makeit2030
Vents And Stuff
My online diary with a sprinkle of music, books, art and memes I like Paramore, Taylor swift, Andrew Garfield and reading a lot | 22 | she/her
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uncivilizedelk
Uncivilized Elk
guanimo
👑 Myra 👑
forsenonlosaimapurequestoe-amore
Spunti per foto che non verranno mai realizzate
ngalu
Ngalu.
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its always some fucking day in some fucking month in some fucking year isnt it
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I think I’m genuinely unwell mentally and I really don’t know what to do about it.
I feel stupid going to the doctors, because I know there are people that are worse. But then I look around and wonder if everyone is this sad? Because I don’t think they are.
I’m really struggling with my life right now. I can’t seem to get my work done, I eat terribly and never seem to have the right amount of energy for people. I struggled to even joke along with my work friends today because I’m just so sad.
I can’t even cry because I don’t know exactly what I’m crying about. Is it my wavering relationship with my father? Am I lonely? Is it because I never feel good enough? I don’t know.
I feel like it’s everything and nothing at the same time. I wish I could just cry it out. I wish I could talk to someone about it but I don’t even know where to begin.
Ive got so many good things ahead of me and I don’t want it to be ruined by this sadness.
Being friends with one of my work friends makes me sad. I used to like him a lot, and while I know I don’t want him romantically anymore, there’s a part of me that always hurts knowing he never felt the same. There’s a part of me that always wonders ‘what about me was never good enough for you to reciprocate?’ What does he see when he looks at me? Does he see me platonically because he’s grossed out by me? Or is it one of those things where you just can’t help who you don’t have feelings for.
Id love to be the object of someone’s attention just once. Just me, no one else. And that has never happened for me. There’s always been a someone else in the picture; I’m always sharing the attention of the one I admire with another woman. And that other woman is usually who they want more- not me.
Just once I’d like it to be me. Just once I’d like to be chosen because of me specifically, not because I’m the most available. Just one I’d like to be liked for who I am, not who I can be moulded into or the parts of me that can be ignored. Just once.
Future me, did we ever find this? Please say we did, I need hope.
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seeing everyone now in love with andrew garfield is so funny cause he’s been tumblr’s princess diana
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nothing will ever be as beautiful to me as an entire theater full of teenagers and grown ass adults shrieking their asses off when andrew garfield appeared on the screen during no way home and then the same theater full of teenagers and grown ass adults shrieking their asses off AGAIN once tobey maguire appeared as if that wasn’t the logical conclusion to andrew’s appearance
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No more girlbossing i want to girl rest girl sleep girl lay down etc
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No more girlbossing i want to girl rest girl sleep girl lay down etc
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you’re going to love again, find a job again, create art again, do what you love again, feel powerful again. you’re going to be back on track. i don’t know when, but you are going to feel like yourself again, eventually. this isn’t the end. hang in there.
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TAYLOR SWIFT
I Bet You Think About Me (2021) dir. Blake Lively
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I really want to be less of a jealous person. It’s like something else takes over when I find out someone I knew from school etc is doing better than me and I hate it. I want to be happy for people and be content within myself, but I don’t know how to make that little jealousy demon go away.
Like my friend told me she recently got a job interview for a really good position in a major pharma company. And I am happy for her and I really hope she gets it, but there’s a disgusting thing wriggling around in the pit of my stomach that wants to always be the best. I don’t want to feel like that. I want to be happy for her and that’s it.
Anyways at least I knew what I’m talking about ti my therapist next week aha
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i’m full of rage but in a very chill and nonchalant way
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So beautiful was our love, that when people saw us walking past, we were love and art in person. By Anastasia Trusova on Instagram.
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