I fucking can't right now guys-

Look at this smug teleportin' little shit and his dumb :3 face

💀💀💀💀💀

lesbian orc bars would be crazy

“I would buy a mansion” “I would buy designer” “I’m getting a pool” Don’t give me that lame ass if I won the lottery shit. You’re all pathetic. If I came into a significant amount of money, you know what I’d do? I’d go to the Ren Faire, B-line straight to the cloaks. I’m talking floor length, heavy, wool, felted details, huge hooded cloaks that are like 450 a piece and all handmade and I’d get me one. Maybe even get one of the smaller ones that hangs off the shoulders and lands just above the elbow that are 90 by themselves. And I’d be the baddest bitch around because I’d wear that shit everywhere. It’s 115 degrees? I’m sorry do I look like I give a fuck? I have a cloak bitch I don’t need your fahrenheit bullshit. And you’re a FOOL if you wouldn’t do the same.

I think one of the starkest illustrations of how incoherent Hasbro's goals for Dungeons & Dragons are is that they made the writers take out all the direct references to dragon-fucking in 5E in a bid to render the IP more advertiser-friendly, but still insisted upon keeping a bunch of stuff whose narrative context strongly implies dragon-fucking front and centre in the brand identity, so now the Player's Handbook has gotta play coy about where dragon-blooded sorcerers come from.

sucks that if you show someone your cool new bruise they usually say something like "yeowch!" or "oh no how did you get that?" instead of ooh so pretty i like the shape & colors

system of a clown. if you even care

My friend explained the spoon theory to our DM and he was like “ohhh so it’s like when you’re out of spell slots and you need to take a long rest to regain them all” and now I keep thinking of myself as being out of spell slots instead of out of spoons

the inflection is exactly the same. I have been thinking about this for an hour. was this on purpose or is this just how people are naturally compelled to say these words in this order (via @biderverse on X/Twitter)

i'll let ya get back to work.

u know how it is

Fandom feels like this rn