I just had an experience at the hospital that was actually more traumatizing than the time I was turned away from the ER when I was almost dead because they thought I was on drugs

The sun in Philly today, 6/7/23. 4:30 pm. No filters have been applied to this photo

I have a major soft spot for queerplatonic rships where at least one party is actually able to be attracted to the other. Queerplatonic ships where it's not "I would be in love with you if I was allo/gay/straight/bi/etc" but instead "I could be in love with you but I'm not because that's not the right relationship for either us and we're unbelievably happy with what we have."

Queerplatonic relationships are always treated as second string to romantic relationships, with an implication of "this relationship would be romantic if it could be", and that sucks. They're their own relationship, completely distinct from romance, and deserve to be treated as such.

I MIGHT HAVE AN IN WITH MAYO CLINIC!!!

I’ve been debating reaching out to them for the past several months, seeing as I’ve spent the past 5 or 6 years having my life completely destroyed by some horrible gastrointestinal symptoms no one can diagnose. I have seen specialists at 3 different hospitals now. I had an appointment with a colectoral surgeon who literally told me “I don’t know what’s wrong with you, I can’t help you” (those exact words). He then flippantly suggested I call Mayo Clinic, and he definitely wasn’t serious about it he just wanted to get me out of his office, but I was like. hm. maybe that IS my only option left.

so I called them, described my situation, and they sent me a medical history questionnaire to fill out that will be forwarded to an internal medicine team, and if they decide to take my case they’ll call me with an appointment time!!

I’m trying not to get my hopes up because I can’t afford to have them crushed, and I’m so so so used to being shown the door by doctors at appointment after appointment. maybe Mayo Clinic will me my answer. maybe it won’t be. all we can do is wait ;-;

how do you just get up and deal with the fact that there’s a last time for everything. there was a last time you sat on your dads shoulders and there was a last time your mom tucked you into bed. there’s going to be a last time you kiss your sister on the head and there’s going to be a last time you hug your best friend. there’s going to be a last time you feel exactly as you feel right now and there’s going to be a last time that person says i love you. i need to lay down

I don’t know if it’s nostalgia of the past or that being in your twenties is hard, but I miss how easy it was to be platonically intimate with people.

I miss hugging my best friend just because I loved to make her roll her eyes, back when we weren’t 2000 miles apart. I miss saving an orange from lunch for the boy that may as well be my brother, because he was always starving by 5th period. I miss singing and playing ukulele alongside the guy with the prettiest mane of hair and sea foam green eyes.

Everyone says it’s harder to make friends in your twenties, because you’re not around the same group of people for hours a day like you were in school, except for your coworkers (and who wants to hang out with your coworkers, apparently). While I agree that’s partly true, I think a lot of it has to do with how protective we are of our hearts.

We’re taught to watch out for ourselves, that we shouldn’t rely on anyone else but ourselves. Never mind the fact that humans are inherently pack animals and have a desire to be close to one another. Then the pandemic hit and made everything so much harder.

Everyone is tired and scared, we’re struggling to stay afloat. We’re lost, we have our own lives in the same breath. The world is has it’s problems and we’re all trying to handle it in the best way we know how. Despite the fact that our feelings are universal, we’re the loneliest we’ve ever been. The internet helps a little, some of the best people I’ve ever met were met online. Some of them I’ve met on this website.

But God, what I’d give to support and be supported. To hear a friend’s loud belly laugh when I make a stupid joke, or to hold their hand when they’re sad. I miss the mischievous grins and secret code words shared between a group of people who love each other as much as family, maybe to each other they are a family.

-And I know that I’m not the only person in the world that feels this way, there’s probably millions of others out there who feel this deep sense of loneliness and yearn for companionship. For those in the same boat, I see you and my heart is with you. Don’t give up on connection, that’s what we’re built for.

get the feeling, don't fight it

ariel (mermaid) when her dad asks her who she was with last night

Welcome Home Neighbour ❤️

I got a hang in drawing wally finally

Made alternate versions as well

Tw: Disturbing imagery

Winter wolf syndrome

“Someday I’ll get on that train...” March 2023

Art by Joanne Mazuay

“If you promise to stay alive just a little bit longer I promise that we are going to make this world a place worth living in by any means necessary. I ain’t giving up. I swear.” 

Spotted in Clackamas, Oregon

A snake story, based on an experience I had while I was in Florida.