The broken glass represents my self esteem.. How terrible is t that it has broken so deeply that it can never recover? I can only hope to amend it now and I shall with time.. Time will heal me.. It always does

Escape 2014

Escape 2014

I made this!!! Pretty proud of IT right now.. Makes me feel hopeful for things to come

Escape 2014

I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor

You are no longer part of my life, and I will see you it that you never become part of my life again.

My song now, and for anytime I might think that I am down because of you.. Never happening again.. I'm stronger than this.. I'm a survivor and everything you have put me through is a is a remainder of how I should never feel down or depressed again.. This little post is to express how much these lyrics mean to me and in what way.. every couple of lines of lyrics i will add my own little writing describing my feelings and emotions towards each line because this song literally has it all.. So much emotion and so much in the little three minutes that it is.. I have been listening to it all my life, but it has never meant much to me until now..

At first I was afraid I was petrified Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side

It has been two years and something since my love has grown for you.. And in the year and four months that we dated, i never pictures us apart. For me, everything was going so well.. So i have my things, so did you.. but i worked and fought so that they wouldnt be a burden.. and when you broke up with me, my heart shattered into a million pieces.. And started thinking to myself.. What is next for me? I kept on thinking about "us" for so long that i forgot about me..

But then I spent so many nights Thinking how you did me wrong And I grew strong And I learned how to get along

By you befriending a friend you blocked for me.. one who called you worthless and one who made you suffer.. I grew stronger.. That was enough for me to notice how much you never cared about me.. and how i wasted two years of my life loving someone who never loved me back.. you might have felt it for a moment, but it was never me.. you only loved my love for you.. Because you never loved the person that I am..

And now you're back from outer space I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face I should have changed that stupid lock I should have made you leave your key If I've known for just one second you'd back to bother me

It has been almost four weeks since you left me.. almost four weeks of pain and realization and more pain because of the realization.. And now you want to talk to me again? you want me to be friends with you? Youre bothering me? No.. I am finally getting back up from the hole you put me through and I am climbing that wall.. This wall is tricky and difficult to climb.. But you best believe that i will make it to the top without slipping.. So do yourself a favor and stop talking to me.. Because as you can tell.. I am not replying..

Go on now, go walk out the door Just turn around now 'Cause you're not welcome anymore Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye Do you think I'd crumble Did you think I'd lay down and die?

When you left me you actually thought that I was going to die.. to become an alcoholic and throw myself completely towards depression.. maybe i thought about it for a second, but i am smarter than you think.. and i was not about to throw myself away for someone who didnt even deserve my thoughts..

Oh no, not I. I will survive Oh as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive I've got all my life to live I've got all my love to give and I'll survive I will survive!

I spent three weeks in another country visiting my family and friends that i have not seen in over a decade.. I had many laughs and a lot of good times with them but i also had struggles.. I had struggles because the person that was supposed to be with me, never talked to me.. treated me like they owned me, and expected me to write everything even though most likely, they would ignore me completely for days on end.. when youre in a relationship, you dont ignore the other person.. Specially when they are that far apart from you.. I think about all the times you have ignored me, made me feel unappreciated, and gave me your back.. But yet, i was always there for anything you needed.. you never were absent from me because i made sure my presence was felt.. You didnt care.. you never did.. all you cared about was the girl behind your blocked friends.. Now you have her.. so go.. go with her.. Leave me alone to keep on growing and keep on living my life.. dont have someone to talk to? talk to her.. dont have someone to listen and actually care about everything you have to say? she can pretend.. cause i guarantee she wont really care.. but she is who you want.. so please go.. and leave me alone

It took all the strength I had not to fall apart Kept trying' hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart And I spent oh so many nights Just feeling sorry for myself, I used to cry But now I hold my head up high And you see me, somebody new

My heart may still be broken, my thoughts may still wonder where you are and may still want you back.. But not me.. My brain and what controls me is stronger than ever.. and I will not let my heart let you in again.. I will not let myself let you in again.. You are no longer part of my life because you wanted it that way.. So yes ive cried.. but way too much.. and now its all over.. I will no longer cry, i will no longer ask myself the "what ifs" im done with you.. you and everything you are.. If I see you passing on the street i will not look your way.. and please.. dont look into mine.. because you will not like what you see

I'm not that chained up little girl who's still in love with you And so you felt like dropping in And just expect me to be free Now I'm saving all my lovin' for someone who's loving me Go on now, go walk out the door Just turn around now 'Cause you're not welcome anymore Weren't you the one who tried to crush me with goodbye Do you think I'd crumble Did you think I'd lay down and die?

Oh no, not I. I will survive Oh as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive I've got all my life to live I've got all my love to give and I'll survive I will survive, Oh

Go on now, walk out the door Just turn around now 'Cause you're not welcome anymore Weren't you the one who tried to crush me with goodbye Do you think I'd crumble Did you think I'd lay down and die? Oh no, not I. I will survive Oh as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive I've got all my life to live I've got all my love to give and I'll survive I will survive, I will survive!

I have come to the conclusion that if I really want to move on, I have to gather everything I have and just do it.. that means that I have no communication with you what so ever, and i will keep that promise, youre going to try to be my friend? go ahead.. let me show you how it feels to be ignored for weeks.. months.. years.. I am no longer under your spell.. Little by little im picking myself up and growing strong.. They say that each tear makes you stronger.. I must be girl hulk by now because of how much i have cried over you.. But you best believe that no more tears will come from me.. I am done.. Go have some fun with your other friend I am sure she is much better company than what i will be...

You Want to know How I'm Feeling.. HERE IT IS!!!!!

Random-Not so Random Rant

I cant believe I was so stupid.. To actually think that you cared for me for one second.. To go with that ONE person I most disliked.. That one person that broke us up in the beginning, the one person that destroyed everything I build.. yes, because it was only me who built this.. You never cared about me.. I courted you.. I looked for you.. I am the one that was STUPID enough to fall in love with a guy for two and a half years while he only cared about himself.. He never wanted me.. He always wanted her.. The only reason he was with me is because of all the love and all the affection I gave him..

For me, he was my first everything.. Except for one thing.. But everything I had to offer in a relationship I did because I love him.. And yea, I might still be in love with him because unfortunately there is no off switch because if there was it would have been pulled a long time ago.. Maybe the time you first broke up with me.. I cried my eyes out for two weeks and begged you to take me back even though in within those two weeks you made out with that ONE person!!! The one that you would always text.. the one that you would call your best friend that is actually the one you are actually in LOVE with!! Yes! You are in love with her because with her, everything is so simple, you have so much in common, but the biggest thing that both of you have in common is how FAKE you guys are!!!!..

Her for betraying a friend that she aparently cared for, even though the only reason you got back with me after I begged you was because she called you worthless.. She is the type of person that knows how to handle you.. something i never learned how to do.. I guess handling you means being ignored, not appressiated, and always on the sidelines.. I guess i wasnt mean enough for you.. Because she treats you like crap.. and when you notice, she comes back and gives you an act of kindness that bings you right back to where you started.. and you know that this is true.. She told you that everything was not worth your friendship.. and you were so hurt and annoyed that you went into the arms of somebody who actually cared for you and showed you that every single day..  and you misled me into believing that what she had for a year and four months was love when it was actually a way to fill your emptiness and your longing for the family you missed.. Because the second your family got home, you completely changed, you left me in the dark and only came after me when you were tired of your family and wanted a different kind of affection..

I gave you EVERYTHING I had!! I was there for you in everything you ever did and even there for you and your family!! I loved your family!! I would have done anything for you.. I was so in love that i would have married you!!!! I would have gone anywhere in the world for you.. but guess what, you did not want that.. you only stayed because of my love for you.. You even said so yourself "I love how much you love me" OH HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO BLIND!!! Whenever you would talk about me, the real me, the jealous, psycho, obnoxious, sensitive, and childish, you would say how much of a burden i am.. How i should trust you and that you cared about me enough never to hurt me.. well guess what.. You have hurt me more times that you have given me smiles.. And i had  MANY reasons not to trust you!.. You would always lie to me! and don't you DARE tell me that you didn't lie to me because I caught you in so many that I couldn't even keep count!! I was so blinded by everything you were.. South American, taller, older, with great morals and traditions, with respect for others and a good heart.. or so I thought.. But a good heart doesnt do this to the person that they love.. a good heart in love doesnt ignore his significant other for three weeks while they're away on another country!!! A good heart doesnt ignore one another just because we are away.. that is when we should have been the closest! You never gave me the time of day, you never gave me importance, i was never a priority in your life.. and as much as you will deny everything I say and start talking about everything you have done for me think about this.. put everything you have done for me and then compare it to how much you hurt me.. Now take whats left, and compare that to EVERYTHING I have done for you!! It doesnt even come close!! And now i get to find out that all this time, every single day, you were thinking about someone else while being with me.. That the second you got rid of me, you went out looking for her.. for the person that you really actually cared for.. Because no person in love will ever give as much effort into talking to someone like you did with her.. You never talked me me every single day, you never wrote on my wall or expressed any sort of affection for me, you never made me feel like you cared enough to share it with anyone.. but with her, it was okay.. you can do all those things because you actually care for her.. see why i say that you never cared for me? You never went through that much trouble with me.. You never had to, because I was always there for you.. No matter what came my way you were always a priority for me.. So much that has gotten me

I am now with no heart, the ice cold hole that is left is there to remind me of the kind of suffering i have been through because of love.. I know I deserve someone better than this.. I know that I deserve someone who actually cares about me and someone who makes me a priority in their life and someone that will look at me like i am the only woman in the world and never look back at anyone surrounding him, because I'm all he needs.. One day i will get to be with a person like that.. I genuinely thought that it could be you.. But I am so DAM HAPPY that your true colors came out and I can see why you were not good for me from day one.. I always had a little gut feeling that this wouldn't last.. I had this wrenching feeling in my gut that we would never make it to our second year.. But i ignored everything because i believed in us, i FOUGHT for us, I gave everything i had for us.. but you took that for granted.. and now all that there is left is pain and a lesson well learned.. Because after this, there is no way I could every trust someone again.. Maybe in five years.. or more.. but right now, I could not see someone in the face and know that they actually care.. because I've already been fooled by someone for over a year.. I had been fooled by you!

But you know what, it is no longer my problem.. You dont want me in your life.. thats how its going to be.. I am done crying for you, i am done talking about the what if and could've should've would've...I am done feeling sorry for myself because of you.. I am stronger than this.. and every single tear will make me stronger than the last, and because its happened over a year, I can pretty much say that I am extremely strong on in the process of getting there anyway.. Sure our relationships had a bunch of good times, and times that i will remember for the rest of my life.. We spent amazing moments together.. and I wouldnt trade them for anything.. that doesnt mean that they werent limited.. Because a bigger part of our relationship was the pain.. But its over now.. and I should not care about who you talk to, you who make out with, and who is rejecting you.. You had someone who loved you and cared for you and gave you everything you asked her to, and you let that go.. its your fault.. not mine.. But i WILL NOT be there again.. But you already know that..

This sickens me... Not only am I an immigrant to this country.. I can write better than half of those people that don't even know the difference between your and you're!!.. You claim to be so "American" how can you not even type your own language! Breaks my heart to think that such a developed country still has a long way to go with racism..

During the SuperBowl, the Coca-Cola Company aired a commercial to promote their brand as every other mega corporation who has a few million dollars to blow on a 30 to 60 seconds of television airtime. It was a nice commercial titled “It’s Beautiful” in which American people did American things...

Vogaye of the Little Mermaid in Orlando!! The one place I would love to visit the most in DisneyLand Orlando!!

If someone where ever to surprise me there i think i would die and this would be my heaven.. The little mermaid was the very first Disney movie I ever saw.. I remember being a little four year old and knowing every single lyric and every single word of the whole movie.. The fact that this mermaid decided that she wanted more than what was offered for her.. She wanted to explore to go beyond her comfort zone that is the water, and be able to do something none of her kind could ever imagine doing.. For that she is strong and she is brave.. and I always wanted to be as brave as she was.. She did it all for love.. Even though she wanted to go to the human world before she even fell in love, falling in love gave her a bigger reason to go.. Gave her that motivation to do the impossible to be able to be by his side..

It actually sounds like something I would do.. I would give up anything and everything to be with the person that I am truly in love with.. I almost did for someone who just left me.. but I also want that kind of love in return.. One that doesnt care if he drowns, because he is drowing not to lose me "I lost her once, I'm not going to do it again" -Prince Erik

I love the little mermaid.. But i can never find anything that looks just like her.. Every doll or everything made by "The Little Mermaid" never does her face or expressions any justice.. I used to have a doll that looked just like her, but I have no idea where it may be.. My parents said that she is gone.. I want to find one that looks just like her.. but I can never find it.. another dream of mine, to find such a doll.. And to come to this place.. My heaven..

All the meaning that this has for me..

I have recently been dumped almost two weeks ago and im still crying about it every single day.. It hurts me so much.. I was with this guy for a year and four months.. He literally became my whole world.. He was someone I genuanly expected to be with for the rest of my life.. If he would have said the word, I would have moved anywhere in the world just to be with him. If he would have wanted, I would have given up everything I've known just to be by his side.. But he didnt care for me enough. The fact that we didnt even date for that long and I loved him so much makes me even wonder if it was even really love.. But i do believe that it was.. Because even though i havent talked to him since he left me, I think about him in everything that I do.. I cant do anything without thinking about him or without wanting to talk to him or be around him Just thinking about him brings tears to my eyes.. He has let go of my heart.. but even then, since he had it around his finger, its dangling there.. He might not want it, but its still there.. he can play around and keep on breaking it all he wants, but that doesnt mean that he is no longer the owner of my heart.. Someday i hope to have it back.. but for now i dont even think i want it back.. Because just knowing that its with him, makes me feel better even though we are no longer together.. I dont even know if any of this made any sense.. But i had to let this out..

Is it really that hard to have a romance like this?

I want all of this, i want the kisses and the late night talks and the crazy movements everywhere. But wait, I do have that. I have all of that. I have the kisses and the inside jokes and the endless talks about nonsense. I have the random kisses and the planned kisses. I have the random dates and the random surprises that take my breath away

But something went wrong. I no longer have that. I no longer have my kisses and I no longer have my dates and romantic moments. Now i have endless moment of nagging, i have endless moments of fighting, and endless moments of crying. I dont know how i got to this point but I no longer want it to happen! I want to go back to the endless kisses and endless cuddling for hours on end not even paying attention to the television less than ten feet away. Can I please gets those nights back? I want to go back to everything when it was better. Just like this picture.

In the notebook, they fight all the time, they can barely stand each other! but their love is one that was eternal. It was pure and it was endless. Their personalities were from two different words but their attachment was one for the books. I dont need a perfect love, but I do want a real love. A love that will last a last time and a love that is not afraid to express themselves. I want to be able to kiss you without a worry. I want to be able to hug you without worrying about what you might think or what might be going through your head. Please let that come back

Let this love be just like the one above. Not without fight, but with real feelings

Feliz Fiestas Patrias a mi Lindo PERU No sabes cuanto te extraño!! me fui de tu lado hace ya once años y todavía pienso en ti cada día de mi vida! Eres el Pais que me vio nacer y el Pais que amare siempre Me da un gran orgullo poder llamarme PERUANA Saber que la comida, las costumbres, y las tradiciones son mias también como la de todos mis compatriotas Es lindo poder saber que todo lo que soy es Peruana 

Me da aun mas orgullo representar el Peru en los Estados Feliz día de la Independencia peruana.. TE AMO MI PAIS HERMOSOOOO!!!!! 

You have no idea how much I have died inside waiting for you

You have no idea how much i cried and how much I suffered every day that you were not here

You have no idea how I wished to be in your embrace every day

You have no idea how much your presence was needed around me

You have no idea how much I cared

But thats just it I "cared" and thankfully, that care is not there anymore And even though these words might not be true at the moment They will be true one day

I am sure of it 

It is incredible to me that these two people met on bad terms Learned of each other in just a couple of days And fell in love

Charlie: Listen. Listen to me very carefully. I live in London, a gorgeous, vibrant, historic city that I happen to love living in. You live in New York, which is highly overrated... But since the Atlantic Ocean is a bit wide to cross every day, swimming, boating or flying, I suggest we flip for it... And if those terms are unacceptable, leaving London will be a pleasure, as long as you're waiting for me on the other side. 'Cause the truth is, I am Madly, Deeply, Truly, Passionately in Love with You.

I mean, who says that after just a couple of days!!! It makes you wonder on all of the past "Lovers" that one has had.. which ones of them would have actually said something like this? In my opinion, none

I mean, to have so much love.. that type of love that is instantaneous and pure.. That type of love that noone can replace no matter any situation Isnt that something that everyone wants? this quote by itself is something that I do not get tired of reading, listening, or reliving Because this quote says so much in such little sentences! It says: i will do anything for you no matter where you live or no matter how our lives are at that moment. I love you enough to leave everything i know and love just because it is for you Who does that?

I hope that one day I can have a love like this one One that is honest and pure and just genuine One that I dont have to fight for, but one that will fight for me No matter what situations and no matter anything that is going on at that moment.. I wish for this type of love.. And I pray that one day I am lucky enough to find it<3

You are wonderful. So pretty. So kind. Youre not only an amazing person, but a blessing from God. Smile! I once heard a wise statement while traveling overseas. "Remember that in the most tumultuous and trying times of life when you ask this question to the lord almighty, '...god, why is all this with me?' Turn around, look into the sky and thank God! For he has at least cast his sight upon you, to select you and subject you to such a tough exam in life in which others were not found eligible."

Why must you be anon!!?!??? This is the nicest thing ever! And i thank you so much for it because it came at a time that i trully needed it!! Words cant explain how thankful i am for the kind words:) God bless you and everything you do!