19 | he/them | TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE | ♡
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one of the weirdest experiences ive had being trans and out so far was when i went to the doctors about hrt and she walked me through the consent form (the one that tells you youre doing irreversible damage to your body and you're a freak) with a pen in her hand like crossing shit out and being like "this isn't true, this is actually completely false, this is totally an exaggeration" and it was stuff like "research on hrt is limited poor and speculative" or "hrt can increase risks of disease" or "testosterone makes you more violent and angry" like idk having it written in a way intended to make you feel like you're making a big mistake is one thing but the fact that the form has like literally proven false info in it and the doctor had to verbally be like sorry this isnt even true its just on there because society hates trans people. is wild
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DBT realization: radical acceptance isn’t toxic positivity. It can mean accepting exactly how bad it feels, how upset you are, how sad you are, how you fucked up, how everything else is fucked… AND making room for all the things that aren’t so fucked up.
Those latter moments can be appreciated just as much as the unsavory ones… but you need to be able to feel all of it.
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I feel like thinking about why I feel the need to be perfect has led me to realize that i don’t feel like I can be trusted to do the right thing or make good decisions on my own. The result is often that I look for an external set of rules or a leader to guide me and help me do the “right thing.” I’m terrified of the pain that might come from doing the wrong thing or making the wrong choice, and I want to live correctly so I don’t have to experience the pain that comes from living incorrectly
Im kind of realizing that I’m totally bought into the very neoliberal evangelical lie that there is only one correct life for me to be living and if I don’t do everything I’m “meant to do” exactly right in the way I’m “meant to do it” then I’m forfeiting the life that’s meant for me and I’m ruining my life. like I’m so focused on trying to make the most of everything and maximize my life to live the correct proper best way that I’m … extremely anxious and perfectionistic about just… living. lol
one example is with sex. I’m terrified that if I don’t have sexual relationships in the exact right way, I’ll have ruined my future ability to have fulfilling relationships and everything is just a loss. My first sexual relationship occurred when I was getting deeper and deeper into evangelicalism and it REALLY fucked me up in terms of making me feel like I am stupid and can’t make good decisions for myself. After that relationship I dove headfirst into fundamentalism and just gave up my decision making to the Bible and the church because I felt I couldn’t trust myself after I’d made the fatal mistake of becoming sexually active. I felt that I had experienced the searing pain of ruining my life… but really… it could have been that it was just the pain of having the Bible and the church tell me how bad I was for what I’d done… like would I have felt such deep pain if I hadn’t been exposed to that messaging?? And I’m that case, maybe the problem is not me and my decision making, but something else about how the world around me responds to my decisions by shaming, blaming, hurting, etc… hmmmmm
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STOP living your life in accordance to other people’s approval of you. START living your life in accordance to your approval of you. Do you like yourself? Do you like things you say and do? What do you want out of the people around you? What things can you do to help make your life easier? What things make you happy? Cease looking for someone else’s answer to those questions, and start answering them yourself.
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i think a lot of people would benefit from internalizing the reality that just because u had a negative emotion doesnt always mean someone else did something wrong
we can be hurt without someone else being to blame for being the epicenter of that hurt. just because something makes us upset or hurts us, doesnt mean the other person made a mistake or should have done something differently or needs to apologize
negative emotions are an inevitable part of life and sometimes they were always going to happen no matter what because of the situation and there was no way to avoid them and thats okay. sometimes there's nothing to be done to fix a negative emotion or prevent it from happening. sometimes people we love and care about are going to hurt us and thats okay. its a part of being human. we will inevitably do the same to them. but just because we were hurt doesnt mean they did something wrong.
and we can take the time and space to be upset about that privately without involving them in our emotions at all. because even when our emotions are triggered by someone else, that doesnt mean they have to answer for them
the world is not divided into victims and perpetrators and sometimes people hurt us when they do the right thing. sometimes everyone can do everything right and we can still get hurt and be upset. that doesnt make them bad people and it doesnt give us the right to blame them for it or hold them responsible
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I was talking to my therapist about some anxiety symptoms --- "In my mind, I know I'm going to be perfectly okay, but my body doesn't listen and reacts anyway" --- and she recommended TIPP as strategies to keep in my toolbox of dealing with distress in the moment. I really appreciate having more than one option to try in moments of overwhelm!
Transcription below:
If you're feeling overwhelmed by anxiety or other strong emotions, TIPP is a set of techniques that use the body's natural physical responses to bring you back into balance.
TIPP stands for
temperature
intense exercise
paced breathing
progressive muscle relaxation
Temperature:
The body naturally lowers its heart rate in response to cold. If anxiety is making your heart race, try an ice pack, a cool washcloth, or a walk outside in cool weather, and it should help you calm down.
Intense exercise:
Anxiety is typically a symptom of your body going into fight/flight mode. If your body is coursing with nervous energy, burn it off with 10 minutes of jumping jacks, dancing, climbing stairs, or another cardio activity to complete the stress response cycle.
Paced breathing:
Deep, slow breathing from the belly can also help signal the body to come out of fight/flight mode. Try inhaling for a count of four and exhaling for a count of six until you feel more relaxed. (I like to hold the breath for a count of two between each inhale and exhale.)
Progressive muscle relaxation:
If anxiety makes your body tense up, try this. Start by squeezing the muscles in your toes and feet for five seconds, and then intentionally relax them. Move up to the calves, up your legs, and every region of your body to purposefully let go of extra energy.
When you're feeling overwhelmed, try one or more of these to see what works for you.
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idk if im actually bi or nit but i have an 8 am class tomorrow cant worry about that
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I didn't know this could happen.
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i love pictures of the international space station which are just completely overexposed because that is just.. unequivocally an angel.
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I have a layer of chest and tummy hair that is very soft (dark and kinda weirdly long but soft) and I am begging for it to stay that way.
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Skip Google for Research
As Google has worked to overtake the internet, its search algorithm has not just gotten worse. It has been designed to prioritize advertisers and popular pages often times excluding pages and content that better matches your search terms
As a writer in need of information for my stories, I find this unacceptable. As a proponent of availability of information so the populace can actually educate itself, it is unforgivable.
Below is a concise list of useful research sites compiled by Edward Clark over on Facebook. I was familiar with some, but not all of these.
⁂
Google is so powerful that it “hides” other search systems from us. We just don’t know the existence of most of them. Meanwhile, there are still a huge number of excellent searchers in the world who specialize in books, science, other smart information. Keep a list of sites you never heard of.
www.refseek.com - Academic Resource Search. More than a billion sources: encyclopedia, monographies, magazines.
www.worldcat.org - a search for the contents of 20 thousand worldwide libraries. Find out where lies the nearest rare book you need.
https://link.springer.com - access to more than 10 million scientific documents: books, articles, research protocols.
www.bioline.org.br is a library of scientific bioscience journals published in developing countries.
http://repec.org - volunteers from 102 countries have collected almost 4 million publications on economics and related science.
www.science.gov is an American state search engine on 2200+ scientific sites. More than 200 million articles are indexed.
www.pdfdrive.com is the largest website for free download of books in PDF format. Claiming over 225 million names.
www.base-search.net is one of the most powerful researches on academic studies texts. More than 100 million scientific documents, 70% of them are free
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Autistic Inertia is an autism experience that makes it hard to start, stop, and switch tasks.
It somehow doesn't get talked about enough - so I made this comic!
YouTube • Instagram • Twitter
Also, if you want to read the research study I based this comic on, it’s right here!
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Autistics and Task Switching ♾️
hello here’s a really good resource explaining task switching for autistic ppl and how hard/painful it can be !!
my partner was having a hard time understanding why i get so upset when we’re hanging out (but doing different things) and he interrupts what i’m doing to show me something on his phone. i was having a hard time explaining my emotions/feelings to him until i came upon this article!
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