i want d

i'm so lonely :(

my boyfriend is the personification of an exclamation point and also i can't stop staring at a picture of him

the fear that you're wasting ur 'best years' by having an éd but also by not being conventionally pretty/skinny.

That feeling when you wake up in the morning and step on the scale to see you’ve lost weight is pure joy and nothing can beat that feeling.

Me fight the urge to not eat sweets when I for sure know for a fact im going to eat it anyways and hate myself for it💀

Starving so i feel comfortable enough to be naked in front of others

yesterday i binged for the first time in weeks, was curious so i stepped on the scale IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY and had lost 3lbs????

maybe i'll start tagging my posts and get èd tumblr famous? 🧐 but also i feel like it's Soooo obvious i'm from twt from the way i format posts

definitely in my starving for boys era

I don't want to be "MeNtAlLy StAbLe", I want to be skinny bitch!!!!!

i'm not allowed to buy myself food that's higher than 100cals. makes it even more special when someone gets something for me

you don't have to be thin to be cute, but I definitely do

i need to talk about the shitttt that went down today. D and i finally were alone and ofc we took the opportunity.. and we didn't do anything crazy but. jesus i forgot how much i missed that shit. but also no one ever tells you how Hard it is to do that shit while restricting. i had to take a break every couple minutes cause the heavy breathing was making me faint and nauseous... and also cause it was lowkey overwhelming cause i hadn't done shit in over a year. but ANYWAY can now confidently say i Like dîck. like jeez. and let me say he has a nice one. ofc i don't rly have much frame of reference but Got Damn. lolol and this man being "only a sûb" was complete bullshitttttt. not that i mind cause i'm sûb leaning anyway rip. we didn't actually Woohoo lol but i'm just excited cause i've liked him for a long time and this is my first experience with an amab. lol the whole weekend we were Hella Flirting but couldn't do shit cause i also had a bunch of other ppl over. my godddd when we got hîgh it was soooo tense cause like we Needed to do shit but we Couldn't. and finally seeing It after weeks of just playing with it over his pants and stuff ISTG IT FEELS LIKE A FANFIC EVERY TIME WE DO ANYTHING!!! it helps that i love him and he's so great. he's so gentle and silly that whenever he does something Dômmy it's just UGHHHHHH!! omg i forgot but my younger friend walked in on us shfahfhsgd. what happened was everyone left the room for a bit. i was chilling but ig i turned him on too much cause he basically got on top of me. it was so weird like not him at all it's like he just lost control. i liked it like i wasn't trying to stop him but i was also like chill there are people around. right as i was telling him to calm down (he was still on me) T WALKED IN I FELR SO BSD. we were fully clothed and everything but i just feel bad for D he was so embarrassed... i didn't rly care that much tbh. our group is rly open and we do that shit all the time. dîcks feel so weird. it was so soft?? and i knew they're muscles but i didn't expect it to Feel like it but i don't know what i expected. and i thought getting hàrd just meant it stood up not it actually got Physically Hàrd. and sometimes is just Twitched??? ahdhahfhs so weird..... i love it!!! i had a good day until the shit with my twt account but i'll survive. i'll just get rly hîgh tonight so i don't feel any feelings

hey little tumblr friends guess who got kicked off èdtwt (my safespace where i keep my diary basically and also where i talk to my best friend) so they're using tumblr as a disordered diary now. literally so upset i was having such a good day and now i feel so alone. that's where all my people where. i felt like i could say things and talk about my day and just be seen. now i'm stuck on tumblr which is hella isolating and i can't even talk to my bsf anymore. all of my other accounts got taken down too even though they didn't have ANYTHING against tos on them. i haven't used tumblr in years all i know is it was so lonely. i'm scared i don't want my thoughts to not be seen. i need to be seen. i need my best friend to see me and i need to see his thoughts and feelings and i'll never be able to do that again all because i told him to kÿs AS AN OBVIOUS JOKE THAT HE LAUGHED AT i don't know what the fuck to do.