there's something so compelling to me about the fact that sometimes leaving a blade or bullet inside the wound it made is the only way to prevent you from bleeding to death. something about the ironic symbolism of it. when the thing designed and intended to kill you is the only thing keeping you alive.

My favorite rejected New Yorker submission

“If I were human, I believe my response would be, ‘sashay away.’”

Your 20s are for looking back to your childhood and thinking "huh, that sure was fucked up, they shouldn't have done that to me."

Your 30s are for looking back to your 20s and thinking "huh, that sure was fucked up, I shouldn't have done that to myself."

i love having hairy legs it’s like i just get cooler and sexier by doing nothing

macklemore really just said walk into the club like what up I got a big cock and we just accepted that. what was going on in 2012

im so sad that spotify took away the little heart when you add songs to ur liked songs and replaced it with a little plus. isn’t there enough pain

i’m reeling over this ad to where i can’t even think of anything funny to say about it

granny smith taught her everything she knows

my favorite thing that happens in TOS is when they encounter some weird shit and then sulu turns around to us/kirk to make sure we’re all seeing the same thing. anyways my favorite example of this is when they encounter abraham fucking lincoln.

HOLD THE LINE!! KEEP PUSHING!!!!!

my favourite ship dynamic is “me and the bad bitch i pulled by being autistic” but you can’t tell which is which

Bird

Paint_Mondrian_XP_3.BMP

*setting an alarm for 9am in the middle of the day* fuck dude i have to be up in 17 hours

TERU