Wait for it…

*sucks guys dick* *dies of nut allergy*

I got a Geralt nugget

Brah I am probably just spiraling but I feel miserable and this misery penetrates every fiber of my being. Someone got a brief, twenty minute moment of bliss/happiness this morning at the Lake.

I am jealous.

not to flex but i’ve never watched a pewdiepie video

i hope i get reborn as a duck who lives at disneyworld and gets to eat potato chips that tourists paid $11.99 for

i dont have any strong opinions irt robert pattinsons batman except i think we should be calling his take on the character “patman” instead of “battinson”. i think it would be fun and fresh to do that.

the year is 2023, marie kondo holds j*ff b*zos by the skin on the back of his neck in front of a public gathering

“does this one spark joy?” she shouts at the restless audience, they boo in response

she snaps his spine like .5mm mechanical pencil lead and throws his lifeless corpse to the crowd, they cheer in response

Suave, slow and elegant movements. I can not stop been mesmerized.

look at this photo of my stepdad

this video has disrupted my every waking thought for the past three days

One time my rabbi told us, “imagine you had a box with a little bit of god in it. What would you do with the box?”

So we were like ?? “We’d protect it and keep it nice and clean and polished” and he was like “your body’s that box. Stop eating markers”

requested by yeswaterisme

british summer is here.