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liljaspie · 4 years

Text

A young raven haired woman stood at the register of a cafe. "Green tea latte."

The building was old and outwardly looked decrepit and ancient, as if it hadn't been in use in years. The inside of the building however looked the exact opposite, cozy lighting with walls lined with booths that were hidden away behind rows of bookshelves. The perfect place to study, no one came here, and the few who did weren't the type to ask questions. A small smile graced the woman's lips, she was finally home. Back in the comfort of the warm coffee and comfortable seats, not to mention the familiar smell of old and new books.

In an instant the warmth faded and was replaced with a cold hard metal that pressed into the woman's shoulder. The only smell was the thick scent of her own blood, and her ears rang, aching almost as much as the fire burned in her shoulder. Absentmindedly the woman rubbed her shoulder, her pale fingers ghosted over the scarred tissue. Her eyes had started to water when a voice suddenly shook her from the memory.

“Can I get a caramel mocchiato with a blueberry scone?” That was new. There was someone else? Even the barista looked shocked.

‘It’s a public cafe of course there are other customers.’ She said to herself as she made her way to her usual seat. It was a booth in the back corner of the cafe hidden away behind the bookshelves. The table had a cozy feeling to it, along with outlets. A small smile tugged at the woman's lips once again as she sat down and took her laptop out of her bag. It wasn’t long after that the barista set the woman's drink on the table like she did every morning. A small sip from the drink started the long trial and error of doing all of the homework she needed to catch up on.

Her studying was unfortunately cut short. “Hey, is this seat taken?” It had felt like only a few seconds had gone by, in reality it had been closer to fifteen minutes.

“Yes. Fuck off-” She spoke before looking up from her laptops screen. As her eyes finally met the strangers a quiet, “fuck,” escaped her lips. The stranger was easily six feet tall and was a walking sex god with abs you could see through her shirt, not to mention the heterochromic eyes that were locked onto her own. “Shit, fuck wait-” The woman stumbled over her words. “The seats open.” Despite her antisocial disposition she had to be friendlier if she wanted to move any product.

The stranger smirked and sat down across from the woman. She dropped her bag into the seat beside her. “Cool. You’re Sage right?”

“Fuck you people are desperate,” Sage had mumbled under her breath before meeting the strangers eyes again. This time however she saw the jock in a different light, one that demolished her respect for the goddess. “Yeah, what are you after?”

“I uh..” Now the stranger was suddenly much less confident. “I-I was- Do-do you-” The woman's hand went to the back of her neck, she wasn’t sure what to do with her hands. It was strange seeing such a seemingly strong person shake with anxiety.

“Come on beefcake. Coke,weed, heroin? I need to get these papers done.” The shorter of the two spoke in the same cruel voice as before when she listed them off. She sounded annoyed when in truth she thought it was funny that she didn’t sell heroin.

“Juko.”

The dealers eyes widened. “Oh. You’re a beta.”

“Yes.. how much?” The mix of embarrassment and desperation in the strangers' eyes burned a pit in Sage's stomach.

“Twenty bucks,”

“No how much do you have?” That was all it took for the woman to suddenly feel very small, and very much in danger. She immediately started packing her stuff back into her bag.

“Come on.” When the stranger didn’t move she spoke again; “I don’t have it on me.”

Her eyes widened slightly “O-oh right.”

The two left the cafe not long after. Sage had her latte in her hand and the stranger followed as they made their way across the campus back to the shorter of the two’s apartment. “Hey Young!” A familiar head of orange hair showed through the writhing mass of the main hall. “It’s Sid!” Sage and the stranger stopped infront of a person a hair taller than Sage. “Nickel?”

“Hey Casey, no. Dime.”

“Tradesies?”

“What you got?”

“Quarter Kaman and Grey,”

“Half a dime for your Grey,”

“Thanks. Spot me in the mess?”

“Never.”

The two smiled and snapped their fingers together in a short handshake. As Sage walked away she held up a baggy that wasn’t there before. The stranger squinted at it and looked back at Casey to see they too had a baggy. ‘She lives up to her name..’ A fading thought as they grew closer to the apartments.

The rest of the walk was uneventful, a few greetings here and there but most people were already in class or still asleep.

“Thirteen, you up?” Sage called knocking on the door. She only knocked because it was locked, that usually meant the other didn’t want to be bothered. Though it seemed the jock had time for the dealer as the lock sounded and the door opened.

A raspy voice spoke from the dark of the open door. “Babe?”

“Go back to sleep T,” Sage almost sounded affectionate, softer than she’d been at all before.

“Who’s ‘at?”

“Beta.”

“Why’d you bring her here?”

“Big money, empty pockets.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, let us in.” At that the person who seemed to be named Thirteen stepped aside and walked back into the apartment. Sage followed them and the stranger followed her. It wasn’t until they made it to a back room that a light was flicked on and the stranger realized that Thirteen wasn’t wearing much of anything, and there were two men passed out on the couch.

“Yeah, let us in.” At that the person who seemed to be named Thirteen stepped aside. Their back disappeared into the darkness of the apartment. Sage followed them and the stranger followed her. It wasn’t until they made it to a back room that a light was flicked on and the stranger realized that Thirteen wasn’t wearing a light shirt, they weren’t wearing much of anything.

As the stranger realized this the mostly nude Thirteen spoke up grinning lopsidedly at the tense woman. “Take a seat, it'll take a minute.” As they said this Smith snickered, the small woman had sat at a desk. A pair of some kind of goggles were on the woman's face as she stared down at a fine powder.

“Don’t bed the druggie T.” As she spoke her hands moved, mixing and moving the powders. The mix of powders and chemicals sitting on the surface were filling a set of pill capsules.

“Who are we bedding?” Another voice joined the group, another naked person. This one however was partially covered by a blanket and was lying on what seemed to be Sage’s bed. The bed had been pushed into the corner of the room and at the moment it held both thirteen and the other woman.

“A Beta.”

“A new Beta? Who is it?” The girl questioned now looking more awake than before.

“Her.”

“That’s a her?” The girl mumbled to herself looking the stranger up and down. Her words forced a smile from Sage and a chuckle from Thirteen.

“What’s your name Beta?” Sage asked, staring down the lense of a microscope.

“Karma.”

“Karma?”

“Yes.”

“Ok, how much cash do you have Karma?”

“Enough.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“I’ve got six bottles of Juko and three of Kaiju.”

“What’s Kaiju?”

“Something that hits harder than Juko and for twice as long, you’ll be lucky if you don’t black out for most of it though.”

“I’ll take all of it.”

“All the Kaiju?”

“No, all of it.”

Thirteen’s eyes widened and they spoke up, “Fuck I’ll make sure to be checking the news.”

“That’s-, Jay count it.” Sage had started to guess the price but instead seemed to have told the girl on the bed to do it.

“Nine passifiers, sixty candies a piece, that’s a dollar for half of each.. You sure you have enough?”

“Yes.”

“Fucking hell.. That’s a Ten.” At that the stranger sighed and finally opened her bag. Inside it were a few rolls of cash and two whole bottles of liquor. This was either a hard partier or someone on a suicide watchlist.

A single roll was tossed to Jay and she started counting it, with every two hundred a bottle was passed. “Thanks.” Karma spoke as the last bottle was placed in her backpack.

“Can I ask what you’re going to do with all that?” Sage was the one who spoke looking as concerned and confused as the other two. This stranger had just paid their rent in one go.

“Birthday present.” That was the last of the conversation, Karma walked out of the apartment and went on her way leaving three very confused drug dealers to decipher what the hell just happened.

“Fucking gangsters man.” Jay spoke and fell back into the mess of blankets on the bed. The cash was in her hands and she stared at it. “Have we ever-”

“No. All of our customers do one or two pills at a time.”

“Holy fuck.”

“Yeah.”

“ Do we have anything left?”

“Enough to make another Dime of Juko and a Penny of Kaiju. I got a Quarter of Grey from Sid though.”

“That’s enough for the rest of our customers,”

“Good,”

“There won’t be enough for us to go fatal tonight.”

“Fuck. T call Tago and tell her to get us more of everything, I’ll get some Lannie from Sid.” Thirteen nodded and walked out of the room while Sage got to work on the rest of the pills. A year ago Sage would’ve called you insane if you asked her to try a beta drug. This was now, after the accident, and she had to escape. Another junkie needing a fix, a different breed of fix. Going fatal was the best way to forget about that day, she couldn’t feel the pain if she wasn’t in her body.

“You going now?” Jay asked from the bed, Sage didn’t answer. The woman was already out the door with her backpack by the time the words left Jay's mouth. “I guess so..” The art major mumbled to herself before her eyes landed on the wad of cash once more.

Sage was nearly sprinting when she passed Karma. The woman was talking with a group of people, laughing along at a joke. For a moment the dealer wondered if they knew what she was, the thought died on impact when Karma's eyes met Sages. “Fuck.” She mumbled once again and looked ahead. It wasn’t long after that the dealer stopped outside of an engineers den. From there she walked in, pushing aside the cloth door and walking into the dark room.

“Ame you have the board I asked for?”

“Smith? Yes, it’s in the back. Be careful with it, it’s not tuned yet.”

“Thanks Ames. See you at the grave.”

“Get ghoullie babes.”

“Ghoullie?”

“Yes.” The engineer chuckled at the confused expression Sage wore. “Get out of here,” As Ame said this the dealer made her way out of the den. A relieved sigh escaped her as she realized that Karma had left. She tossed the board to the ground, it made a whirring noise and a green light emitted from it as the board caught itself a foot off of the ground.

“Good work Ames.” She smiled and stepped onto the deck as she slid on a pair of leather gloves. A set of wires in the gloves wove themselves around her fingers. In an instant she was off once again, moving fast through the crowds before she grabbed the side of a sign and hefted herself above the crowd upping the thrusters and the main engine on the board. She was fifteen feet in the air and moving faster than a nearby car. Sage smirked. “Great work.”

#writing #cyberpunk

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liljaspie · 4 years

Text

Warning

Foul Language

Mentions of mental illness

" What Brought You Here ? "

>[ S T A R T ]<

" What brings you here? "

" A life of pain, debt, and disappointment. " A tired entity spoke, they walked slowly and dispassionately with a strong stumble in their step. Not long after, they fell lazily, and heavily. Right into an ornate chair in the serpent girls home.

The way they sighed out the remnants of their soul made them seem.. Depressed, a person left without any energy at all, like a hollow copy of the original.

"I'll take that as an insult." The serpents eyes drifted into slits as her scaled lips pulled open to utter "What, did your stash leave you lonely?" Her pupils were seeming to shrink with every word as her voice thickened with mockery. "All tucked up in your satin and satire bedsheets?" An even attack against the somber being that had little reason to be the way they were.

"Not at all, it left me itchy, sweaty, and cramping like a middleschool girl." They shot back with a half hearted glare on their weary face.

The serpent lied propped up on one arm staring at them with half amused interest. "How can you be such a sad, sad man?"

Regret crossed her face when he opened his mouth. He started by listing things off; "I'm not a man, for one. But, let's see, my father kicked me out, I fell in- with the kind of people you fall in love with," Their words, as they always did, sparked empathy where irritation had taken hold.

The entities eyes darkened as their head fell back against the cushioned back of the chair.

"Only to find nothing is permanent and I'm the god of change and perversion of holy things."

"Then what is purity? Truly?" The daughter of medusa asked one more question to humor the beaten down and broken poet. She had rolled onto her back and leaned her head over the edge of bed in a way that displayed her body like a piece of artistry in a gallery.

"The way the light bounces off your cinnamon skin only in the moonlight." They started. "The way his eyes lit up every time I leaned closer." They pinched the bridge of their nose to cope with the onslaught of sour emotion. "The way her tears made the pillows damp in the night."

"Things left untampered with?" She asked. "Like the blood from an abused child, or the gaping wounds of war?" Her voice was lazy and unamused.

They lowered their hand if only to glower at the serpent girl. "You know that's not what I meant."

She smiled back smug finding herself getting curious of their answer. "Then correct me."

It was strange the way they had changed from a wintery ball of sadness and decrepit melancholy to something akin to passionate. They were alive once more, revived by poetry. She knew they wouldn't stay for long, but for a few tender moments she could have her friend back.

The autumn creature had started to pace her room, red in their face as their tone changed to one of power. They paced and spoke, and lectured until their fire had burned out. Once their flames had burned down to coals once more she beckoned them to her side.

"So, what happened for you to seek me out so early into the morning?"

"I'm lonely."

"Is that all?"

"I miss her."

"Who?"

"Someone I've never met, or will meet again." Their voice had changed into something desperate and mournful.

The serpent girl sighed, leaning close to kiss their temple. "You were born that way, love, you could feel cold even when smothered under the mixed bodies of your lovers,"

"And I have." They rasped leaning their head against her collar bone.

"Yes, and your angels of small death left with their buzz, the smiles on their faces, and your tender heart beating in their palms. How many times must I tell you, home is not a person, nor is it sex." The serpent girl seemed to laugh as she spoke the last sentence. Her voice carried a tone not dissimilar to a mother scolding her son.

"Many more times I'm afraid." They mumbled into her skin. It was smoother than they remembered, still cold to the touch, as cold as the statues out front.

"Then many more times I shall tell you."

"Why do you always answer when I call?" They asked, after a few seconds of silence between them.

"For the same reason you scream strangers names in the night, and the same reason you cry in blankets damp with sweat and sex."

An amused smirk came to their face. "Because you're hot for me?" The remark was rewarded with a shove that was followed with amused laughter.

"Because we're kindred spirits forced to suffer through agony we cannot face alone."

"Whose the poet now?"

"Careful I might steal your shtick."

They licked their strawberry lips and purred. "You can steal my stick anytime love."

The serpent snickered in response to their comment. "Remember what happened to the last guy who said that?"

"Yeah, but, I'm not Ani."

"You're right, you're cockier and dumber."

"Not dumb enough to not know you're asexual and have mace."

They both chuckled one last time enjoying the fading feeling of amusement. The somber truth of illness and obsession drifted at the edges of their mind like the crisp air biting at their exposed skin.

× E N D ×

Reasoning

I was bored, this is what my mind spat out.

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liljaspie · 4 years

Text

= Warnings =

Drug use

Cursing

" Can We Get Out Of Here ? "

// S T A R T\\

"Is this poetic or just cruel?" Jasper asked staring in the mirror with a deflated expression.

"Both if you squint." Medu mumbled from across the room. As always the green haired woman was sprawled out on her bed naked. True to her nudist ways even in the midst of three of the most hormonal people she'd ever had the displeasure of knowing.

"Why are you bitching? Fucking spoiled little prick, you're lucky Sarah isn't shoving you into a dress and forcing you into a wig." Daniel cussed glaring at the other who did nothing but helplessly look between him and the naked girl. A silent plead for help.

While Jasper blinked in morse code Daniel dug through the drawers for a brush. When he found it he tossed it at his siblings head with dead accuracy. It bounced with a dull thud and a wimpy yelp of pain. "Comb your goddamn hair!"

Medu sighed in a way that sounded like a hiss and Jasper inhaled with an unintentional snarl. "Come here babes." The green girl beckoned seeing the rising irritation in the other by the look on their pale face.

The black haired victim stood with a dragging stumble in their step. It took longer than it should've to cross the room, but when they reached the bed, Jasper didn't hesitate to fall face first onto the bed and it's many blankets with the brush clutched loosely in their hand.

The tanned girl let a soft chuckle rumble out of her. It vibrated the bed just enough to make the tired being look over at her. A note of they were trying, even if all it was, was trying.

"Give me the brush and get over here." Her command was followed without argument. Jasper lied with their head on Medu's thigh as the other ran the brush through the dyed black locks.

If a human could purr the ravenette probably would be in that moment. The bed was soft, Medu's skin was warm, and smelled like honeysuckle. Though their muscles tensed when Daniel once again made himself known. "We've only got an hour, you still need to figure out if the fucking suit fits at all." He pointed an accusing finger at Jasper.

A sigh was heard, once again with an unintentional snarl that made Medu raise her brow. "What?"

"I-I" A mumble. "I don't want to go Mei." Pale arms found themselves around the green haired girls waist. An action to insinuate how heavy the sentence was.

"It's just your family Jay-Jay."

"That's the problem." A bitter remark.

"I guess it is.. It shouldn't last long?"

"Knowing my brother he's going to pay for a stripper and spend the whole night degrading me to her."

"A couple of big steps back in therapy?"

"It'll be a miracle if I stay sober for more than an hour, even more of one if I don't get into a fist fight with Daniel or a brawl with a stranger."

Medu gave Jasper a pitious look. An almost hurt one, the ravenette had promised again and again they wouldn't get into fights, but life was short, and Jasper was an asshole.

"Get up dumbass, get dressed your brother is about to pop a blood vessel, and not one of his." Hadrian spoke from the doorway, his tone was light, his eyes were red, and his beard was perfect.

When they didn't move Hadrian walked over and picked them up by their feet. "Hades what are you doing-?" A question answered a few seconds later when Jasper was lifted off the bed dangling off of the mans back. "Put me down."

Hadrian had a look of contemplation. "Get dressed."

"Put me down."

"Get dressed."

"How?"

"That's a you problem bud, get dressed."

Their face was red from hanging upside down. There wasn't much time for the poorly circulated ravenette before they stopped feeling their legs. It was awkward and uncomfortable, the way Jasper practically had to do crunches to put on the shirt. A concussion was probable from the way Hadrian dropped them, suddenly letting go of their calves and doing a gravity check.

"You look handsome Jay." Medu spoke from the bed.

Jasper rolled their eyes and tied their tie looking in the mirror to give the green haired girl a half hearted glare. "I always look handsome love,"

"JASP-" Daniel appeared in the doorway red in the face ready to scream. "-OH you're dressed, get in the car it's almost time to go." It wasn't kindness or joy, just a less angry tone that allowed the ravennette to follow their blonde brother.

"Bye babes." Medu spoke still sitting on the bed.

"See you sweets." Jasper responded pulling the door closed behind them as Hadrian walked out.

The ride was long and boring. The same street signs and buildings that were always there.

The music in the club was loud, the lights were neon, and the dancers were naked. "Jay baby! Where you been these past couple months?" A woman with dreads asked leaning against the bar.

"I told you I was going to Paris for awhile."

"Yeah, but I didn't think you'd actually go! Where'd you even get the cash for that?" She asked with a slight smile on her face.

"Work, I have a job Karma."

"Do you?" She mumbled mostly to herself. 'Must've been the other guy..' Could've been heard faintly under her breath. She cleared her throat. "Wheres Corbin?"

"With Big Danny over at the chocolate fountain." Jasper spoke both mournful and glad to be free of the interaction.

Hadrian had snuck up on them, or rather, had been standing there giggling to himself at the cousin and cousin interaction. "Soo, why did you bring me here?" He had spoken curiously raising his brow at his adopted sibling.

"You're more family than anyone else in this building." A response made by the black sheep of the family. A less known, less liked, less confident person.

"Pfft, yeah, I'm pretty sure I heard your cousins yelling your deadname when we walked in."

"Fucking Kie." Jasper muttered not missing a beat when they turned on their heal and ordered two vodka shots. Hadrian followed asking for two more, they were added to the tab.

"So glum you're going to drink your way to heaven? What's wrong? They missed you, they threw you a party, buck up." He spoke leaning back with his elbows against the oak bar.

"Half of these people don't know my name, the other half haven't seen me fully clothed- Ever."

The man quirked his brow. "How, I'm sorry, how is that bad?"

"Because, these are my people!" As they spoke they lifted their arms in a would-be joyous gesture. Though their arms fell limp and they slouched forward on the bar. "But my family is here too."

"So what?"

"My judgemental, heteronormative, never forget a thing, family is here."

"I'm still not seeing the issue Jaspie."

"I bring great shame and dishonor to my family, and they willingly came to my world, to crush it." Hadrian immediately brushed off their comment.

"Nahh, I refuse to believe they mean anything but good." He spoke putting his hands on Jaspers shoulders so they'd look at him. The gesture worked, and the other had leaned their head back to frown at him.

The ravenette then turned around, and patted the mans cheek. "They aren't good like you." As this sank in, between both of them two glasses clunked against the bar. They were gone as soon as they hit the oak- "Salud." A comment made in synchronicity.

"Wheres Nickolas anyway, he's practically your twin with how much you two copy eachother." A change of pace and an intentional deflection by Hadrian himself.

Jasper just sighed and ran a hand through their hair. "He's still in Paris, we got into a fight, he's staying with his boyfriend."

"Oh. What- No! Nevermind you need a drink, soooo-" The man knocked on the bar adding a couple more dollars to his tab. "Six shots for the lovely nonbinary."

The sound of scuffling and glass lightly hitting oak echoed in Jaspers head. "Hey.. Hades.. Can-uh Can we get out of here?"

Hadrian raised his brow but nodded knocking back one of the shots before he slid off the barstool. "Sure.. Home-?

Jasper shook their head quickly. "No, no, I don't want to go back there yet.. Daniel will find me." It took a few seconds before an idea of where to go came up. "Let's climb to the roof of the library."

"We haven't done that since we were kids Jasp." Hadrian responded looking at the other. "Are you that uncomfortable?" His brow had furrowed with concern. He soon caved however at the way the other fidgeted. "Jesus, fine. Fine. Let's go. Get you out of here."

The sigh of relief was the only thing Hadrian needed to convince himself he was doing the right thing. They left the club, sneaking their way through the crowd and snagging a few beers.

The walk was nostalgic, the first time back home in years, with their best friend by their side. The gentle hum of Hades Lofi music keeping them both calm in their slight haze.

The feeling of thick boots hitting asphalt, and the ever so faint sound of the loose shoelaces clacking against it resonated with them both. "How long has it been?"

Hadrian looked at Jasper with a mix of confusion and concern. "Since what?"

"How long has it been since the last time we did this?" The lump building in their throat made the words seem a bit heavier.

"Four years."

"Four?"

"Yes, that's how time and math work dumbass."

"You should know I flunked every math class I've ever taken."

"I do know, dumbass."

"Alright.. Why did you decide to come tonight?"

"Your neice wanted you to show her your old music, and I missed you fuckface."

"The metal bands? She doesn't want to hear those." Jasper had a confused look ob their face.

"She loves them actually. Kind of obsessed with it, it blows my mind.."

"I'll make a playlist for her tomorrow then.. Tonight however, Uncle Jay Jay is going to get hammered and probably jump off a roof."

"Plausible deniability." Hadrian spoke lifting up his bottle of bud light.

Jasper took a swig of the drink and swished it in their mouth for a second. "Is that the lirbary?"

"Yeah, it's been abandoned since senior year." The man had spoke.

"I missed too much."

"You came back though."

"I left too.. Do you think Lauren will ever forgive me?"

"I'm not sure if she'll ever get out of jail Jasp.." Hadrian spoke with a bitter tone in his voice. "She an addict... and not one that wants to recover."

"Yeah but so was I Hades.."

"I know.. but drop it? Please."

The conversation had ended there. On that somber note. Three childhood friends who didn't know eachother like they used to. Who weren't the same kids they grew up with. Tonight was the last night they'd probably see eachother. A last ditch effort to stay connected even though they had nothing in common.

Hadrian despite his childhood of gun threats and abuse wanted to live peacefully, legally.

Jasper partook in drugs, sex, and car theft. They were a prostitute and a thief. They were hated, and unlike Hades, they didn't have the spine to fight against the stereotype.

Lauren, was your run of the mill depressed kid. Only she wasn't a kid anymore, and her coping mechanism became an addiction.

"Jasper."

"Yeah?"

"How the fuck are we going to get up there?"

= E N D =

Uh, end I guess? I don't love how this was written, but, better than it could be-?

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liljaspie · 4 years

Text

[ I N S P I R A T I O N ]

< W A R N I N G S >

Mentions of mental illness

Language

Murder, Grief, Death

" Who Are You ? "

÷ S T A R T ÷

Like every other sad story this one starts in the middle of a rainstorm. Tear filled eyes and people with lumps in their throats. All dressed in black with heads bowed and eyes shielded from the sight of the coffin. Amidst all of that grief and sorrow, a song was heard.

The song was light and calming with a bubbly tune. It made the mourners look up and around one by one to see who could be playing something so joyous on such a sad, sad day.

No one could find the source, but the song quieted, didn't silence, but it quieted against the heavy sound of the rain. As hours passed people began to walk away, the music had still yet to fade. No, the music didn't stop until there was only one person left standing. A woman with dark skin, dark clothes, and dark eyes.

The song came to an abrupt stop as a dark figure walked into view. A person dressed in black with their hood up and a bundle of flowers in their pale hands. It was, of all people, the person responsible for the mans death. They had wanted to wait until everyone had left. The lingering shadow of one last mourner went unnoticed until it was too late.

"Who are you?" The invisible woman had choked out. Lost her brother and she felt she was soon to be with him.

"Damon," The reaper of the dead mans fate spoke like there was a bundle of rocks tumbling in their voice box.

"DeSantis?" A hesitant question, the masked gunman. The getaway driver, the cop, the thief, and the dealer.

"Yes."

"What are you doing here?"

"You know what. You've heard him say my name a thousand times. You were there, you saw what happened."

"What, have you come to take me from them too?" The woman spoke almost begging for it to be true.

"No." Damon spoke in an even more broken tone. "I'm here to lay my brother to rest." They squatted down and leaned forward just enough for their head to thud against the casket. They were waiting to bury it, they'd arranged for the gravekeeper to bury it once they'd all left.

"He was my brother."

"He was mine too, I've ran from cops, gotten high, even overdosed with him." The tired murder looked back up at the girl. "He was my everything. This fucked up world took him away."

"You shot him."

Pupils dilated and eyes filled with tears. The memory flashed like the lightning overhead. The screams echoed in Damons ears with the gunshot, the thud, and the thunder that brought them back down to earth. "He wasn't supposed to die."

The girls brow furrowed and her eyes narrowed onto the criminal in front of her. "Is that your excuse?!" She roared her words, angry, unforgiving, cruel for the first time in her life.

"No. I don't have an excuse. I killed him, I killed him and it's all my fucking fault, because it was my gun, it was my car, my drugs, and my fucking fear that put him in this casket." Damon wiped their tears. "I couldn't let him shoot the cop. It would've ruined his life.. I didn't.. I didn't know the safety wasn't on.." Anxious ramblings of someone needing something to blame other than themself.

"Stand up." The girl spoke with a firm tone commanding the other to their feet.

"What?" A shaking question with shaking hands and a failing voice.

"Stand up." Restated with half the steel of the last.

Damon stood on shaking legs and weak limbs as they looked at the other. They expected the onslaught of hits and slaps that came but didn't count on the other to stop so soon. The mourner had leaned into the theifs chest and dampened their shirt with her tears. The need to comfort was instant, but the guilt dragged an anchor through their heart.

"I'm sorry." They sighed. "But I know sorry isn't enough."

The womans shoulders shook as she wept. They quaked and churned like a rising tide that gave way to the storm that was her grief.

Jasper sat on the wooden mahogany table in their livingroom and stared at Medu. They watched the girl walk around, lighter, happier, it was hard to believe they were the same girl.

It was harder to believe Medu never recognized them. Although they'd changed a lot in the past two years, since that day at least. They wear less leather and more cotton, their hair is no longer platinum blonde, it's black. New tattoos, new deodorants and colognes, new piercings. Less confidence.

Medu had changed too, less skin tight clothes and makeup. Less kind eyes and naive thoughts. More taekwondo and jiu jitsu classes, more mace, more pocket knives and lighters. She used to be carefree, optimistic, at the death of her brother she hardened. She learned to protect herself because there was no longer a big strong brother to hide behind.

Jasper knew that the new Medu wouldn't have let them leave the cemetery. They knew their friend and roommate would've left only with them in cuffs and black bruises.. If at all.

"Coffee?" Medu asked looking over at Jasper with a light in her eyes that Jasper just didn't deserve.

"Sure," A kind dimpled smile in return.

"Do you want to stop by that new korean place after class?"

"Yeah, I heard it's pretty good."

The conversation went on as it always did. Smoothly, the two could talk for hours about nothing. It made a chain tug at Jaspers neck, they didn't deserve this, or her, at all. They deserved a prison cell in place of freedom and love from one of their victims.

To Medu Jasper had been a godsend in a time of need. Desperation, or depression had lead them right to eachother. A want ad for a roommate. Medu wasn't working as much.. She spent all her time sleeping, or moping.

At first the other seemed to be a cruel person. Dressed in black with scars and scowls in place of a heart but that changed. It changed with the flecks of recognition and the unspoken debt the thief owed. To Medu, a new protector. To Jasper, someone they owed a life, a loved one.

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