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lolipopncookies · 7 years

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Nama sy Garfield(nama samara dcni) , asal dari KK. Umur sy skrg suda masuk 33. Dulu2 sy jahat/nakal, nerd, clumsy, rambut bala tengah. Kelas sains tulen tapi tidur saja dalam kelas. Rekod escape 73Hari dlm setahun(masih ada sya simpan lagi tu kertas dari sekolah,, Kertas tidak hadir). In my life, sy fail..sy tida pandai mengurat perempuan. Lucukah? Tidak. Sebab keyakinan diri sya sangat rendah. Tapi itu dulu, skrg lain.. 10Tahun sya mencari keyakinan. Mengkin takdir, mungkin keluarga.. yang menyebabkan sya tiada keyakinan. Dulu sya tidak percaya takdir, Selepas baru faham. Boleh katakan im fail in everthing.

Titt..Titt.. bunyi hon diluar.. agaknya bapa telah sampai mengambil sya pergi ke sekolah untuk ambil result spm sya.. haizzz.. malas betul mahu p ambil.. saya tahu saya fail semua.. silap2 semua 9e… Hmm, segera sya tutup radio di bilik.. radio sya masa tu main modified.. semua barangan buangan.. player cd sansui.. radio sanyo.. power amp kereta.. speaker 4inci caliber ada sebiji woofer 10inci entah apa jenama.

Masuk sya d kereta.. dlm hati sudah berkata.. matilah sya dibising bapa kalini.. bapa sya tidak pernah rotan atau pukul saya dari sya kecil.. tapi kicknya teguran atau rungutannya tu.. huiiinaaa…3hari3mlm baru stop… kick betul.. pusing2 ayat d dalam ingatan. Compom tidak akan hilang. Sampai sekarang ajaran dan rungutanya pun masih lagi berliga didalam ingatan saya.

Ssampai saja d sekolah. Gementar saya ambil keputusan sya.. sekali sya tengok… hairan juga sya… ada juga result.. ingatkan semua 9e.. ada credit jg.. ada 4 yg credit.. haiz..

Pada malamnya… saya berfikir jauh.. betul2 jauh.. pada masa itu sya baru berumur 17tahun.. fikiran melayang hingga ke 20thn pastu 30thn pastu 40thn. 50 thn dan setrusnya hingga 85thn… oic.. knp stop d 85tahun.. hahaha mngkn umur sya ni smpai 85 tahun konon.. sedih.. senyum sendiri malm itu.. banyak terlintas d dlm fikiran… result bagini mau sambungkah… mau kerjakah..

(Ops lupa sya beritahu sya tinggal dengan bapa.. mami telah meninggal masa umur sya 6tahun.. kalau mau katakan kasih sayang ibu mcm mana.. sya memang tidak tahu.. hmm tidk rasa lah…)

Fikir punya fikir.. hantam sj la.. belajar saya vokasional d cni kk dekat2.. duit pun tdk bnyk pakai.. keluarga sya pun pun bukanya ada simpanan.. cukup2 saja..

Sya p cari2.. last2 sya daftar masuk dlm satu vokasional d cni.. mau jg la 2kali naik bas p sana.. Jauh juga, tertidur2 sya dlm bas jg. Biasalah kan siapa2 yg pernah naik bas tu.. Kadang2 suara turbo pun keluar jg tu time siodop sdh..

Setahun d sana ambil lvl2. Habis saja lvl2,masa sya ambil lvl3. Pada masa inilah, sya dpt tawaran dari institute itu utk mengajar lvl2 punya batch. Berfikir jg sya masa itu.. Bolehkah sya mengajar ini.. Hmm..hantam sj la.. ada jg duit poket2 ni.. Time tu gaji baru rm300.00 saja.. Punya kecil.. Tapi demi pengalaman, sya terima saja..Ohya..Selain saya ada lagi satu kawan selvl sya.. nama LAN.. sya mengajar d kk dan Lan mengajar d pekan bxxxxxxx.. lvl2 mahu mengambil masa 8bulan utuk habiskan. disana segala berubah hidup saya.. segala yg berlaku merubah saya sehingga kini.. tamparan terhebat yg pernah saya alami…

Hari Pertama

Awal pagi lagi sudah sampai opis/institute. Ni awal betul ni, sya tengok HP baru pukul 6.30am(Hp Nokia 8250 Butterfly) haha hp lama kan.. Awal betul entah mahu buat apa, duduk sya dihall luar sambal hisap2 sigup tengok ke church sebelah sana.. Berliga2 otak sya keluar soalan.. Ek,,stop.. jgn banyak fikir.. Sya tengk pasu2 bunga disana.. hai.. good morning.. bercakap saya satu orang dengan pokok2 bunga dsana.. lalu sya ambil baldi isikan air dan siram semua pokok2 bunga.. Sudah siap dengan menyapu semua bilik2 dan opis. Susun bangku2, Lap2 meja..

Rajin betul.. tiba2 ada suara dari belakang time sya sapu2.. Remang sikit jg bulu tangan2 sya.. tengok2 si jus sampai sudah.. Si Jus ialah lecturer yang mengajar sya dari lvl2 hingga lvl3.. Duduk2 sya d dalam opis prepare2 doc untuk masuk kelas.. Ramai student masuk2 sya tengok melalui cermin d opis.. Sekali tengok ada dua sumandak masuk.. satu tinggi sikit dan satu rendah2.. wow.. sumandak mana ni.. lawa jg.. dub dub dub.. hati ada tergerak jg.. haiz.. biarla.. janganla.. Kelas bermula, disana si jus menperkenalkan sya untuk take over kelasnya.. Mata sya tidak lari dari sumandak itu.. balik2 sya perhatikan dia.. rambut panjang2 limpas bahu.. lurus betul rambut dia.belah tengah.. Putih2 kulitnya.. Kalau kamu tanya cantik kah tidak.. sori.. sya tidak dapat jawab.. Sbb sya tidak faham definisi cantik.. setiap orang ada taste dia sendiri.. mungkin bagi sya,dia lawa betul.. tpi mngkn bagi kamu dia bida.. So..I have my own taste, u have ur own rhythm. K…

Sepanjang hari saya ternyia2 sumandak tadi dalam fikiran saya.. Haiz, siu2 lari2.. knp la sya ni.. hati bemcm2 sdh.. otak lagi lari2 tajuk sdh..Sya jatuh hati kah dengan dia. Inikah pula perasaan jatuh hati ni… ini perasaan care yg amat2 terhadap orang.. perasaan ingin lindungi dia.. ingin dia bahagia.. ingin dia gembira dan segala2.. Sot sudah, baru satu hari.. sampai terbawa2 dlm mimpi.. Mimpi itu sya ingat sekali, jelas hingga kini walaupun 13tahun dah lalu.. Sya mimpi pada masa itu, kamsaya jln2 d CP(mcm CP dlm mimpi tu) ternampk Ling. (sori sya namakan sumandak itu Ling K).

Lalu dalam hati sangat berdekat dengan dia, tapi sya tidak.. sya rasa diri sya tidak sesuai.. segala tidak sesuai (Tdk hensom/miskin/rumah buruk) keyakinan diri tiada langsung. Dalam mimpi tu,, sya tidak panggil dia, sya pusing dan saya jalan terus.. Tiba2 si ling panggil2 sya.. Sya pusing dan cakap sya pergi ni, take care k, sya tiada apa2, sya tidk dapat buat kau gembiri,, sya tengok, dia mengalir2 airmata sudh.. tapi sya jalan terus.. sakit jg hati terasa walaupun dlm mimpi.. Time sya jalan sempat sya cakap.. biarlah sya pergi mencari diri, suatu hari sya akan kembali.. kalau kaulah takdir sya…

Sya bangun tidur,, sebak dihati masih lagi terasa..

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lolipopncookies · 7 years

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Here a story 6 years ago. I don’t know should I call love or true friends, a man or and angel. Should I begin with introduce myself first or introduce him. Hmm.. Ok let begin with me, biar u all questioning.. hahaha..

Hi my name is Christie Christ Chin. I’m Living in kota kinabalu, a state that full of culture and race. I’m 17 years old now. Living with my mom. I don’t have any brother and sister. I love candy especially lollipop. Here is my first feeling stories about a guy i named him cookies.

(Hmmmm??????? Bluring.. where to start ah???… But I clearly remember all start in a morning..

Christie.. Christieee wake up.. time go to school.. Hmm.. Good Morning mommy..(In yawing) Huhhhh.. Another boring days I need go through.. Ahhh…boring.. then i hold my two hand and i pray.. “Good morning Jesus, today Christie pray again… As Jesus know, Christie feel empty.. Please granted Christie a friend a true friend k.. where Christie can share,can count on just like u Jesus. I love u Jesus..ops..oh-ya.. A friend that not like i meet at school k.. I love u Jesus and mmm Amen”.

Hmm…ok..be strong go through another day..

I prepared my self like usually and my mom sent me to school.

(Like usually in school,, Boring.. Yaww..fast…fast..fast.. I look at my watch.. Ringgg… yes time to go home.. i quickly close my book stuff in my bag and go home.. The end of crazy Friday.. yay..

Moment i walk to the school gate.. like usually their always somebody greeting.. Bye Christie.. by liang moi.. No please.. and i also heard someone said… so egoist.. scum..

I dint reply any of them i just want to quickly go home.. after the school gate.. i saw mom car.. i ran to it and enter the car.. “just like a little girl ran to grab a lollipop”.

Christie : Hi mommy.. can mommy let me play lappy today.. only a while.. plss…

Mom : Hmm.. yes..but after u have your lunch and bath.. don forget doing your homework first… only a while..

Yesss. Thanks. I love you mommy..

Arrived home.. i quickly finished my lunch and take a bath.. done all my homework.. really cant wait to play lappy.. I really seldom play my lappy.. mommy only let me play it sometime.. i thinks mommy in good mood today.. hmm but why? Whatever..as long as i can play lappy. Quickly i enter mommy room and grabs my pinky sony lappy.. I place it on my table.. switch it on.. and i open my Facebook.

Hmm.. only a few notifications i saw.. I click on it and open one by one.. Happy birthday god bless u Christie.. The rest also same.. till I saw a unique greeting from a person..

“From a billion star in the sky.. from a million user in the Facebook.. knowing u at here i called it friendship.. Happy birthday Christie.. Cheers Up Always”.

I got a weird feeling reading this message.. feeling like he knowing me.. cheering me up..

I click on the profile.. huh.. Name cookies monster.. profile picture is a cookies monster.. what? Who this nerd? A blue monster..

I saw cookies monster online.. i click on it and start a conversations.. i feel weird.. i wanna know him.. wanna talk with him.. more..

Me : Hi. R u like cookies so much? CM : hahaha…Yup.. Cookies are nice.. Don you? ME : Ya.. but Christie more love lollipop then cookies.. why u dint put your own picture and name? CM : It is matter.. Should we judge a friend by their picture and name.. If yes..it mean friendship got term and conditions rite..

Such a weird person.. hmm.. i feel warm from every word i read from this person..

Me : What r u doing right now? CM : Nothing.Playing mafia-war.. Doing a trade. and u? Me : Nothing.. Just chat with u.

There is in silent.. i waiting a reply from him..

Me : Cookies Monster… I’m so boring.. CM : Today your birthday.. Din u go out with friend to celebrate.. ME : No.. celebrate with mommy only. Christie don’t have any friend.. CM : Hm.. ok.. No worry.. im your friend at here now.. If u don’t mind friend with cookies monster? U know, I will steal all your cookies.. better u hide it… ME : Hahaha.. Christie don’t mind.. And u can have all the cookies in my home if u know where Christie live. CM : I can smell cookies.. Why u always mention your name in chat instead of using i or me.. ME : It like icon.. So everyone will remember me.. It is rhythm… same like u using the cookies monster name and picture… CM : Great.. I see few pictures of you.. U really enjoying your life.

CM : But…

(CM typing….)

ME : But what?

CM : Hmmm….. All picture got a very nice warm smile..

But.. I see something not rite.. R u really happy?

ME : Huh.. If smiley said Happy.. Do u believe it?

CM : No.. I don’t..

ME : How u know im not in happy lea?

CM : Hmm.. Secret.. Maybe..

ME : Ehh.. Secret and maybe? Mean not a secret la.. Tell smiley how u know?

CM : Hmm.. One day will let u know.. haha

ME : ish.. haha but u don’t know what the thing that smiley sad lea kan?

CM : If I figure it out.. Got reward?

ME : yup.. lollipop..

CM : Ok.. Keep it for me…

ME : Y keep it.. U dint tell me the answer yet…

CM : Oneday..

ME : Hmm..When?

CM : Coming soon…

ME : ok.. smiley will wait..

Who this person.. Seem knowing me a lot.. I slowly open my room door a bit.. Sneak peak my mom.. Nope not mommy.. I thought i was my mom pretending as a cookies monster. OVER THINKING.

CM : U like smiley icon so much ya…

ME : hahaha…. rite.. I like the smiley icon too.. ME : Can SMILEY be Cookies Monster friends? CM : That no need to ask.. We are friends.. There is no term or condition in. Me : Really…? CM : Cross My Heart.. ME : t.. ok already mark a cross. One day i will make a cookies for you.. CM : I will appreciate every single cookies u make for me..

Hmm.. This r monster.. Not like others.. How to say.. Other guy like to say something sweet2. Such like “u so pretty” u so nice” I wanna be ur BF” wanna be my GF” can have ur no’’.. HMMM>.. maybe this blue monster also same,,, maybe this blue monster waiting for a right moment.. err.. scary blue monster.. why u not a doraemon.. also blue but nice…

ME : Can i ask u something? CM : Yes.. Sure u can? ME : How old r u? Where u school? How many brother and sister u have? CM : Wow.. suddenly so many questions.. Im 25years.. I m working at Chemical Laboratory.. I dint have any brother and sister.(Bit complicated to tell u). Anywhere i’m living with my father now and my mom pass-away when im 6 years old.

So pity guy..

ME : :( Sorry.. Feeling sorry for your mommy.. What your activity in kid? Smiley also dont have any brother and sister.. We are same.. CM : Haha.. when i small ah.. I normally destroy a thing.. All electronic stuff i dissemble it and do research.. I destroy, create even play with fire.. shocked by electric.. But most of the time i read comic..Doraemon.. My favorite comics.

ME : Doraemon? I heard it before but never read it.. I thought u like sesame street.. hahaha.. but anyway.. doraemon and cookies monster also in blue.. CM : hm.. yes.. but im not in blue.. hahaha…

I open another browser and click in to youtube and search doraemon.. I saw a title.. Doraemon nobita’s a night before wedding. I click on it.. It a short story.. Around 15 to 20minute story.. I cried watching the stories.. It regarding nobita and doraemon so curious on the nobita wedding days.. Their travel back to future on the of nobita wedding.. But Doraemon and nobita make a mistake and entered a days before his wedding.. Anyhow, their go to see nobita how prepared his wedding.. On the night, shizuka wanna make a decision to cancel the wedding due she feel that her parent will lonely after she married.. But her parents told shizuka.. You already left we a very splendid gift. Priceless. The first gift is your birth. It was early in the morning. When i first time saw you, you was weeping like and angel. I’ve never hear such a wonderful music. When i go out the hospital, sky on the east just begins to became whiter but above the head sky was full of stars. under this wonderful amount of universe dust. I’ve been able to inherit my life in treasure that just are born. It was such wonderful that i couldn’t keep my tears and everyday afterward it was wonderful that you have give me. Some people have ability make you happy with some others u can feel uncomfortable. It is the most important thing in people relationship. I believe nobita certainly can make you happy. Here my eye start tearing.. Suddenly my room door been knocked.. Knock…knock.. Christie…

Huh.. papa voice.. it is pappa.. I ran to the door, open it.. I saw papa in front the door.. Papa..

Papa: Why u crying.. Such silly.. And papa weep my tears by her finger.. Papa : Prepare your self, we going having a dinner together to celebrate your birthday.. Thank papa.. Ops.. Cookies monster are still online.. i click on my facebook and saw the blue dot.. Yeas he are online now.. ME : Can smiley have ur no? i need off now. My pappa bring us to dinner.. CM : 013 8878xxx don’t hesitate to call me when u got a trouble. Enjoy your meal.. Gr8 day to you. ME : Thank you..

What im doing.. I ask a no.. what??? After write down the no.. smiley off the lappy.. Preparing my self to go out.. Oh.. pappa coming back today that why mom so happy.. Im happy too.. Smiley only can with papa few time a years.. Tonight go out to eat.. Normally we eat at home.. Maybe because christie allergic with some of the food..

There around 7pm, Christie, papa and mommy going to the restaurant at sutera Habour. We having a western food.. Im enjoying the meal.. I saw mommy happy face and smile.. Just like smiley smile.. Today is my most happiest day.. Mommy,papa and me.. and my only monster blue friends… Christie hope one days we all four can having a dinner together.. Thanks jesus.. I love u jesus…

I heard papa said to mommy. That after i get my SPM result.. Papa will migrate us to taiwan.. I’m happy, My wish come true. I hate people at here. I hate the way their think, The way their judge, The way their act, The way their….. But…. Suddenly my heart feel weak.. feel sad… feel a piece of my heart left over here.. ( There a pianist at the stage played a song Love not easy from huang xiao hu ).

My blue monster.. if i go.. i won’t able to find him.. I not even know his name.. his person.. suddenly i wanna call him.. to tell him that i not longer at here..

After finish our dinner we get a desert.. But my heart still feel sad.. I mean in moody..

At the night, Laying in my bed.. Hugging my smiley doll.. My heart still feel moody.. feel weak.. My mind lingered all cookies word.. lingered cookies blue monster face with a greedy cookies in a mouth.. Till i fallen in sleep.. On that night smiley have a dream, smiley dream making a cookies for the blue monster..

Hm.. a sunrise shine over my room windows.. Haizz.. i forget to close the curtain.. The sky look so blue today.. Blue monster.. smiley wondering cookie monster already wake up or still in sleep.. Hmm… haizz.. lazy saturday.. I look at the clock and showed 9.30am.. I wake up and wear my bunny slippers.. having a bath.. i saw mommy and papa at kitchen preparing something.. So sweet.. just like lollipop…yum yum….

Smiley switched on lappy.. but smiley dint saw the blue monster online..

Haizzz.. ni zai na ni ah wo de blue monster.. I switched off and having a breakfast with papa and mommy.. My papa play role in praying.. But my heart prayed.. ‘’Good Morning cookies monster.. Hope u enjoyed ur breakfast today and have a nice day”.

Papa.. can i join our school intellect camping on next weeken? Pls daddy.. i really wanna join them.. After a few dicussion with mommy.. My parent let me join the camping.. Yes… i can stay a night out site.. i never been alone outsite.. wanna feel what it could be… After breakfast… we go out having a trip to few places.. But my heart still wondering what the blue monster doing now.. maybe he eating cookies right now.. huh..

10 days passed.. It a day me at school interact camping.. Here is the night, a nite I saw a real monster…

A night where a heavy raining and thunder storm. I starving, cold and scare. Mommy I regard. Im so regard came to this camping. I should listen to you mommy. Should I call mommy. No mommy will nag me. Huh what kind of camping is this. All canned food. Im allergic with it. SOMEONE help me.. No I don’t any friend. Im so alone, I hatted in my class.. nope in school.. I only got mommy at here.. Then I realize that 1 weeks ago, I knew someone.. someone quit different or can called it weird maybe. He not like other person I speak with. Should I call him. I looked at my watch, yay it already eleven eleven. I looked at my contact list in my phone. Well, so poor. Mommy, daddy and Cookies monster. Only three contact list showed. Yes. My heart signal my brain “go..go..go.. call him’’.

Sitting alone in the camp and I decided to call..

CM : Tuttt…Tutt… Hello… (In sleepy sound)

ME : Heloo.. are u cookies monster? (Sound so low and shy)

CM : Yea..Who are u calling me in the midnight here? (With curious tone and a

heavy raining background sound)

ME : Hi.. I’m Christie.. I know you from FB and we chat few week ago. Do u

remember me?

CM : Huh.. Yea.. christie.. Why are u calling me in the middle of night? Are u

alright?

ME : Nope.Im hungry.. can u buy me some food?

CM : Yea..sure.. But where r u now? R u alone? ( with yawning )

ME : I at Sabah XXX and XXXXXX side. We having school camping at here and I

Didn’t take any meal just some junk food. Im hungry and having a gastric now.

CM : Wait me at there. Coming right now.

He mean it or just fallen back in to a sleep. Huh.. well, who got to believe. He may think this is a prank call. He not even know me and we just chat a few time in FB. OH.. my stomach so hurt. Please.. God please save me.. The gastric getting worst.. (With a some drop tear in my eye company with a sound of rain and thunder. My heart feel so alone.. Why God? Why God? Why? Why so many people hate me? Why I don’t have a friends? What purpose u doing me like this? The thunder sound heaver and heaver. Sound like God speak to me. Sound like God answered me in angry mode.. Suddenly… My phone ringtone kill my complaint..

CM : Im nearby.. Ni zhai lai ik bian?

(im stunned, it’s true or im dreaming.)

ME : Christie don’t know where.. Can’t remember how to here..

CM : Wait me… Call u back k..

Few minute after my phone ring again..

CM : I saw a lot of camp just not far from my car.. But I cant drive to there.. Do saw my car lamp?

Me : Wait.. Hm.. ya.. wo kan tau lek…

I hang up the phone.. Then I ran to there.. Oh gosh.. On that time, what im thinking.. I not even think about danger.. I may rape or killed that night.

The rain get heavy and heavy.. Followed with a thunder and strong wind.. I really din feel cold.. I just want to fast go away.. Near the car, The car was red and I cant clearly see inside the car… I ran to the passenger side open the door and jump inside.. I weep my hair and face.. covered with rain.. Im not even looked at CM,, then I hear a voice..

CM : Wo weiyi ni you yi san. (I thought u gat umbrella)

Wei se me nibu jiang? (Why u dint tell me?)

Im stunned a while.. I slowly get up my head and turn to him.. and I saw.. a towel. He put at my head a wipe a bit.. and I wipe my hair.. I still donno how he look like… My heart pounding.. pounding and pounding… and now I slowly have a sneak peak.. Huh.. Not in blue color.. He sure not an alien… He just an ordinary person…. I stunned look at her.. Not a blink of eye..

CM : Sory.. did I bit look like monster?

Then he hand me a tapau.. I open the tapau,hm.. smell good.. Fried rice.. But I dint saw a spoon..

ME : You mei you chi keeng? ( Do u have a spoon?)

CM : Ops.. Wang zin na.. (Forget to request/take)

Then he took the tapau, tear a side of the tapau and hand it to me…

ME : haha.. ziang tu kei yi (Like this also can a)

He just give me a little smile. He take another tapau.. it’s a drinks.. I open it a pt the straw and gave it to me.. He tapau me a milo PING.. PING in the cold night.. hmm.. But I drink it also..

ME : Hau reng oh… Ni yau chek ma.. (Im so cold, do u wanna to eat to)

CM : Ni chek la.. (U eat la)

Then he grab something behind the sit.. Take my tapau put at the dashboard.. And cover me with his sweater.. So sweet.. This monster are sweet.. So I just wear it and continue to eat.. It so silent between us two.. and a song played in his car player.. (mei na me zian dan)After I finish eating.. I request he to sent me back home.. But he denied.. and give me a motivation word.. Ohya and a motivational story I think.. I remember the story in doraemon regarding nobita and dinosaur, Nobita dint give up to pet the dinosaur..

I looked at the monster without a blink, listen all the story.. Sound he like a uncle rite.. sepanjang dia ceritiakan, he dint look at me… He look at the front.. Hmm.. I look at his left face… a face look like a angry face.. like cookies monster.. Ok keep it short.. After ll. He grab a umbrella from behind and hand it to me.. He said take care always.. Our friendship more than tonight.. Im bit blur all the word he said.. I went back to the camp, all nite I sleep covered with cookies monster sweater.. Warm nite.. 2moro morning I get fever, when to the klinik and I stopped the interact camping.. Having a rest at home.. Im dreaming the night in the car.. Such a nice person..

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