I think that’s because it doesn’t need me anymore.

Once upon a time, there was a place called the wilderness. It was beautiful and full of life, but it was also lonely and violent and misunderstood.

YELLOWJACKETS (2021–) @lgbtqcreators CREATOR CHALLENGE: LOCATIONS

@lgbtqcreators​ creator bingo — [4/10] lgbtq characters → dani clayton from the haunting of bly manor (2020)

I should have said something sooner. Yeah, you think? I didn’t wanna hurt you…or your mom. Or your family. And then it was just what we were doing. Jesus Christ—I just…thought I was being selfish. That I could just stick it out, and eventually, I would feel how I was supposed to.

Same thing really.

another meme i won’t finish: [1/5] otps @paletmblr event xxi: pride

Sunny!

thinking of how all the yellowjackets are cursed in one way or another. not even just the obvious ones, but all of them.

shauna is cursed to remain as a haunted house forever— she’s been grieving a girl for longer than the girl herself was even alive. most of shauna’s existence was already built on guilt even pre-crash but with jackie and shauna being directly responsible for it knowing that jackie had felt so cut-off from the group and yet she let jackie storm outside and didn’t fetch her at any time during the night, it’s that much more harrowing. she’s always going to be trailed by jackie’s ghost for the rest of her days. and even when she dies, she’ll be old and weathered and broken from all she’s done and jackie will still be the 17 year old teenage girl she’s always been and will always be.

taissa is cursed with a rot she was born with that she’ll never escape— her nana saw the man with no eyes and now she does, too. it was inevitable, even as tai, stubborn as she is, denies it and pushes it off. above all else, she’s pragmatic and a realist, and to be constantly watched by something inherited from her nana doesn’t make sense. she can’t be watched by something that doesn’t exist. that doesn’t make sense. she can’t let sleepwalking interfere with her life, she didn’t plan it that way. even as the rot festers and gets worse she still continues because she still wants to maintain this sense of Normality and this idea of Success she’s had in her mind since she planned her whole life out when she was a kid. she’s ignored the mold in her lungs for so long that she doesn’t even notice until she’s choking on it.

nat is cursed with a constant, pulsating sense of brokenness— her curse may be the most grounded and realistic, and yet it’s also not. she lives in a trailer park, she inadvertently killed her father, the other girls give her shit for filling the emptiness within her with alcohol or drugs or otherwise. and yet, 25 years later, she’s the same— in and out of rehab, occasionally making sure her mom isn’t dead. would it have been the same if the crash didn’t happen? we can’t say for certain, because she already had it the worst pre-crash. you were born broken. that’s your birthright. nat can snort, shoot up, smoke, take whatever she wants. it won’t erase her past and it won’t erase what’s in her blood.

misty is cursed with the all-consuming desire to be liked and loved and yet is so batshit in her desire to for such it never comes— misty wasn’t unpopular because she was weird, but rather because she’s insane. drugging coach ben and acting as his nurse, crystal dying with her worst secret, when misty reveals what’s closest to her real self everything crumbles. because while she could’ve fit in with the weird kids at high school, she didn’t because she has something much darker within her. because ultimately, she wants control over the narrative— that’s why she’s a nurse to senior citizens in present day. but no matter how many old people or vulnerable people or whoever else she plays with, she’ll never have the control she wants, and as such she’ll never get the love she’s been begging for all her life. after all, her life is a tragedy, not a comedy.

van is cursed with being unable to die— she doesn’t want to get up, but something always brings her to anyways. there was no explanation as to how she wiggled out of the plane set ablaze, there was no explanation as to how her face was torn asunder and she was only knocked unconscious, there was no explanation as to how she was lit on a funeral pyre and then came to, bloodied and beaten but alive. she doesn’t want to fight, but it’s the only thing she knows, and death refuses to claim her. rejected by her mother, rejected by her peers, rejected by death herself, even. she will always endure being on the edge of death, feeling all the pain and mercilessness of it, and yet is forced to live through it.

lottie is cursed with the package deal of hallucinations from her mental illness and real psychic visions— she could never tell which is which, and how was she supposed to? and yet, she’s crowned the leader, the all-knowing, the prophet. but she doesn’t even know, does she? when they put all the pressure on her initially there’s the stark reminder that she’s just a deeply traumatized kid. she’s both not psychic and simply severely mentally ill and yet also psychic and not mentally ill. but the horror of it lies in the fact she’s both— there are real visions there, but she has to endure scorching tricks of the mind to get there. she can’t be one without the other, and yet she doesn’t know which is which, what’s real, what’s fake, and she never will.

when lottie said “there’s no such thing as false hope. there’s just hope” and emily dickinson said “hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops at all.”

and when nat said “the whole time, there was some darkness out there” and lottie said “i thought we left it there when we were rescued, but now i realize we brought it back with us" and emily dickinson said “one need not be a chamber to be haunted, one need not be a house.”

and when van said “there was a place called the wilderness. it was beautiful, but it was also violent and misunderstood. and it waited and waited to befriend whoever arrived” and emily dickinson said “but nature is a stranger yet: the ones that cite her most have never passed her haunted house, nor simplified her ghost.”

and when shauna said “jackie. i’ll never have another friend like you. i don’t even know where you end and i begin. i’m sorry, and i love you” and emily dickinson said “i miss my biggest heart; my own goes wandering round, and calls for susie… susie, forgive me darling, for every word i say — my heart is full of you.”

and when taissa said “i'm losing my fucking mind, and i'm terrified” and emily dickinson said “i am afraid to own a body, i am afraid to own a soul” and “and then a plank in reason, broke, and i dropped down, and down” and “but since myself, assault me, how have i peace except by subjugating consciousness?”

Emily Dickinson’s Herbarium, circa 1839-1846 (Houghton Library, Harvard)

the house. it watches every move you make

julia armfield, our wives under the sea / shirley jackson, the haunting of hill house / rainer maria rilke, rilke's book of hours / @kayleerowena, gravehouse / danez smith, quoted by saeed jones in how we fight for our lives

YELLOWJACKETS 2x05 “Two Truths and a Lie”

what do u mean i can’t get a PhD for my thesis on analyzing the development and parallelism of “richard gansey iii had forgotten how many times he had been told he was destined for greatness” to “glendower was dead. he’d always been dead. and gansey kind of wanted to live” to “wanting to live, but accepting death to save others: that was courage. that was to be gansey’s greatness” ????

A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN Trading Cards (in sp)

Being ADAM PARRISH was a complicated thing, a wonder of muscles and organs, synapses and nerves. He was a miracle of moving parts, a study in survival. The most important thing to Adam Parrish, though, had always been free will, the ability to be his own master. This was the important thing. It had always been the important thing. This was what it was to be Adam.

↳ HAPPY BIRTHDAY @julesblackthorns

jess mccready + her ongoing war on lupe's personal space

bonus:

sometimes all a girl wants is to sing the lakes by taylor swift and go to the lakes where all the poets went to die but she can’t hit the low notes

color meme: pride & prejudice + rain forest (rich greens & cold tones) ★ requested by @agentsoftie