The Girl Next-Door

I want to be her friend, but I also really want her legs wrapped around my face.

Keep sharing words - Carrot or Stick?

I realized that everything I write does not get the light of day. Fortunately for my own soul's relief, someone near and dear to me has given my complex reflective criticism of the words I conjure up.. a bit of a spurring to get back on the saddle (in short, encouragement). Nothing has been recently written or shared due to the incomparable insanity of the roller coaster ride that has been my own life these last several years. If it wasn't doubt, then it was dissatisfaction or the momentary (yet enduring for a long while) incapability to find the words for everything in life that is and can be fleeting. Next came the self-inflicted and environmentally reinforced numbing of body, soul, and mind for reasons that would only steer me from the point... expect more shit to read coming from yours truly!

And please if you enjoy reading anything I spew out and share or find it entertaining, stimulating, triggering, or whatever the hell my unfiltered thoughts might may or may not do to/for you then let me know. Apply the concept of positive reinforcement in the form of a like, comment, or share (I hate saying that out loud). I will be much more likely to keep throwing my poop out into the internet's void.

Wholeheartedly always, Love Repo

I have to make it abundantly clear that I fucking LOOOOVE Cyberpunk Edgerunners. It's raw in-your-face brutality and unapologetic displays of the traumatizing underworld are met with a tragic-struck kid who finds his will to go on by finding love, concepts of honor, and true grit as well as a sense of belonging from his befriended seasoned criminal gang that shows him the ropes of being a mercenary. It is emotional and sentimental while downright bad fucking ass. Drugs, Hackers, Sex, Murder, Money, Love, Glory, Heartbreak, Struggle, Power, so many facets to this beautiful EPIC of love and death. The streets and life for the misfortunate is a bloody war: It is fought and won by the FEARLESS and those with the biggest HEARTS. I could write essays about not just the Edgerunners animated series, but the entire universe and stories that expand into the 2077 and Phantom Liberty RPG. Don't be a gonk, chip your chrome, delta the bullshit, find your chooms, and you just might not get flatlined. See you in and at The Afterlife.

“Seriously? You’ve never drunk before?”

93 'til! All I've got on me is flowers and a scorpion too :)

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings obliteration. And I will face my fear and I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past... I will turn the inner eye and see its path. And the fear will be gone... there will be nothing. Only I will remain. "

REBECCA FERGUSON as LADY JESSICA DUNE (2021) dir. Denis Villeneuve

Beautiful cinematography, screenplay, cast, original literature, the concepts... all of it. Bravo.

Open your mind - consume the spice and the water of life.

Dune: Part Two (2024) dir. Denis Villeneuve

I can't stop thinking about the Dune films. Amazing.

Lady Margot Fenring

"Nipsey inspired me that time is of the essence. So don't treat it like it isn't... you gotta go for it. If it's on your heart, then you gotta go get it"

- Big Sean explaining his special release of Deep Reverence with Nipsey Hussle. In this personal review, Big Sean talks about his gains and losses and how they were conveyed through the song. Some things that he said that I wanted to highlight:

"I realize that it's just all perspective sometimes...

A doctor told me that there's two types of stress: DISTRESS and YOU-STRESS. DISTRESS is that enables you and slows you down and makes you not perform at your highest. But YOU-STRESS.. pushes you to limits that your body wouldn't normally go to if you were just comfortable. I felt like I was under a lot of both of those... That YOU-STRESS really came through for me and helped me focus and push...

life doesn't always go how you want it to go. When you give it up to God... you give it up to the universe and that is working with you... it's for a reason... I have to remember what I'm asking for.. for me to be the best version of myself. For God to work with me.. to show me what I need to do.. to live in my purpose. I was just venting at the time, you know? And like me and my dad had some conversations...

And I had tears in my eyes for sure...

I feel like my city put me on, period. It's a place where you gotta earn people's support... it's a tough crowd in Detroit."

Some of Big Sean's lyrics from the song resonates with me deeply:

"And I got pressure on me

Seven days a week, it's game seven on me

Life'll test you out, you live through that, that's testimony

Givin' them hell, but how in the hell I got all these blessings on me?

...

Lookin' at my life story, God's a good author.

...

Get you one shot in life, you might not be able to reload

So advanced, I need all my advances

Bro hit me up for cash like we didn't have the same chances

My dad hit me up like, "Why I don't live in a mansion?"

I'm tryna focus, but baby girl keep holdin' my mind for ransom

And that ain't how it supposed to be, this man Hov got to a B

And his name SEAN too, I almost felt like it was me

Damn, I realized all my setbacks were inside of me

In high school, I learned chemistry, biology

But not how to cope with anxiety

...

If it ain't Nipsey blue, it's Detroit blue

This that Detroit 2, I'm bringin' it back to my hood like d-boys do

Gone!"

Big Sean's personal review:

The song & music video:

FKA Twigs performing Hide amidst Mayan ruins in Tulum, Mexico. <3 She is drop-dead infatuating in this <3

#fkatwigs #mayanruins #ancientmayan #thedivinefeminine

Love Repo

I have decided to start posting again. It has been curiously interesting for me to look back on what I was doing at points in time and what was firing off my frontal cortex synapses. I feel it is so pretentious to admit and self-profess that I am a person who has lived through so many colors of life. I stopped verbally communicating many of my experiences with new individuals who came into my life because so much of it so crazy for even me to hear myself say out loud. I hear my own words and I quickly realize that it will very rarely be received well by anyone. The thing is... they asked. I have come to feel like my life and my Truth is too much to put into perspective for those who aren't deeply near and dear to me. There are already so many other "normal" social hurdles to clear to form a bond. I get discouraged a lot from socializing, but I love people. and their stories It has made me look to my past for the deep level of companionship that I have or had with the ones I love/loved. Now, at 30. I have exhausted the massive list of relationships and acquaintances that I made throughout my years around the world. I can count on one hand those I call friends. Maybe this is the inevitable result of our social constructs combined with our choices, mistakes, and desires. I know that in everybody's heart, they want to connect with someone. Sometimes I think maybe it's just me who unfortunately arrived at a point in my life where that is very much lacking (I claim it is the result of Niccolò Machiavelli's abstract concept of "fortuna y virtu") while it seems so many people have healthy and meaningful relationships. I extend myself truthfully, wholeheartedly, and lovingly. I don't want to believe I am the problem nor are others. I begin to tell facets of my life to people and they quickly put the moments my life dipped below the average homeostatic line of resilience to sorrow for the majority of humans. People use there own experiences as a baseline for understanding and comparing those of others, but those who haven't lived to the very most extremes on both ends of the spectrum (from the depths of despair and suffering to blissfully soaking up life without limit) incorrectly deem your experiences to be leaning one way or the other. The forefront of It is just an epically divine comedy that this has been what it has come to. I celebrate life, I want to dance again, embrace someone in pain, make you cry, laugh, smile, and ultimately... share in the beauty of life.. synchronized in the moment. Mistakes, Death, and Loss, will not be the sole dictating Fates of the remainder of my life. I will somehow get back LIFE. I will be repossessing love...

and for those who don't know, I have been mnemonically known as "Repo" for almost 15 years by friends, and given that fact... I poetically sign:

Love,

Repo

life is beautiful so much unknown to us

Visualization showing the flow of first 10,000 digits of Pi, revealing how the number Pi looks like. Circle is divided in 10 segments, from 0 to 9. Then path is traced, going from the third segment to the first segment. From 1, the path jumps to 4, then back to 1, then 5 and so on. After a while, Pi appears in front of your eyes. The final illustration is beautiful.

Illustration for Goodnight Moon, Clement Hurd / Class of 2013, Mitski

looks like you.. someone I have grown more and more attracted to from a distance over time through the frequency you transmit

x

#art #witch #witches #wizards #monsters

Compilation of disturbing witches, wizards, sabbath and monsters in art.