"what that mouth do babygirl?"

cast spells. invoke the ancients. and hurt your feelings probably

My minions are telling me my “Lich, Laugh, Loathe” decorative signs are too ‘basic’ for a Darklord and sends the wrong signal. 

Raveloft Lore Tuesdays

Domain of May: Barovia – The First Domain of not quite the First Vampire Domain Formation: 351 BC

Lore: Historical Event – The Arrival of the Necromancer

According to a tarokka card reading done by the famed Seer Vistana Madam Eva and later repeated by her predecessor, Madam Ilka, a Necromancer would arrive in Barovia and would be one of Strahd’s greatest foes and would bring war to the land of Barovia. That Necromancer was me 💀 

The war itself amounted to a few skirmished before we both called it a day, but the events that occurred while conducting experimentations to escape back to my home world of Oerth changed the lands in the Mists forever. Though each failure brought me new data and new irritation to von Zarovich, they also, perhaps more importantly led to the creation of Forlorn, Arak, and Mordent. I myself explored Forlorn, but found nothing more than a sad creature locked away in their castle and far too many goblyns. Arak…would not permit me within and any surveyors I sent on my behalf went missing. Mordent…well, I have nothing more than vague recollections of the place but I know, for a brief moment, I had succeeded in allowing both Strahd and I to escape Barovia for far too short a time.

After the Mordent event, I knew I had been fooling myself and foolishly stepped into the Mists, following the sounds of the Vistani within in hopes of escaping back to Oerth. My efforts awarded me with my very own prison designed to torment me for eternity…

How to use Azalin’s Time in Barovia in Your Games

If you wish to use the formation of the Domains resulting from Azalin and Strahd’s experiments, then I suggest speeding up the timeline if you wish to use all three or just focus on one of them.

Forlorn’s appearance could easily result in a surge of goblyns pouring into Barovia. This is easily something for a group of adventurers to learn of and deal with. Goblyns, not to be confused with goblins, are humanoids twisted by magic into bug-eyes, sharp jaws, sickly looking creatures with long claws and no will but that of the one who created them and no pleasure but to eat anything they can get their hands on. Such creatures could quickly devastate a small town in Barovia.

Arak is a desolate land with Shadow Fey living far beneath its surface. Perhaps Barovia opens a mining expedition in the new land and…’dig too deep’, as is the classic fantasy tale, and uncover some ancient evil the dwelled below. The Shadow Fey are very much like the Unseelie Court and if a mine ended up unburying a few of them…well, that could result in odd Fey bargains such an individual who suddenly becomes incredibly wealthy and/or the Burgomaster of a town in Barovia, but…they must always walk backwards or only talk in riddles. An unknown horror could recreate a mind-controlled populace or possessed miners. There is a lot you could do with this.

As for Mordent, well the events of Azalin and Strahd’s time in Mordent are depicted in Ravenloft II: The House on Gryphon Hill. It is a…strange adventure at best where Strahd using the Apparatus and slips himself into his ‘good’ and ‘evil’ halves…players are pitted against his evil half throughout…Azalin just kind of watches? There’s a lot of oddities within, but if you want to do something similar and want to have Azalin in your game, well the events in Mordent could have split Azalin in two, but they aren’t put back together. His lich half could easily replace the lich in the Amber Temple in Curse of Strahd and his human half could be the ‘mad mage’ the resides on Mount Baratok.

Ladies always think it's safe to leave me with their man....girl you know I'm taking his blood for my experiments!

vampire that wants ur blood so bad they are crying

“you shouldn’t ship ireena/tatyana with strahd!” wrong

“ireena/tatyana should be with strahd” also wrong

Ravenloft Lore Tuesdays

Domain of May: Barovia – The First Domain of not quite the First Vampire Domain Formation: 351 BC

Lore: Zeidenburg

Since I’ve already done a person and a thing associated with Barovia this month, why not focus on a place? Get all these nouns out of the way…

Zeidenburg is the largest settlement in Barovia and was built around the Ashen Stronghold. This city was formally part of the Domain of Gundrak, which was absorbed by its neighboring Domains during the Grand Conjunction of 740 BC. Von Zarovich, ever the war lord, seized Zeidenburg for his own through rite of conquest after a four-month siege, which ended after a swarm of rats overtook the town…which given Strahd’s nature, I’m sure you can determine how that occurred for yourself. Though the Gundarakites surrendered, the town of Zeidenburg is marked with rebellion and only bend an uneasy, disloyal knee to the Count while doing their best to undermine his authority through banditry and small skirmishes.

Another thorn in the Count’s side resides within a lavish estate in Zeidenburg, Lyssa von Zarovich. Lyssa has actively worked against her elder on several occasions, with her most recent attempt by allying with the mind flayers of Bluetspur and creating vampiric illithids. Her attempts against her Gruncle Strahd ultimately failed. A pity, really, as she would make a much better ruler for the people of Barovia. Strahd, tired of Lyssa’s interference, created an alchemical poison and infused it in the blood of a flesh golem Lyssa was tricked into supping upon. This poison keeps her in a slumbering state, only allowing her to awaken for a few hours each evening. Still, she works against the Count, supporting the Gundararkit rebels and if someone were to cure her of this aliment…well, I’m sure they would obtain a powerful ally and annoy the Count to no end.

How to use Zeidenburg in your Games

Though Curse of Strahd is set pre-Grand Conjunction (735 BC), you could theoretically add Zeidenburg to your CoS game fairly easily. You could even have the events of the GC happen during the course of your game and the players could side with Zeidenburg against Strahd or vice versa as Strahd attempts to seize the town for Barovia.

Zeidenburg is the perfect town to add to any game set in Barovia that centers around overthrowing Strahd. There’s a lot of potential for players to bring various rebelling groups together, make alliances with those with common cause, and of course there’s the enormous potential with Lyssa. Awakening Lyssa and having her as an ally to the party? There’s a lot you could do with this. Not only does Lyssa know Strahd’s story, but she can travel to other Domains. She’s also a skilled biomancer who could aid the party with some rather unique creations. Of course, allying with her against Strahd is a bit of a double edged sword considering she is just a different type of evil.

reblog to fucking BITE the person you reblogged this from

May I remind you- you wear a robe. You'd better never be facing a door while doing that.

I also read on twitterloft that you don't have a bed because as an undead, you don't sleep. Why not though? Beds are good for stuff other than sleeping, sometimes I don't leave the house when I'm emotional because I know there's a bed I can fling myself dramatically on if things go awry, and doing it on a couch doesn't have the same effect. And don't you just feel like lying down sometimes?

Oh, I have a bed, I just do not see the need to use one. Why would one lie down when there are countless subjects and projects to peruse?

As for theatrical dramatics, I prefer summoning a mage storm over the spiraling heights of Castle Avernus.

Y'all have no idea how shitty the wifi is in my gothic castle

Jander’s Expanded Guide to Vampires: the Elven Strain

One could write a book on the whole of the Vampire condition. In fact, one has! Our friend Doctor Van Richten spent quite a lot of time researching his Guide to Vampires (and I count myself an uncredited source, for some of it), and the result is as reliable as any bestiary ever was. 

But, comprehensive as the Guide is, the good doctor focuses primarily on the Human strain of Vampirism. This is understandable, seeing as that’s the most common strain available - I myself am of the human variety, despite being a sun elf in origin. I am a rare example, though, as multiple other strains exist in these lands, and each one tends to favor a particular race.

Thus I will begin by describing what I consider to be true Elven Vampires, and compare them with the more standard human variety with which you might already be familiar.

Hunter’s Rating: 🦇 🦇 🦇 🦇

The stereotype that elves are all, what was it, tree-hugging granola freaks (thanks, Soth), is perhaps an unkind one, but not strictly inaccurate. So, of course, when these misty lands decided to craft a Vampire to specifically target elves, they did so by turning nearly every aspect of our natures on its head. Elven Vampires inhabit the same forests that their living brethren adore, but slowly corrupt the landscape by their very presence. They share a cruel attunement with forest animals, and can summon and command swarms of small mammals, or birds of prey, or, of course, wolves. Many of the spell-like abilities an Elven Vampire possesses mimic druid spells, in how they shape and control plant life, and a hunter must always be wary of having their environment turned against them in this way.

Other considerations for the aspiring hunter include the naturally frightening affect these creatures have, beyond that of ordinary undead, and their terrible Black Thumb curse. This is the one point of commonality I share with Vampires of my own race; no living plant can bear my touch, and withers dead on contact. This is the cause of no small grief in myself and my similarly afflicted kin, and it even extends to one of the most powerful abilities a true Elven Vampire possesses, which is an innate ability to treewalk. Through this skill, an Elven Vampire might simply walk into an appropriately sized plant, and appear walking out of another plant of the same type elsewhere in the world. This action instantly kills both plants involved, and cannot be used to cross Domain borders, but good luck pinning one of the bastards in place when they can just vanish into the nearest tree.

Rather than feeding on blood and physical health, as human-derived Vampires do, Elven Vampires typically feed on charisma itself. This manifests as disfiguring marks and scars resulting from contact with the creature - although one must wonder if this isn’t a case of poor data collection, given that physical attractiveness is but one aspect of one’s charismatic charm, and victims of Vampire attacks really have enough to worry about already without knee-jerk ableism dropped on their heads as well.

And on top of everything else, a true Elven Vampire diverges from one’s expectations by being diurnal. Really! Diurnal! I’ve been struck with their Black Thumb curse, for the crime of having too good a time gardening, but they get to keep the sun!? Unreasonable! Inconceivable! I want to speak to a manager!

Ahem. Excuse me. The strange fact of the matter is, true Elven Vampires physically cannot tolerate either the open night sky, nor the presence of earth over their heads. They are restricted to daylight hours, and abhor underground spaces. It is as though the rules are utterly reversed for them – which makes hunting them as a human-derived Vampire a chore and a half, let me tell you.

If you seek to destroy such a creature, know that the typical trifecta of repellants (mirrors, holy symbols, and garlic) will do you no good. Instead, reach for fresh flower petals to create a line on the ground that the Elven Vampire cannot cross, and season your stakes in the fire until they become as charcoal. Once paralyzed by staking, sever the head and burn it in a fire built of flowers and flowering plants for at least twenty four hours. A lengthy process, but an aromatic one, and the reward you will reap is the freedom from undead tyranny - at least, for now.

fuck being human I wanna be a bioluminescent cephalopod >:(

*Who* not what. ;)

Helen Oyeyemi, from “White Is for Witching”  

@jander-sunstar

When a character is assured enough in their own power that they are completely relaxed in dangerous situations??? When that same character becomes tense and uncomfortable in the mundane because they don't have a framework for peace?????? When they help navigate violence for another character and in return that character helps them navigate softness??????????? That's all, your honour

maybe you could fix him, but I personally, don't intend to. i want to see him baring his teeth while covered in blood