Ok, but another reason the first “fine things” scene is so good is that Ed goes from “oh God, he’s seducing me” to “oh GOD, he doesn’t know he’s seducing me” in less than a minute.

First, because it’s funny that Stede has incredible game and doesn’t know it, but second, because how often do we think men have pulled a line on Ed? And now there’s this guy who looks like he’s pulling a line and is really being so incredibly sincere to the point that he doesn’t even know Ed might want to kiss him about it.

And it hits home even more when Ed recalls it to him and shows how much he really does want to be kissed.

I do wonder if Ed finally sees that the person he is with CJ is not the person that Stede knows. So much of what’s happening in “We Gull Way Back” is Stede seeing facets of Ed that he’s never seen before. Ed’s repetition of “this is who I am” has to hurt him even more because it says that the man Ed was with Stede up to this point just wasn’t him—their friendship and connection was not really Ed (which of course isn’t what Ed even means; he thinks he’s not good enough for Stede because of something intrinsic to him). So Stede has seen elements of his childhood bullies in Ed and is being told that that’s who Ed always was.

Thinking about how Stede truly does not care that all his stuff has been destroyed, except insofar as it indicates Ed’s pain.

You ever think about how Ed almost definitely never said Stede’s name in Archie’s presence so she likely heard about him from the rest of the crew? So the impression of him being taller and more muscle-y likely came from them, not Ed?

Also props to Ed Teach for spending his time in purgatory relentlessly psychoanalyzing himself in the form of arguments with Monstrous Father 2.0, who at one point tells him that he has daddy issues.

Edward Teach inventing Freudianism as he hovers between life and death.

The way Rhys’s face goes full circle squee when Taika’s foot touches his.

my new favorite critical review of ofmd s2 is the one i just read that complained that ed had an arc about coming to realize he's not necessarily a good person but didn't do enough grappling with it

i'm not sure how you could possibly come to the conclusion that this is what his s2 arc was supposed to be about. there is no way he could have possibly come to the realization that he's not necessarily a good person in s2, because he started out already thinking he was not a good person when we met him in season 1. we knew this because he literally said the exact words "i'm not a good person."

and then he went on to say "that's why i don't have any friends," communicating that his belief that he is not a good person is connected to his belief that he is unlovable. and then in s2 he reminded us of this by repeating out loud multiple times that he believed he was unlovable, and spent the whole season gradually coming around to the belief that he can in fact be loved and have friends. that was the whole thing. i'm literally trying to think of a way this could have been made less subtle

it’s kinda fascinating how dedicated some people are to interpreting every aspect of ofmd as disturbingly as possible. “buttons is stede’s slave” “stede assaulted ed in calypso’s birthday” i’m starting to think you guys don’t know you’re watching a romcom 🤨

Man shoutout to Stede fucking Bonnet I am so proud of him. Going from having to ask his wife what being in love feels like, to writing the most earnest and saccharine love letters in bottles. Every day. “I long for you.” “Intertwined.” “We wrote our names on each other in permanent ink.” Kissing them before throwing them into the sea. Every day. He became the world’s biggest romantic dreamboat and he is exactly what Ed “I’m afraid I’m unlovable” Teach deserves. The classic Stede move of “I don’t know how to do this, but once I learn how to do it my own way, I’m going to completely reinvent what it means and it’s going to change lives for the better”

You there! Boy! Have you heard? Edward Teach called me Zaddy!

But Ed is so hopeful when he kisses Stede. His expression is so gentle and he wants to treat Stede so gently. His voice shakes when he suggests "starting over." He wants so badly to just be able to leave their old identities behind and remake themselves with each other. He completely puts himself on the line, he shows every vulnerability, he's entirely without the protection of Blackbeard or even being at sea, and he desperately wants Stede to say yes and fully expects him to say no.

It's that elation when Stede does say yes that's heartbreaking.

They’re both so much in love and it’s so sad because Stede can barely understand what he’s feeling, much less express it properly. But there’s that gorgeous, heartbreaking moment of clarity when he’s barely even opened his eyes after Ed kisses him. He knows what he’s feeling in that moment and it’s this peaceful happiness he’s probably never felt in his life.

Stede is gonna be mediocre at sex with Ed? Like that man doesn’t pay attention to the smallest detail down to Ed’s pinky nail and wells of psychological trauma? Like that man hasn’t spent months putting together strings of words that burrow straight into Ed’s soul as soon as they’re found? Like that man doesn’t have a lifetime of repressed desires just bursting to get out of him? Like that man doesn’t know exactly how Ed feels from moment to moment, has since the first time they met, and has taken a Master’s level course in The Study of Edward Teach since?

Like, good sex ain't pure mechanics. It’s being attuned to your partner's needs and desires and listening to what they like and what they don’t. There are plenty of people who have tons of sex but aren’t really good at it because they’re more concerned about their pleasure than their partner’s.

And it’s also about the partner. Ed’s not just lying there letting Stede get on with it. He’s guiding and talking and responding and giving Stede pleasure too. Not to mention encouragement, and you know that Stede Bonnet responds well to positive reinforcement.

So while he may not be 100% competent with the mechanics yet, you better believe Stede is listening to every goddamn sound Ed makes, and every goddamn reaction his body has, and making an exhaustive list of exactly How to Make Edward Teach Come So Hard That He Blacks Out And It’s Actually Kind Of Scary For A Minute that he will dictate to Lucius the next morning.

Stede’s whole thing is that what he lacks in mechanical skills he makes up for in empathetic wisdom, whimsical enthusiasm, and a wholehearted dedication to the bit. Like, you think that little man so pocked with self-esteem issues would be so goddamn smug the next morning if he didn’t KNOW he had just fixed Ed’s lower back?

I think we lean into Stede being a cringe-fail dork while sometimes ignoring that he does actually have a strong skill set that includes emotional intelligence, planning and innovation, and being in love with Ed.

Tl;dr: Stede Bonnet, Worst Pirate of the Caribbean, made Edward Teach see colors in a whole new spectrum. And that was just their first time. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

I really don't get the "lol Ed is the only one who would think being Stede's boyfriend is a bragging point" take when like...literally in the previous episode the entire Republic of Pirates was all over Stede? People were getting tattoos of his face and buying him drinks and hanging on his every word? It was a major plot point? Lots of people have stated in-universe that they think Stede is cool

THANK YOU! Also Hellkat was fucking charmed by Stede, as was Anne Bonny, and a number of Ned Low's crew, and they were definitely spreading the info that Stede Bonnet was a good dude.

Given that Ed was fascinated by Stede before he even met him, somehow I also think that a guy who first showed up at the Republic of Pirates in an incandescent white suit, selling a British naval officer as a hostage, and then proceeded to 1) insult Izzy Hands, 2) tell Blackbeard to go suck eggs in hell, and 3) break Spanish Jackie's nose jar and SURVIVE...might have gained a reputation.

I dunno. Some of the point of Stede is that he's completely unexpected and keeps succeeding. And yes, Ed is wildly in love with him, but there's a reason Ed is so in love with him. Ed is satisfied the morning after they sleep together because he's in love and he's got the man he wants, but he's also...satisfied. I'm not sure what the point is in denying that.

Taika and Rhys being Zaddies Cutie Patooties in Samba's Latest BTS

Izzy really did call the cops on the gay guys, didn’t he? Literally ratted on the queer bar.