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lmvrj23 · 5 years
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bye.
I guess this is goodbye.I don’t know how many of you guys will see this or care, but it was a terrible ride while it lasted. I think this is going to be my last post for a while or maybe forever. I just thought it was rude not to say bye.
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lmvrj23 · 5 years
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If kinetic energy can be converted to thermal energy, how hard do I need to slap a chicken to cook it?
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lmvrj23 · 5 years
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samuel l jackson rlly just called marvel fans uncultured SKLDLLDLDKDKDD
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lmvrj23 · 5 years
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😂😂
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lmvrj23 · 5 years
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Does anyone remember a post circulating back in April about an LGBTQ bookstore in Ann Arbor? They posted a status on Facebook about how they didn’t have any books sales that day?
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The post circulated tumblr for a couple of days and their Facebook page was swarmed with likes and support, suddenly they had more online orders than they ever had before. They announced that had roughly 700 online orders with only a staff of three people and a dog to fill them, and even with the deluge of orders they would still be struggling to stay open.
Unfortunately, that’s how the story is winding up for them. They recently announced that they would be closing and I thought it’d be nice to send them off with one last hoorah!
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If you have the available funds, then maybe consider helping them out. Here’s a link to their website. It may not be a great start to the New Year, but it may make it easier for them,
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lmvrj23 · 5 years
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lmvrj23 · 5 years
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When you have to hold down the power button to turn off a device
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lmvrj23 · 5 years
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lmvrj23 · 5 years
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you know what i’ve never seen. one of those really big trees. like the massive ones in california. i feel like if i saw one i’d start crying immediately
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lmvrj23 · 5 years
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had the thought “kids used to brag about never breaking a bone and now they brag about never cracking the screen of their phone” but then my anti-banksy collar shocked me and now I’m in the hospital
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lmvrj23 · 5 years
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lmvrj23 · 5 years
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Today on “Hozier Liked”
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lmvrj23 · 5 years
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samuel l jackson rlly just called marvel fans uncultured SKLDLLDLDKDKDD
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lmvrj23 · 5 years
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Spot the difference.
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lmvrj23 · 5 years
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me: why are you destroying earth!!!
aliens: because theres people who think that english is the only language they need to speak
me: thats fair i understand
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lmvrj23 · 5 years
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Reasons I believe my friend is secretly some kind of deity
1) First time we spoke was a week after the beggining of freshman year she summed up my entire character and most of the events of my life Sherlock style. I asked her how the hell she knew all that. She just shrugged and said she figured out our entire class already.
2) The one time we had religion class instead of ethics she listened to the teacher for a few minutes, laughed and told me:
“Humans have wished to be gods so much they’ve forgotten they have to ability to create them. Imagination has truly suffered from this ‘monotheism’ stuff.”
I was confused and asked her if she was an atheist. She rolled her eyes and said:
“Oh I believe in god alright. I just don’t think the bastard deserves to be worshipped.”
3) Out of nowhere she gave me this advice:
“The only truth a liar ever told was that lies weren’t going to save you. Don’t become the liar who has to pass that wisdom on, because they speak from experience.”
4) To this day, she has one of those old-timey phones with buttons she only uses to ocassionally call someone. When I asked her why she never got a smartphone she got pouty:
“I hate social media. On Facebook they talk a lot but never say anything. If I wanted to listen to people moan about their problems and ask for help they don’t expect I’d listen to their prayers.” (Notice the choice of words)
5) I noticed she was stiff and I offered her a massage since I’m really good at it but when i started kneading her back I swear to this day those were not muscles I felt. I asked her what she did to turn her muscles into rocks covered with a thin layer of skin and she kinda froze then shrugged and said she was just really, really stiff. My hands hurt after ten minutes when I can usually go for an hour. Next time I offered she seemed surprised and laughed. She still has rocks for muscles.
6) We were having a debate over the way neural pathways are formed (I study biology and she forensics) and I jokingly asked if I could have her brain for study when she dies. She laughed.
“Sure, if you find a way to kill me you can have it. I’m actually curious what you’re gonna find.”
7) One time she was tired and miserable and I tried to comfort her. We both have really dark sense of humor so I told her she could scare the dead out of their graves with that glare. She told me the dead can’t come back and I rolled my eyes and said ‘obviously’ but she continued:
“When you die you descend to the underworld with nothing to lose. To keep you, they give you something to lose. When you want to return, they will demand it back. That’s why nobody ever leaves. The only way out is to never enter.”
8) One day she just came up to me with a disappointed look on her face. When I asked her what was wrong she was quiet for a few seconds and then just told me:
“Betrayals committed in good intentions are still damning. Just… keep that in mind.” Then she left and didn’t speak to me for three days. I still don’t know what she meant but even three years later I haven’t forgotten it.
9) We were casually sitting on a bench when, out of nowhere, she asked me: “Is it just me or have humans gotten dumber? Or have they always been this stupid and I just haven’t been paying attention?”
10) She asked me if I ever wondered what it was like to die. I said no but told her I would tell her when I found out. I meant it as a ghost joke but she smiled at me and said:
“Great. I’ll wait for you to come back. Maybe you’ll even remember me.”
In conclusion, she is some kind of low-key god and she lost her faith in humanity even before we lost our faith in her but she’s stuck with us because immortality is a bitch.
P.S. I just remembered her name is a variation on ‘Eve’. Maybe I should reconsider my atheist status?!
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lmvrj23 · 5 years
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studying a dead language is translating for 3 hours and then leaving your room with the intention of getting food but finding yourself standing in front of a window clutching a spoon for 20 mins instead
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