I was going to make a post saying "Lucretia told everyone the truth there were seven Grand Relics instead of covering her ass and saying there were six because she's a storyteller, and six sounds objectively less cool than seven," but then I thought about it and actually, if you look at the timeline, I think this was probably a very pragmatic or at least tactically safe decision on her part?

When Lucretia founds the Bureau, Junior hasn't been born yet. Lucretia obviously doesn't even know Junior will be born someday. So once she inoculates Bureau members with Fisher — a necessity to staffing the Bureau in the first place — Lucretia can't keep any more secrets from them, with only one Voidfish at her disposal. And crucially, while Lucretia is the Bureau's primary source of info on the "Red Robes," basically all her recruits lived through the Relic Wars.

Upon inoculation, they'll all presumably remember at least some details about the Grand Relics. Obviously no one but Lucretia would know anywhere near everything about each Relic and their properties, not least of all because of a high eyewitness fatality rate, but part of the reason the wars were so deadly was because word of the Relics spread. Everyone in the world knew a few things about them.

So, if Lucretia were to tell her recruits: "oh, don't worry, there's only six terrible artifacts we need to destroy, tee hee!" then it's very possible that assorted Bureau members — especially Seekers, for whom looking into the Relics is literally their job — could start comparing memories amongst themselves, and put together that there was a seventh, leaving Lucretia with no option but to admit that she lied. If I recall correctly, the podcast never explicitly indicates what/how much damage the Bulwark Staff did to the world — but I find it hard to believe that it didn't do anything an inoculated person could later find record of or remember. (There's an admittedly good fanfic premise, though, in Lucretia leaving her Relic in someone's care to make it stationary, like how Magnus gave the Chalice to Jack, or how Barry is theorized to have given the Bell to the Wonderland twins.)

I digress, but the point is, Lucretia may have necessitated a lot of little lies for her future self by admitting there were seven Relics, but trying to winnow it down to six could've easily bit her in the ass, and she was definitely smart enough to realize that. She acted accordingly at the time.

And by the time Junior comes around, then of course she could theoretically use them to erase the Bulwark Staff from her employees' minds — but by then, she's been hiding the Staff under everyone's noses for about a year, and no one has gotten suspicious. So if it's working, why change it? She's no doubt also smart enough to reserve Junior's power for emergencies only — even if people forget information, they can still retain the feeling they're forgetting something. With people planetside, that's one thing — but with her employees on the moon, from whom she needs unshakeable trust?Probably not worth it.

Overall, a it's deceptively rational decision on Lucretia's part, honestly. And also, seven Grand Relics still sounds way more badass than just six.

I can keep going

I hear ya’ll with your “Kravitz plays the violin” and raise you a “Kravitz can play all the strings but he mains:”

ID: Some lineless art of Taako and Wup (worm Lup.) Taako is an elven man with tan skin, long blonde hair, and a slight build. He is wearing casual wizard clothes in various shades of blue. Wup (worm Lup) is a huge, magenta-colored worm of the string. On the left, Taako is wearing Wup like a giant scarf. His hands are in his sweater pockets and his face is partially obscured. On the top right, Wup is laying in a neutral position, with a caption of three question marks. Right below that is another drawing of her, this time revealing an open, muppet-like mouth with the caption saying, "Oh geez no why." Another caption reads, "Author's note: I refuse to give her a realistic mouth." On the bottom right, Taako is holding Wup on his outstretched arm. She is facing forward and shooting magic missiles. A caption with an arrow pointed to her face reads, "spell fire from her snoot." End ID.

some worm lup in these trying times

worm lup au: post | post | post

What’s up TAZ fandom I made some memes please like them

I haven’t quite caught up with Ethersea, but I couldn’t just pass up the opportunity to draw the best pun names!

*The Good The Bad and The Ugly starts playing distantly as the reaper trio ride off into the sunrise*

@herbgerblin‘s TAZ Cowboy Au is really great! There’s art and a fic too!

listen i love taako and kravitz so much because individually they're the greatest craziest heroes ever but whenever they get together they're just some guys. taako saved the universe lived in an infinite loop dimension travelled and self taught to become one of the most gifted wizards of all time and kravitz is the grim reaper the only person close enough to sway the goddess of death survived the destruction of an entire plane and can create interdimensional rifts at will. when they are together they're your noisy couple next door who gets the paper in a bathrobe gossips about the lady across the street when you stop and talk with them and drives a toyota. taako is on a mission with his ride or die companions helping his former captain fight a sea monster on a sunday afternoon and kravitz is working extra with the two most powerful liches in being hunting down a group of necromancers in the middle of the ocean. they meet, stop and kiss, ask about their cat, and then moves on with their individual hero shit. comes home the same night watches queer eye and asks what they were up to today. taako got a sandwich with free pickles at the sub place and that was his highlight today he says while kravitz wipes a speck of kraken blood of his cheek. kravitz says barry called the necromancers nectarines by accident and they both get a good laugh out of it. "the faith of the world is at stake here taako" "the fate of my dinner is at stake here kravitz." "magnus has been kidnapped by some weird mercenaries i need to dip" "you are not missing angus rehearsal sit your ass down babe"

Haven't had a chance to finish Imbalance yet but was so happy to revisit my old friends them Tres Horny Boys!! 😭

[ID: Lineart drawing of Taako and Kravitz standing in a kitchen. Kravitz is a half eleven man with facial hair and locs pulled back into a messy bun. Taako is an elven man with freckles and curly hair pulled back into a bun. He is wearing an apron and holding a bowl of batter with a spoon. In the top image, Kravitz is standing behind Taako and reaching into an open portal to grab at a tray of cookies through a portal on the counter in front of them both. Taako looks aghast and Kravitz's sneaky actions. In the bottom image, Kravitz has taken a bite out of one of cookies, remarking, "Ow! It's hot." Taako is wacking the spoon against Kravitiz's shoulder, while muttering, "Yeah? serves you right." End ID]

Kravitz has been banned from the kitchen several times but he still manages to sneak back in

she’s the baby and she knows it [Image description: A two panel monochrome comic featuring Davenport and Lucretia from The Adventure Zone: Balance podcast. The comic is a visual version of a scene in the Imbalance spinoff miniseries. In the first panel, Davenport is arranging ration bars on a plate from within a giant suit of armour. Beside him, Lucretia is asking, “Can we say it’s from both of us?” In the following panel Davenport has released his grip on one of the suit of armour’s arms to princh the bridge of his nose, and is exclaiming, “GOD ALMIGHTY.” Lucretia is grinning and has small flowers floating around her head as she responds, “Thank you!” End ID.]

you can pry short barry bluejeans from my cold dead hands

local man in extremely deep shit through nobody’s fault but his own

original post / part 1

i don’t have any explanation for this it’s late

thanks @caterpillar-titty for putting up with me

mcelboycontent will hear the new mbmbam song and be like “is anyone gonna make a sitcom intro about this?” and not even wait for the answer

LUP TIME LUP TIME