The Love Bombing Phase

After the first infidelity incident things did a 360 and everything was a dream. I was receiving gifts, dates, messages about how great we were together- How could I be so lucky? I FINALLY found a good one. 

I was introduced to his family, who welcomed me in immediately. It was expressed how happy everyone was, they reciprocated that we were so good together. Weekend nights were spent at his brothers, I felt like I had finally found my place. 

This man was helping me around the house, bringing over food, he signed up for my local gym and started working out with me. I felt we were the power couple. 

Everyone could see I was glowing, I was in love!

The Beginning

In January of 2018 I decided to sign up for a dating site. I had been single for awhile and living in a resort town, you either live at the bars or you struggle with meeting close companions. I felt this was a fairly safe way to “get back out there”.

I dated off and on, no real chemistry, but kept my focus on my hobbies and figured when its time to meet the right person, it will happen. And it did.

I started receiving messages from a man stating he was moving to the area in a few weeks to be closer to family. Those messages became more frequent and then progressed to texts. This man explained being in a city with no one close and wanting to start over- I get it, Ive been there and done the same myself. He explained about a failed marriage.. “things just didnt work out” and how they had tried to have kids for years but he felt there was something medically wrong with him. My heart understood. I felt a “connection”

A few weeks went by and he finally arrived in town. We met the very next day- things seemed to have an instant connection- I started to feel hopeful. Daily texts and dates resumed, things seemed to be going great. I began telling my friends about him, bragging about this great guy and then the first, what should of been red flag” arrived.

“Hey, are you still seeing X?”  ...... “Hes on POF showing active right now” I insisted maybe he just didn't deactivate yet- could be a fluke. “Well, Im going to message him and see if he reads it” --- Within five minutes “He said hes actively looking and has had no interests so far here at the beach” 

That should of been the “run for the hills” moment, but I felt like there was something wrong with me- what did I miss? Was I a complete moron? 

I reached out and questioned him, the excuses poured out of him- begging for another chance. I told him that was the end of it and I was going to continue dating elsewhere. The messages continued “I feel sick to my stomach knowing you’re out with someone else” “If you so much as kiss another man, Im never going to speak to you again”  Okay, so this guy is genuinely interested and just made a mistake. 

Emotional Abuse 101

Emotional abuse- something that isn't spoken about very often. In fact, most people do not even realize it is happening. I sure didn't. I felt like there was something wrong with me, I was always the problem, I had issues-- but that is what I was groomed to believe.

It wasn't until my daughter and I were discarded and the threats started coming in and my gut was telling that something wasn't right. That’s when the research began.