You gonna throw up or are you gonna smile?

we broke up.

He said it's to clear up what he wants in life. He said this relationship has become a hurdle more than something he cherished. He said I'm his heart, but if his heart is in New York he can't feel completely there. He said he still loves me. He said he'll still be there for me. He was crying. More than I was.

A few weeks ago I went to the Milwaukee Art Museum with a friend and we got to go into this glass box called The Infinity Chamber. Inside there are mirrors and lights and together they resemble the stars and constellations; outer space. It’s probably one of the coolest things ever. Credit: Stanley Landsman, Walk-In Infinity Chamber, 1968

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Your mental illness is lying to you.

You are not stupid. You are not ugly. You are not worthless. You are not weak. You are not a burden. Your mental illness is lying to you.

List of Non-sexual forms of intimacy

we were talking about how people hurt others. if i were to ever cheat on him, he would feel beyond devastated and heartbroken bc it's as if everything he gave me was given back to him. he then asked me what would happen if i cheated on him. i said, "honestly, i would let it happen." he got confused, and honestly i think many other people would be confused too, considering i would just shrug it off if he cheated on me. then he got really emotional. he held me for a bit and realized i had a troubled past of experiencing the same thing. he held me and promised to keep me safe and never in doubt. he's okay with giving his all to me, and i knew that i would have to give my all to him. no one has ever treated and valued me in this way before. i love him.

i have a lot of love for him. i think i would do anything for him. today kind of proved it. he was stressing out bc he thought he wouldn't make it to new york on time since he's sick. i told him i'd be willing to make breakfast for him, get him to his doctor to sign immunization forms and to the train station in less than an hour. and that's what i did. i first went to the doctor and waited until he signed his forms. then i went home to immediately make avocado and egg on toast for him and myself. then we cuddled for a little. then i drove him to south orange, which he kept stressing about not making it to the 12:50 departure. we got there at 12:47.

i may have made a mistake

i accidentally invited my ex boyfriend to a concert i would be performing in 4th of july and it's funny bc we first met on the 4th of july and we both kissed on the 4th of july etc etc. i don't know if he's coming but there's a slight possibility

i love henry so much. my heart just yearns for him and i miss him so much. he's all the way in florida and i'm just here and i want him to come back so we can lay together again and breathe together and ugh. i've never really loved someone like this before. he's pretty much been everything to me now.

i graduated high school on wednesday!

your girl's graduating preschool!!!!

bebe ko and more honor cords!!!

today is the day that i've discovered how much in love i am with henry. i fucking love him.

king henry and queen victoria

queen victoria