just a lil reminder i moved this blog to another with the same name ! 

which of them is more the ghost ?  entering the scene is lucie herondale,  knowing not why she’d extended a hand to grace blackthorn:  only that she had.  she walks into a room doused in moonlight,  ornate wallpaper torn at the scenes like ripped hems that carried a motif of thorns.  the curtains over the windows were gauzy and ripped through by some hand,  leaving tatters at their ends.  eyes a shade of blue unreal take it all in,  the long shadows cast by the furniture in the room,  heavy knobs and lines and ceilings that hang low.  all of it felt less like a girl’s chamber and more like a prison,  and the more lucie had realized of it,  the less she liked it.  the more she pitied grace,  and what an ill-omen legacy must have made her endure.

❛   i’m not trying to make you angrier.   ❜   she reasons this haphazardly,  hesitating from taking another creaking step across the woven-rug-moldering-floorboard room towards the other girl.  lucie had seen grace always outside of her element,  yet seemingly in it:   she was a creature made of careful sweetness,   like a finely-iced cake,  meant for show behind panes of glass,  for the hunger of those that could not have her.  that is what tatiana intended for her daughter,  what james had been captivated by and the rest betrayed in their innate understanding.  the writer was struck by words that could be used to describe such a character as she.  haughty,  beautiful,  delicate,  cold-forged.  cold even now as she comes apart.  her deep voice strained by sobs drawn from her pretty throat,  and the herondale would not venture to guess what might have occurred to break grace’s facade.  had they not borne late nights in one another’s reluctant company,  drawing upon old cures and dark arts and stepping from the world of the living into a plane of ghosts,  hand in hand ?  (  and always grace had seemed above all notions of fear or regret.  chin held high,  a swan’s neck inclining towards the night.  here she sits in her bed bent over and clutching at her knees beneath her skirts.  )  i should not have come.  ❛   i’m here because ...   ❜   because of jesse.  that is what she would say,  the lie numbing her lips with the poison of a half truth extended to one who she wished to give more.  

❛   you hadn’t sent word for days.  i was worried something had changed,  i suppose.   ❜   had grace ever been the sort to send word,  and not expect lucie’s presence as one honors a crescent-moon secret,  lucie might not have come by carriage at the dying hour to help her.  but nothing had been said to halt their efforts or indicate a change in routine  —  that which comprised the tenuous bond that involved them without question and had yet to weaken.  lucie’s lips purse together as she takes a bolder step towards grace’s languid form heaped on the bed.  she had never been said to have her mother’s care,  but certainly something of her courage and her father’s reckless streak.  surely that is what it was,  to risk the lacerating words that would follow at her disobedience.  wicked girl.  had grace any idea of what wickedness was,  or had it become so involved to her that any outstretched and untrustworthy hand seemed one fit to fell her ?   i am not a heroine or a savior,  but i am at least someone meant to help,  to be here now.   ❛   has it ?  tell me,  grace.   ❜   at the next lucie’s arms wrap around the other young woman,  her chin brushing the white-golden tresses that fell over grace’s shoulders and tear-stained face like a madwoman,  and it felt to lucie like holding a wounded dove or a frightened cat.  she wondered if it would be claws or talons sinking into her when the shock had passed on.  she swallowed tight with fear and hope for a better tale.   ❛   there.  now that you’re not going to fight me off,  or i vow to pull at your lovely hair remorselessly,  will you tell me what’s wrong ?  has something happened to you ?  ...  that horrible woman—   ❜

৲    ⟢    long lost album,    accepting    •    @lovetaled​    ›    lucie said:    if forever gets lonely,   take my hand.

panicked hiccups wracked the room.    its cold white walls bore down on her wrangled shadow as the sun pricked itself against the city’s pincers.  this was her room,  always had been since she could remember through the blurry fractals of her past.  but that was a lie,  was it not?  she had been someone else before she had been grace blackthorn,  had been someone’s real daughter.  it had been a crushing blow,   the revelation that she had been tricked and her memories altered,   and through her tatiana’s cruelty had been expounded upon other unassuming names.  she had ran from it all,  from the bridgestock’s hospitality to lucie’s prying eyes crawling into her bones,  and found herself back where it had all started:   slamming the door shut and crumpling over the bed,  her body throbbing with each choked sob.

⍘  i do not wish to speak to you,  ⍘    she said with a strangled shriek,  fists clasping down over the duvet as she arched herself to a sitting.   her face twisted into a scathing scowl,  wet tears smudged against the corner of her mouth.    ⍘  i do not wish!  i do not want  …  ⍘     a quiver to her bottom lip,  her hand pressed against her delicate mouth as the door squeaked and opened its mouth in an arc.   grace turned her face away,  breath shaking and eyes closed until she felt a weight sink beside her on the bed.    ⍘  i want to be alone.  ⍘    i do not,  i do not …    ⍘  there is no greater joy.   i want to be alone forever than to be with you.  ⍘

a crack splintered the end of her voice as she spoke it,  her brother and mother’s face scarring her face with anguish.     (  was there anywhere she could belong?    she pictured a small house,  a garden variety of shrubs,  her chin tilted to the sun as lucie’s voice called from behind,  beckoning towards a cauldron of honey.    her voice as she said:   if forever gets lonely,  take my hand.  )     a pair of arms came around her,  a chin tucked over her shoulder.  the noise she loosed in response devastated her pride,  the heels of her palms digging into her eyes.    ⍘  lucie,   please …  ⍘    lulled back,  her tulle dress caught under her knee as her spine came to rest against lucie’s chest.   then her hand rose to press against the girl’s skin before entwining with her fingers,  their joined fists set against her own sputtering heart.    ⍘  there,  you wicked girl.  you have succeeded.  ⍘

just fulfilled my lifelong dream of buying a lagoona blue doll ✨

what if girls didn’t fight ... 

exhausted but will be here this weekend !  😴

4, 17 +15 ( praying you didn't get these already )

4. what sections of a bookstore do you browse?

depends on which bookstore i'm at !  but generally, the front area with the popular stuff ( gotta see what the booktokers are pushing now, ) the YA section, the fiction section, the mythology/classics shelf/section, and the book related merch section ! my favorite bookstore is in downtown portland and it has like 5 stories of books so you can imagine how one could get lost there.  and there’s a cafe with cheap used books for the taking.

15. recommend and review a book.

going with rebecca by daphne du muir !  i read this one at the start of last year encouraged by the release of evermore .. as taylor was nodding to it in tolerate it and no body,  no crime.  it’s a quick read,  that follows a nameless protagonist who marries a mysterious wealthy man,  maxim de winter,  while on vacation in monte carlo.  she returns to his home as his new wife to a mansion known as manderley,  and is gradually “haunted” by the spirit of maxim’s dead socialite wife,  rebecca.  the book is feminist gothic,  fast paced enough to be considered a thriller,  and engrossing.  it’s reminiscent of jane eyre but different enough to be its own thing,  with some more modern twists.  basically the book unhinged me for a lot of reasons and i watched the 1940 film after,  which was mostly canon consistent,  and it got me into a phase of feminist gothic/horror.  i consider it a 5/5 star read and remember the prose being simple yet interesting,  like a mystery novel.  it’s also cleverly written in how one can relate to a nameless narrator character who second-handedly experiences the disinterest,  secrecy,  and comparison to a dead woman according to her husband,  and question the reliability of her pov.  i have du muir’s other book,  my cousin rachel,  on my shelf right now and i plan to read it this year.

17. top 5 children’s books?

in no particular order ..

the titan's curse,   rick riordan.

the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe,  c.s. lewis.

howl's moving castle,  diana wynne jones.

the secret garden,  frances hodgson burnett.

anne of green gables,  l.m. montgomery.

15 and 19 wink

15. recommend and review a book.

okay uh ..  if we’re going with what i know you haven’t yet read i would say the folk of the air series by holly black,  the cruel prince specifically !  i read it in 2019-2020 so it’s been a little while but i remember really appreciating the whimsical feel of the world and finding it a lot more true to faerie folklore and vibes than other series that shall remain nameless.  the heroine jude is interesting and well-written without seeming cliche ( as she’s an assassin type which can feel overdone in fantasy. )  the love interest cardan is faceted and entertaining.  i enjoy the enemies to lovers here.  it does feel classic and organically YA with its take on the dynamic,  and the series as a whole manages to grasp a lot of the fun tropes that readers look for in YA without being juvenile or repetitive or derivative of other works.  the scenes flow together well and there is a component of court politics,  betrayal,  alliances,  and all that good stuff.  the magic system didn’t seem flawed to me but rather easy to understand,  and similar to cassandra cl.are’s stuff there is an element of urban fantasy woven in as well  ( elfhame,  the faerie world,  coexisting with modern day reality. )  my only disappointment is that when i read the first book i was lead to believe it would focus more heavily on the “tournament” that jude is a part of,  but that plot really takes a backseat to what goes on,  and being an aries i was like  ..  smacks lips where’s the competition.  the later additions of the series are in my opinion better than the first book as well  —  while the wicked king drags a bit in the middle.  my favorite was actually the third.  overall would recommend and am looking myself to re-read or read the extraneous content finally.  one of my biggest praises would also be how the story has a romantic plot at its center,  but it is not definitive or consummate of the characters themselves,  who manage to have interesting family dynamics and relationships play out in the story that aren’t limited to those with other teenagers.

19. most disliked popular books?

answered here !  i wouldn’t necessarily say most disliked  ..  just most disliked that i’ve actually endured reading instead of dropping them.  besides the selection which is no longer popular.

10 & 19 <3

10. do you have a guilty fav?

answered here !  to add on,  my other guilty fave is twilight.  just the first book.  it’s not great and it’s not top tier literature but i enjoy it  ..  where else am i gonna find my home state repped in these paranormal romances.

19. most disliked popular books?

i don't consider this a hot take remotely and other people have said it better ..  but i'm not a fan of sarah j maas.  i read the acota.r books last year after attempting to in 2019 and dnf'ing after the first book,  and honestly i felt bamboozled.   i was surprisingly enjoying acoma.f or at least the first 1/2 of it on my second attempt, which gave me a renewed chance of being like "hey maybe it's not so bad" because it was going with a lot of familiar tropes i enjoy ( a dash of hateship and a hades/persephone-esque dynamic, basically. ) but by the time i got to the third this woman lost me entirely with her complete lack of plot or meaningful characterization.  i would say as far as vibes go and some of the worldbuilding details,  that i do think acotar has its appealing points and don't mind the idea of fixing the series when it comes to writing characters on here,  but i have no desire to return to the books and can't see myself re-reading them or future installations.  despite the writing and other issues that contribute to my dislike of the series,  my main issue with her as an author and as it remains prevalent in her books is the sense that sjm doesn't treat sensitive issues ( like SA ) well   ..  or endeavor to represent conscientious diversity in her books.  this is more obvious to me from what i've seen of her c.rescent city series,  where basically the same tropes and issues i have with acotar are multiplied.  it really sticks out that sjm also doesn't seem to recognize the problematic way she views gender binary or portrays queer characters as being incredibly stereotypical and not at all central to her main cast.   the fact that the fandom had to clarify that the illyrians aren't white because sarah wasn't interested in doing so is also pretty yikes.  and it does get on my nerves that this series is considered feminist given how often women are objectified or given the male gaze fantasy treatment very gratuitously for a female author to be responsible let alone praised for it.

1, 9, 14!! 💛

book you’ve reread the most times?

answered here !

9. when do you tend to read most?

lately it's been during my breaks at work ..  hiding in the back room from the no-foam latte customers but ideally early evening or mid-morning.   it's been hard for me to focus on it and read for long periods of time without getting distracted so i tend to just sit down and do a quick chapter read like some people take quick naps.  i think the two times i mentioned are easiest for me because my brain is either waking up or winding down and i'm not too actively thinking about anything else.  i've noticed this year i've been doing a lot more reading in parks on nice days and i hope to do that more this summer.

14. do you ever mark/dog ear books you own?

never dog ear,   i use bookmarks .. respectably.  or i shut the book and find my place because i live for chaos.  but i do annotate books if my class calls for it.  i've not often been a write in the margins sort of person,  which my degree would kind of anticipate. i need to get out of that mindset and start marking up my stuff though so i can go back to it and remember it and personalize my readings.  but i have annotated books before and sent them to friends !  ‘tis a love language.

1 and 3 !! <3

book you’ve reread the most times?

i think catching fire by suzanne collins ! my roleplay days barely missed my hunger games phase in high school that was very much my emotional support series. i would still consider it overall to be the strongest in YA that i've read ( or having the most relevant/mature breadth ) for the themes it utilizes and the speculative element of the society depicted. it also spawned that whole dystopian YA craze,  while none of the other additions came close. the depth of the themes, the lines, the romance subplot that was perfectly fit in the scope of a greater story ..  the friends to lovers,  the unlikely allies,  the fake dating because if we don't our families will die but oops one of us has actual feelings  ..  and i would say stylistically,  the irony that the author implied by the games being twistedly-absorbing to an audience that you actively take part in while reading really resounds with me.  i feel like catching fire even more than the other the two books showed the revolutionary aspect in the series the most,  introduced the characters i love ( finnick )  and is a strong example of a second book in a trilogy,  part of the reason i see that trend happening of me favoring the sequel in most of my favorite series.  never mind that it was tragic and disturbing and didn't exactly end happily ..  i'm sensing a pattern here because the other book i've read the most is clockwork angel.  for the plot.

( the plot: )

3. what is your favourite genre?

for the most part,  fantasy !  gotta have that magical component to a story for me to be really involved,  especially when it involves fairytale or mythology tropes and reworks them in an interesting way.  however ..  i do not like high fantasy in any respect.  can’t do asoiaf,  anything sanderson,  or those stories with too much worldbuilding and detail that bogs down my enjoyment of simpler tropes and characterization,  which is why my fantasy reading mostly stays in the YA category.  i also really enjoy a good romance/slice of life vibe and would say that’s my comfort genre.  and for classic literature i am into gothic romance.  works by the brontës,  mary shelley and other romantic era authors/poets,  old monster novels,  paranormal romance,  gothic feminist pieces  ..  love that stuff.  and finally my area of expertise with my lit degree so far is regency fiction/romance.  a subgenre i will never give up and hope to do my thesis on !

do you have a guilty fav?

10.  do you have a guilty fav?

i don't know about guilty ..  but i would say c.assandra clare’s shadowhunters chronicles or l.eigh bardugo’s shadow and bone trilogy !  i think it's because both series have a lot of flaws that i squint and puzzle my brain out over,  like why would the author make this choice,  this would be so much better if this one element/ending was fixed,  but at the end of the day i enjoy both series despite my criticisms.  i've re-read the first shadow and bone book and clockwork angel several times because i enjoy the way these books are paced and introduce the main cast of characters and the worlds they exist in,  and i can pinpoint the exact scenes i like going back to the most.  there is something in the two that i can just fall into and laugh and enjoy,  which makes for good reading honestly.  but really the romantic plots and drama in both are what i’m here for.  constant serve never a dull moment.

2, 11, 20 !

2. top 5 books of all time?

oh yeesh ... desert island books ?

pride and prejudice, jane austen.

the great gatsby, f. scott fitzgerald.

the perks of being a wallflower, stephen chbosky.

the lightning thief, rick riordan ( .. or maybe titan's curse. )

this is the spot for my token YA novel that i love subjectively but don't elevate critically ... either six of crows by leigh bardugo or clockwork prince by cassandra clare ! .. or catching fire by suzanne collins which i would praise overall.

11. what non-fiction books do you like if any?

i don't remember the last time i read a nonfiction book.  i'm thinking i don't own any ... maybe for school or something i read during my excessive therapy years or dating back to my purity culture upbringing so not exactly good associations !  i'm sure i'll want to read nonfiction eventually,  like when i'm an adult who is actually an adult,  but reading is something i very much associate with escapism and hopeful feelings and i don't like it attached to the mundane so much ?   i feel like fiction also has the power to move me and make sense of how i see the world in a way where strict,  logical realism or information turns my brain off,  and i tend to make connections through abstract ideas instead  ( i’m an infj ).  ya girl doesn't self-help book or journal she just sits and thinks while rotting in her bed.  i know other forms of nonfiction exist but honestly i don't remember reading them unless we’re talking history textbooks.

20. what are things you look for in a book?

it depends on what i'm reading and why,  but i think mostly strong characterization/character driven narratives.  this is the appeal of YA/midrange to me that i can't quite trade for adult literature fully,  despite how i am mostly disappointed by the fantasy genre of it nowadays.  i definitely look for creative takes on tropes and the presence of those i appreciate,   but i never trust book comparisons in reviews or when people recommend a book based on vibes,  because i'm always disappointed.  i've found the most expansive and interesting stories i've read tend to the simpler ones that aren't so tailored to a certain niche.  unlike how a ton of fantasies have debuted recently based on mythology but fail to create interesting or memorable characters,  or how commonplace retellings especially tend to fall flat because they play on these familiar ideas presented in the original media but don't pay them homage or do them justice ( like fairytale or classic lit. )   i look for unlikely heroes with an underdog quality or personal doubts that they're working through, tragic love stories, some element of magic or the supernatural, and an overall quest for a form of meaning that goes beyond the characters themselves, that the reader will resonate with  ..  hero's journey-esque.  prose with some raw cutting lines or i'll probably forget the book as an experience.  scenes that are memorable and have a cinematic quality,  pacing that is well balanced  ( i think six of crows is an excellent example of this.  never a dull moment and you can vividly picture everything. )  representation is important,  i don’t find one demographic of characters relatable and no one should.  i also really need romance and i don't like books that don't have some profound dynamic in them of some kind !  but my standards are high and not limited just to the type so much as the execution.  like you can't just go  "oh this book is friends to lovers"  and have me pick it up.   i need slow burn and mutually-transformative growth here.  or they can make each other worse that's fine too.

book asks:

book you’ve reread the most times?

top 5 books of all time?

what is your favourite genre?

what sections of a bookstore do you browse?

where do you buy books?

what books have you read in the last month?

is there a series/book that got you into reading?

what is the first book you remember reading yourself?

when do you tend to read most?

do you have a guilty fav?

what non-fiction books do you like if any?

did you enjoy any compulsory high school readings?

do you have a goodreads?

do you ever mark/dog ear books you own?

recommend and review a book.

how many books have you read this year?

top 5 children’s books?

do you like historical books? which time period?

most disliked popular books?

what are things you look for in a book?

camp jupiter was an anomalous mirror of a world reflecting itself back at its missing facet,   jason grace:  revealing with an undimmed glare the parts he used to know and frequent for so many years,  seeming to guide his steps as he wanders aimless for an answer,  unsure of the question.  he turns his steps towards the senate,  retracing his old life,  caught up in his un-muddling thoughts.  the whole truth of jason’s prior existence still felt distant,  out of focus like it was through fogged lenses that he looked at it at all,  even though it’d started coming back to him first in dreams back on long island,  showing the faces of those he knew he’d known,  that conjured memories displaced from who he was now.  when he’d imagined camp for all those weeks,  the whole picture of it was something he worried he’d never regain in truth:  warm,  familiar,  filled in at the edges and out of touch.  worst of all jason wasn’t yet able to tell if he really wanted,  or only felt obligated,  to step back into his old skin.

the mid-morning california sun beats down on his shoulders when he pauses a moment to survey the glittering edifices of new rome,  his blue eyes at the next alighting upon a familiar face.  the cautious smile at the corner of his lips,  quickly neutralized like the threat reyna considered it to be,  her expression merciless when she regards him.  we weren’t just friends.  best friends.  but from her angry expression and the skip in his chest,  and most of all from his heart pitting in his stomach when she turns her brutal gaze upon his approach,  jason wonders if they weren’t more.  she had the look of what he thought an angry ex might seem like.  not that he’d know.  before she can storm off,  he takes her wrist in his hand  —  careful not to hold it too tightly,  as words already fail him.   ❛❛   hey,  reyna  ..  i know a lot has changed.  but you and i,   ❜❜   jupiter’s son falters for words as he holds reyna’s stare  (  queen’s,  more like:   regality and power and praetor,  which had to be a mantle on her shoulders as well as an advantage.  )   ❛❛   we used to share everything,  didn’t we ?  what we were afraid of,  when things got too much  ...  i  remember talking about it together a lot.   ❜❜   his wary hand starts to relent with each coldblooded second as the other stands more statuesque than terminus;  that is,  unmoved by his words,  and actually unmoving.    ❛❛   i might not be the jason grace you remember,  but i’m here.  does that count for nothing ?   ❜❜

⟢     💬    accepting,      @lovetaled​     ›   jason   …   reyna.

agony was bearable,  she would think.  but despair?  despair was like cold water pelting her bare skin,  drawing in involuntary gasps as her body shook,  her hands clamped around her arms,  shuddering.  it was the weight of dread coiling between her ribs as her hair was soaked,   chilled to the bone.   that was what she felt,  stood frozen stiff in spot and gasping inwardly,  when jason grace cut through the street just below the senate towards her.

reyna turned impulsively,  but if her boots had a pride of their own they didn’t let her storm off.  instead she pressed the heel of her hand right under her right eye,  felt her expression ripple with bitterness,  and cleared her throat as she brushed down her hands over her tunic.     ❛❛   grace,   ❜❜    she said coldly,   the word the blade end of a dagger when she turned to face him,  expression pinched.    ❛❛   i don’t have anything to say to you.   ❜❜

“But dying’s part of the wheel, right there next to being born. You can’t pick out the pieces you like and leave the rest. Being part of the whole thing, that’s the blessing.”

                         Alexis Bledel as Winnie Foster in Tuck Everlasting

...  paperbacks or hardcovers ?

🦋