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FINALE: The Funky Critters Experience
Well, here we are. This is the final Funky Critters blog post.
I started this blog as part of an eight(ish) week writing exercise. Though sometimes it has been tedious to post on time, I overall found running this blog enjoyable. I really liked getting to research cool animals, and I really liked posting my thoughts about them.
There isn't much more to say; this was a simple blog with a simple premise and a simple execution. I don't think that is a bad thing. I believe it is good to write something simple every once in a while, as long as the simple writing is still written well.
Anyways, to anyone who took the time to read any of the Funky Critters blog posts, thank you.
Good Bye!
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Hagfish, Heck YEAH
Hagfish are creatures that live deep in the ocean and eat carcasses and sometimes live prey. They have no bones and have a skull made of cartilage. Instead of teeth, they have structures made of keratin. They use these false teeth to rip flesh and burrow into meat.
Their most infamous trait is their ability to spit slime that expands upon contact with sea water. They use this to deter predators.
I think these guys are pretty neat, rather than just gross. Someone even wrote a cool song about them!
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Sources: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/14-fun-facts-about-hagfish-77165589/
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Hellbenders, Yeah!
The hellbender, or Cryptobranchus alleganiensis is an aquatic salamander that-
Okay, how am I supposed to stay on script when that adorable little face is staring at me through the screen? It's too cute! Look at those raggedy flaps running across its sides; the hellbender is, in my opinion, unfathomably adorable. I find this creature infinitely endearing.
However, despite the fact I am distracted by this creature's cuteness, I can still jot down down some interesting facts about it! Hellbenders live under rocks in cold, speedy streams. The fellows mostly eat crawfish and real fish, but they can also cannibalize each other. That does not change how cute they are.
What has this blog come to?
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Sources: https://www.nwf.org/Educational-Resources/Wildlife-Guide/Amphibians/Hellbender
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Velvet Worms aren't very Creepy-Crawlies
Velvet worms are all the critters in the phylum Onychophora. They are not worms; they are not caterpillars; they are not even insects! They are a creature in a league all of their own!
When these guys were first discovered in 1826, they were mistaken for slugs. There are many differences I could point out, but for me, the most glaring difference is that velvet worms have adorable little legs while slugs don't.
Velvet worms dwell the forests of Australia. They choose to live in moist spots, but have water repellant skin so they don't end up getting soaked.
One of the most unique things about the velvet worm is how it hunts. It launches super-sticky slime from its oral tubes to catch prey. Then, because the prey can't escape, the velvet worm dismembers the prey and salivates inside each part until the insides are soft enough to slurp up. The fact that the velvet worm does this is not enough to deter me from calling it cute. It is still adorable to me despite its eating habits.
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Sources: https://australian.museum/learn/animals/worms/velvet-worm/
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Portuguese Man o' Wars are Extroverts
The Portuguese man-o'-war, or Physalia physalis is a bizarre marine invertebrate. Although many varieties of seemingly alien marine life dwell only in the deepest depths of the ocean, the Portuguese man-o'-war floats on the ocean's surface.
This creature is not a jellyfish, nor is it exactly accurate to consider it one creature. The Portuguese man-o'-war is actually a symbiotic colony of polyps that make up the gas-filled sail, the stinging tentacles, the digestive mechanism, and the reproductive mechanism.
It's weird.
The Portuguese man-o'-war only uses wind and ocean currents to travel, so it does not move independently like a jellyfish does. Its lifestyle is very relaxed. It has a painful sting for defense and catching food, and it does not have a brain, so it never gets bored.
That being said, the Portuguese man-o'-war has plenty of predators to worry about, such as sea turtles and sea slugs and crabs etc.
Still, it must be nice to live floating across the ocean's surface each day.
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Sources: https://www.britannica.com/animal/Portuguese-man-of-war
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Hedgehogs are Adorable Lunatics
The African pygmy hedgehog, or Atelerix albiventris, is a small nocturnal insect eating mammal that is sometimes kept as a pet.
AP hedgehogs are strange in their habits, and some people may find their behaviors off-putting. Unlike many other small mammals, hedgehogs are solitary rather than social. AP hedgehogs must be tamed rather than befriended.
Another very interesting behavior that AP hedgehogs exhibit is the fact that sometimes when they find new scents, their mouths will foam and they will lick themselves all over. This is called self-anointing, a rather regal name for such a silly behavior. Scientists still do not know why they do this, and I find that absolutely hilarious.
Overall, I enjoy how strange hedgehogs are. They are little lunatics who run in the night, and I respect that.
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Oarfish are Lanky Fellas
The Oarfish, or Regalecus glesne, is a very long species of bony fish. These guys get absolutely huge, ranging from 8-11 meters in length.
Oarfish are incredibly majestic, but also have really funny looking faces. The duality is truly fascinating.
Weirdly enough, despite looking kind of like dragons, oarfish have no scales. Instead, they're covered in a slimy membrane.
Another odd thing about oarfish is that they often swim with their heads facing upwards. I believe it would be quite frightening to stare into the abyss of the deep only to find another pair of eyes staring right back at you. It's creepy!
Thankfully, they don't eat humans.
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Sources: https://www.marinebio.org/species/oarfishes/regalecus-glesne/
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Glass Lizards are the Funkiest Guys
The Western Slender Glass Lizard, Ophisaurus attenuatus attenuatus, has a very long name befitting of a very long lizard. It lives everywhere in Missouri except for the southwest portion.
This funky creature is easily mistakable for a snake at first glance, as it has no legs. But, aha! It is indeed a lizard! These guys have ear openings and eyelids. Snakes have neither. This means if you look at a suspected snake and it blinks at you, it is actually a lizard!
Another funny thing about these critters is that males and females are impossible to tell apart without using a blood test. This, in addition to the fact they've never successfully bred in captivity, unfortunately means no captive-bred individuals exist in the pet trade.
However, since these are amazing animals, I highly recommend observing them in the wild! Remember to be polite when you find one, and don't bother it. Be respectful so that these animals exist for generations to come!
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