so I will just call him CF – Catfish)

AB Absolute Bollocks -referring to most stories he told me

ABR Alarms Bells ringing

PAP Psychotic and Paranoid – referring to me and my frame of mind ie whenever I questioned his stories which were not adding up I was made to feel like I was crazy, and was imagining everything. :”Babe why you being so paranoid and negative, you need to chill… “

Anyway I found this guy on Tinder (oh no not Tinder I hear you moan) Yes Tinder, Advantages – free, quick and easy to use, Disadvantages – a hunting ground for catfish, you can float around in cyberspace with no digital footprint so hard for anyone to catch you if you are on there for anything other than a relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that Tinder is also used as a cheap hook up at the end of the night, based on finding someone in close proximity to you. I do not judge anyone who is into extra marital affairs. What does piss me off in the dating world is not declaring what you are on the site for (or downright lying that you are single and after a relationship which is clearly not the case.) Like for example POF (Plenty of Fish) you can opt for a Relationship or admit you are not after a Relationship – just after a bit of fun. It easy, just click the option you want.

As long as you are open and honest that’s fine. But when you are lying about your situation and making out you are single when you are actually married that’s when it becomes a nightmare for the other person, who is using the site for serious purpose.

So back to my CF story.

I noticed since I last used Tinder there was now a new added feature to help you find someone quicker rather than having to go through the cumbersome process of getting a Match. THE SUPERLIKE BUTTON

Just to explain a bit about SUPERLIKE, if you know about Tinder, you will know that if you like the look of someone’s profile you swipe left and if you no likey you swipe right. However the Match process only happens if that person also sees your profile and happens to swipe left also. It can take weeks for that to happen, it may never happen and I don’t have time to wait around! However, the Super Like button bypasses all of that waiting game. If you Super Like someone, they get an instant notification, they see your profile and if they accept you, IT’S A MATCH Get your coat lad you’ve pulled!!

You only get one SuperLike a day, you can pay for more if you want, but believe you me, with the PondLife you get on Tinder, one Superlike a day is more than enough. I decided to use my Superlike Power when I did surprisingly find a guy I liked the look of. Hit the button and yippee within 10 minutes he liked me back, we had a Match.

Indeed The Superlike button has great powers, but with great powers comes great responsibility

I opened his message to a very excited ‘I am so happy that you have chosen me, I have read your profile and you seem the perfect kind of woman I am after’…!!

Well that was flattering,

I responded and we swapped numbers and started to text, they was a lot of banter and I decided he had passed the first test (the Text Banter) and we started to discuss meeting up for the FIRST DATE.

I must admit I do not have time to text and email guys for weeks and weeks, I prefer to just arrange a meet up pretty quickly and decide over a quick drink if I like them or not. Which is probably my downfall as I do not research the person I intend to meet or ask many questions. As long as they have a decent job, and can make me lol on a text message that’s about the only criteria I need initially.

Anyway the date was set up that weekend, a Saturday afternoon in a beer garden. I got there first got myself a glass of wine and when he turned up I was not disappointed, nice to look at, Well dressed, easy on the eye, Dapper clothing, Tick, Tick Tick.

We chatted about a lot of interesting topics, he told me about his job, he was a trainee solicitor for Immigrants. He helped people stay in the country who arrived here with no paperwork from war torn countries.

Said he found his job very rewarding.

Spoke about his high morals and that he would never go out and sleep around with different women, his church values would not allow it. He was a one woman man.

He then had to cut the date short because he said he had a church meeting in his local community about supporting immigrants. (BTW All of the above turned out to be AB)

I did query before he left the fact he had De-matched me on Tinder pretty quickly which was a bit strange. The ‘De- Match button’ is when you are matched with someone but then change your mind. By ‘De matching them’ you are throwing them back into Cyber space so you are not connected anymore on Tinder and it’s a strange thing to do if you are planning a date with someone. You tend to keep them there, as a sweet reminder of how lucky you were in the first place to be matched with that person.

He said that he had 14 other Superlikes on Tinder (That is a lot – I get 1 Superlike a year) and all the women’s profiles were cluttering up his inbox. And he decided he liked me the best out of all of them, and wanted to see me, so he did not need them anymore.

I left my date feeling quite uplifted, but also sensing this guy may not be all he seems. Did I really believe he had deleted 14 Superlikes (including mine) before he even met me??

Anyway, having both accepted the first date was a success, the second date was set for a drink and meal the week after at my local. He came to my house first of all with a present, 2 bottles of my favourite Red Wine, he certainly knew how to impress. I did pour out a lot of my insecurities to him as well as the wine, my previous dating disasters, men promising everything but giving nothing, the ghosting horrors. He said he would never ghost Me, that he could see us together in a year and if anyone was going to end it, it would be me. That he could really see us in a long term relationship.

WARNING

“ If they say that they care about you and they act like things are getting serious after only a short amount of time, you might just have met a catfish”

When we later had a meal, he did mention he had a bad and serious allergy to prawns, I joked that if he wronged me I would come to his house and sew prawns in his curtains.

By 11pm the date was ready to end, and at this point he mentioned ringing a taxi to see his brother (ABR).

At this point I immediately sensed he was lying I mean why would you have to meet up with your brother or to go to his house at this time of night???. I tried not to be PAP and instead joked about the fact he was going to meet another woman

Being a polite host I then offered to ring him an UBER which he accepted.

Now my main reason here apart from the fact I love the UBER magic of a taxi turning up within 1 minute of ordering it, is because UBER tracks the journey and saves you a record of the exact journey taken. (I am not sure he knew this, so this was to my advantage). If he was lying to me as to his whereabouts I was going to find out.

When he got in the taxi I poured a glass of wine, and sat down to watch his journey home, SAD I know, but I wanted to see if he was really going to the place he said he was going. The taxi ride home took about `10 minutes and did go to the area he said, although I am pretty sure at some point there was 3 minutes stop at the University.

That was a bit strange, had he picked someone up another woman perhaps???? (PAP).

Reassured myself it was just the bottle of wine making me a bit squiffy, as soon as he got out the taxi (Yep you can even tell that) he text me to say goodnight and rest assured there is no woman here. All ok, went to bed feeling relatively happy.

What a difference 24 hours makes.

Saturday

I woke up the next day and looked at my phone. Now for the past week or two CF normally sent a good morning Text but there was nothing. Never mind, sure he is still in bed I thought I went to Whatsapp to text him good morning. Half an hour later I went to check he had got my message to see it only showed one grey tick (undelivered) which was strange, he tended to respond really quickly. In addition his timestamp and picture had gone.

I did not panic too much as sometime I remove my timestamp if I don’t want to get back to people quickly but I still felt uneasy. Had he blocked me? Surely not. . ???

Just to make sure I was not blocked I called him, he picked up straight away and said he was sleepy and I would call me back. I did question ‘Have you blocked me on WHATSAPP??”. Did not want to sound PAP but felt the need to ask. He assured me he had not blocked me “No, I do not have Wifi here that is all, I am not online I will call you as soon as I get up”

17:00 I had still not heard, and I was really feeling a bit annoyed. There was something not right here, call it my instincts I just knew. My jovial morning message was still not delivered and according to ‘4 steps as to how to tell if you are defo blocked on WHATSAPP’, I was 90% blocked.

I decide to confront my fear, I text him and said “There is something not right here and I know you have blocked me, I have a really bad feeling about this”

Two minutes later he called, assured me again he still did not have WI FI and had not blocked me.

Said he knew I was going out that evening and that was why he had not called. I was not really convinced but I was getting ready to go out and just decided to put my PAP thoughts behind me and enjoy my evening. He even text me saying “stop being so negative about this, lol you are so paranoid”

Sunday

By Sunday afternoon I was getting really annoyed. More Google Searches about ‘How to know if you are blocked on WHATSAPP were carried out with an additional test you can do to prove 101% if you are blocked (I was 101% blocked) I get a flashing message from Google now– Hey - accept it GAL you ARE SOO BLOCKED, get over it and move on.

And now my phone calls to him were going straight to voice mail.

Leading to more Google searches ‘How do I know if someone has blocked my calls “If it rings only once and goes straight to voicemail you could be blocked”

The test to check this for certain– ring immediately after from another different phone and if it rings as normal then that will prove you are 100% blocked.

I did the TEST and now know that I am 100% blocked from calls !!!.???

Hours and hours of Google and Quora searches about whether or not I am blocked from calls and messages were started to take their toll.

By Sunday evening I was tired, confused and at the end of my tether. I wearily sent him a text, ‘I’ve had enough, you are lying to me, I don’t want to see you anymore”

CF- “Well you certainly made your mind up about me, I told you that you would be the one to end it “

Me (annoyed at his smugness) Texting – “You were obviously fully aware of how untrustworthy you are and knew you would let me down”.

Me - Looking up at the unfinished bottle of RED WINE

Texting back “And the irony of this “The bottle of Wine has lasted longer that you have “

CF - LOL

Monday,

Spent morning feeling a bit miserable about the fact it was over, without me even knowing the truth.

11.00 - WHATSAPP text appears suddenly his profile and time stamp are all back. He asks if we can talk. I agree (not sure why) and when he calls later he says again that I am imagining it all and being paranoid.

And still insisting he has no reason to block me. That he reinstalls his WHATSAPP for certain reasons and that must be causing the problems. I argued my point and all my research on WHATSAPP and the 4 ways to discover you are blocked, to which he says ‘What are you, an FBI agent or something??”

For the next two hours I start to question my own sanity, maybe I wasn’t blocked, maybe his ex- girlfriend has synced his computer and is messing with his head, maybe there is a WHATSAPP fault just between our two phones that is causing this ????

15.00 I check my WHATSAPP again and cannot believe it

He has blocked me again.

17.00 I wanted the truth now, CODE RED. I was not going to rest until I get it.

I decide to ring him but know I am blocked. Another Google search -How to adjust my phone settings so he does not know it is me calling.

It shows me a video how to hide my profile ID so when it called him it says private number.

I did this and make the call, and he immediately picks up (GOTCHA)

When I say ‘Hi its me’ I can tell he is not sure who he is speaking to, his brain was frantically trying to work out which out his 14 Tinder Matches he was dealing with.

I could hear music in the background from his TV but he started spluttering he was in a shop and could not speak, muttered some rubbish about trying to call me all day and would call me back when he got home. The lines goes dead.

Right, am done with this, I am really angry, the fear in his voice when I called confirmed there was a secret here. I will use my own detective skills to work out what the hell is happening.

I go through my phone and all the pictures he had sent me to try and get some clues about him. When we first matched, he sent me about 20 pictures of himself, some pictures are beside his house some are beside his car (of which I can partly see the registration plate). Along with the address from UBER I am pretty sure I can find this man, hunt him down and expose the truth. I start to get excited, I know what I can do, I can buy some prawns, find his street his car and dump them all around it. I have a long conversation about this with my friend, who seeing me on the verge of a meltdown says she will get her boyfriend to drive me there.

I then worry this may be extreme, I don’t want the police involved after all.

And then I have another idea, I think back to our conversations and remember he told me the club hangs out most weekends, it is in a certain area of Leeds and it’s a club one of my girlfriend goes to, maybe if I send her his pic she will recognise him?? Lightbulb moment

I send her a text

Me “Hey how you doing, I think I ve been CATfished and there is a chance you may know him, he goes to the same club as you, if I send you his Pic can you have a look?”

Her: OMG did he take your money?

Me “God NO” (you can have a go at taking my heart and my mind but I am a Yorkshire girl, you aint getting my money that’s for sure)

Her “Ok send me the pic”

I then sent her one pic to identify him and as I was about to send her picture no 2 in case picture number 1 was not clear enough I could see her typing back, Message flashes up :

YEAH I know him

OMG I was about to get my answers,

I nervously rang her and told her I had been dating him

Is he single I asked – “No he is married ” (Bugger, slightly freaked out at this point, but to be honest I not overly surprised)

Is he a Solicitor I asked, “No he is unemployed” she laughs (I am quite upset about this revelation. More so than being married, all those conversations about those immigrants he saved and text messages saying he was at the Crown Court defending them (AB)

Does he have a Car? I ask, - No that must be his wife’s car.

Is his name “CF” “No that’s not his name “she said.

Does he live in LS….. I ask, NO he lives in LS….. (the address she confirms where he lives is the address I have got him the UBER too)

With a sinking feeling I realised my £8.50 taxi fare had taken him back to his marital home

Apart from being shocked and sickened by my new found knowledge I also felt slightly euphoric. I had managed to get all my answers without even leaving the house, I did not have to get my friends boyfriend to drive me round his estate whilst I wear a headscarf and dark glasses and then sprinkle prawns all around his car, trying to avoid any CCTV. I had brought him down in 48 hours, years of guys lying to me was finally starting to pay off, I now knew the signs and how to reel them in.

Lady Detective Agency here I come. YEAH

So what do I now do with my new found knowledge?

I decided immediately I wanted him to know that I knew. To make him sweat a bit that I had knowledge that could damage him.

Still feeling slightly euphoric and well as a bit nervous, I decided to leave a voice message

When it clicked to Voice Mail my message started, (I really should have prepared more for this.)

I had not meant it to sound threatening but it went into a creepy and strange Liam Neeson mode ( I know who you are, I know where you live and when I find you I will….) No, I did not want to threaten him, he knows where I live after all.

So half way through I changed my tone to a more upbeat and preppy, ‘I do not intend to take this further, you disgust me and I just feel sorry for your wife’ I HANG UP.

I slept really well that night, there is something about knowing you were right all along that fills you with a sense of calmness, all my worry about the fact I was turning into a PAP girlfriend was not the case, I was right all along.

CF did call me the next day, no doubt having received my strange voice message. I picked up quite intrigued as to how he was going to worm his way out of this one and if he was bricking it a bit, WHAT DO YOU WANT I said? In my creepy voice.

There was an uncomfortable pause as he cleared his throat.

“Errmmm”, I just wondered, he said, “If your new found knowledge has changed our friendship/relationship””????!!!!!!!

OMG was he frigging kidding me “You mean the fact you are married and unemployed “ I retorted???”

After a few expletives, I confirmed I wanted nothing more to do with him.

He then said he was disappointed that I had sent his private photos on to other people, said he found that very disrespectful!!!!! That he would never disrespect me by showing my photos around. (So I am the one disrespecting him now!!!!???))) How do guys have a habit of turning things around when they are in the wrong, making us to be the bad guy????????.

I mean Dude- you disrespected me the moment you put your dodgy Catfish Profile out there and then accepted my Tinder request. I thought I was seeing a single solicitor, I had in fact met an unemployed, married, sick Fantasist.

After a few long awkward pause it then got to point where there was nothing left for either of us to say and I just told him he disgusted me and hung up.

I have not heard from CF since, but I did feel worried about the 14 other Tinder Matches he was involved with, they should not have to go through this. I feel a need to protect them.

I decided to send a strong worded email to Tinder about the type of men that are using their website and gave as many accurate details about him as I could. (Well his phone number which was about the only thing that I did have on him, that was not false) I also had his Postcode thanks to UBER.

To be fair Tinder did take it seriously and said they would launch a full investigation. 24 hours later they confirmed they had dealt with it, but for privacy reasons they could not disclose what happened. I have no idea what they did, hoping they took him down and took action to ensure he does not prowl on their site again.

Moral of this story – apart from the fact there are many dishonest people on these websites, always trust your gut instincts, if something does not feel right, there is a good chance that it is not. If a relationship seems hard work in the very early stages, it is probably not meant to be.

“If it walks like a Duck and Quacks like a Duck, it is a Duck.”

I did read last year about a woman who wanted to make Catfishing illegal having been involved with a married man for over a year who was in fact leading a double life.

At the time I found this amusing but I do see now how woman can deem this act to be a crime, you are left feeling very raw and violated.

You can just as easily meet a guy in the outside world who lies and cheats, you can hardly make it a crime, where does one draw the line?

Maybe Dating websites should have more controls in place to prevent people lying on their site in the first place, getting them to fill in some kind of honesty disclaimer, and making it very clear that there is a report button is anyone abuses the intentions of site. Persuading people to be honest about what they are after rather than tricking people. We need to take more action to make it harder for these douch-bags to get onto these sites in the first place.

In the meantime I will carry on with the dating lark I will not be defeated by my Catfish. You will not break me, “Come and have another go guys if you think you are hard enough”…..

I now have the skill and experience to bring you down in 48 hours, I may not tell you wife, but you can be 100% guaranteed that a very uncomfortable voice message and then an even more uncomfortable blog may be coming your way…….

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meetingmuppets · 8 years

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BLOG 6 Sociopaths and Narcissists.

BLOG 6

Sociopaths and Narcissists.

Sociopaths

A Sociopath. A sociopath is typically defined as someone who lies incessantly to get their way and does so with little concern for others. A sociopath is often goal-oriented (i.e., lying is focused—it is done to get one's way). Sociopaths have little regard or respect for the rights and feelings of others.

I was involved in a Sociopath a couple of years ago. I did not know he was a Sociopath until I read an article, ‘16 signs that someone is a Sociopath’, he ticked every box, I was convinced. It seems easier for me to put a label to him rather than constantly trying to decipher why he did the things he did. At least in my head knowing he is a Sociopath I no longer question the way he acted because now it all makes sense.

Clear signs of a Sociopath.

Sociopaths are described as extremely charming, eloquent and seductive. They can blend into society quite easily and are generally considered to be nice people. Their image is important to them, they like to come across as having a ‘whiter than white’ character.

A Sociopath will probably do something dramatic to get your attention, bombard you with complimentary messages, flatter you, beg to meet you. If a guy seems keen to get into a relationship with you in haste without knowing you that much, be warned, this is how they start their game. And it is a game. It’s the biggest game of psychologically warfare I have ever played. This is not for the faint hearted.

For the first few weeks they will charm you and sweep you off your feet. It is like a perfect romance. They know the right things to say and do to keep your attention. Believe you me this is a form of art they have done this many times before. Like a moth to a flame I was drawn in, intrigued, a little infatuated. But all too soon, things did not quite add up.

Pathological liars

Smell the Bullshit. Taste the Bullshit

S/P are masters of influence and deception.

They tell a lot of lies, it is something they do with such conviction that it gets to a point they start to believe their own lies which is why they are so convincing. Sociopaths are never allowed to take a lie detector test if they commit a crime, they will beat the lie detector even.

If you catch them out with a lie they will tell an ever bigger one to cover up the first one In fact never tell a S/P you know they are lying. You will be attacked for questioning their integrity.

All too soon their mask of sanity will start to slip. At some point when you have a slight disagreement with them they will turn on you, verbally abuse you and try to knock your confidence. This is to feed their own alter ego. They are sadistic by nature and enjoying upsetting you. There is no logic whatsoever for why they are angry. Overnight, Jekyll becomes Hyde, you see that a Monster lies beneath.

Their point of view in the argument can be total nonsense but arguing with a S/P is a waste of time. They will never blame themselves and will never see your point of view. They are not rational people.

Promiscuous and Cheats

S/P get bored easily, they are promiscuous and move round from victim to victim, using them for whatever they can get. They have an animal instinct and are incapable of real emotion. They tend to leave a trail of devastation wherever they go.

Because these guys are such charmers, we tend to let them back into our lives, give them more chances in the hope we can change them, Be warned, by allowing them back in your life you are only giving them the opportunity to knock you down again.

I note that when my friends discuss their Toxic Exes they cannot always bring themselves to say their names. My sister just refers to her Ex as ‘ KNOBHEAD' ‘

It’s a name that suits him well, I cant even remember his real name now. The reason why we cannot bring ourselves to say their names is because in doing so we are personifying them, making then human, which they are not. So on the rare occasions we speak about our evil exes we would rather refer to them as 'Twatface, Knobhead or Evil fucker'.

One of my friends having been in a Toxic on and off relationship for many years said to me afterwards, “How can I have been so stupid??’ Believe you me, stupidity does not come into it, Women are hopeless romantics, we think we can change these guys, mould them, get them back on the right path. We try to change our own standards, work with them not against them in the hope we may get a glimmer of the person we first met at the start, the one who made us feel special.

Forget it, that person we met at the start is long gone, in fact that person never existed in the first place, it was a false persona they adopted to get your attention. You will never change them as they do not realise anything is wrong with them.

Moving on from a S/P can be difficult. When you meet someone nice and normal it can be strange. You may even find someone who is honest and respectful a bit boring, You are so used to being in a game of psychological warfare that going back to normality just feels odd.

We never come out of these relationships feeling the Winner. It is impossible to win, we are playing against someone who does not give a damn. We just come out of these relationships feeling confused and upset that we signed up for one person and then met another. That we were totally Duped. We can however take solace from the fact we will move on to more meaningful and happier relationships. Most of my friends already have, The S/P will just go back to his cave, seek out his next victim and Press Play. His Game starts again…..

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meetingmuppets · 8 years

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meetingmuppets · 8 years

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GHOSTING

BLOG 5

So when I first told my work colleague about how I was Ghosted, I could not help but notice that my Supervisor who had obviously overheard was sniggering to himself in the corner, finding it quite amusing. I kind of gathered from his expression we were not on the same page here so I asked him

“ Do you know what Ghosting Means?” “Of course he said, it is something you do on the toilet”.

NOT!!

Just to clarify in the dating world Ghosting is not a toilet activity, it’s a serious term commonly used when you get dumped, but the spineless git who dumps you does not have the guts to actually tell you.

As described by Wikipedia Ghosting refers to the act of breaking off a relationship (often used in the context of intimate relationships) by ceasing all communication and contact with the former partner without any apparent warning or justification, as well as avoiding and/or ignoring and refusing to respond in any way to the former partner’s attempts to reach out or communicate.

THE GHOSTER

So I met ‘JO’ online a couple of years ago, we met on Tinder, first date went ok and we carried on seeing each other for a few more months. I remember exactly when the Ghosting happened, it was New Year’s Day.

I was out with my girlfriends New Year’s Eve and the plan was to see him the following evening. When I spoke to him 11.00pm New Year’s Eve he seemed fine, was out in Manchester with friends, nothing to suggest he did not want to see me anymore or that anything untoward was about to happen. On New Year’s Day I called him in the morning and from memory he did sound quite distant and cold, but nothing that gave me cause for concern. The plan for New Year’s Day was that he would drive over to mine.

Around 3pm I started to text him to see if he had left Manchester and what time he would be over. I had not heard from him by 4pm so at that point I started to call him. He did not pick up. I was not too worried at this point he could be driving. But by 6pm when I had not heard from him I did start to feel concerned. I think I knew at this point it was not looking good, but until you receive the official confirmation from someone that it is over, then you keep thinking there must be another reason why they are ignoring you.

When someone ‘ghosts’ you it sets off all kind of paranoia. You just want to know what is going on and to hear them tell you. Had he sent me a text saying “sorry I can’t make tonight”, and then just finished it by text, I would have accepted it. I probably would have wanted to talk it out face to face get the closure that most of us need but I guess in this day and age being dumped by text is quite normal. Am guessing for the ‘Ghoster’, they do not want to have the face to face contact so it’s easier just to pretend you don’t exist. But for the ‘Ghostee’, when someone stops all contact and blatantly ignores you it drives you to the brink

At first I started to think, errrm, maybe he has been in a car crash and has not seen my messages???. There has to be a plausible reason for why he is not responding. Yes that makes sense!! He s defo been in a car accident. His phone flew out the window and is covered in mud, in a ditch. Poor guy hope he' s ok and not in a coma or anything.

I re-check my phone

DAMN the two blue ticks on ‘WHATSAPP’ confirm they have been read, he was not seriously ill or lying in hospital, he had read my messages and had been online an ago hour. At this point the thought of him lying wounded in hospital and his phone covered in mud in the ditch was the preferred option.

As the evening wore on I started to realise I was being blanked here, it was a strange feeling, Without any text or call from someone how do you accept the end of a relationship. You have no idea what happened or what you did wrong?. Maybe after one date its fine, but not after 3 months.

How do you accept that the person who only he day before was your friend, no longer wants anything to do with you??

When Paranoia kicks in

When someone 'ghosts' you it sets off all kind of paranoia. Your mind goes through everything that has gone on, to get to the crux of the reason.

I started to panic that maybe when I was out with my friends the night before I accidently called him when I was drunk and it went to voice mail and recorded myself talking. And possibly he overheard a drunken conversation I had had with my friends about him. I checked my phone, looked at my call logs for outgoing calls made but that all appeared to be fine. Done nothing wrong in that respect. Strange , So must be down to him then.

Maybe he did something so bad last night that he just could not bear to face me because of all the guilt he was feeling. So, he was fine on New Year’s Eve, so something had happened between New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. Maybe he had got drunk and …….. Yes that had to be it, he had done the dirty on me. He had picked up some slapper in Manchester and laden with guilt. he could not possible face me. So now I just needed to get the truth, But how could I do this???

I KNOW, FACEBOOK!!! STALKERS PARADISE!!

We were friends on FB maybe a friend had posted pictures and I would find one with a girl, draped all over him Yes, that would explain it all only Facebook could help me now. As I logged onto my phone and scrolled to his page I was confused, pretty sure his page was full of pictures last night, where had they all gone. Only 2 pictures from 2 years ago were showing him with his little boy, these were no good to me. The truth then dawned on me. As I looked nervously to the top of his page to the ADD friend button it was greyed out. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I had been

DEFRIENDED,!!!!!.

Not only ‘Ghosted’ but now

DEFRIENDED

I could not take this I really could not. Now at this point what would most people do????. Is it really fair to let the person get away with this awful crime, I mean do we just crawl away and let them get away with it??? Or do we turn into a demented bunny boiler and fire off text after text begging them to tell us what went wrong. Let all dignity and self-respect fly out of the window.

As you can probably tell I chose the latter.

For the next week or so my crazy messages started, ‘Please talk to me’ ‘why are you ignoring me?’, ‘I need a reason’,’ just type me a sentence to explain what happened and I’ll leave you alone I promise’ ‘Did you meet someone else???, Who is that girl on FB who liked my pic of you recently???, Are you with her, are you SEEING HER NOW. ???’

Why didn’t he just block me at this point???? I wish he had of done, I really do. My demented wailing messages went on for a good week, I even dragged my friend for coffee sat her down and made her watch the Ghosting event in action so she could see exactly what it was like

I would text him, we would watch the online status appear, the ticks turned blue, but the status never turned to ‘typing’.

After a week I realised I had to stop. I was never going to get a reason I was never going to get my closure. I just left it at that pretty confused that in this day and age people could do this and get away with it. I got over him pretty quick to be fair, looking back I was not even into him that much, I just wanted a relationship and he came along at the right time.

In fact after my 1 week mental breakdown I never thought of him again, Funnily enough 6 months later I got a flirty message from my ‘Ghoster’. He seemed to have forgotten what he had done 6 months ago. Given that he never had the guts to finish it, maybe in a parallel universe we were still going out together.

I read his message with annoyance that he thought after treating me this way he expected that I would be pleased to hear from him, Defo not the case, I ‘Ghosted’ him back and blocked him on WHATSAPP. A few months later he sent another flirt text via Instagram, I ‘Ghosted’ and blocked him again. (I did not even know Instagram had Direct Messenger) A few months later another message on Facebook. ‘HI xx”

Ok so I am fed up’ Ghosting’ you now, this is boring, in my world I prefer to tell you exactly what I am feeling. I decide to put my thoughts out there, So I message back:

“GO AWAY , WHY DO YOU THINK I WANT TO TALK TO YOU??? I HAVE NO INTEREST IN YOU ANYMORE, YOU LOSER, I M DONE WITH YOU “ ….Message SENT :

Feel quite smug now. The ball is now in my court. I have come out the winner, back of the net ,high five to me.

I will never understand the ‘Ghosting’ phenomena, it really is like a paranormal experience and if anyone has done it to someone else I would be keen to know your reasons. Whilst getting dumped by text is not great I would rather have a text with a reason in contrast to someone just ignoring me. Maybe you could get away with it in the sixties when the other person has no means of contacting you, unless ringing your landline phone or coming to your house, but in this day and age surely you must realise the other person is going to get in touch by some form of social media to get the truth. It is not going to be pleasant for either of us so

just “#

MANUPYOUSPINLESSNOBALLSGIT

”and finish it properly. @

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meetingmuppets · 8 years

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meetingmuppets · 8 years

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BLOG 4

WORST DATE EVER

BEST NOT TO SHARE THIS ONE!

My worst date ever happened this summer, having split up with someone in February I decide to take the leap of faith and get back in the saddle again. Up until now I had never really had an awful date, they had always been ok, even if they never went to the second date. And this is because I always had my golden rule in place. And on this particular occasion I forgot to use it.

The golden rule on a first date,

There is one rule I always apply to the first date which ensures it does not over-run and that you can leave at any time without seeming rude. This rule protects you from having to sit for hours on a ‘Date from Hell’ with no plausible excuse to escape. And it is easy, all you do is make sure you have a leaving excuse in place before the date. By this I Mean….

Suggest meeting your date on a work night, you then make it clear before the date ‘I can meet for 1 -2 drinks however I have a presentation to do the following morning and really need to get home in time to prepare for it’ Put a cap on the time you are prepared to meet them so when that time is up you can go without it being an issue.

My friend years ago went through a period of a different date every week (this went on for a good few months). She always made a rule from the start that no matter how good the date was, it would only last for 1 hour and after that 1 hour that was it, the date would self- destruct and she would leave. She made the other party aware of this, even put a watch on the table to monitor when the time is up.

This to me is a good idea, a first date is a meet and greet only, and it should not go on for too long. Especially if alcohol is involved. Of course if you do really click and get on and both seem happy to stay out together, that’s fine the golden rule can be abandoned. But you always have to have it there from the start as a precaution.

If you do not have the above rule in place and you want a quick get out clause it can be a difficult one. I mean you could try the emergency phone call, (You know the one where the friend rings, says something really bad has happened and you need to get home ASAP.)

But that makes it so obvious and unless they are nasty or obnoxious it is cruel to do that to someone. They are only human after all. So I would advise always to have the golden rule in place, even if just a precaution.

The Date

So for this potential date, his online pic looked ok and his profile read fine. He said he spoke fluent Spanish so at least I thought that would be a topic of conversation, (he must have some intelligence to speak a foreign language) I know a ‘Poco de Espanol’ myself and enjoy travelling, which he said he did also, so thought that at least we have these 2 things in common.

So we exchanged a few messages, I went with my instinct and a date was arranged within a matter of days. By this point I felt that having had plenty of dates before it would be fine, I had never had a disastrous date before and that particular Sunday we agreed to meet it was forecast to be a hot day. I did not think I needed to put the rule in place because when it’s sunny and alcohol is involved, how bad could it be?? I arrogantly abandoned the rule.

So I got to the bar first and waited in the beer garden with my glass of wine.

10 minutes later my date arrived. Facially he looked ok, I was not put off yet, clothes wise, errmm, a bit creased and dishevelled. I think that in his part time job as a doorman he had possible just left work got straight in his car and drove here. He was not from Leeds he was from Hull, even though his profile said Leeds (he had just not updated it since he moved) Had I know that before I may not have gone ahead with the date, I don’t drive myself, so anywhere that’s further than a 20 minute taxi or bus ride is a ‘Long distance relationship’ for me.

He sat down with the wine bottle and two glasses and in the first few seconds I was immediately put off. The 9 second rule kicked in.

Now, I am not ashamed to admit I am a bit of a wine snob, I do like a nice Sauvignon/Pinot Grigio (as opposed to a Rose Blossom Hill) and for me wine is something to be enjoyed and savoured.

It was the way he held the bottle and poured the wine which was just so wrong. It was slovenly, and sloppy and when he poured, wine splashed everywhere. I got the impression that he only bought this to share because it was clear from my profile that wine meant a lot to me, I guess this was his way of bonding. But for him wine was clearly just a drink he gulped quickly in order to get pissed quickly rather than actually enjoying it.

When he spoke I noted a strong Hull accent. Now I don’t have a problem with the Hull accent, Hull is a great city where I studied for 2 years, best 2 years of my life in fact. But like us Scarborough folk when we talk we tend to hang onto our vowels for too long. Ask a Hull person to say the words ‘Five or Nine’ and you will be a bit surprised as too what happens next. It is like an Exorcist has crawled into their mouth and taken control of their voice box for a few seconds.

But it was not his accent that caused a problem, it was the fact that most of his sentences always ended with one of the following “Not a Problem, not a Problem at all “or “You know what I mean, like, you know what I mean??”

The date started and we exchanged the usual chit chat about our jobs, this led to him talking a lot about his dream of getting his HGV licence and the challenge of roundabouts and the fact his driving instructor did not take him seriously. I let him run with this a good 10 minutes with a sinking feeling that this date was not going as I wanted. I just was not feeling a connection at all.

When he finished his story I tried to bring the conversation to something that I could talk about.

So ‘**Mike**’ I said I note on your profile you speak Spanish how did that come about?

He looked a bit puzzled by this “Arrgh he said , did I put that on my profile, can’t remember, you sometimes write these things that aren’t true don’t you, I mean I would like to speak Spanish, maybe one day I will learn it, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, like, you know what I mean?”.

No I did not know what he meant, why would you blatantly lie about that on a dating profile??? It’s like me putting I speak Russian when clearly I don’t.

I tried to find another common bond and remembered him saying he like travelling.

‘So “Mike” I say again’, sounding a bit like a prospective employer rather than a girl on a date ‘You say you enjoy travel, what kind of places have you been too recently’. (Having done some interesting travel over the past 3 years I was hoping he would have done at least one long haul travel that we could swap interesting stories about.)

“Uuurmmhhh, you know how it is, he said, I just get a pin and stick it somewhere on the map. Recently he said (looking quite pleased with himself) I ve been to Magaluf, Faliriki, Kavos”

Oh dear. Party Islands. My kind of holiday from Hell

As I listened to his story about how he was abandoned at birth by his mum and then brought up in various foster homes only to reunite with his mum and siblings at a later date who then again abandoned him and wanted nothing to do with him, I started to feel sorry for this guy. He clearly had trust issues and just seemed a bit of a loner.

I think he needed counselling and psychological help before he was let loose in the world of dating.

As I stared to think about what excuse I could say to leave it dawned on me that he had driven to Leeds and had parked his car nearby. But he has drunk at least 2 big glasses of wine, how did he intend to get home? When I asked that question I got the following response

Let’s not worry about that, why worry about that on a first date? Don’t want to bring the atmosphere down already do we?

My girlfriends at this point said he was obviously planning to stay the night at mine. I honestly did not feel this was the case. I actually got the impression that he just lived life with no plan at all, and that sleeping in his car at the end of the night was something that he was accustomed to and would happily do that night, if need be,

Still with plenty of wine left to go I made an excuse to go to the toilet. As I sat in the toilet I literally put my head in my hands trying to think of what excuse I could make to up and leave. As I had not previously put my “Get out of date excuse card” into place, making something up now was going to be obvious I just did not like his company.

I rang my sister at this point desperately hoping she could rescue me, as I relayed my horror, she said “Go back outside, ill ring you up with an emergency to leave’”

NO!!, not the awful emergency call I just could not do that to him. For all he was not my type he was not a bad person.

No doubt fed up of my predicament and listening to my continual moaning my sister then snapped “Look stop being stupid, go back out there, and tell him you are going home and JUST GO!”

For anyone who has been on a date, you will know leaving early is not that easy.

Not really sure what to do I looked in the mirror to try and readjust my ‘horror face’ back to my ‘poker face’ and calmly walked back out. At this point *Mike, looked at me and possible my Poker face had slipped already.

“YOU alright”, he said “Cos it’s hard to tell in nit, when someone is enjoying a date or not, KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

This was my perfect opportunity to tell the truth admit I wanted to go home. But he had driven a long way and I felt mean ending it so soon. Instead I just smiled and said, “It’s gone a bit chilly hasn’t it” can we just go for one last coffee?’

The fact I mentioned coffee, made it obvious to both that this date was drawing to an end. I felt a bit more uplifted now, one more drink and I was out of here. There was light at the end of the tunnel. He seemed a bit disgruntled but walked with me to the next bar, (closer to my bus stop).

As I sat down at the next bar already worrying as to whether he would ask about a 2nd date, he then asked the question “So Caroline, would you like to see me again?”

ARRGGHHH, by this point I had enough, 2 hours of my day were wasted, I did not want to see him again it had been a dreadful date I had to be truthful. So I just politely said “No Thankyou”

“Why Not” he said.

ARRGGGH For gods sake……………..

“Well I said, you have driven a long way today to see me and to be honest I don’t think Long distance would work.” (He was not buying this one)

“ Not a problem for me, not a problem at all “ he said, I can drive here, it’s only an hour. My job means I can live anywhere, I mean I can move to LEEDS I can live with you, not a PROBLEM AT ALL”

WHAT ?????

I had to find something better than this, putting on a sad face I said “To be honest I just came out of a relationship (LIE!!) And I just don’t think I am ready for the dating scene”

I did it! This date was about to end, my slow torture was nearly over……….He look really pissed off with this one. I think a lot of girls before me had said the same.

“So he said”, he was now frowning and raising his voice “in that case you have totally MISLED me, I wasted an afternoon with you, I could have been with a girl in Nottingham today”.

That was it, I was done, I enough.

I raised myself up so I was face to face with him and shouted back “MISLED YOU?? I MISLED YOU???….YOU SAID YOU SPEAK SPANISH, YOU DON’T SPEAK A WORD, GO TO NOTTINGHAM,I REALLY DON’T CARE” (He seemed a bit surprised that his ‘ I can speak Spanish’ white lie had now become such a big Deal)

The END

WE WERE DONE. He had no come back, so he grabbed his coat, threw down his pint and stomped out the bar without even a goodbye.

“ADIOS “I gleefully shouted as he headed towards the door. I don’t think he heard, but even if he did he would not have known what it meant.

I don’t think I have felt such relief when he walked out that bar. I bought a big glass of Merlot and just sat and enjoyed it on my own tying to reflect on what the hell just happened. Feeling at this point that being single was not all that bad.

I never saw ***Mike again, although he did strangely pop up on my ;” People you may know” FB page which was a bit freaky, guessing I have no other connection with him or mutual friends, guess I still have his number in my phone.

I was slightly worried about how got home that day or maybe even he went to Nottingham given his state of mind and the fact he’d had a few drinks. I did check the dating site a couple of hours later and he was ‘ONLINE’, sigh of relief, he was alive wherever he was. I felt a surge of sympathy towards the Nottingham girl who he planned to meet, sometimes I feel Dating sites should be like AMAZON when you can leave a review about your experience to warn the next person. Give them a star rating even.

But at least **Mike had a heart, and did genuinely want to meet someone, he was on it for the right reasons unlike most men. He just was mentally and psychologically not quite there yet.

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meetingmuppets · 8 years

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meetingmuppets · 8 years

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meetingmuppets · 8 years

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BLOG 3 - What Women want from a potential date

TIPS for Men, What Women Want from a Potential Date

So this blog is one for the guys to read to get an insight as to ‘What Women are looking for’ when scrolling through your profile, what happens when you ‘match up’ and what to expect on the first date.

Profile

Women are extremely fussy creatures, we really are, and it may take one small entry on your profile that we do not like, which means we will scroll past you without a second glance.

A dating profile should be a bit like a CV, factual, easy to read and no spelling errors. Also you need to sell yourself with your likes and hobbies, say something interesting that you do in your spare time and make sure you have presentable photographs.

Have a good user name, make it something specific to you but witty, be careful how honest you are at this point, If I get a an email saying ;‘BIGFATGARY 55’ wants to meet you, do you think I am going to click further? Exactly, point said.

Make sure your dating pictures are varied and interesting. Selfies do not work well for me, it suggests you have no friends to take the photo for you. If you are in a foreign location, or there is a good backdrop behind you, then a selfie is fine. In fact an exotic selfie is good, it shows you are independent and a keen traveler.

The selfies I hate though are the really sad one that men take in their bedroom or bathroom. But worse still they take their picture standing in front of a mirror, so we just see your reflection. Why do you do this??? You must have at least one friend who can take a decent picture of you, we would prefer to see you hanging out in the pub having fun and laughing then just peering in the mirror at yourself looking, well, just looking a bit of a loser.

NB no naked pics please, this is not the time. We do not need to see your bits at this point. And if you do feel the need to look provocative and sexy, boxer shorts just dropped and dangling around your knees/ankles whilst you take a selfie is not GOOD!!

Don’t put pictures on with a woman hanging off your arm. This happens a lot and is a bit strange. Possible you are trying to show us that at least one woman in your life has found you attractive at some point but to us it looks like this is your girlfriend or wife so we will just assume you are just wanting an affair.

If you have children then it’s fine to have your kids on the picture, but remember we will be studying your kids also to ensure they have good genes. And if the photograph is taken in your house, make sure your décor in the background looks good. Unbelievable I know, but my sister for example is not studying your face, she is looking behind you at the rest of your house. She is checking your wallpaper, if you have out of date wallpaper or it has a dodgy flower pattern she will move on, and if you have a DaDo rail, well Its GAME OVER, you are deleted or blocked!!

Anyway if you do get this far to get her attention and she is not put off by your pics, the next stage is the online chat.

CHAT

I do find at this point men fall at the first hurdle, all tradition goes out the window and they expect us to make the first move. This happens a lot. Most women are conventional and expect the guy to text first. Personally it does not faze me if I have to make the first move, time is too short, although I am getting a bit bored of this and feel the guy should take some initiative at times

Anyway the first email or text, should be short, fun and flirty, Don’t just say ‘Hi’ that is boring and you are leaving it to us again to make the effort.

Whatever you say I also feel Emojis are important at this point, a smiley face, even putting a ‘xx’ at the end of a sentence works well, it just makes the guy more personable. I think if after a day or two of chit chat there is a mutual interest then make your move and suggest a date, ‘Strike whilst the iron is hot’. It really annoys me at this point if the guy just sends boring messages that are not going anywhere and never suggesting a date - it is a dating site so don’t be scared to make a bold move. If there is no banter or flirt at this stage I will assume this will not be reciprocated in real life and I will lose interest and move on.

The Date

They say that when you go on a date you can tell within 2 minutes if you will like that person or not, (although accordingly to my sister its 9 seconds). Either way it is not a long time, so first impressions count.

I remember seeing an episode of Jonathan Ross when he was talking to Paddy Mcguinness about his series of the Dating Show “TAKE ME OUT”. Paddy was saying that on one show this really nice attractive guy walked on, all the girls kept their lights on except for one who buzzed straight away.

Paddy was interested as to why she decided to turn her light off so quickly so did the usual interrogation to see what was wrong with her. Her reason?? She simply did not like the way he walked!! Said his back leg dragged behind a little bit

She did not like his style of walk?????, this was her reason for not allowing it to go to the next stage. Seriously guys this is what you are dealing with here. We women are nightmares….

Personally my expectations on a date are not incredibly high. Hopefully the date will dress nice, wear nice shoes, nice aftershave, that he is polite, courteous, can make decent conversation and will offer to buy the first round.

I rarely go on a date expecting to Meet ‘The One’. I know some of you met ‘THE ONE’ the first time, count yourself lucky but this is quite rare.

The reason it never goes past a first date is because Nine times out of Ten there may be one important ingredient missing and if that ingredient is not there, you cannot do anything about it.

What am I talking about? Well its ‘The X factor’ The Spark’ The Va Va Zoom’ the ‘Je Ne sais Crois’. If that is not there then it is not there and no matter how hard you try,it is just not going to happen.

If is not there for either of you don’t see this as a bad thing. For me a good date is one where you meet someone, have something in common to talk about and don’t physically repulse each other. You may both know at the end it probably will not go to a second date but you both shake hands or kiss on the cheek and say ‘I ll text you’ knowing full well you probably wont.

If the other person does text back for a second date but you are not interested, it is tempting to ignore them. Personally I hate it if this happens to me, so I try not to do it to someone else. If this happens my advice is to put a standard text in your phone saying ‘I had a nice time with you but sorry I don’t see it going any further’. I guarantee the person will be pleased you respected them enough to tell the truth and will go away quietly no questions asked.

See any date like a job interview, even if it goes no further, it is good practice for the next one. Don’t give up too soon, you just have to keep on going until you get the one you want.!

So there you go, hope these tips have been useful and given you some insight as to how our minds work.

My next chapter is about MY WORST DATE EVER and how not to get in this situation. Still come out in sweats thinking about it now. But there are some really easy things you can do to protect yourself from letting a date run on for too long and not knowing how to get out of it. On this occasion I let my guard down, something I will never do again.

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meetingmuppets · 8 years

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Blog 2

TO LIE OR NOT TO LIE

So part 2 of my blog is about the lies that people tell on their dating profile, which then traps us under false pretences. It hinders our ability to make an informed decision as to whether we actually wanted to meet them or not.

When writing an online profile you really should be a truthful as you can. I admit that at times I have been known to knock a year off my age and add an inch to my height, it is not a massive lie, just a little white lie in my opinion, that makes me feel better about myself. I may Instagram my picture to soften my features, change my hair colour slightly, but I always ensure my pictures are current so that when you meet me you will not be too surprised.

Photos

What annoys me about guys is that they tend to post photos to their profile which are really out of date ,I mean the ‘Eighties’ are literally calling back out for them. Your photo is important, its what attract us to you, so you need to ensure its a good likeness.

When we like a guy on Tinder we like them purely for their looks. Shallow as Tinder is, it is quick, easy, you are not bogged down with reading profiles.

It does have a downside though.

TINDER

In case you don’t know what TINDER is, it is a dating APP and is like playing online SNAP with photographs. You see one photo only of your prospective date and you swipe left if you don’t ’likey’ and right if you do ’likey’. And if that other person has also clicked ’likey’ for you, you get a thrill seeking moment when your phone vibrates and flashes up “YES IT’S A MATCH”. You then have the ability to online chat with the guy.

Getting a Match is not very common in my experience, it literally happens once in a Blue Moon, however even at the stage it can fall flat and this is why:

When my phones flashes ’it’s a Match’ I grab it with excitement wondering which ‘Stud’ I have been matched with. I now have time to scroll through the rest of the profil and what happens now is confusing. The other pictures look nothing like the first one. And I mean nothing like it at all.

You swipe back and forth between both pics trying to establish what has gone wrong, I mean have you have accidently clicked on another person’s profile in error? Has the guy’s father accidently been superimposed on to the profile?? I mean you are like Brad Pitt on the first photo and Norris from Corrie in the second. You now realise the extent as to how old the photo is and feel a bit duped. But at least we now have enough info to make an informed decision, more likely or not the date will not proceed,

It when we don’t know the whole truth that makes it a bad date.

There are 2 other things Men lie about on their profile and that is Relationship Status and Height.

Relationship Status

Sadly a lot of these guys are already in relationships or even married, shocking I know. This is a lie they can get away with for a short period of time anyway. They simply remove their wedding ring. Easy.

Now I am not the most observant person. I can’t even tell when my mum has bought new curtains, I will certainly not be looking at your ring finger to see if there is sign of a white mark. And unless your FB page is littered with pictures of your wife and children I will remain in the dark. The point where you start to insist we don’t meet in public places, but rather in hotel bars is the point where my suspicions start to kick in. TIMEWASTERS!!- if you want an affair go to the ‘Ashley Maddison’ website, it is aimed at cheating rats like you, other people are there to cheat also. They promise their discretion, they encourage you to do it ‘LIFE IS TOO SHORT, HAVE AN AFFAIR’ and the other women you meet will not judge you like we are now doing, because they are there to cheat too. So go find a website that meets your expectations even if it means paying for it.

Height

Now this is one that really annoy me. As I said earlier, its fine to add an inch or two onto your height if you really feel the need, but I know of one guy who faked his height by 6 inches, 6 inches!! Instead of 5ft 7 he was actually 5 ft 1.

Now this is a ridiculous lie because at what point do you think we will not notice this??!!!.

I am telling you now we will notice it in the first billionth of a second when you walk in the room or jump off that bar stool. And as I am wearing 4 inch heels, I am now considerably taller than you, looking down at you from a great height not really knowing what to say. There is a massive elephant in the room and it is certainly not you. Tumbleweed is floating around us both.

In addition whilst we are on the subject of telling the truth, could we not have postponed the date until the shingles on your face had cleared up???. I am really pleased that it is only a temporary paralysis, but I now feel that I am on a date with Quasimodo.

Rant over, I am fully aware that some of the women on these website are also as bad.

I heard of one guy whose date disappeared for 30 minutes during their date. Presuming she had gone to the toilet and shimmied down the drain pipe (yes this does actually happen) he was about to give up and go home. After half an hour she returned, everything was fine nothing to worry about, she had just gone to meet her Drug Dealer!!

NEXT WEEK

Yes for those of you who have never tried online dating, this is just some small snippets of what to expect. It’s a minefield it really is. Next week I will be providing some tips for the guys,about what woman expect from online dating and how to catch their attention and keep it.

So that’s all for now, and if anyone has got any short dating horror stories then please feel free to share,,,

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