Sunday 31 December 1826

7 10/60

11 3/4

In my room at 8 10/60 - my bowels quite right now, and have been ever since I had the sense to loosen my stays - the fact is I am fatter than I was I began to perceive - my life is too easy - I must have more exercise, and less bed - I am always afraid of getting fat - I know it is so difficult to do so without laying the foundation for ‘divers diseases and death’ - It is by superabundence [sic] of nourishment that we compel ourselves to become fat - nature makes use of it by converting it into fat, till we clog her up that she can do so no longer, and then it must gradually derange the machine in one way or other, till at last the parts can play no longer, and we die of over feeding - from 8 20/60 to 8 3/4 wrote the latter 1/2 page 2 my letter to Mrs Lynn, and about page 3 and thus finished my letter - a kind letter beginning

‘my dear Mrs Lynn (dated last night ‘Saturday evening 30 December’) I was going to begin with, It seems odd that I should trouble you by writing….. but my eye glances on your concluding sentence, ‘I shall always have pleasure to hear from you’; and it is enough - It is not my xxxx intention to weary you, or to intrude upon your thoughts in any way that can be irksome - we are very sincerely anxious for your daughter’s recovery, - very sincerely anxious to have good accounts of you both, - and, beyond this have only to add, that, be the will of providence what it may, we trust you will neither be found unprepared, nor unresigned, and that you will not fail to remember that, if there be any comfort, - any consolation which you can possibly derive from us, it will be gladly offered with all the cordiality of real interest in your welfare’

rejoice that she has stayed where she is - mention the loss of our tab silver spoons - the peace of Europe seems to rest on a better foundation than ever

‘there may be a few complaints of Mr Canning’s ‘worse than haughty speech’; but England and Mr Canning, too, are hailed by the vast majority as the sheet anchor of all that is great and liberal; and Charles the 10th does not, in his heart, respect, or trust us less, because we wrap up the mantle of our importance round us - my aunt still continues ‘well of herself’, but suffers more in her limbs, than she did 10 days ago - of course, we attribute this to the weather - we have had a great deal of rain, tho’ it has chiefly fallen in the night - we have as yet no appearance of winter, but the leafless trees - a few mornings rather frosty, but the air, in general, soft and mild, on bad days being damp, and hazy with small rain - Fahrenheit was at 47o at 8 this morning north aspect’ (I had forgotten I had dated yesterday Fahrenheit only 46o yesterday) - ‘I hope you have good accounts from Mrs Sherand - my aunt joins me in best regards to Mrs and Miss Lynn - Sincerely anxious for her recovery, and for their own enjoyment of better health and happiness, I am, my dear Mrs Lynn, very truly yours A Lister’

to Steph, after copying Mariana’s account of herself (burning heat in her stomach succeeded by sickness which keeps her ‘awake for hours together’ in the night - tongue swelled and as if scalded - appetite good ‘in imagination’ but the moment she beginsto eat, she is satisfied) add,

‘Steph! I need not say, that this account, preceded by none any better, makes me uneasy; nor shall I be otherwise, till I have heard from you - I do not ask for a long letter - it is quite unnecessary - You have better things to do - but you must really find time to tell me, I trust, that you and yours are going on well, and what you think of Mariana - she came to spend a few weeks with us here principally, as you know, to learn the better to forget much that had recently happened at Leamington I fear, the success was not abundant - the following passage in her last letter strikes me exceedingly, tho’ I did not notice it to her in any way - I had complained of a sentence respecting myself, which seemed xxxx unlike her usual manner - she says in excuse, “a feverish impulse now and then got the better of me ….. my heart has been at times so heavily sorrowful, that, had I not had pen, ink and paper to carry off a little of its burthen, the load would verily, I believe, have been too much to bear - I always felt relieved after writing to you” - One subject is, however, as far as possible prohibited - I have begged, and entreated, that, on this subject, I may neither be informed, nor consulted - I neither can, nor will interfere again to reason, or advise - I only ask to be left in ignorance, satisfied that, come what may, Mariana will find all she ought to find, and all she wants, in you - I am certainly anxious that things should bear a smooth surface to the world - God grant thy may! But keep a watchful eye upon your sister’s health - Do not let the burthen bear it down; - do not let it sink too low, to rise again - I told her, I should send you a copy of the account she gave of herself, and beg you to prescribe; yet tho’ I begged her to always apply to you in every case, I studiously avoided giving her reason to imagine, I should say a syllable to you respecting the state of her mind - So long as her health does not materially suffer, I am contented - but on this point, I am painff painfully anxious at present - …… You will be kindly interested to hear a much better account of my aunt, than, 2 or 3 months ago, I should have expected it possible to give - the climate has certainly had a good effect upon her - we have not called in any physician - She will not hear of it - says her bowels are well - nothing beyond this can be accomplished; and she will have no medical man, till fruit can no longer do instead of medicine - we have grapes, figs nearly as good as fresh in small boxes, pomegranates, excellent apples and pears, and oranges, and all kinds of nuts one ever heard of - dates capital - pressed fruits good beyond compare - in short, all sorts of confections as good and beautiful as art can make them - … Paris not so full as usual - La commerce ne vas pas bien - reports of robberies frighten some of the country families from coming - mention our loss of Table spoons I began to think we shall not move farther south - the journey would not suit my aunt - Paris the best town on the continent for a fixed residence - excellent markets - to the full as good butcher’s meat as anywhere in England, at 7d [pence] a lb [pound], except for that particular part under the ribs of a surloin [sic] of beef, which is always taken out here, unless by particular order, and sold at double that price we have - English medicines of all kinds, and English everything, down to windsor soap, and Warren’s blacking - Depend upon it, we shall have no war - Charles and his ministers have too much sense to send our people and their money home again - Paris is scarce like itself even since I first knew it, 7 1/2 years ago - ……. the chamber of commerce petitioned Monsieur de Villèle to petition the king to hold fast the blessings of peace; and the king, who I verily believe is sincere, says he has peace as much at heart as any one can have - we never were quieter - It seems there are apostolicals, congregationists, ultramontanists, or call them what you will, perhaps too many of them, about court; and the chamber of deputies, after meeting 3 days in

numbers too small to do business, is probably a little like a bean-garden now and then - But what of all this? we shall have no war - there maybe a few complaints of Mr Cannings “worse than haughty speech”; but England and Mr Canning, too, are hailed by the vast majority as the short anchor of all that is great and liberal; and Charles the 10th does not, in his heart, respect, or trust us less, because we wrap the mantle of our importance round us - Of course, you have heard in England of Memoires le Comte de Montlosier’s 2 volumes against the Jesuit - and - congregationist influence - they are well, and thoroughly written - too convincing not to be proscribed - But who is in fault? However, I do not trouble my head much about politics - As a stranger and sojourner in the land, it is enough to wish it well; and this I do with all my heart' -

mention the weather the comfort of the Tuileries gardens where one can read (ditto in the Luxembourg and palais royal gardens) the papers at 1 sol each -

'my aunt bids me give her best remembrances - As to walking, she is much as when we left Parkgate - Her extremities swell a little towards night, and are more swelled when she gets up - She says, her face, too, and eyes are swelled, on getting up in a morning - The cutaneous complaint on the top of her head, is more spreading and disagreeable, and shews itself in more frequent patches over the body - Her nerves are weak, but her spirits good - Doctor Lefevre, an English physician with a French name, says, he has known several such cases, and, from what he hears of my aunt, she may live this dozen years, and that Paris is the very place for her - Her appetite is certainly very good; and she eats as much has I should fancy good for her - Yet I cannot help fearing, it is not unlikely she should be dropsical by and by' -

will write to the Duffins when I have heard from Steph, ‘that I may take that opportunity of thanking you for your letter’ - From 8 3/4 to 10 1/2. wrote the whole of the above of today - Folded and directed my letters added to Steph (under the seal),

‘wafer the answer, if you please; and do not make a point of choosing your thickest paper’ -

Breakfast at 10 40/60 - took my aunt my letter to Mrs Lynn to read, and sent of this ‘A madame madame Lynn, Rue Royale Numero 17, Tours’ and my letter to ‘H S Belcombe Esquire MD Minster Yard, York, Angleterre’ at 11 1/4 - while at breakfast this morning musing over writing to Miss Yorke! Perhaps I shall write - At this moment I almost think I shall - at 11 20/60 begin to finish dressing - which took me till very near 12 - then wrote out a little of my literary index - from 12 20/60 to 1 20/60, read aloud the morning service and sermon 8 bishop Sandford - then talked 1/2 hour to my aunt, and went out at 2 - walked to the barriere de l’Etoile - thro’ it and along the outer boulevard to the 3me [troisième], of 12 pièces, in the 1st large house in the row, the next house (of this row) to the barriere - 2000/. a year - musing about it - rather too far - In returning went up the rue des Champs Elysées and rue de la Madeleine looking to see what apartments there might be to let - a few affiches, but nothing tempting - turned down the rue de Surèsne [Surène] to the Place de la Madeleine - walked leisurely along all the new buildings, then thinking I would try the nearest house 1st went in at a handsome porte cochère - the apartment au premier rather too small - one lodging room too little - another just the same au 3me [troisième] - could have one room more - saw the proprietaire - a gentlemanly sort of man, living au 3me [troisième] and keeping his livery servant and cabriolet - 1600/. a year - with the additional room 2000/. - asked if he had any objection to furnish for us - no! - went into his salon while he considered about it - his wife a nice looking, young person - he has a house in the country where he always goes in May, and could spare us furniture very well - he calculated - could not say quite exactly - would have me make a proposition - said I was about an apartment a premier, large as his with the additional room well furnished - they only asked 400/. a month - I had offered 350/. - perhaps they would take it - thought they would but not quite certain - suppose I said 250/. a month for his apartment - furnished with every thing but plate linen and porcelain - 2 caves and remise - and one or 2 servants rooms upstairs - He said he had refused several locataires because he wished to have quiet people as he had daughters - the house all let but the premier I had seen, and the 3me [troisième] - let to his friends - not an English person in the house - I would take it for a year certain - afterwards from 6 months to 6 months - Should probably stay in Paris as long as my aunt lived - here on account of her health - she could not bear the climate of country house in England - ætatis [aged] 62 - saw the cellars, coach house every thing - really very comfortable - west aspect towards the Eglise de la Madeleine - capital air, and plenty of free space - Monsieur seems anxious to do all he can to agree - Said I would consult my friends - promised to give him an answer at 12 on Tuesday - at this moment (5 25/60 p.m.) I cannot see how we can do better - good situation - just across the boulevard - very nearly opposite the rue neuve de Luxembourg where there is a stand of fiacres every thing convenient - got home at 4 3/4 - wrote the last 25 1/2 lines, and had just done them at 5 1/2 - If we had taken the apartment at 2000/. per annum he would have paid all taxes, and asked 100/. a year extra for éclairàge and the porter - (4/. a month for éclairàge) - making some little calculations - If we can get the apartment for 3000/. per annum, xxxx including porter, éclairage et every thing, i.e. would be 3000/. ÷ 52 = 57 francs 69 12/52 cents per week - George came at 5 50/60 to say dinner was ready - Dinner at 6 precisely - Came to the drawing room at 8, - having told my aunt all about the apartment - she is exceedingly pleased at the idea of our having to pay so much less rent and likes account of the apartment - made out the washing bills - wrote the last 4 lines all which took me till 9 - George has just brought me in the card of

‘Monsieur and Madame Charles Droz’ and ‘Mademoiselle Julie Droz’ - came to my room at 10 5/60 - very fine day -

Marginal Notes

[sideways] we must have carpets?

very fine, rather frosty Fahrenheit 47 at 8 10/60 a.m. 50 1/2 - 12 at noon 48 - 10 5/60 p.m.

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Saturday 30 December 1826

7

11/4

In my room at 8 50/60 - finished dressing - out at 8 50/60 - thro’ the gardens to the 1st Quincailler in the rue du Bac - chose two tea-kettles (at 12 and 13/.) to be brought this evening of which I would take one - read this morning’s Journal des Débats - sauntered up and down the main walk between the 2 fountains - came in at 11 - then breakfast - read Galignani of this morning all which took me till 12 1/2 - From 12 3/4 to 4 1/2 wrote 3 pp. [pages] and the ends to Steph - pretty close - copying the account Mariana gives of her health in her last, giving an account (pretty good) of my aunt, and filling up my letter with observations on this and that - shall have no war - send my love to the Duffins - thanks to Mr Duffin for his letter

‘and say I shall write one of these days…. my love to Harriet - If I do not write to her she must excuse me; for I rarely write when I can at all well avoid it - From you, I would, in this case, rather have 1/2 a dozen lines quickly, than twice as many of your best pp. [pages] (and your good are really good) in the course of 3 or 4 weeks - I am uneasy about Mariana; for she is less far from the mind than from the person of yours. my dear Steph, very faithfully AL -’

from 4 50/60 to 6 wrote 1 1/2 pp. [pages] to Mrs Lynn - Dinner at 6 10/60 - came into the drawing room at 8 - slept the greater part of the evening - Fine day - soft and mild - went to my room at 10 - they sent the kettles this evening - chose that at 13/. weighing 2lbs [pounds] 10 oz [ounces] therefore the copper at 2/50 a lb pound, one pays enough for the façon -

Marginal Notes

mild, soft morning

Fahrenheit 46o at 8 5/40 a.m. 49 - 12 1/2 p.m. 47 1/2 - 8 - 47 - 10 -

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Friday 29 December 1826

8

11 55/60

came to my room at 9 5/60 - finished dressing - breakfast at 10 1/4 - read the paper - wrote under the seal of my letter to Mariana a thermometical account of the weather with short observations from Friday 15th instante mense up to this morning at 11 a.m. and sent off my letter, 3 pp. [pages] the ends and under the seal all very small and close, to Mariana ‘Lawton Hall, Lawton, Cheshire, Angleterre’ at 11 35/60 - very affectionate letter - the world might read it, but there are a few sentences tho’ not too kind yet rather too explanatory - she will surely be satisfied on the subject of Miss MacLean say that it is clear comparisons I have made must have been in Mariana’s favour, or I should not have decided as I have done - Own my high admiration of Miss MacLean but ask am I certain that nearer intercourse could never lower her in my opinion? no! She herself often says and laments that my estimate is too high - Perhaps it may - perhaps it must be so - But I wish not to be undeceived - our relative situations do not require it - with Mariana how different! we must know each other as we are, that there may be no unreasonable expectations on either side which it would be impossible to fulfil - satisfied with what Mariana said at Manchester on leaving Buxton - she has ever since followed up the train of sentiment in word and deed, and it is enough - her mind takes a tone when with me of which perhaps she is not fully aware, and with which I am fully satisfied - she may mend the spell of romance, and make it as good as new again - she has nothing to fear, except in imagination from Miss MacLean or Mrs Barlow she needs not the assistance of the former, or of anyone to make me happy - she is all I wish her to be except in health - advise her to try the effect of wearing her stays looser - more than usual tightness may occasion the burning pain succeeded by sickness of which she complains thought of her on Xmas day - her letter had given me new life - ‘my child’ too childish - Mrs Barlow too dull’ - mentioned our dinner and how we had to wait - had had another talkation with MacDonald on Monday - had mentioned her taking the ale at Shibden - her prevarication - my loss of confidence - probable determination to talk to her no more - could scarce endure her - had told Miss MacLean of her being occasionally oddly confused whether from something on her mind or in her blood I could not tell - but we should go on as we did and begged her not to name it - tell Mariana what Madame Huchez’s young partner says - advise her to have 2 gowns - 1 brodée 1 plain - In conclusion add

‘I may and do lament that Fortune has denied me that which you most value on earth’ - (top of page 3 of Mariana’s letter) - ‘Do have the goodness to banish immediately from your mind so impudent an untruth - May I look within and around you then say who has a heart whose best affections are better returned than you own - who has made ampler means of being happy store your mind with firmness and with fortitude - elevate it by reflection and the love of right, and self-confidence will soon follow and, with it, that high, interior dignity which, after all, forever charms us most, and wins, even from the world, its warmest praises and its best esteem - Look Mary! Look within and around you - then say who has a heart whose best affections are better returned than your own - who has ampler means of being happy? - save in health, you are all that satisfies that one who is now and for ever very especially and entirely yours -’

Immediately after sending off my letter i.e. from 11 35/60 to 1 25/60 wrote all but the first 4 1/2 lines of yesterday and so far of today - From 1 1/2 to 2 10/60 making alterations in my general daybook on account of Mrs Barlow’s having some days since paid me the 3/60 for a fiacre entered Friday the 8th instante mense - I have had plenty of scratching out and altering in all my account books of this year - Surely I shall have less of this work in future - Mrs Barlow call at 1 50/60 shewn in to my aunt - went out at 2 35/60 - 10 minutes talking to my aunt and Mrs Barlow then went out with the latter - we walked to the barrière de l'Etoile - took a turn round the garden and grounds of Mont Etienne then a turn backwards and forwards in the avenue de Neuilly then to Quai Voltaire Numero 15 - Mrs Barlow walked back with me as far as the Bains Vigier on our side then I returned with her went upstairs with her to her room for 1/2 hour and got home in 1/4 hour at 6 10/60 -

we had in returning got on the subject of my giving her back her letters I plainly said I would not without she gave me mine she said I had promised I suspected her was unkind ungenerous &c [etcetera] &c [etcetera] she railed against π [Mariana] seeing her letters I told her a suspicious person was to be suspected I had thought ever since last night of her telling me about denying in three years that I had ever loved her she cried raved whined coaxed would turn back with me from her own fate she cried and roared all the way and we talked so earnestly the people must observe us when I went upstairs with her the scene continued I said I had suffered enough from letters mentioned the case of eliza raine and said we could not answer for ourselves then she wheedled and at last to get away more quietly I let her fancy she had perhaps persuaded me to let her keep her letters for me why so keep to have both mine and her own I will be determined she shall either return me mine or I will not return hers tis true I think I not nur prudent to trust her she may do as she likes I will be firm that it was of as much consequence to me as to her that π [Mariana] above all people should not see either her letters or mine it would make a pretty blowup if she did shall make this the means of shewing Mrs B [Barlow] she is merely as my mistress and that I am firmly bound to π [Mariana] what can the woman mean by all this raving she says she would not care what the world thought of but for janes ssake - in saying I should not like the chance of her aunts sseeing my letters my prejudice was against her she was too calculating she said she was now all my friend all for me for Mrs Bs [Barlow’s] taking me and not Mr Bell they are a queer set I think but I will have my letters or keep Mrs Bs [Barlow’s] in spite of all her tears and raving and coaxing -

Hurried home to Dinner - Dinner at 6 20/60 - went into the drawing room a little before 8 - fell asleep and slept till 10 - then came to my room - By the way Mrs Barlow asked me this morning to go to the Theatre Français with her and Jane and Monsieur and Madame Pouciègle which I declined - from 10 to 10 1/2 wrote the last 24 1/2 lines - very fine day -

Marginal Notes

Fine frostyish morning

Fahrenheit 40o at 9 5/60 a.m. 42 - 11 - 43 1/2 - 1 3/4 p.m. 46 - 2 1/4 - (darkish) 45 10 1/2 -

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Thursday 28 December 1826

6 3/4

1 3/4

my bowels quite right this morning - I do believe it was the tightness of my stays that disordered them - In my salon at 7 55/60 - from 8 to 10 20/60 writing to Mariana breakfast at 10 20/60 then read the whole of the paper of today and yesterday which took me till 12 - then finished dressing - at my desk again at 12 1/2 - 1/2 hour hour reading over all I have written to Mariana the whole 2 3/4 pp. [pages] very small and close - from 1 to 3 10/60 finished page 3, and wrote the ends of my paper very small and close to Mariana

then washed

&c [etcetera] went to speak to my aunt, and set off (to dine with Mrs Barlow) at 4 - I had before sent George with the remainder of the bonbons of Monday for Jane, and an iced plum cake (of 7/.) for Mrs Barlow on her birthday - she wondered why I had sent it - not obliged to me at all - I had sent a cake to Madame Galvani could not bear to be treated like other people - cared for nothing to eat - explained that it was customary enough to give a plum cake on a birthday - certainly had never dreampt that because I had sent a cake to Madame Galvani I therefore ought or ought not to send one to Mrs Barlow would do so no more - never ever give her anything eatable - Dinner at 5 1/2 or perhaps 5 3/4 - pear soup - vol au vent, filet de boeuf piqué, gateau de rie, and a crême glacé (ice) the four last from a traiteur and respectively 5/. 6/. 4/. and 5 or 6/. - for dessert a plate of raisins and blanched almonds, Saint Germain pears, at 4 sols each, little almondy drop cakes (stale) and rice and savoy biscuits - Beaune rouge at 4/. and claret from Madame Droz’s friend, Monsieur Lambert, at 3/. good of its kind - Madame Alexandre her late porter’s wife (her husband a joiner - ordered a pasteboard and rolling pin) retained to wait - what nonsense! and so I told Mrs Barlow who said she thought I liked a good dinner, and was determined to see what she could do -

it was meant to return the dinner she had with us I saw thro this the feeling was not thoroughly ladylike it had too much of the not bearing to be outdone and after all it was hugger poor madame ci devant porteress being shockingly gauche potter came in at first and set the dishes on wrong Mrs B hugged her and she appeared no more I cannot think Mrs B good tempered thought I all this would never suit me -

Jane had scarce swallowed her soup before she was called off to go to the play with the family below Monsieur and Madame and Madamoiselle Pouciègle - I took a little Beaune and water (very dear at 4/. like ours as well at 2/.) four glasses of the thin claret and we went to the drawing room at 6 3/4 - I had really had too much dinner and felt oppressed by it -

but she sat on my knee and I had soon the right middle finger up as usual and she said she came down better to me and felt more than she had yet done since my return tho she had been poorly all the week and thought she could do nothing for me she said she felt more when sitting on my knee when my thigh was next to her the feel of it went thro her -

we had tea about 8 -

then at her again then rested and at her again having latterly both second and first finger up being too full of dinner it was really an exertion to me and in fact the pleasure to me is no much merely the excitement of exciting her and having a woman to grubble who likes it so well I almost feel as much now at the moment of writing as when with her towards eleven she began to be pathetic and cry a little we must part she felt as a wife but what was she &c [etcetera] &c [etcetera] wanted her letters not safe with me surrounded as I was with friends alluded to π [Mariana] if I died my aunt would give her all my papers to read said I would pledge my existence that what ever might be π [Mariana] s curiosity I could leave one of Mrs Bs [Barlow’s] letters open before her a whole day and she would not read a line of it Mrs B [Barlow] said she was a woman and she would not believe said I come come give the devil his due she said I loved π [Mariana] might praise her as I liked but why should she Mrs B [Barlow] say what she did not think said I would give her her letters by and [by] she must give me mine no mine were quite safe her aunt was too blind could not read them nor would she if she could I thought they ought on both sides to be burnt Mrs B [Barlow] said mine could do no harm people might read and not understand them I protested they were such as only a husband would write but for myself individually I cared not the world would not blame me so much as Mrs B [Barlow] they would commit her much more than me I could not have written such without encouragement she said her aunt would forgive her if she knew what had passed but she would be angry at her going on with it when I was engaged to another but I had said we could not go on as we did and she had rather I sinned with her than with another ‘but if I have not your letters I have nothing three years hence you may say you never loved me you have your journal I could gain nothing by shewing your letters or boasting of you regard r love for me’ I merely answered no certainly not and declared it was impossible I could ever deny my regard for her but these words of hers ssand deep in my heart I mused on them all the way home and determined I never would give her her letters without getting back my own -

Jane returned at 11 40/60 - the poor girl had a wretched cold when she went and it seemed worse - took their fiacre (George had been waiting upstairs with Potter I know not how long perhaps an hour), and got home in 1/4 hour at 12 -

Mrs B [Barlow] forty today -

Dawdling and musing - very fine day -

Marginal Notes

very fine frostyish morning

Fahrenheit 37o at 8 a.m. 41 1/2 at 12 p.m. 41 1/2 at 3 1/2 p.m. 37 1/2 at 12 midnight

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Wednesday 27 December 1826

8 10/60

11 40/60

In my salon at 9 1/4 - finished dressing - ordered breakfast a few minutes earlier than usual, and sat down to it at 9 50/60 had done at 10 20/60 - then wrote the last 5 1/2 lines, and went out at 11 10/60 - talked a little to my aunt - She slept very well last night, but her hands and feet much swelled - she can scarce walk - her limbs not quite so well this last day or 2, but she is well of herself - complains that her head has been very bad lately - took the arms to Mellerio - thence along 

[inserted] went to the butcher’s - observed what a great difference between

[sideways up page] their weight and mine - Madame Rollard wisely said nothing but gave me very good weight this time went to the paper shop opposite - had not what I wanted -

the rue neuve Saint Augustin Passage Choiseul to numero 12 rue Sainte Anne - looked at work-boxes for my aunt to give MacDonald thence to Madame Huchez - can send quite well to London - will get there in about a fortnight - duty 30 per cent that and carriage and expense compris from here to London about 35 per cent - a gros de Naples brodé 250/. the broderie very dear - plain gros de naples 100 and some francs - the 2 fashionable colours moustre vert (a sort of chrisophraes [chrysophrase] green) and l’oiseau de paradis ‘jaune très léger says Madame Galvani avec un teint rougeâtre’ neither of which colours she added will suit your friend - bronze colour would suit her and it is très à la mode aussi - from Madame Huchez returned to Numero 12, and bought the work box at 11/. for which they had asked me 13/. but it is à bon marché, and I think they are honest people - they have bonbons, and only asked 6/. for what all the other people asked 8/. a lb [pound] got home at 1 40/60 - my aunt well satisfied with the box - had the meat (leg of mutton weighed) - paid for 3 14/60 lbs [pounds] and it weighed 4 lbs [pounds] - the woman was right to say nothing - many would have made excuses - said I was mistaken &c [etcetera] &c [etcetera] and lost my custom - Madame Rollard is no worse than all the rest, and she behaved so properly I am satisfied - expected the papetier rue de la paix Numero 11 to be very dear asked for letter paper at 5 sols the chahier and got at that price just what I wanted - I shall make this my shop in future - English people - have been there 6 years - then seeing an affiche on the other side after coming out of Mellerio’s, inquired - a premier the size of our apartment 800/. a month! - went out again at 1 50/60 into the gardens just to take a turn while Madame Galvani came - on turning off the Terrasse d’Eau espied Mrs Barlow and Jane - joined them -

foolishly took a little turn with them went to their new porters and they left me at my own door Mrs B [Barlow] said I had madame g [Galvani] twice a week and went to see her Mrs B [Barlow] once in ten days we argued it she wished she could be indifferent could feel like me &c [etcetera] &c [etcetera] has been ill this last week her liver - thought I to myself she would distract me with her jealousies she would have it she was not jealous she only loved me too well she had seen me on Monday yes but she was not satisfied with that thought I I will join you no more I will always sslink off I shall learn how to manage better by and by she does not go the way to get my society I see I shall be tired to death of her before I have done -

Got home at 2 3/4 - found Madame Galvani ‘ennuyée a crevet [crever]’ [bored to death] - promised not to be out when she came this day week, and very sorry at heart I had been goose enough to miss her so long today - she stayed till 3 20/60 - I will manage better another time - In returning from rue Sainte Anne I had asked the price of the copper kettle in the rue Dauphine - moderate size 18/. - too dear said Madame Galvani from 12 to 14/. ask the weight (the copper should be 2/50 a lb [pound]) and then you can judge what to give for the façon - got one ‘avec un four’ at the bottom that is, a continuation of the kettle-side below the bottom for it to rest on - wrote the last 30 1/2 lines, and had just done them at 4 3/4 -

then washed and changed my linen -

at 5 1/4 sat down to write a little to Mariana wrote about 1/4 page 2 very small and close - Dinner at 6 10/60 - Came into the drawing room at 7 40/60 - from 8 1/2 to 10 25/60 wrote the latter 3/4 page 2 and 5 1/2 lines of page 3 - went to my room at 10 1/2 - very fine day -

Marginal Notes

Fine frostyish morning

Fahrenheit 38 1/2 at 8 1/4 a.m. 42 1/2 at 4 p.m. 41 1/2 at 10 1/2 p.m.

SH:7/ML/E/10/0036 & SH:7/ML/E/10/0037

Tuesday 26 December 1826

7 3/4

11 1/2

the washerwoman came at 8 - some time settling with her - then washed, and came to my salon at 9 1/4 - finished dressing settled with George - then from 10 1/4 to 12 1/2 breakfast (breakfast at 10 1/4) read the whole of yesterday’s paper (no paper today yesterday being Xmas day) - and wrote the last 8 1/2 lines of page 65, the whole of the last page and so far of this - 3/4 hour seeing what I have to do, and what to pay today &c [etcetera] &c [etcetera] - went out at 1 1/2 - paid Michel’s bill for Madame Galvani’s cake 3 1/4 lbs pounds 6/50 - for that I mean to give Mrs Barlow less but glacé (iced) 7/. &c [etcetera] &c [etcetera] very nice biscuits at 1/50 a lb [pound] and what we should call Prince of Wales’s biscuits at 2/. - met a man with some very nice bread - large square sort of loaves at 1/80 from rue de la Michodière Numero 1 - left with Mellerio one of the porter’s table spoons as a pattern and ordered 6 like it, will be about 21/. each the initial M engraving included so that with the façon at 12/. for the whole I shall [have] them for about or under 150/. Ordered 6 teaspoons for ourselves will be about 40/. and with engraving and façon between 50/. and 60/. - thence to Bertaud rue neuve des petit champs - ordered brown sugar &c [etcetera] - thence to Madame Coutart - she had not got my note from her workwoman - would not be more than 7/. for doing up my old merinos - her rooms so hot durst not stay, returned by the Passage Saint Roch, and the arcades, and got home at 2 55/60 - It had begun to rain small rain before I got to Bertrauds, before 2, but now at 3 20/60 is apparently fair, tho’ rain is thick and damp - wrote the last 9 1/2 lines - 20 minutes calculating what expenses I ought not to exceed per week from now till 5 February - Considering the stock of things on hand and not meaning to buy anything in the shape of furniture, except what is ordered, I ought for these few weeks to keep under 35/. - at 3 3/4 turned to Mariana’s letter - till 4 25/60 carefully reading it over and marking what I shall observe upon From 4 1/2 to 6 wrote very near a page very small and close to Mariana Dinner at 6 10/60 - came into the drawing room at 7 40/60 - settled my accounts -

washed and changed my napkin a little after five in my absence left the napkin rolled up on the table beside me and there it lay when george came in for my writing box my manner was as if nothing was the matter -

Damp, thick after but not raining - sleepyish after sitting up so late last night, shall go to my room now at 9 40/60 - I have finished page 1 to Mariana and written a line of page 2, but cannot write more now - too heavy and sleepy - came to my room at 9 50/60 - up so long weighing the sugar &c [etcetera] Bertraud sent this evening - this sugar 2 oz [ounces] short of 6 lbs [pounds] i.e. 2 oz [ounces] less than it ought to be - the lb [pound] of rice and ditto of pearl barley fair good weight - weighed the iced plum cake (for Mrs Barlow) 2 lbs [pounds] 14 oz [ounces] How pay 7/.? Do they charge more on account of the icing? Surely it ought to be only 2/. a lb [pound]! - then made myself some lemonade being thirsty, and having a little of that indigestion pain -

Marginal Notes

fine frosty morning

Fahrenheit 35 1/2 at 9 1/4 a.m. 37 1/2 at 12 1/2 p.m. 39 1/2 at 3 1/2 p.m. 38 at 9 50/60 p.m.

SH:7/ML/E/10/0036

Monday 25 December 1826

7

2 50/60

my bowels wrong again this morning

two or three little hard lumps but never a black bad colour -

In my salon at 8 - Breakfast at 10 1/4 in 20 minutes before and after wrote my 3 letters and looked over my summarys and made a careful calculation of my probable expenses till after the midsummer, to know that I had ordered enough in directed Messers to remit £400 to Messers Hammerly & Company - at 11 1/2 sent off (having copied them all) my letters to ‘Messers Rawson bankers, Halifax, Yorkshire, Angleterre’ to Mr James Briggs, Ward’s end, Halifax, Yorkshire Angleterre’, and to ‘Messers Hammersleys & Company Bankers, Pall Mall, London Angleterre’ - then at a 1/4 before 12 read my letter which came from Mariana (Lawton), about 11 - 3 pages and the ends and under the seal - very small and close -

enclosing the one half of a ten pounds bank of england note -

I like not the account of herself - her pages are all I wish - more of them when I have more leisure - ‘Tis 12 10/60 - I must finish dressing - I must go out - I am very bilious this morning, the 1st time since I have been in Paris! - We must have prayers this morning - I like not having all this to do on Xmas Day - it must not be again - If we rejoice we must have time to say our prayers first - just finished dressing and wrote the last 2 lines at 12 3/4 - went to speak to my aunt a little, and then went out about 1 1/4 - called at Michel’s (the pastry cook’s), thence to rue du Marché Saint Honoré bought a French (i.e. long shaped) butter pot, and then at the fruiteriers over the way not choosing to give 0/80 for a cauliflower bought a pound (at 0/70) Brussels which on seeing them at the table, found would have been enough for twice - In returning along the rue Saint Honoré bought 10 at two sols, flat sausages (8 would have been quite enough) and 2 little round Neufchatel cheeses, and brought all these things home under my shawl - then went back to Michel’s, and got wine a glass of madeira (at 0/50) for pudding sauce to which, said he, add a tablespoonfull of brandy (just give it a warm and shape-up in the sauce but dont let it boil) and it will give it the taste of almonds and make it very good - so it would had MacDonald managed it properly - but it was too thick - too puddingy - brought this home - talked a little while to my aunt, then (there being no chance of reading prayers George and MacDonald so busy! MacDonald is to my mind a sad daudle) at 2 55/60 went to Michel’s for the sugared plum cake I had chosen for Madame Galvani put it under my shawl, went thro’ the gardens and got it safe to Madame Galvani on opening it, found it not the glazed, but the plum cake we were to have ourselves - thro’ a mistake about these cakes I had a larger (3 1/4 lbs pounds) plum cake at home - Madame Galvani chose this (for I would make her choose) as being the largest and, after sitting about an hour with her returned and found her ‘Harlequin’ Ellen, or Hélène, her countrywoman, waiting to exchange the cakes - In returning bought 2 small oranges at Gilbert’s at 0/25 each, having been asked 7, 8, 12 sols elsewhere for what would not have suited me better - Got home at 4 1/2 - Sent off the cake - then set out the dessert - had George in and told him how it was to be put on the table - Dawdling over all this to which I am so little inclined or accustomed took me an hour - then changed my dress - Mrs Barlow and Jane arrived exactly at 6 - I went to them at 6 10/60 - found them all sitting over a bad fire in darkness - the 8 candles (tallows) put in the candelabra not being lighted - I would have had wax but thought it best not to alarm my aunt who would have taken fright at the idea of the expense - (I shall burn those I have for myself in my own salon) - waited till 6 50/60 then summonsed the soup -  from the time of taking this away to bringing the plum pudding was an hour - she would weary me to death - impossible to have anyone to Dinner - she had no judgement - had down all the sausages, and all the Brussels sprouts, and thus filled the dishes to absolute vulgarity - the pudding so stiff I could scarce get the spoon into it - the sauce like a thin batter - the soup ordered to be gravy soup looking like hare soup, thick, and anything but what it ought to be - the fire had been suffered to out in the stove, and Mrs and Miss Barlow were shivering - the bottle of Champaigne after getting the porter’s pliers to untwist the wire, was perfectly dead - the bottle of Lafitte tolerable merely tolerable - the Dessert could not fail to be good - 32 roasted chesnuts, plum cake (on the top of which I had stuck the very pretty and excellent 5 branches of artificial sugar strawberries and raspberries on stalks with green leaves) stewed pears, 6 oranges, plate of Craesanne and Saint Germain pears, 1 pound raisins, 1/2 pound almonds in the shell, 3/4 pound bonbons, and 1 pound (all but 2 or 3 cakes) of abricots faigrés - the dinner MacDonald was so long about was merely soup, roast beef, sausages upon mash potatoes potatoes browned under the meat, and Brussels sprouts - having waited so long, the cheese and cold butter were never put upon the the table - we left the dining room at 9 25/60 - had tea at 10 - and the plate came and macarons and cold bread and butter - Mrs and Miss Barlow stayed till 12, then went away in a fiacre I having sent George to order it - Jane is excessively childish looking to Mamma as if before she knew whether to take a thing or not, Mamma is a dull companion for a Xmas party -

nor is she a thorough gentlewoman in her manners ssomehow there was a something about her at table in her manner of helping or attending to my aunt I did not admire

on shewing Mrs Barlow the teapot &c [etcetera] &c [etcetera] I had bought she said thought my great pleasure was to spend my money -

I would not have her give nor thrown after me I have made this same observation before since π [Mariana] went in either respect nor in any way admire Mrs B [Barlow] she is only fit for home and there she would mope me to death -

On coming to my room at 12 1/4 put by all the fragments of the dessert into my store cupboard - Dawdling over 1 thing or other -

having eaten more than usual felt as if I could have a motion did a very little then sat on the pot quarter in vain -

this Xmas day has neither been well nor happily spent - Mariana observed perhaps the next Xmas may be spent in different society - would it may be better spent, and spent with her! -

just before getting into bed found my cousin come -

Marginal Notes

Very fine frostyish morning

Fahrenheit 36o at 8 a.m. 39 at 12 3/4 p.m.

SH:7/ML/E/10/0035 & SH:7/ML/E/10/0036

Sunday 24 December 1826

7 5/60

11 35/60

not a large motion this morning but a right sort of one

In my room at 8 10/60 - finishing dressing - read a few pages covered up my fire and went out at 9 10/60 - walked to the barriere de l’Etoile - went up this side, returned down the other and en passant seeing an affiche at numero 9 Avenue de Neuilly (where Mrs Grieves lived 4 years ago) went in to look at the apartment au 2nde [deuxième] a poor brick-floored furnished apartment of dining room and drawing ditto and 2 bed rooms small and kitchen and 2 servants rooms at 400/. a month, but would take 300/. now! - It began to rain a little just before I got home - came in at 10 1/2 - Bertraud sent the sugar loaf (extra good, from Orleans, at 1/45 a pound) 13 1/2 pounds a little damp from being brought in the rain yet 2 ounces underweight! - Breakfast at 10 50/60 - I weighed both the sugar and almonds myself - read a little more (altogether) from page xxxix to lvii introductory pages to Montlosier’s Dénonciation - went in to prayers at 12 1/4 - read aloud the morning service and sermon 7 bishop Sandford and came back to my room at 1 20/60 - no speck  of fire - relighted it myself with a few matches - wrote the above of today which took me till 2 - whilst out this morning observed the baker’s cart of Monsieur Boullot? rue saint Honoré Numero 77 ‘Boulanger aux Princes’ French and English bread and muffins - I will see some day what sort of shop it is -

from two and a quarter to three and a half writing the rough copy of three letters to both my bankers and to Mr James Briggs to go tomorrow -

From 3 50/60 to 5 1/4 made out and wrote the last week’s summary and had the good fortune to get it right at first without unnecessary trouble - from 5 1/4 to 6 made out a wine account number of bottles we have received and returned and when - Dinner at 6 10/60 - came into the drawing room a little before 8 - sat talking about 1/2 hour - then read the whole of yesterday’s paper, and wrote out the washing bills for tomorrow - came to my room at 10 5/60 - Damp muggy morning - walked with my umbrella up - a little rain just before I got home and rain more or less afterwards almost all the rest of the day - Fair in the evening -

Marginal Notes

Damp muggy morning

Fahrenheit 44 1/2 at 8 1/4 a.m. 46 at 10 1/2 a.m. 45 1/2 at 12 1/4 p.m. 46 at 2 p.m. 43 at 6 p.m. 41 at 10 5/60 p.m.

SH:7/ML/E/10/0035

Saturday 23 December 1826

7 24/60

10 40/60

my bowels quite right this morning

as good or a better motion than yesterday after the magnesia

yesterday and Thursday I had my new lace of 3 ells, and my stays quite loose, and had not that heavy pain at the pit of my stomach - I put on a tight cinture yesterday to go out and felt a little of the pain - took it off when I came in at 4, and felt quite relieved - I am now almost convinced that all this disorder this obstinacy in my bowels and pain at the pit of my stomach has been solely caused by my being too tight, tho’ other people would have thought my things quite loose - I cannot bear any tight ligature round me - Query Had all Norcliffe suffered from obstinacy in his bowels originated in too tight dressing - many of our dandies and many ladies have surely suffered exceedingly from this cause? Can it be now the case with Mariana for she, too, complains and tho’ she looks better may not feel better in her French stays? Finished dressing (came to my room at 8 25/60) dawdling over 1 thing or other till 9 3/4

weighing currants raisins &c [etcetera] musing on what my aunt said last night well I had said I to myself as on getting up providence orders best but I think it would alarm me more to be persuaded my aunt would live a dozen years than that she should be ill now I can never get out of hugger mugger during her life and at least for the present I will be contented to save my money by it it shall not be for nothing no more thinking to get nice little things nothing but what is necessary unless my aunt asks for it herself remember all this -

the 4 coquillard pears I have just sent to my aunt to be stewed weigh 2 pounds 10 ounces - wrote the above of this morning and had just done it at 10 1/4 - Breakfast at 10 1/4 - I had hardly sat down for breakfast when the wine came I ordered yesterday - paid for it - had not time to read the paper - breakfast over at 11 - went to speak to my aunt - she had sent back 3 of the pears because they were a little decayed - said they had best be used - I cared not for the appearance whether cut in quarters or not - would rather have the better pears afterwards - settled my accounts - looked over my money - the man (brother to Mrs Barlow’s porteur d’eau) brought the charcoal - paid him for this sack and the last, saying the servant only paid 0/70 a sack for bringing and I paid 0/75, so that he gained 2 sols by my paying him myself - Had the meat weighed by George 1 1/2 pound beef suet and 2 pounds gravy beef good weight - 7 3/4 pounds côtes de boeuf (all weighed separately) weighed 7 pounds 6 ounces instead of 7 12 (vide page 58, line 16. Monday last) - this surprises me - did not see it weighed - but have no doubt George would be correct for he said he had put the 2 ounce weight to the meat to make it weigh 1 1/2 pounds - a little before 2 Mellerio’s man brought the plate - 6 grands couverts i.e. 6 tables spoons and 6 forks weighing 4 m[arc] 1 oz [once] 1 1/2 gr[ain] 228/. façon 24/. engraving the arms 12/. = 264/. 2 salt spoons 9/= ‘1 Pince à sucre’ 1 pair sugar nippers 14/. engraving the arms on the 3 last articles 3/. - paid the bill - Mellerio it seems sells knives, the best at 40/ and so[me] franks the dozen - wrote the whole of this page - entered the bill in my accounts - all which took me till 2 40/60 -

cut my nails and

went out at 3 10/60 to our milk woman (cul de sac Monthabor [Mont Thabor] Numero 8) to desire we might 1/2 our milk tomorrow and the other 1/2 sent with the usual quantity on Monday - thence thro’ the gardens to Legrand’s rue du Bac for the kitchen carving knife - not done - will bring it tomorrow - thence sauntered farther along the street to beyond the rue de l’université in returning along the opposite side went into Bacquoy’s confiseur Numero 17 - pointed to some pressed apricots I thought she said 3/50 a pound at first; at all rates she changed to 6/. a pound - gave it up, but as they had given me one to taste took a small orange at 5 sols - ate it there - not very good - she would let me have the apricots at 5/. offered 4/50 they looked at and nudged one and another, and took my price - Looked sharply after them in the weighing - hardly weight - seemed too few for a plat - would have abricots baiuguès [faigrés] (little round cakes of sugared apricot excellent) obliged to give 5/. for this - (they asked 6/. at first), and took 1/4 pound bonbons à devise at 4/. - thought when I have all my accounts &c [etcetera] arranged and can turn my mind fairly to the language I will be up to all these people - Before getting to the end of the street saw a man put down 2 sols for roasted chesnuts - I never spoke, but did the same, and the man gave me 1/4 litre very nice and hot and good - I paid yesterday (for rather better) 25 sols a hundred at Numero 353 rue saint Honore (a large handsome shop) and the woman had asked me 2/. for the same only a day or 2 before - there is no knowing when and where to believe ones fairly dealt with - got home at 4 1/2 - a young woman waiting with pot au crème from Numero 1 rue du Marché Saint Honoré whence George had brought the dish at 2/90 - this woman seems as honest as any I have met with - but George gave her the address this afternoon - I hope this will not spoil her - To be English and have a good apartment au 2nde [deuxième] in this quarter is dangerous - Had George in - sent him à la Halle about 12 1/2 - He had not returned when I went out - but did very well - bought a boisseau of potatoes for 0/45 1/2 boisseau navets de Fraeneuse 0/30 Botte de carottes 0/20 idem de céléri 0/15. very well - prepared for dinner wrote the last 18 1/2 lines, and had just done at 5 3/4 - By the way had a letter from Mrs Lynn this morning with the Tours postmark (about 12) - I was too busy to open it - 2 pages ‘deeply sensible of your kind letter and all the excellent advice it contained’ soon after she last wrote Miss Lynn became so ill could not leave Tours - has taken the best apartments there, and do all possible to keep up an equal climate with in doors - Doctor Conolly says there is much in her ‘situation to give great alarm as to the result, but he says there are some favourable circumstances in her case which gives him great hopes that at present no material injury has taken place in her lungs - the cough however continues to be very troublesome’ - poor Mrs Lynn seems prepared to expire! - she is ‘afraid she cannot be reared’ but writes of it with extra resignation - ‘must bow in submission’ - admits no one - ‘so exhausted with misery and suffering’ could not bear the effort of receiving anyone - sleeps in her daughter’s room - never leaves her - surely this is an amiable excellent woman! I will answer her letter kindly, bidding her write to me unless she really feels disposed to do so - reading my letter and writing the last 10 1/2 lines took me till 6 - Doing I know not what till dinner at 6 20/60

put on napkin just before I went out fancying my cousin was going to come gently but no such thing

came into the salon at 7 50/60 - blew up the fire - sat down at my desk at 8 1/2 - previously weighed the pound of tea I got this day week rue des Lombards 1/4 ounce overweight - settled my accounts which and calculating 1 thing or other took me till 10 - Rainy morning - fair before noon - by 11 - but very damp - fair but damp the rest of the day - went to my room at 10 10/60 -

Marginal Notes

rainy morning

Fahrenheit 42o at 8 1/2 a.m. 42 at 2 p.m. 44 at 6 p.m. 44 at 10 1/4 p.m.

SH:7/ML/E/10/0034 & SH:7/ML/E/10/0035

Friday 22 December 1826

7 1/4

11 50/60

the magnesia does very well for me, not acting too much like medicine - In my salon at 8 5/60 - fine morning finished dressing - at my desk at 8 55/60 - finished my letter to Miss MacLean (vide yesterday) wrote the 2nd end and much under the seal, and a few lines across one end, all very small and close - what I extracted yesterday took up about the latter 1/3 page 1 and 1/2 page 2 - the following is about 1 or nearly 2/3 of page 3 after promising to write regularly I go on to observe 

‘you give me no hope of seeing you here - you doubt whether you should like Paris in ‘my way’ as I do - what way is that? Perhaps you mistake it a little - I am sensible of the merits of the place for edification, and amusement, and salubrity, and the general purposes of living in all the comfort that money can purchase - but I am patriot still, and British to the bone - were it not for my aunt, I should have no thought of settling here - But what can I do? we sometimes talk of going farther south - The question is whether, when it comes to the part, my aunt can bear the journey? - I know not what to think - On leaving England and on arriving here, her life seemed not worth 1/2 a years purchase - Since writing to you last, she has changed so wonderfully for the better, she may continue for a dozen years - The climate has been of very great service, and till this last day or 2, she was really as she said, quite well - Even now that she cannot walk about quite so well, it seems merely a temporary effect of the weather - we had had a little sleet and drizzling rain all the morning, the 1st time we have had the 1st appearance of snow in its smallest shape - One might have hitherto walked, and sat out in the Tuileries gardens every day excepting 1 or 2 rainy days - and one might indeed, have walked there well enough this afternoon - I was not aware of having given you to understand that, in the event of anything happening to my aunt, I should positively and immediately return to England - She has desired to be interred here; and this might, or might not, according to circumstances, make so little difference - Be this as it might, you would probably see me soon - At present, however, I have not, as before, this to muse upon; for my aunt, tho’ very infirm, appears in no sort of danger - It is extraordinary that my 2 letters should give such opposite accounts - but such is the fact, a fact certainly beyond my calculation when I wrote to you last - ‘I am happy MacDonald still pleases’ - this sentence struck me at the time, and strikes me now - were we on terms more formal, I should still be cautious what I replied to this, grateful always for the Trouble you took for me; but, as it is, I shall write exactly what I think at present - It was difficult to find such a person as we wanted, without some fault or other, or if not a fault, some failing in what we wished for - I begrudge spending much paper on such a subject, especially as, on the whole, we go on pretty well - My aunt sometimes complains of carelessness on the part of MacDonald, and that she seems as if she did not always know what she was about - there are 2 things I have never named to my aunt, Miss Reed’s last letter (on her return from Bath) and a circumstance that occurred at Shibden - I have more than once spoken seriously to MacDonald I abominate what looks like prevarication and since a talkathon last Monday, I have had less confidence in her than ever - Her head is certainly not clear at all times - whether she has any thing on her mind, or any thing in her blood to confuse it, I know not - She is always very obliging, and cooks for us very nicely, and can do quite well for my aunt - Had she never the appearance of being so oddly confused, she might be invaluable - I shall probably speak to her no more - She is not in my province - Enough - It is probable you do not give me much credit for knowing how to manage woman servants - Mrs Lawton could no more understand her than myself - Perhaps if you were here, you might excuse us both - But breathe not a word of all this - we shall go on as we do, - well enough - and you shall give me a practical lesson 1 of these days in housekeeping, which, by the way, pothers me not a little just now’ - 

….. Breakfast at 10 20/60, read about 1/2 the paper, and had done all the above of today at 11 1/4 - ‘How do you and Mr Lawton agree? ‘I thought you did not at all like him’ there was a time when we did not agree; but we both thought better of it, and agreed to agree in future - He does not like York, so never goes there’ - Say we shall change our apartment - on account of ‘a kitchen 2 stories above us - bells that the servants cannot hear &c [etcetera] &c [etcetera]’ - altogether a very long, kind letter - sent it off at 11 1/2 to ‘Miss Maclean of Coll, Tobermory, N.B. Ecosse’ - Settled my accounts - dawdling over 1 thing or other - took George and went out at 1 3/4 - went to the potshop rue Saint Honoré numero 357. ask 5/. for basket panier de couteaux rue du marché Saint Honoré Numero 42. the woman asked George 3/. for it the other day - asked me 1/50, and I could get it for no less but could have had the other set for 1/25 at another shop merchancer the rue neuve des petit champs when I bought the large vegetable basket sometime since - thence to Bertaud rue neuve des petit champs Numero 33 - nice little pot of marmalade oil abricots very good à 1/50, but did not buy it - Roquefort cheese 2/. a lb very good - from de Parma (Parmesan) 2/40 a lb - thence to Berthellemot Palais royal for bonbons - Chinois &c [etcetera] 6/. a lb. all things of this kind 6/. a lb - said I had paid only 5/. - they declared it could not be - bonbons 6, 8, 10, 12/. a lb. - they said at last ‘nous arrangerons’, but I walked off determined to try elsewhere - bonbons 8, 10 and 12/. in the rue de Richelieu - just before coming to Saint Roch very nice figs in a little box at 2/. a lb. might have the box for 3/. allowing 2oz for the weight of the box - stopt at no. 334 and bought the plaqué tea-pot (vide line 7 page 60) for 29/. then got a little porcelaine sucrier à l’Anglais made me 1/75 tho’ only asked me 1/50 in the morning and another blue finger glass at the cheating pot-shop Numero 357 (rue Saint Honoré) and then some oranges and marrons, numero 353, and sent George home - I called at Melleriod about the plate, and bought some bombons à 8/. à la Belle Angelique Numero 25 Boulevard des Italiens - the boy followed me home with them - came upstairs at 4 - Dawdling over 1 thing or other (seeing that my money was right) till 4 20/60 then thro’ the gardens to the Faubourg Saint Germain to order wine chez meurice Numero 21 rue des petit pères - went up the rue des augustins almost to the end of the street then turned back a got right - ordered 2 dozen macon for the servants at 1/05, and 1 dozen for ourselves (red Beaune) and 1 bottle white Beaune à 2/. a bottle and 1 bottle Champaigne à 4/. and 1 ditto Bordeaux Lafitte à 4/. to come tomorrow morning - Got home (thro’ the place du carrousel) at 5 1/4 - Dawdling over 1 thing or other till dinner exactly at 6 - shewed the teapot &c [etcetera] - she hoped 1 could afford it - on telling the cost she was satisfied -

on speaking afterwards of the dessert she said it was all for Mrs B I said I would have as much every day for only myself with my own consent and if π [Mariana] came and I hoped she would manage it so we might have nine plates of dessert without costing very much my aunt only hoped that what ever I did I should manage to have a few franks for her to go out airing in the summer I said this sstruck me exceedingly she should always have as many franks for this purpose as she chose I would order no more about the table I had meant to agree for her to have the carriage twice a week it was she who prevented me she saw she hat touched a tender cord and began to lament her always ssaying what she thought it was all for my sake and she was crying but I told her what she had said she would know must strike me if she thought about it a minute I would rather go without dessert all my life than abridge her of the carriage or anything else I would rather be hundred more in debt she dried up her tears and we talked of macd our now frequent subject thought I to myself well no more thought beyond what is absolutely necessary I will save my money said I would not interfere about the table I see I had best make up my mind to a little more hugger mugger than necessary to enter into society it out of the question remember save my money and do not fidget my aunt by attention to desserts and appearances of this ssort I had thought of getting better teacups I shall give it up and will spend as little as I can begged my aunt to order the carriage whenever she liked - but we were very harmonious afterwards -

at Michel’s this morning as my eye casually glanced over the order book I saw an order for the Tasburghs rue Royal Numero 13 - from 9 1/4 to 10 wrote the last 38 lines - wrote a little note this morning to Mrs Barlow to ask her to order more charcoal for us. George took the note after leaving me - the charbonier chanced to call this evening to inquire if we wanted any - ordered it for tomorrow - we consume a sack i.e. 12 boisseaus in 3 weeks - charcoal 9/. charbonier for bringing 14 or 15 sols - made minutes of what I have to go tomorrow. no time to settle my accounts tonight - go to my room at 10 1/2 very fine day - O [two dots, marking discharge]

extraordinary my cousin does not come ought to have been with me wednesday week -

[Margin] ver[y] fine mild morn[in]g F40 at 8 1/4 a.m. 44o at 12 1/2 p.m. 41o - 6 - - - 10 1/2 -

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Thursday 21 December 1826

7 1/4

11 3/4

quarter hour on the pot and only parted with one or two little hard knobs tried again afterwards with no better success

came to my room at 8 20/60 - finished dressing

then tried again and did a little good -

I really must think of some plan for the permanent relief of my bowels - I must be in earnest and prepare myself by medicine, and then try a few warm baths - I have felt my stays rather too tight of late - yesterday they were as slack as the lace of 2 ells would permit. I bought one of 3 ells yesterday, and am trying it today, and feel certainly not tight at all - How will this affect me? I felt less pain and oppression at the pit of my stomach yesterday than I had done for some days before - stood a little musing over my fire - then at 9 10/60, took up

[sideways in margin] Borrowed off Madame Coutart Monday 18 December

Dénonciation aux Cours Royales, relativement au système   religeux et politique signalé dans le mémoire à consulter; précédée de nouvelles observations sur ce système, et sur les apologies qu‘on en a récemment publiées. Par M. Le Comte de Montlosier. Paris. Ambroise Dupont et Cie, Libraires, rue Vivienne, Numero 16, en face de la rue Colbert Baudouin frères, Libraires, rue de Vaugirard, Numero 17. 1826. Imprimerie de J. Tastu, rue de Vaugirard, Numero 36 1 vol 8vo octavo pp. [pages] 336. exclusive of 64 introductory pp. [pages] -

and read the 1st 38 pp. [pages] of the introduction page 29 in defending ? against M. de Bonald, he well obs? ‘je lui‘rappellerai que, si en principe de médecine, de toutes les satiétés, celle du pain est la plus ‘fâcheuse, en fait de morale, la corruption du bien est ce qui’il y a de pire, corruptio optimi pressima’. Breakfast at 10 1/2 - before and after read the whole of Galignani and wrote the above of today which took me till 12 - Had the butter weighed - the woman gives good weight at all rates - 2oz over the 2lbs! this was more than I expected mended my pen and from 12 1/4 to 6 10/60 wrote 3 pp. [pages] and one end very small and close to Miss MacLean - Dinner at 6 20/60 - came into the drawing room at 7 35/60 - sat talking to my aunt till 8 3/4 -

we now principally talk of macd [MacDonald] -

speaking or rather alluding to Miss Miss Maclean, disquietudes (about 2/3 of the way down my 1st page) wrote as follows

‘Do calmly, and quietly, what you can, and, in all due resignation, leave the rest to Heaven - would not your Quaker argue thus? Yet perhaps we may pursue different roads, tho’, surely, we both make for the same object, ‘a conscience void of offence’, and peace within ourselves - ‘He is a curiosity’ no! no! Sibbella - or, at least, there are many such curiosities; and it may be that ‘the deep interest he takes in all your family may be connected with another interest which you yourself are not yet interested enough to discover - I wonder not at your sister-in-law - She judged as most other people would have done, and as it is generally safest to judge in such a case - I do not mean to say, it cannot be, ‘that a man and woman can have a friendship without some warmer feeling creeping in’; but I do mean to say, that it is a circumstance of very rare occurance, and one upon which very few ladies, being parties concerned, can judge fairly - At all rates, a friendship of this  kind does not look the less suspicious for being friendship at 1st sight, and sedulously followed up by the gentleman with all his choiceiest yet most powerful artillery of insinuation, in spite of his utter want of all the sanctions of time family acquaintance, obligation of any sort - Sibbella! Does not such friendship remind one a little of that fancy which often guides the heart too [?] and too late, we scarce know how or why? But, be this as it may, a man of refinement never begins by making love to a woman of sense - ‘tis friendship first, and last, and always; for all the best of human tenderness can couch itself in friendship - what but such friendship, in this enlightened, reasoning, calculating age, inspires an interest so deep, so sudden, so gratuitous? so long as man is perfectly free from every ramification of that peculiar feeling which softens all the intercourse of life, so long he seeks his fellow man, and, save from the tie of consanguinity a gratitude, troubles himself but little to count the need of female praise, or waste the midnight oil in closely writing pp. [pages] to some female friend whose interest cannot serve his views in life - man seeks not woman till she throws her magic spell around him; and this the heart, not the mind, that bids him do her homage - amid a life of important occupation, where a family looks up to us for protection and support, and where, if we have leisure, we ought to be covetous of it, I cannot imagine any man writing ‘admirable sermons’, hours long, to any woman whom he singled out from the rest on board a steam packet, to feel for her and all her family ‘deep interest’, and all this for what you mean by friendship’s sake - Forgive me, Sibbella - I am not quizzing you - I am merely telling you what most men would tell you, who were sufficiently interested about you to tell you what they really thought at the risk of incurring your displeasure - I fear, you will be angry with me; but let me plead the goodness of my intention, and five years of tried regard - I have always thought on this subject as I think now; and have occasionally hinted my opinion before; but I have not had so good an opportunity of saying that your sister-in-law would have the world on her side; and ‘tis probable that, of all your friends who know the circumstance as well as I do, I quiz you the least - Against you, the smile of ridicule can never find a place upon my lip - You are too high in my esteem and regard - my friendship is too sincere, too affectionate - were it less so, I could not write even such letters as mine; and if they are ‘not half so smally written’ as some others you receive, what must be the friendship of him who writes those others?’

from 8 3/4 to 10 20/60 wrote the last 33 1/2 lines - Rainy, sleety morning - the 1st appearance of snow in any shape, I have noticed here this season - rain and sleet till 2 or 3 p.m. afterwards damp but tolerably fair for a while - a little rain in the evening - went to my room at 10 25/60 - Took 2 teaspoonfuls of magnesia in the juice of 1/2 a lemon, and broke the bottle in tieing the leather over the stopper, it slipt out of my hand on the marble top of my drawers -

[Margin] small rain and sleet F36o at 8 20/60 a.m. first appearance of snow F36o at noon. 39o - 6 10/60 p.m. 40 1/2 - 10 25/60 -

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Wednesday 20 December 1826

7 5/60

11 35/60

In my room at 8 10/60 - my bowels getting wrong again - ‘tis extraordinary - what can it be that disagrees with and makes them in this obstinate way? Is it that I live too much à l’Anglais for the climate?

I would willingly do otherwise but how can I with my aunt I often think of her words once or twice before my uncle died ‘I may live to tire you’ but providence orders all things wisely and for the best I am certainly not so comfortable now as I fancy I could be I do not like macdonald and she is of little use to me in fact I have to dress and undress myself and often feel forlorn for want of someone george does his best and we could not now perhaps do without him but he is not the sort of servant I should choose he is too loutish tho certainly improved of late -

wrote the above of today which took me till 8 25/60 from then till 10 10/60 making out what I ought to buy today and what will be my probable expenses till February -

I shall want more french money than I have to make out the time - this buying plate was unlooked for just now I am determined if I am to want comforts to save my money as much as I can that I may have more to spend when I can spend it more to my mind -

Breakfast at 10 10/60 read the whole of the paper - wrote the last 4 lines - finished dressing all which and dawdling over one thing or other mending my glove - took me till 12 35/60 at which hour went out - En passant called at a little pot shop and ditto tin shop in the rue Saint Honoré - luckily did not buy anything but went to Numero 1 rue du marché Saint Honoré where I bought the cut glass salt cellar - she is assez brave femme - bought (without bargaining) 4 little white china cups and saucers à 12s that the other woman (rue Saint Honoré) asked 18s for - a brown English shaped teapot 1/20 - a little cut glass for the pepper 9s and the woman (Madame Duval) very honestly gave me 2/50 for my large teapot (china) I gave 3/. for on Saturday - she sent to the tin shop tout près (Numero 7) where I bought a bouillote de stasses (that will hold 8 large china coffee cups full? no! no! a tasse de caffée is a known and particular measure) at 4/65 (the man asked 5/. - the man rue Saint Honoré asked 5/10 for a worse bouillote of 7 tasses) - un petit plateau rond en fer vermissé (a small round tin imitation papier maché waiter, 2/. and une petite boite à sucre (dredging box for MacDonald) at 0/60 - took these things and left them at the potshop till I returned for George - In returning went into Numero 334 Rue Saint Honoré for a little small silver cuiller à sel meaning it for the pepper - the man asked 2/50. I got it for 2/25 - saw a Théiere plaquée at 32/. might have it at 30/. that tempted me much - but came away resolving to consider about it - Returned - took George to Perriers Numero 44 rue neuve des petit champs and bought cloth for 2 dusters for my aunt and 2 for myself and cloth for boiling the pudding in we are to have on monday - have no basin large enough! thence to the rue du marché Saint Honoré - at a large fruiterer’s shop there en passant saw oranges from 5 to 7 sols a piece, and craesaune pears (not very large) at from ten sols to one franc (20s) each!!! I will see how I can buy them à la Halle on Saturday - sent George home with the pots - out thro’ the gardens to Legrand’s rue du Bac - bought a pair of sugar tongues une pince à sucre 5/. a pair of nut-crackers (casse-noix) 2/. and a kitchen carving knife and fork to match the knives bought before (bascules, en ebène) 10/. a very pretty little fork (fourchette à huitres would just do for pickles) all silver 10/. - but would consider - saw one that would do well enough rue Castiglione at 5/. - might have it at 4/50 - got home at 4 1/2 - tho’ frostyish this morning damp and hazy towards noon - from 3 p.m. a little threatening of sleet and small rain - wrote the last 21 lines which with taking off my things, and looking over my money (I can always make it come right nowadays) took me till 5 40/60 - Dawdling over 1 thing or other Dinner at 6 1/4 - came into the salon at 7 50/60 - sat talking to my aunt till 9 1/4 - then settled my accounts which took me till 10 5/60 - went to my room at 10 10/60 - O [two dots, marking discharge] -

[Margin] fine frostyish morn[in]g F38o at 8 1/4 a.m. 37 1/2 - 12 1/4 p.m. 37 - 6- 36 - 10 10/60 -

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Tuesday 19 December 1826

6 3/4

11 3/4

my bowels right enough this morning - In my room at 7 35/60 - read the debates in the paper of yesterday - then till 9 3/4 looking over and assorting all the papers (Galignanis messengers) from 1 September to this time - 3 wanting, 5 September and 2 and 3 November - then finished dressing - breakfast at 10 20/60 which took me 25 minutes - wrote a little note to Madame Coutart to thank her for the sequel to Montlosier’s memoire which she sent yesterday (by George) with the gown, to say I was ‘très contente de la robe’ et begged her to send the note back by George - then ruled a model sheet to give to the papetier in the rue de la paix - determined, after all, not to save my 14/. in a case like this - the book will have 160 leaves which at the rate of 4 per annum will last 40 years, a period too long to throw away any comfort of arrangement for a small saving of money at present - counted over what I got at the bank on Saturday - rang for my breakfast things to be taken away at 11 1/2, and then paid George his last 1/2 year’s wages due today (he has now lived with us 6 1/2 years) £7 at 25/. and the remaining 17 shillings and 6d pence at par (24/.) - gave him my note to take to Madame Coutart - then read the whole of today’s paper and settled my accounts all which took me till 12 55/60 - talked to my aunt a little - went out at 1 1/4 - ordered a weekly summary book at Numero 11 rue de la paix, 160 leaves to be neatly 1/2 bound price 14/. then called at Mellerio’s to hasten them to let us have the plate - then sauntered slowly along thro’ the gardens to Quai Voltaire and got there at 2 1/4 - Mrs Barlow had been watching for me the last 2 hours - almost ill at my not arriving - on the point of coming to see if my aunt was ill -

the coast was clear jane with her friend adele Mrs B had a fire in her bedroom and took me in there after sitting about an hour began to feel her a little she asked if I should like her to lie down on the bed she had just got settled there and I got my right middle finger up when there was a ring at the bell she jumped up it was a little french woman come to inquire the character of potter Mrs B not long before she was back leaving the lady to have a tete a tete with potter when we heard they were both gone Mrs B went to bed again and I had my right middle finger up for three excitements besides handling and feeling her a great deal she said I had more strength with my hand than a man had rubbed her more and of course tired her more than she was not so soon ready again as she would be if it was another thing said she had never known a man in his full strength she said she had had colonel b five and seven times in a night bid her tell me when it eazed her and teach me to do it just as she liked she said I was not too rough when passion came she could bear anything but I made her feel a little more tired afterwards than a man would she calls tuesday her day said it was on a tuesday her birthday twenty eight december I first made her mine and I am to dine with her this birthday next week on observing she never seemed to believe my having no connection with π [Mariana] for I had called her mary by mistake she said ‘you know best nobody could deceive better than you but if I believed it I would not be to you what I am now’ I think that is uncertain for her passion is sstrong she is more and more quietly wanton she asked if I did not want the pot then would feel in my drawers but I would not let her saying it excited me too much her curiosity is exceeding she asked me again today what I did that monday I would not have madame g (when I called on the newtes) had I been to an attorney to borrow money I said no but she knows I liked fun and to teaze the fact was I had been to seek a particular sort of candle luckily this ssatisfied she said jane was reconciled to our being alone when she was ill and had fever she had thought of throwing herself from the terrace is she a little crackily inclined her curiosity jealousy and passion are perhaps ssymtomatic -

I just saw Jane for a minute or 2 came away at 5 40/60 and got home at 6 - washed my hands - read 3 or 4 of the prefatory pp. [pages] of Montlosier’s sequel to his mémoire - Dinner at 6 20/60 - sat talking to my aunt from 8 to 9 20/60 - then wrote the last 28 lines which took me till 9 55/60 - Fine day tho’ a little damp in the air almost amounting to small rain when I went out, and as I returned this evening - Fine night at 10 1/4 O [two dots, marking discharge] - went to my room at 10 1/4 -

[Margin] very fine frosty morning F361/2 at 8 a.m. 38 - 1 p.m. 40 - 6 - 38 - 10 1/4 -

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Monday 18 December 1826

6 35/60

11 1/2

In my room at 7 35/60 - at my desk at 7 40/60 - read over what I wrote to IN [Isabella Norcliffe] Friday and Saturday and was just beginning to write when the washerwoman came - settling with her and 1 thing or other took me till after 9 - unaccurately paid her 0/50 too much - some alteration made in George’s bill, so took the people’s adding up which on examination I found was 6 sols too much, and hastily seeing that I had charged (and the charge was not altered) only 12 sols instead of 16 in my bill for 4 chemises gave the woman 4 sols in addition and thus paid her 10 sols too much - I have seldom paid the washing right of late - ‘tis odd enough - I will try to manage better in future - At first on coming here, I could seldom make out my money right to a few sols - I have now got the better of this, and perhaps I shall pay the washerwoman right by and by - From 9 1/4 to 10 1/4 wrote the latter 3rd part of page 3 of my letter to IN [Isabella Norcliffe] very small and close - then read for 1/4 hour the supplement that came yesterday to Galignani of Saturday - breakfast at 10 1/2 - read the French news and advertisements of this morning - concluded what I wrote to IN [Isabella Norcliffe] on Saturday - with

‘the inconvenience occasioned me by our carriage was serious on the journey; but we have got the bushes of the wheels repaired, and shall be thoroughly prepared before we start again - we are effective for a drive to the Bois de Boulogne, and want no more at present - Monday morning 18 December what will become of us by and by, is not quite certain - I do not think Travelling suits my aunt, - I mean agrees with her complaints, tho’ she likes it, and would evidently like the thought of our going somewhere else - I shall see how she is in the spring - At this moment I know not what to say of her - If she is not better than now, I must give up dwelling up the hope of seeing you - Her nerves are too weak - she could not bear us in the room; nor could she bear the very little additional to do in the apartment that we must make - we often talk of you - she bids me give her kindest love, and say, she hopes to be better, and then she shall be delighted to see you - yet she sometimes speaks of never seeing my father and Marian, or Shibden again, and says, she will be buried here - She always much admired Père Lachaise, adding ‘How little I used to think I should come to be buried here!’ Perfect quiet seems to agree with her best - my entering at all into society, is perfectly out of the question - I have refused even one evening to Mademoiselle de Sans that was, and only see her, and Mrs Barlow, and the de Noés very occasionally in a morning - some time ago, I fancied I might manage having a little society - I now see it does not [?], and I have entirely abandoned all hope or thought of it - I never in my life associated so little - Doctor Thackeray told me, my aunt had probably a great deal to suffer - I often think of this - She cannot move herself in bed - her nerves are very weak - yet, withal, she has been a little better lately (we have had such mild beautiful weather - not a single flake of snow has fallen), and talked yesterday of going to Shibden for a summer 2 or 3 years hence! Of course, I say nothing against all this, knowing that she is too nervous to bear the despair of those around her - But her bowels have been better of late; and this is a great thing - we shall certainly change our apartment as soon as we can after the expiration of our term here (on the 7th of March) - the kitchen being 2 stories above us, and the servants unable to hear the bell, we find insufferable - Not having brought plates with us, we are supplied by the porter - Our quota of tablespoons was six, all which were stolen on Thursday morning’ -

At about 11 at my desk again wrote the last 25 lines in 1/2 hour - then sat down to finish my letter - MacDonald soon afterwards came in and wanted brown sugar - asked her to get the scales and weigh it - saw her put weight after weight into the scale - found she held the balance in such sort that it could not play - thought she did not seem to quite know what she was about - Told her she always she appeared in such a hurry and so confused it was impossible to depend upon her for doing a thing - she said she had by mistake sent all her mistress’s things to the wash she meant to have washed at home - it was very unlucky - and she looked as if not hers - on this I told her she ought not to call it unlucky - it was not bad luck but bad management. She has no good method and for want of this committed all her blunders - repeated several times I was not angry, not scolding her - not did I blame but pity her for what I supposed she could not help - it was absolutely calamitous that she was so little able to take care of things - I could not wonder at Miss Reed’s letter saying she had found things so out of order MacDonald said the castle was very damp - she had left all well done - could not tell what Miss Reed meant - it must be that the linen was not well aired - she had spoken to Miss Reed’s father - was desired to give the linen to a head man of some sort in the service and he was the worst that could be - I then mentioned the petticoat the other that she declared was not among my aunt’s things and it was found there - no! it was found among her own things and she never thought of looking there - I then to instance the foolish things she sometimes did, mentioned the rice pudding of Saturday that she told my aunt she had spoilt by fearing it would not turn out and so, after creaming the rice, she had dried it again - she wondered how her mistress could say this - it was not so - it was …. I said I cared not about the puddings - had no time to listen about them - her mistress might be mistaken, but that I told MacDonald all this for her good who always seemed to me to have no presence of mind - to be as if she knew not what she was about - at Shibden when she took a pint of our strong beer every day between dinner and tea (about 5 p.m.) it might have been better accounted for; so much would have put me under the table - she declared she did not - I said I had met Mrs Cordingley one afternoon with the mug, and inquired, and she told me she MacDonald had had it full every afternoon since she (MacDonald came that Cordingley had told her such was against the rules of the house - such a thing never done before - MacDonald declared she could never do such a thing - then said she had not had it every day after prevaricating some time upon whether the vessel was a mug or a glass or how large or how small I said long as I had known Mrs Cordingley I had never known her guilty of falsehood and I should certainly believe what she said - MacDonald declared she had never asked for beer, but Mrs Cordingley had given it her, and she thought it was very odd and very foolish in her to do so - and pray said I were you not foolish then to take it? she thought it was very odd that Mrs Cordingley should make mischief - had thought it very odd that so respectable a person as Mrs Cordingley should one day when she asked her how I liked to have my things packed - very odd that she should (I wondered in myself what was coming) say…. I liked them folded tight! why should I, and so I do - Mrs Cordingley was right - MacDonald had intended to prove that Cordingley told a falsity in making me understand that Cordingley had said I liked things bundled up as MacDonald had bundled up hers - In fact, the woman was at a loss for some accusation against Cordingley. I told her it was in vain to accuse Cordingley of falsehood or anything else and I should not forget all this. Cordingley had no interest in saying she, MacDonald, had had the beer every day if it was not so - yet what MacDonald said of it herself only made a bad worse, and the less she said the better and I bade her leave the room - I am now persuaded MacDonald does not stick to truth and I really begin to suspect she will drink too when she can - I never liked her - now I have no confidence in her - the taking the ale staggered me at first, now what she said of it staggers me still more - Told her I had not mentioned either this or Miss Reed’s letter to my aunt - Did my aunt know of these 2 things I believe she could not endure the woman, for she too, has never liked her - having written one end to IN [Isabella Norcliffe] - hastily concluded on the other and sent of my letter to the [?] post at 12 1/2 to ‘Miss Norcliffe, to the care of Mr Fisher, Petergate, York, Angleterre’ - and then went to bed room (expecting Madame Galvani every minute) to finish dressing - I have been thus particular about MacDonald that when this subject comes on the tapis again (for it will one of these days before we get rid of her) I have this journal to refer to -

for the same reason I have copied all I wrote to tib about her not coming to see us here -

Madame Galvani came at 12 3/4 just as I had done my hair - left her till I had finished dressing - she stayed till 2 3/4 - conversation as usual - Told her I was so much occupied I would rather she only came once a week till I had more leisure - after Madame Galvani went came to speak to my aunt about something - mentioned having had a long conversation about MacDonald’s carelessness (but neither named Miss Reed’s letter nor the beer - went out at 3 35/60 - to Michel’s - ate a mince-pie by way of tasting what sort of things they were (very good) ordered 4 for Xmas Day, 2 three lb. very rich plum cakes meaning to send one of them to Madame Galvani it dampened a little - returned home for my umbrella - then took 2 turns quick round the gardens in 3/4 hour and came in at 4 3/4 - settled my accounts - George brought in the beef he bought this morning to weigh it - to my surprise instead of 7 3/4 lbs it was 2 oz. less than this - I will have every thing I buy weighed - Dinner at 6 5/60 - Left the dining room at 7 50/60 just before dinner wrote from line 12 to 33 of the last page, and just after wrote from line 33 to here -

in speaking to my aunt before going out mentioned getting rid of mcd [MacDonald] and taking Mrs Potter who is going to leave Mrs Barlow on trial -

the mince pie very heavy on my stomach just before dinner - at dinner took a little pepper - perhaps the weight of a grain or 2 which I think did me good - writing to here, and the rough draft of the index took me till 9 1/4 - from then for 1/2 hour sat talking to my aunt - then till 10 1/4 finished reading the whole of the yesterday’s supplement to Saturday’s paper - Mr Brougham’s speech in support of ministers sending troops to Portugal very good - very fine frosty morning and fine till after Madame Galvani went at 2 3/4 - about 3 came in rather hazy and at 3 35/60 when I went out was just began to damp or small rain a little which continued all the time I was out tho’ not enough to wet my umbrella - came to my room at 10 1/4. O [two dots, marking discharge] - wrote the last 4 lines -

[Margin] very fine frosty morning the street dry F371/2 at 1 40/60 a.m. 36 - 4p.m. 35 - 10 1/4 -

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Sunday 17 December 1826

7 25/60

11 50/60

could have no motion at all this morning

In my salon at 8 25/60 finished dressing - out at 9 5/60 in 1/2 hour walked to the barrière de l'Étoile turned to the north - sauntered into the very pretty gardens of Monsieur Etienne - thence down the passage a longish lane which opened into the rue du Faubourg du Roule, went to the barrière - returned the same way - En passant about midway the avenue de Neuilly, saw a house to let - furnished - the whole maison with a little bit of back garden 5 best bedrooms coach and house and stables 1000/. a month 10,000/. a year! - turned into the gardens at the great gate - made the circuit of them coming out at the little gate opposite our street in 21 minutes and got home at 11 - the man had brought the pots that ought to have come last night - some time having them looked over and paying him - breakfast at 11 20/60 - the beurre de Bretagne (1lb in a little square basket) really better than I expected - very good - not at all strong - but not the better for being a little salted - read the debates in yesterday’s paper Mr Canning’s speech excellent on the King’s message desiring the support of parliament in assisting Portugal against the aggressions of Spain - 12 55/60 to 1 20/60 read the morning prayers - Mrs and Miss Barlow came just before I had done - had them into the room and concluded the service they stayed about an hour - I then brought them into my salon (had stayed with them and my aunt in the salon) to look at the weigh-scales I bought yesterday and they stayed I think not quite 10 minutes and went away at 2 20/60 - then wrote the above of today - then made out last week’s summary and then till 6 making out a list of all the items, classed under the general head Furniture, we bought since we came here - Dinner at 6 1/4 - came into the salon at 8 - made out, after turning to my journal, 2 or 3 things omitted to be set down in my account book - considering how particular I am ‘tis strange I should have omitted anything - then made out the washing bills for tomorrow all which took me till 9 55/60 very fine day - coldish and rather frostyish this morning but very fine - went to my room at 10 10/60 O [two dots, marking discharge] -

taking two spoonfuls of magnesia in the juice of half an old cut lemon and that of nearly half another fresh cut kept me up so late -

[Margin] very fine morning F42o at 8 25/60 a.m. 43o - 11 - 45 - 2 1/4 p.m. 38 1/2 - 10 1/4 -

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Saturday 16 December 1826

7 25/60

11 3/4

my bowels not right - In my room at 8 25/60 - from 8 1/2 to 10 50/60 read over what I wrote last night to IN [Isabella Norcliffe] - and wrote page 2 and 2/3 page 3 - very small and close - breakfast at 11 - the potted shrimps I bought on Thursday excellent - breakfast and reading about 1/2 the paper took me till after 12 -

then went to the pot and did a very little good -

stayed talking to my aunt who was looking over the contents of her imperial in MacDonald’s room who, it seems, has found the petticoat I had lost, among her mistress’s things - she is strangely careless - she assured me it was not there - she takes things up she knows not how, runs away with them, and asserts that she does or does not know anything about them just as it happens - she is not fit for lady’s maid to have the care of packing, putting by, etc. etc. - wrote the above of this morning which took me till 12 1/2 - then finished dressing - went out at 1 40/60 in a fiacre - direct to Laffittes - exchanged 25/35 -

gave my last of hammersleys notes and othe[r] money for my fifty pounds I must make it do as long as I can -

from the bank to Bertaud’s rue neuves des petit champs No 33 bought cheese, soap etc. and another loaf of sugar the same as the last but one sol dearer - sugar advanced and expected to advance more - thence to Marnet, rue Montmartre No 70, marchand de cuir, and bought a leather to clean the knives on “1 planche a couteau” (de boeuf) - 6/. - thence to a large wholesale pot-shop (recommended by Bertraud), rue du Jour, No 4, près Saint-Eustache - an hour there choosing pots of one sort or other - ought to have had them cheaper there than at the retail shops but Bertraud said I must marchander and I believe I could have bought the things for quite as little in the Place du marché Saint Honoré - thence to Hamelin (also recommended by Bertraud) rue Saint Denis No 78, près celle des Lombards, for weigh scales - scales “une balance cuivre rouge montéc en cordes 15/. seven poids de fonte (6lbs, 4lbs, 2lbs, 1lb and 2oz) 8/. “une fille dans sa boite de 8o” (8oz) divisées “4/. thence to Nos 1-2 rue des Lombards for Tea - thence home at 4 - a drunken - fellow of a cocher disputed at the door with the porter and his wife and Auguste and would make me pay for 4 hours, 7/50 - Looking over what I had bought and dawdled over 1 thing or other Dinner at 6 1/4 - afterwards the man brought the scales - wrote the last 12 1/2 lines - Gilbert explained to me that the gruau is the 1st, the finest, and best flour (la tete de la farine) of any grain - thus there is gruau de blé d'avoine etc. - settled my accounts - very fine morning (one ought to go out early) but began to rain a little about 3 and continued to rain more or less (but always gently) the rest of the day - afternoon and evening - adding up and musing over the expenses of the week - came to my room at 10 1/4 - one should choose loaves of sugar that are sparkling, and should try them by the sound - on striking them they should sound like a well baked brick - O [two dots, marking discharge]

[Margin - very fine morning F49 at 8 1/2 a.m. 54 - 1 1/4 p/m/ 49 - 10 1/4 -]

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Friday 15 December 1826

7 25/60

11 35/60

In my room at 8 25/60 - from 8 40/60 to 11 50/60 wrote page 3 and the ends and under the seal all very dense and close, to M-

comforting and affectionate in answer to her last

She got my last on the Tuesday -

be gone to find me so upset and unhappy at her doubts repents of them and cannot be easy till she hears I have forgiven her had before the receipt of mine written very sensibly against my being too intimate or too familiar with Mrs B have said I quite agree but it is difficult to exercise the candour she advises one cannot talk of changed regard without giving a reason I cannot give one must say this and that (meaning I cannot own my real circumstances with [Pi - Mariana]) do as well as I can and think [Pi - Mariana] ought to be satisfied whether I am with Mrs B or not I am the same to [Pi - Mariana] my mind is made up repeat this three or four times in the course of the letter [Pi - Mariana] will understand that she may come to me when she likes “if you cannot be well enough to be happy never mind expediency” - a very kind letter surely [Pi - Mariana] will be at ease again and we shall go on well

M- has been very ill - say how anxious I shall be till I hear from her again -

still hint at going to toulouse if she wishes it -

Breakfast at 10 55/60 which and reading the whole of the paper took me till 12 1/4 - sent off my letter to “Mrs Lawton, Lawton hall, Lawton, cheshire Angleterre” at 11 1/2 - finished dressing - mending my stockings - wrote the above of today all which took me till 1 3/4 - went out at 2 - at a little after 12 sent George with my gown to Madame Coutart (my worst merinos) to be mended - and she sent me back another volume by the Comte de Montlosier, a sequel to his memoire - went direct to martin emballeur rue des des capucines for a box to sit upon, to raise my seat when writing - thence to mellerios to order sugar tongs - thence thro’ the gardens along the rue de Seine to the Luxembourg and Odéon seeking No 24 rue de l’Odeon, Carter Cutler, for knives - the man speaks very bad French - asked 66/. a dozen for the best knives en ivoire and 20, I think, for the carving knife and fork - an Englishman came in while I was there - I suppose Mr Carter sells almost exclusively to the English; for surely he is too dear for the French - I find that almost perhaps one should say all the people who advertise in Galignani are dear and aim at catching English custom - I had a long, dirty walk to seek this man - but nothing like seeing and judging for one’s self - sauntered thro’ the marché Saint Germain - and after passing thro’ 3 or 4 streets got back again into the rue de Seine - asked the price of hot roasted apples, looking very good - one sol a piece - I shall know what to give in this quarter - returned along the quai - went to Legrand rue du Bac No 12, where Mrs Barlow bought knives 2 years ago - a very civil honest woman in the shop - would sell me the best knives at 45/. a dozen what they sold at 48/. (Mrs Barlow bought this price to be sure a man in the rue Saint Honoré the other day asked me only 40/. for the same sort of knives en ivoire, but I think the steel was inferior) - 19/. for the carving knife and fork having a ressort spring to prevent the knife from slipping making a difference of 2/. - instantly bought the 2 latter and 1/2 dozen of the former, and 2 very pretty silver dessert knives (surely cheap at 7/. each) to match, and 4 knives for the kitchen (the steel of the same quality - manches noirs) at 2/50 - never better satisfied with any purchase I have made - just in time to pass thro’ the gardens and got home at 4 3/4 - wrote the last 15 lines which took me till 4 1/4 - ordered the box (vide line 3 from the bottom of the last page) because it just occurred to me that raising my seat by the nos of Fosbroke’s Archaeology which being soft yield to my weight and rise towards the back, may perhaps have some effect upon me - may perhaps cause the something like tendency to piles? - I yesterday got George’s small box belonging to the hind seat of the carriage, and it certainly raises me much more comfortably and coolly - Found that the black book I got of Whitley (the same size as this but only about 1/2 as thick) for copies of letters etc. will do for my weekly summaries and that it will contain them for 13 years to come - I shall therefore save my 14 francs and not get a new one? The man brought the knives from Legrand (rue du Bac No 12) - Dinner at 6 20/60 - came into the salon at 7 3/4 - from 8 to 10 25/60 wrote 1 page small and close to IN [Isabella Norcliffe] - came to my room at 10 1/2 - very fine day - wet evening after dinner - raining heavily at 10 and for 1/2 hour afterwards O [two dots, marking discharge]

[Margin - fine morning F46o at 8 25/60 a.m. 50o at noon. 50 1/2 - 5 1/2 p.m. 49 1/2 - 10 1/2 p.m.]

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