Intentionally wearing ill fitting clothing to help motivate myself and see my progress. I've lost 14lbs since the end of August. I wish it were more, but it's still not too bad. I can finally actually start to see a difference now.

I will never, ever, EVER let myself gain 20lbs from binge drinking ever again because this has been a major setback for all the progress I'd made before I started drinking heavily again jfc.

Meeting my online pal of 3 years in November.

We started a competition to lose 20lbs by the time we meet lmao I love this. I'm tryna lose more since she already weighs 10lbs less than me to start with

when people ask me for directions i’m sorry. i’m not that kind of girl

My gut refuses to heal after taking antibiotics.

At this rate, maybe I WILL have a skinny September. I've lost 7lbs in 2 weeks (obvi mostly water weight) bc I have to choose between eating and nearly shitting myself multiple times a day or not eating and nearly shitting myself slightly fewer times a day.

I know I should probably go to the dr lmao but I've been taking probiotics to try to help and drinking lots of water and electrolyte drinks to stay hydrated at least.

ugw is cancelled, it’s now called my final form

Me: I feel like I actually lost a couple pounds! Let’s check

The scale:

Thinking about how the Uchiha take/swap out eyeballs like it's nbd, totally normal

Sometimes I feel like a failure as an adult...but at the same time, why "grow up" and have a job that requires effort and get married and have kids when you can enjoy being drunk as fuck on a Tuesday night jamming to a Japanese pop song that's one of the openings to an anime you hate while wearing a Twisted Metal Black shirt alone with your cat who probably regrets being adopted (and I still make a LOT of money at my "no-effort, unskilled job")

I've done nothing with my life according to the haters, but my bills are paid with leftovers and I'm fucking chilling and that's what matters

The antibiotics they gave me for strep have been making me shit like 200 times a day and I am losing my fucking MIND the amount I have shit in the past 5 days shouldn't be legal or even possible

Holy fuck this one did me in 🤣🤣🤣

I love alcohol. At least today. Today, alcohol is glorious. Today, alcohol is what I need. My blood is on fire. Everything is beautiful. I can touch God. I am a god. Everything I touch is electric and I'm not afraid to die.

Reblog if you have made a friend online that you would love to hang with, but they live far away.

My younger buddy from the convenience store: I don't have depression, I don't get like super sad and I can still function. I just get this heavy, empty void feeling in my chest.

Me in my head: oh honey...oh no

I wish I could call out of work bc a subreddit made me have a meltdown

Tw s/h, paranoia/delusions, death mentions

I'm spiraling. I came across a subreddit in a comment and just by the name alone I wasn't sure if I should click on it. But I did. And then I read the description and KNEW I should leave, but I didn't. It's a sub about the Mandela effect and other similar theories about things. I found a post made by someone else with a similar "delusion" about actually having died in a situation where they should have died and now this is all either a different timeline as an "escape" from actually dying, or death actually happened and none of this is real now. It just makes so much fucking sense. There are multiple times I should have died, but somehow I'm still here. My take on the theory is that I DID die the first time I "should have but didn't", and now I'm trapped in some sort of reality that's scattered with "normal", alive people and people who are like me - dead but not dead. And I instinctively know how they died somehow. They're always the people I bond with the most.

I feel like I can never die, and it's horrible. I want to cut so badly right now. I don't know if it's because I want to feel "real" or if I want to slice myself open to prove that I'm already dead and can't die again. I don't know. I'm scared.

im so embarrassed to be disordered sometimes like how did i get this cringe