mangomourn
find beauty in trying
it will always be okay, eventually
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Chore Scorpion: I come from the toughest meanest place you can imagine. I want to be gentle, I want to die gently, but It seems that when life gets hard I have to get harder to match.
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will it eventually be okay? It feels like no. It will never be okay. I will always be in a rut, a cycle of remorse. When will I find peace?
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I don’t belong anywhere
I am in the midst of my own becoming
But I’m not sure what to become
How do I make myself
How do I be?
I’m not sure how to exist much less become content. I’m coming apart at the seams
I miss being loved
My purpose I always thought was to love
But I think my newfound purpose is to be loved
Ideally by myself
Ideally I should treat myself with compassion and understanding
I’m doing the best I can
I’m trying
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I am tired of working incredibly hard at work and then coming home like a starving stray puppy. I sit, stay and sleep. repeat. why must I chase the instant pleasures and focus on my future. but yet I don’t understand why the future is so important. why should I suffer in the moment to lead up to something I may never have and don’t enjoy?
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