Rachel Zegler and Kit Connor Romeo + Juliet on Broadway

@bluerevs

"you know what i mean." she gently protested, heavy sigh falling from her chest, "it's still a one time thing because i will never have a reason to treat you like that ever again, because i'm not with an impulsive psychotic sometimes violent asshole anymore. it was all an act, saying you were just my friend. it wasn't real. it was just an act to keep you sa–" safe. but he doesn't like that answer, does he? so she shuts her mouth before she can utter the word for the hundredth time. "just." her eyes squeezed shut before opening again in defeat, "nevermind. fine. maybe i am just wrong for keeping it from you, maybe i should have told you then recklessly got you involved and endangered you, because i feared you would try to step in if i had told you." if that's what he wants her to say. "i just don't think living in the past though is going to help anything. i'll make up for all the times i had to push you away and hurt you, i promise. i don't really know what else to do. i didn't know what to do then, other than push you away. i panicked." she leaned down to wipe her cheeks against her shoulder, soaking up stupid tears against the fabric of his shirt. "okay," elena frowned after picking up her head, "i hope so." because stress her genuine reasonings wasn't good enough was still there. feeling like she was a bad person for the things she had no choice but to do and not good enough for him for it, gloom residing in her chest. "you can get it wrong sometimes, no relationship is ever going to be perfect. but– just don't leave me." voice pleaded, holding on to his wrists as he scooted her closer then she had to study every syllable of his words and try to find hundred and one percent trust just through searching his gaze, to make sure he's telling her the truth. why did it feel like she didn't know if he was, still? the reassurance she was wanting felt only half there with his response. "okay, if you're sure– then so am i. and i won't think like that, then." just relies on him not giving her a reason to think like that. she climbed off him without notice, crawling out of his bed and then planting her feet on the floor that was cold to the touch. it reminded her to go get her care bear slippers out of her bag she took from rory's while she was temporarily leaving to go get water from his fridge, if there was any. and to find a napkin to dry up her tears– or a second to let raging tears sourced by too many emotions flood out of her eyes without him having to watch her cry like an idiot or a crazy person for that matter.

".. why would i change my mind?" the way he says that, even his usually soothing caresses to her back can't tame her uncontrollable worry as elena sits back up. sitting still for a moment, absorbing his face and collecting her ideas if he truly trusts or her not before speaking again, "i would never do that, you have to believe me. i won't leave you in the dark again .. it's not something i'll routinely do if that's what you think. it was just that one time, because it was the safest way to go about it." small hands gently reached with an eager itch to cup his cheeks between warm palms, catching his gaze so he understands how sincere she is. she didn't want to leave any room for doubt, even if she worried herself sick it would never process inside his mind in the way it does her. "i mean, you scare me too. you're just so kind to me, so sometimes i wonder if there's a trick. i get paranoid. rory put on such an act, he was a seemingly nice person and then later he turned out .. well, you see how. and sometimes i just think i'm not meant to find someone who is kind to me, let alone your type of kind. so you feel like a dream. i just hope you don't get so scared of me and decide to up and randomly leave me. i don't think– i know i wouldn't survive that. so you have to be sure you won't before i get attached to you more than i already am." she was spilling everything, even if it made her feel terribly vulnerable; it was best he knew exactly how she felt though so there would never be anything held back or left unsaid before diving into this, "please, marcus. you have to be sure about it and don't go running scared... i promise i can't take it, if- if you decide to change your mind however many months from now." just the idea of it puts her own fear through her heart and rationally creates new tears to prick at bambi hues.

".. why would i change my mind?" the way he says that, even his usually soothing caresses to her back can't tame her uncontrollable worry as elena sits back up. sitting still for a moment, absorbing his face and collecting her ideas if he truly trusts or her not before speaking again, "i would never do that, you have to believe me. i won't leave you in the dark again .. it's not something i'll routinely do if that's what you think. it was just that one time, because it was the safest way to go about it." small hands gently reached with an eager itch to cup his cheeks between warm palms, catching his gaze so he understands how sincere she is. she didn't want to leave any room for doubt, even if she worried herself sick it would never process inside his mind in the way it does her. "i mean, you scare me too. you're just so kind to me, so sometimes i wonder if there's a trick. i get paranoid. rory put on such an act, he was a seemingly nice person and then later he turned out .. well, you see how. and sometimes i just think i'm not meant to find someone who is kind to me, let alone your type of kind. so you feel like a dream. i just hope you don't get so scared of me and decide to up and randomly leave me. i don't think– i know i wouldn't survive that. so you have to be sure you won't before i get attached to you more than i already am." she was spilling everything, even if it made her feel terribly vulnerable; it was best he knew exactly how she felt though so there would never be anything held back or left unsaid before diving into this, "please, marcus. you have to be sure about it and don't go running scared... i promise i can't take it, if- if you decide to change your mind however many months from now." just the idea of it puts her own fear through her heart and rationally creates new tears to prick at bambi hues.

"not me, i love all the marcus." smiling, she found comfort in pulling up the collar of his she's wearing and stuffing her nose into it. "plus, no elena scents were available." she teased, obviously since there was no products of hers here. "then, maybe i'll get to paint them after all. right before you leave or when i visit you," elena laughs a little, pressing a kiss to his knuckles while his other hand, pad of his thumb and his eyes were surveying that ugly bruise she knew had to be forming even deeper than when she saw it in the bathroom mirror. it made her thankful he was pulling her close so he couldn't see the way she wanted to hide. her right cheek rests against his chest and her left hand rests against the other side of it, "i know," she frowned and felt guilt gnaw at her for something that was out of her control, "but i was scared. i was just going to wait it all out. i had it all planned out in my head. i would keep it from you so you'd be at a safe distance, i didn't want to endanger you– and hoped one day i'd just find the courage to leave him and then i'd make it up to you." she spoke worriedly, like it was currently all still happening as she replayed the most horrible moment of her life back in her mind, "somehow, it really worked out that way. but i know i can tell you anything now, if that's what you're worried about. i just couldn't tell you that then– things were different when he was in the picture. i hope it wasn't wrong?" to protect him? because she didn't know if he was holding anger in at her for hurting him unintentionally to keep him safe or how he felt. "i don't doubt that... i know you care about me. you've always cared for me more than my own ex-boyfriend ever did. if i didn't know that marcus, i wouldn't love you like i do." yes, the reminder of the guilt she felt for having to hurt him over and over because there was no way she was allowed to tell him without endangering his life caused emotions to stir. but another reasoning a few tears fell from her eyes and dripped off onto his skin because she felt suffocated by fear he was never going to believe her on that. why would he think she didn't know he cared for her, after all? "i'm safe here. i'm safe now. so are you. so isn't that good enough?" sadly, she questioned. maybe she was reading into it wrong, maybe it was her being overly sensitive or something– but she felt he was implying she wouldn't be honest with him for now on or that she didn't know how much he cared for her when the bigger picture was the fact they both had found each other and she had escaped that relationship alive.

rachel zegler on vacation, in mexico.

"not me, i love all the marcus." smiling, she found comfort in pulling up the collar of his she's wearing and stuffing her nose into it. "plus, no elena scents were available." she teased, obviously since there was no products of hers here. "then, maybe i'll get to paint them after all. right before you leave or when i visit you," elena laughs a little, pressing a kiss to his knuckles while his other hand, pad of his thumb and his eyes were surveying that ugly bruise she knew had to be forming even deeper than when she saw it in the bathroom mirror. it made her thankful he was pulling her close so he couldn't see the way she wanted to hide. her right cheek rests against his chest and her left hand rests against the other side of it, "i know," she frowned and felt guilt gnaw at her for something that was out of her control, "but i was scared. i was just going to wait it all out. i had it all planned out in my head. i would keep it from you so you'd be at a safe distance, i didn't want to endanger you– and hoped one day i'd just find the courage to leave him and then i'd make it up to you." she spoke worriedly, like it was currently all still happening as she replayed the most horrible moment of her life back in her mind, "somehow, it really worked out that way. but i know i can tell you anything now, if that's what you're worried about. i just couldn't tell you that then– things were different when he was in the picture. i hope it wasn't wrong?" to protect him? because she didn't know if he was holding anger in at her for hurting him unintentionally to keep him safe or how he felt. "i don't doubt that... i know you care about me. you've always cared for me more than my own ex-boyfriend ever did. if i didn't know that marcus, i wouldn't love you like i do." yes, the reminder of the guilt she felt for having to hurt him over and over because there was no way she was allowed to tell him without endangering his life caused emotions to stir. but another reasoning a few tears fell from her eyes and dripped off onto his skin because she felt suffocated by fear he was never going to believe her on that. why would he think she didn't know he cared for her, after all? "i'm safe here. i'm safe now. so are you. so isn't that good enough?" sadly, she questioned. maybe she was reading into it wrong, maybe it was her being overly sensitive or something– but she felt he was implying she wouldn't be honest with him for now on or that she didn't know how much he cared for her when the bigger picture was the fact they both had found each other and she had escaped that relationship alive.

               as  she  sinks  into  his  arms  and  they  slip  into  conversation,  he  realizes  how  much  this  means.  moments  like  these  usually  sit  above  the  threshold  of  the  actual  moment  itself,  supraliminal  in  nature,  but  he  knows  the  loss  of  it,  of  her.  it  allows  him  to  appreciate  it  more,  and  acknowledge  that  way  that  his  heart  rate  slows  and  his  anxiety  leaks  away  when  she  laughs  is  medicinal.  "  yeah,  well,  i've  had  enough  of  marcus.  "  realizes  that  she's  right,  that  she  does  smell  like  him,  and  it's  an  odd  satisfaction  that  floods  his  system.  eyes  flit  to  the  tv,  a  pique  of  his  brow  at  her  song  selection.  although  he  says  nothing,  he  finds  it  impossible  to  pinpoint  her  interests  or  tastes.  "  and  blue  and  pink  nails  would  definitely  give  me  a  huge  leg  up  in  the  london  art  world,  "  eyes  narrow  playfully  when  he  interlocks  their  fingers,  happy  to  take  the  opportunity.  marcus  listens  as  she  speaks,  a  deep  frown  and  hard  scowl  carving  into  his  features.  he's  acutely  aware  of  his  own  protectiveness.  it  was  a  part  of  him,  his  character,  a  learned  behavior  even  before  elena  had  ever  looked  in  his  direction.  still,  he  know  she's  capable.  he  also  knows  that  without  him,  without  this  tangled  mess  they'd  become  embedded  in,  that  her  situation  might  be  different.   not  solved,  but  different.   regardless,  he  knows  the  risk  she  took  tonight,  and  feels  himself  instinctively  pulling  her  closer.  "  i  know  you  have  your  reasons  .  .  .  and  i  respect  them  elena,  i  do.  i  just  .  .  .  i  wish  you  would've  told  me.  "  knows  that  he's  toeing  a  dangerous  line,  that  this  could  easily  tip  the  scale  of  the  night,  so  he  proceeds  with  shaky  caution:  "  above  anything,  even  above this,  "  a  clear  gesture  to  their  current  position,  their  closeness,  their  confessions.  "i  want  you  safe.  "  marcus'  gaze  moves  to  the  blooming  bruise  across  her  jaw.  he  unlocks  their  hands,  pad  of  his  thumb  moving  next  to  it,  afraid  that  any  pressure  against  it  would  be  sensitive  against  the  too-tender  skin.  "  i  care  about  you,  you  know.  "

gaze curiously flickered to the book as she sat up on him and decided she didn't like hearing that, that it was depressing, so once gaze redirected back to him her frown lifted into a sweet smile, "then i'll be sure to fill your head with optimistic happy things." she promised, taking his hands and holding onto them, fingers gently curling around his palms. "that's hard to do when i'm wearing a marcus dress and marcus underwear and marcus shampoo and soap." she quipped, smiling in amusement before it grew when he recited underwear hat and laughs bubble from her chest while she's grabbing for the remote next to his book on the nightstand. she's half way turned, paying attention to the tv now, finding the youtube app and sorting out the search bar until she clicks on the first taylor song she likes. so it goes starting to play, placing the remote back down on his chest and picking up one of his hands to examine it like a nail tech. "hmm... maybe we could file these nails a little and give them some flair. paint them blue and pink, maybe." elena playfully smiles, hiding what she had in mind what she wanted to talk about. or previously pick up where they left off, but her doe eyes flickered up on his face and didn't want to ruin the happy smile on his face. she couldn't do that, definitely not in this moment. so she pushed her worries aside for a few more minutes. "me too. i hated every moment of having to treat you like that while screaming inside, wanting to tell you why i was treating you like that. and then tonight, that was just scary. crazy. at one moment i thought he was going to really go insane on me when i told him i wasn't going to stay with him anymore. no, i think he was. that's– that's when i just ran, hoped for the best while i felt like i was being chased down by michael myers until i made it to my car." she angrily shook her head at the insanity, the fear she had to endure in that moment as her gaze stayed fixated on his hand she was fidgeting with– additionally angering her he was still blowing her phone up just a room away. then leaned into marcus' hand that was next to her cheek where he was fixing a stray strand of wet hair, affectionately nuzzling into it like a cat for comfort, "so i'm very glad we're here and i didn't get stuck back there. i feel like i can breathe now."

               it  dawns  on  him  now  how  foolish  he  had  been  up  until  now.  this  whole  time,  running  with  the  assumption  that  once  the  chase  was  over,  so  was  the  work.  a  ridiculous  notion  to  believe  his  mind  would  quiet  the  moment  a  concrete  reciprocation  fell  from  her  lips.  while  it  was  true  that  a  fiery  inferno  had  been  stamped  out  tonight,  an  entirely  new  one  had  been  ignited.  he  knew  now  that  this  was  when  the  real  work  started,  and  for  someone  who  had  glided  through  an  (adult)  romantic  life  shrugging  off  commitment  and  skirting  past  the  responsibility  of  facing  his  emotions,  he  was  terrified.  it  was  easy,  however,  to  ground  himself  when  she  stood  in  front  of  him.  all  he  had  wanted  from  the  first  night  of  meeting  her  was  this.  the  next  seven  months  stood  in  front  of  him  like  a  goliath,  but  marcus  pushed  the  inevitable  future  away  once  her  question  floats  into  his  ears.  his  shortcomings  could  wait.  “  cat’s  cradle,  ”  marcus  answers  with  a  scrunch  of  his  nose,  throwing  a  haphazard  glance  at  the  bright  blue  cover  on  his  nightstand.  “  but  vonnegut  is  a  depressing  nihilist,  and  i  have much  more  interesting  things  to  pay  attention  to,  ”  words  were  pointed  despite  the  laughter  leaking  through  as  he  witnesses  her  frantic  movement  behind  his  curtain,  finding  her  modesty  simultaneously  amusing  and  endearing.  “  bummer,  ”  lips  are  pressed  in  a  tight  line  as  he  feigns  disappointment,  “  i  only  wanted  elena.  ”  his  shirt  wore  more  like  a  dress  on  her  small  frame,  and  he  could  feel  his  heart  swell  with  a  familiarity  marcus  had  been  longing  for.  “  forgive  me  for  not  thinking  of  an  underwear  hat  all  by  myself,  ”  he  begins,  stifling  laughter  as  she  climbs  up,  “  but  we’ve  got   all   night   to  talk  about  whatever  you  want.  ”  relishes  in  their  closeness  when  she’s  in  his  lap,  a  spark  of  electricity  in  the  kiss  she  leaves  on  his  skin,  her  hand  across  his  face.  that  current  of  electricity  spreads  wherever  she  moves,  no  matter  how  minuscule  the  shift.  “  again,  you’re  gonna  have  to  forgive  me  for  my  lack  of  flair.  i  might  have  to  depend  on  you  for  that.  i'm  lacking,  if  you  haven't  noticed.  ”  his  cheeks  began  to  ache  from  the  smile  he  so  proudly  wore.  he’s  grateful  beyond  measure  for  the  ease  in  this  interaction,  as  if  a  heavy  weight  had  been  shifted  from  when  she  had  first  walked  in  his  door.  for  now,  the  outside  world  didn’t  matter.  god,  even  her  pinging  phone  in  his  living  room  didn’t  matter.  “  i  was  saying  this  shirt  looks  much  better  on  you  than  it  does  me.  ”  he  takes  it  all  in,  tries  to  commit  it  to  memory  —  the  thick  balloon  of  emotion  in  his  chest,  the  feeling  of  her  skin  against  his  own,  the  sound  of  her  breathing.  this  is  what  he’ll  have  to  hold  onto  when  they're  thousands  of  miles  apart  with  only  a  screen  to  keep  them  connected.  “  don’t  ever  apologize  for  talking,  but  i  don’t  feel  like  this is  out  of  the  norm  for  you.  ”  a  chuckle  follows,  and  his  arm  slips  around  her  waist.  opens  his  mouth  to  speak,  to  release  a  thought  he'd  harbored  since  the  two  of  them  had  stopped  seeing  red,  but  out  of  habit,  he  slams  his  mouth  shut.  it's  a  silent  exultation  when  he  remembers  that  he  no  longer  has  to.  "  i  hate  what  it  took  to  get  here,  what  we  went  through  .  .  .  what  you  went  through, "  applies  a  glaring  emphasis  on  'you'  as  he  moves  a  damp  tendril  away  from  her  face,  " .  .  .  but  i'm  glad  we're  here.  "

give me a broken, self-loathing man who firmly believes no one could ever love him and a strong-willed woman who doesn’t take any of his shit and gradually becomes his light and hope and sun and stars and i assure you i will ship it til my dying breath

forget the fake dating plots, give me the fake engagement plots because it’s a hundred times more angst i mean?

when muse a has been telling their parents they’ve been seeing somebody and finally say they’re engaged to get them off their back, and then surprise!! the whole family ships out to meet the lucky person and they gotta suddenly scramble for a fake fiance/fiancee

when the person they ask is their friend and muse b has been secretly hiding that they actually have feelings but say yes just to get close to muse a and hopefully get rid of the feelings but god knows that doesn’t work

the moving in together and having to get used to sleepy faces and sleeping in the same room and awkwardly brushing their teeth in the morning but it eventually becomes very familiar and natural

meeting the family!!! listening to embarrassing stories and cute naked baby pics while muse a sits around moping bc “mooomm why are you showing these i asked you to burn these”

having to practice being affectionate so it looks real

“what do you mean kiss? right now? in front of the whole family?”

“kiss me right now in front of the whole family”

what becomes normal hand holding and touching even when they’re not in public

mom/grandmother bringing their old wedding dress and insisting muse b trying it on and it’s huge on her but the mom/grandmother is crying and muse a comes in and the dress is literally falling off muse b and their family members are crying in the corner

the family throwing a bridal shower and the couple casually cheating to win the newlywed game

actual bridal dress shopping!!! when muse b tries on ‘the dress’ and everybody is like omg…and muse a is like “shit shit these are real feelings ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION”

when the family leaves and the two try and go back to normal but deny there are any real feelings :(

when muse a starts dating somebody else and their family is like “they’re okay but i liked muse b better”

A N G S T

BEFORE SUNRISE (1995) dir. Richard Linklater

🐝  *  ―  𝑫𝑰𝑭𝑭𝑬𝑹𝑬𝑵𝑻 𝑾𝑨𝒀𝑺 𝑻𝑶 𝑯𝑼𝑮 𝑺𝑶𝑴𝑬𝑶𝑵𝑬.

[ side hug ] a casual and friendly hug where one person puts their arm around the other's shoulder / waist [ back hug ] a hug where one person comes up to another and wraps their arms around them [ bear hug ] a tight, warm, and engulfing hug [ waist hug ] a hug where both partners put their arms around each other's waist and hold onto them [ welcome hug ] a hug given to someone as a form of greeting [ goodbye hug ] a hug given to someone before they leave [ reunion hug ] a hug where one leaps into their partner's arms after time apart [ quick hug ] a quick hug that's usually accompanied by a quick pat on the back [ unreciprocated hug ] a hug where one partner remains motionless while the other hugs them [ eye-to-eye hug ] a hug during which two people gaze into each other's eyes [ patting hug ] a hug where one / both partner(s) give a pat on the back [ cuddle hug ] a tight hug where both tightly hold onto each other and one snuggles into the other person's chest [ pickpocket hug ] a hug where they have their arms behind their partner's back and their hands in their pockets [ straddle hug ] a hug where one straddles their partner's waist who is holding them up and they both keep eye contact [ heart-to-heart hug ] a hug where the left arm is over the partner's right shoulder and the right arm around the partner's left side [ london bridge hug ] a hug where the upper bodies are close to each other but the lower bodies are kept apart [ head-on-shoulder hug ] a hug where one partner holds onto their partner's arm and rests their head on their shoulder [ twirl hug ] a hug where one twirls the other around while tightly holding onto them [ flirty hug ] a hug where one has their arms around their partner's neck and their head on their chest [ lingering hug ] a long-lasting hug between close friends or romantic partners [ comforting hug ] a hug given to someone to comfort them [ touch starved hug ] a careful hug given to someone after noticing some signs of touch starvation [ running hug ] a hug where both partners run into each other's arms [ surprise hug ] a hug where one catches the other off guard with an unexpected hug [ apology hug ] a sincere and heartfelt hug given to convey apologies [ group hug ] a hug that involves multiple people [ slow dance ] a type of hug where both partners are incredibly close to one another and sway to some music [ shoulder-to-shoulder hug ] a hug where two people stand side-by-side with their arms around each other's shoulders [ family hug ] a hug given between two family members [ no-words-needed hug ] a hug given when no more words are needed and they just want to be close to one another

you know what makes me go absolutely  feral??  

when Muse A is injured, and scared, and won’t let anyone else check them out… just fights them all off / shrinks away, even though they’re really badly hurt and need medical attention.   and then Muse B — the only person they trust — approaches them, and gently talks them down and calms them down.  holds their hand while they get checked out.  let’s them squeeze it when it hurts. keeps them relaxed enough to them to get their injuries tended to

* chef’s kiss *