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lightnjng · 5 months
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one to ten | jww
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summary: your roommate may not know how to help you feel better, but that won’t stop him from trying. pairing: jeon wonwoo x reader au: roommates to ?, pining, sick fic type: drabble (hurt/comfort, fluff) rating: pg13 — still, minors do not have my consent to interact with my content. cw: gn!spoonie!reader; downbad!best boi!super shy!roommate!wonu; chronic illness/pain is implied but no diagnosis is specified; hand-holding 👁️👄👁️; barely proofread because brain fog, lol. a/n: this is super self-indulgent and based on my own personal experience with chronic illness (fibromyalgia), so it may be different than yours!! wc: 1k
Wonwoo isn’t psychic, but he knows that something is up the second he gets home from work.
Walking through the door of your shared apartment, he moves immediately to deposit his keys on the nearby hook and finds that yours are already there. Odd, he thinks, given your habit of imposing your own overtime. Your commute is shorter than his, and you still never beat him back here.
He looks down as he toes off his shoes, carefully maneuvering them across the mat to avoid both your heels and your sneakers, which don’t seem to have budged since this morning. Wonwoo frowns. It’s rare for you to skip out on the gym at the end of the day, but it’s unheard of for you to miss work — even when you should, in his non-expert opinion.
That’s a bit of a red flag, he’ll admit.
Wonwoo locks the door behind him, pads off across the kitchen and through the adjoining living room, and eventually stops at your bedroom door. It’s cracked open — a secret code of yours, he’s learned. One that means you don’t want to be alone, but you feel the need to warn him about what’s on the other side. Usually, it’s you, deflated in your bed in a way that you find embarrassing. Still, even on your worst days, he’s never seen you look bad. 
He’s not convinced that you could if you tried.
Softly, Wonwoo raps his knuckles against the doorframe to warn you. In response, he gets a muffled, “Hello?” It wraps around his heart and squeezes just a little. He loves that about you; how gentle your voice is when everything else you’re experiencing feels the opposite.
You lift your head up just enough to make eye contact with him as he slips through the doorway, and you smile. If it aches to do so, you pretend like it doesn’t.
He clears his throat awkwardly. “Hey.”
Admittedly, this is the part that Wonwoo feels he’s worst at. He’s never quite sure what to ask or what he can do to help, always simultaneously afraid of being patronizing or too hands-off. It’s a balancing act; his equilibrium is off.
And, god, he’s so shy when it comes to you. He can’t make himself act on any of the comforting impulses he absolutely has, so he simply pauses at the end of your bed and sweeps his eyes over your frame. A triage of sorts, he supposes.
You’re on your right side, hugging a hot water bottle, and there’s a Munchlax plush between your knees to keep them separated. Your left hip hurts, he guesses. It’s probably safe to assume that the rest of you does, too. Crinkling his nose as he thinks, he asks, “One to ten?”
Another code. 
Wonwoo has to adjust the scale when you answer — three — because your three is his eleven. The good news isn’t lost on him, though: Your pain was a six during the last flare. Things may not be great, but they’ve definitely been worse.
“Mostly just tired,” you sigh, as if you can hear the calculations he’s running in his head. “I was this close —” You lift an arm and pull your thumb and index finger in so that they’re almost touching. “— to making it out the door this morning.” 
Dropping your arm again slowly, you pat the space next to you in silent invitation. Wonwoo’s body hesitates, even though his pulse doesn’t. It’s par for the course, unfortunately for him.
He wonders how many moments like this need to pass before his palms don’t sweat anymore. Will filling the spot next to you on your bed, on the couch, or even in your passenger seat ever not affect him like this?
Maybe not.
He’s okay with that, so long as you keep giving him the opportunity.
You laugh, and it single-handedly diffuses the tension in his posture. “I think the side of the bathtub got taller. I almost had to yell for you to haul me out of there, but I managed.”
“Proud of you.” He’s chuckling now, too, but that doesn’t undermine how much he means it. Getting your body to cooperate with you is always hardest in the mornings.
For what it’s worth, he would’ve come running if you’d called.
Carefully, Wonwoo sits down on the vacant side of your bed and scoots closer to you, knowing you’ll call him out for leaving distance and anticipating how badly he'll blush if you do. It’s so much easier for you to be close to people than it is for him, but he’s trying. 
He hopes you see that.
There’s a microscopic wince when you wiggle your way towards him. It’s replaced quickly by a satisfied little grin once you settle, your body curving around his bent knee like a puzzle piece slotting into place.
“You always run warm,” you muse. “I’m jealous.”
Wonwoo blinks, a little dumbfounded that you’ve noticed — not that he should be, really. He’s obviously picked up on a lot of trivia about you since you took over his former roommate’s lease several months back. If he knows the order of your skin care routine, it’s not weird for you to know that he can’t sleep without a fan on.
Should he have noticed this about you by now?
Curiosity makes him bold, apparently. He pulls his palm off the mattress and touches his fingertips to the back of your hand. “Goddamn,” he whistles. 
His hypothesis is proven the second he touches you — you’re freezing — but Wonwoo admittedly gets a kick out of the temperature disparity. He can’t help but run the pads of his fingers absentmindedly over your skin, tracing nonsense patterns. You can’t help the pleased hum that slips out of you as you watch his ministrations; or the way your heavy eyelids start to interrupt your view. 
Even when he’s sure you’ve been lulled to sleep, Wonwoo keeps doodling. It’s got to be exhausting to exist in a body that always aches, and you deserve whatever rest you can get. Truth be told, he could probably stay like this for hours if that would help. He’d be doing the same thing at his PC, anyways, holding a mouse instead of your hand.
Yeah, he thinks, this is a much better set-up.
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lightnjng · 6 months
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I requested this!!!!! this was so freaking good I’m in tears 🫶 thank u for this it was everything n more hehehe <3 ur writing is some of my favourite ever on this site
this is just so wonwoo it HURTSSS
wonwoo barely has time to register that you’re home before you’re grabbing his arm and quite literally tugging him towards the front door.
“babe — ba — what are you doing?” he splutters helplessly, trying to dig his heels in, but some burning enthusiasm seems to have taken over your body.
“wonwoo, it’s raining!”
and you swing the door open simultaneous to him freeing his arm, but that doesn’t matter to you — you’re already dashing out into the sheets of water drumming down on concrete. leaving him standing in the doorway, perplexed, amused, and slightly horrified.
it’s been a while since it’s rained in your area, and wonwoo figures that’s what has you lifting your arms and spinning around, laughing giddily with a sudden rush of euphoria; your eyes closed, clothes drenched, and the most beautiful smile he’s ever seen lifting your lips.
“you’re insane,” he calls, from where he stands, perfectly dry.
(you’re beautiful, he adds, silently.)
your eyes open, then, landing on him, and your smile shifts to something a little more pleading. “dance with me!” you yell, reaching for him, but he’s already shaking his head, laughing:
“absolutely not.”
you retrace your steps, back towards him, grabbing his hands with your wet ones, and shaking them a little — “please,” you say, with widened, beseeching eyes. “just this one time.”
he doesn’t even have time to say no — you’re pulling him into the rain before he can stop you. water drums against his skin; raindrops run rivers down his shirt and his glasses; and somehow, he’s still looking at you.
“dance with me,” you repeat, softer now that you’ve won, and he’s out here getting soaked right beside you.
“there’s no music,” wonwoo replies, one hand pushing wet hair away from your forehead, sliding down to cup your cheek after.
“we don’t need music,” you dismiss easily, smilingly. “dance with me.”
it only takes him a moment to give in, with the smallest of sighs — “just this one time.” he echoes your words back to you, but he can’t help thinking that he’d do this a thousand times over, as long as it was with you.
“and don’t blame me when you wake up sick tomorrow,” he adds, already reaching for your waist, “you did this to yourself.”
you don’t even bother with a verbal response; just one smiling kiss pressed to his cheek as you wrap your arms around him. it makes him smile. the simplest things make him smile, when they’re done by you.
“i think,” he says after a moment, mumbled so softly you barely catch him under the sound of the rain, “this isn’t really dancing. we’re just hugging.”
you don’t care. you just press yourself closer to him, murmuring something about how dancing is overrated, anyway. it makes wonwoo laugh, you feel the vibrations when your head rests on him, and then suddenly he’s kissing you, with intensity so unexpected you almost stumble — and would have, if his arm hadn’t been steadying you from behind.
and just as quickly as it comes, the moment is gone — not forever, but to a tidy little corner of your mind where you preserve the good things. a treasure trove of all the things that keep you going; and the man in front of you, with his forehead pressed against yours, a breathless laugh falling from his lips, is the most precious of them all.
“i love you,” you breathe. it’s barely even a sound, and yet he still catches it. and he still smiles like it’s the first time you’ve told him, when it must be the millionth, at least.
one more kiss, softer and swifter, still smiling as he presses it to your lips, and then wonwoo’s taking your hand.
“i love you too.” (and he says it like a promise, like he always does.) “let’s go inside, you idiot.”
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an / requested by an anon!! hope u like it bb 💗 inspired by real events it was storming SO MUCH last night and i went out on the roof and had an excellent time (unfortunately without wonwoo.)
perm taglist: @n4mj00nvq @eoieopda @som1ig @glowunderthemoon @wondering-out-loud @graybaeismytae @hannyoontify @sahazzy @dokyeomin @icyminghao @smilehui @nicholasluvbot @lvlystars @immabecreepin @hanniehaee @kokoiinuts @astrozuya @doublasting @yepimthatonequirkyteenager @qaramu @weird-bookworm @phenomenalgirl9
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lightnjng · 6 months
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gee. she/they. 22. british. taurus. enfp. wonwoorideul
new to writing! sfw only. lots of fluff hehe.
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all works by me. do not steal. line divider by @benkeibear <3
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lightnjng · 6 months
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catnaps (with you) | jeon wonwoo
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SYNOPSIS. in which you revisit the cat shelter with wonwoo during autumn break. PAIRING. jeon wonwoo x gn!reader (ft. best friend!wen junhui) GENRE. fluff, hurt/comfort, humour? idk i'm unfunny, established relationship, slice of life, college au WARNINGS. kissing (reader has their first kiss 🤭), reader is shorter than wonwoo, cursing, terms of endearment, reader has some insecurity issues n overthinks, reader's parents puts academic pressure on them, a lil allusion to sex but it's cuz jun can't word things properly n reader assumes he's talking abt it 😭, reader is just oblivious to wonwoo being hella whipped for them, this is hella self-indulgent kflgfgsdf WORD COUNT. 10.1k
notes: no one asked for this, and i couldn't help it. enjoy this glimpse into our fav introverted couple whom i missed so much 💘 this could prob be read as separate but i recommend reading the first part for any scenes regarding the cat shelter :) ty to my moot group (i love u guys sm it hurts) for being supportive and eating up all the spoilers i would give cuz i get too excited 💞
← part 1 | part 2 
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[07:41pm | wonu 💘] y/n, are you still in the library? i got you some ice cream :)
The message remains on delivered, though Wonwoo knows you're still in the library. You've been studying continuously for the past two weeks, and since trying to survive in your own dorm room was already hard enough, you decided to romanticise your studying sessions by going to the library. And frankly, it's been working. Sort of.
Wonwoo opens the door into the library, footsteps muted by the soft carpeting that fills the floors. Rows and shelves of books and study materials line the walls and desks with school computers dot the open spaces. As he heads deeper inside, his gaze sweeps across the spacious room, searching for you among the hushed whispers and occasional rustle of pages.
When he finally spots you tucked in a peaceful corner, a gentle smile tugs at his lips. Though he half-expected to see your face buried in a textbook, he sees nothing but your sleepy head laying against the open page, your hand loosely holding a pen, an open notebook at the side displaying half-finished notes, and your laptop which displayed a numerous amount of tabs.
The smile to his face fades just slightly, though his heart still blooms with affection in his chest. He approaches up to you, being as quiet as he can, setting his bag down on the empty chair across from you and your frozen ice cream on the table.
He carefully reaches over to close your laptop, its screen dimming to black as he does so. Cautiously, he takes the pen from your hand and places it on top of your notebook. Then, with utmost care, he starts to organise your scattered notes, aligning them neatly beside your laptop.
Once everything is in order, he takes a moment to admire your slumbering form, over your peaceful expression, which spreads some warmth through him. The dim lighting in the library casts a gentle glow on your features, highlighting the subtle lines of exhaustion to your face.
You always look so cute, he always tells himself, and it reminds of him of the days during senior year when he'd glance in your direction, seeing your napping form and feeling this sudden surge of curiosity, sometimes even protectiveness to watch over you. He recalls how he would often find himself wanting to make sure you were comfortable and well-rested, even back then.
As he begins to pack your belongings into your backpack, you finally stir awake, lowly groaning and blinking as you slowly come back to consciousness. Your gaze meets Wonwoo's as you notice he's been taking care of your things, and a faint blush spreads across your cheeks, a mix of embarrassment and tenderness.
"You... you didn't have to," You mumble sheepishly, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.
He chuckles softly, the deep sound resonating in your chest. "The library's about to close, and I couldn't just let you sleep here all night."
His words only deepen your blush, still feeling that lingering embarrassment course through you. You sit up, still feeling a bit disoriented from your small nap, watching as Wonwoo helps you pack the rest of your belongings before closing up your backpack.
"Ice cream?" he asks, offering you the small cup and spoon.
You feel a slap of panic hit you as you hurl your backpack over your shoulders. "Oh, it-it's not melted, right? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to nap for so long𑁋"
"Angel, it's okay." His laughter is melodic, comforting and reassuring. "I made sure to get it right before I came here."
Gosh, it's so tragically easy for your heart to feel like it might implode, and him calling you angel does nothing but send all those butterflies to your stomach. It's a simple term of endearment, but when he says it, it feels like the most meaningful and affectionate word in the world. He uses those little nicknames in sparse times, mainly to give you comfort, yet you won't deny that it works every time.
You take the cup and spoon from his hand in yours, facing away a little as you take a spoonful of the ice cream in your mouth. The sweet, cold treat soothes your senses and brings a small, contented smile to your lips, and when you glance back at Wonwoo, he's already gazing at you.
There's a certain warmth in the way he looks at you, an intensity that goes beyond words, and a manner that makes you feel almost overwhelmed. He also looks adorably comfortable in the grey sweater that he wore, accentuating his broad shoulders and the subtle strength of his frame.
"What?" You choke out.
Wonwoo moves closer, slowly bringing a hand up, letting a thumb wipe away some ice cream that had escaped from the corner of your lips. His touch sends shivers down your spine.
"Nothing," he says, voice a soft murmur, but his expression turns slightly teasing. "You're just cute."
A playful glint dances in his eyes as he continues to watch your flustered reaction.
"I'm not cute," You protest, though the corners of your lips betray your attempt at seriousness.
"You saying that means you even more cuter."
You almost gag (in a good way, don’t worry). If your ice cream hasn't melted yet, then you sure as hell did.
"You're actually ridiculous," You mutter, trying to hide your flushed cheeks with another scoop of your ice cream in your mouth.
"But you like me," he argues playfully, a sulkiness to his face that you just can't resist.
I do. I really do. You can't deny that. It hasn't even been long since you both came to that realisation; it hasn't even been long since the two of you have graduated high school and started this whole relationship... ordeal, thing (seriously, what the fuck are relationships?). But, in a strange way, it felt like it has been an eternity, yet the feelings haven't changed. Not one bit, and you'd really question your entire being if something were to shift.
Before you can respond, though, a yawn escapes your lips, and it finally dawns on you just how tired you are. Your recent studying marathons have taken a toll on your energy levels, and it's starting to catch up with you. Wonwoo notices the exhaustion engraved into your features and warily takes your almost-finished ice cream from your hand.
"Hey," he encourages delicately, taking your hand and helping you up. "The library is about to close. Let me walk you back."
You don't object, the weariness seeping into your bones, and together you walk out of the library. The campus is quiet under the rays of moonlight, and the air is slowly becoming chilly. He carries your backpack for you, and you hold on to your ice cream, savouring the last few spoonfuls before disposing it in a nearby bin.
It's almost instinctive in the way your hand easily finds his, knowing that it had taken nearly the entirety of summer break to finally get used to that step. Every time your fingers intertwine, there was often that flicker of doubt dancing at the edges of your mind. It's not just the thrill of his touch, but the unshakable uncertainty that lingers beneath the surface.
Sometimes, you wonder if he can sense the hesitation in your grip𑁋the way your fingers tremble slightly as they clasp onto his, if your grip feels too hesitant or too unsure. It's not that you aren't ready, because you are, it's just that it's all so new, so different, and you're afraid that you might mess up.
Holding hands is perhaps one of the most mundane acts in a relationship, yet here you are, almost feeling like you're treading on uncharted territory, taking it in like a historical moment bound for the textbooks. It's the deeper feelings within yourself that are beginning to settle, just like the leaves falling around you as autumn approaches.
"Do you... want to visit home for autumn break?" Wonwoo's question breaks you out of your thoughts, and you look up at him, surprise flickering across your face. "We can also go to the cat shelter too."
"Really?" You question, and the thought of seeing the cats again brings that joy back to your face. It brings you back to all the clear memories you've made in that small little shelter that somehow made the world feel even bigger. However, the thought of visiting home in general makes you feel a bit queasy.
You feel Wonwoo's thumb caress against your knuckles, a smile of his own tugging at his lips. "My grandmother wonders about you, you know."
"Does she miss me that much?" You ask bashfully.
As you arms start to swing back and forth lightly, Wonwoo only chuckles. "Hmm, I think you've become one of her favourites."
Your eyes widen comically. "No way, more favoured than you?"
"You know I can't compete with you," Wonwoo admits cheekily.
The words send a tingle of warmth up your spine, and you can't help but let out a quiet laugh. It's the kind that feels light and easy, the kind that only he seems to be able to coax out of you effortlessly, and the kind that Wonwoo also feels effect himself𑁋seeing you all smiley and happy is enough to send that heat up crawling up his own neck.
As you walk side by side, the cool, crisp evening air envelops you, and the campus falls into a peaceful hush. Your steps echo faintly against the pavement, the sound of your breaths mingling with the rustle of leaves as you pass by. The familiarity of the journey back to your dormitory grounds you.
But then, as you approach the intersection that leads to your dormitory, Wonwoo hesitates for a moment and gently tugs your hand, causing you to stop.
"You know, uh..." he begins, voice a little softer, shyer, than before. "If you want, you can... sleep over at mine? Since I know that your roommates aren't the best."
He's not wrong𑁋your roommates aren't the best at respecting your need for a quiet and peaceful place to study. You've often found your dorm room filled with noise, distractions, and the constant coming and going of people you don't even know. It's a small, cramped space that makes it difficult to focus, and you've had more than a few sleepless nights because of it.
But as his offer hangs in the air, you feel a mixture of emotions swirling inside you. You know that he is being genuinely considerate and kind, but the idea of spending the night at his place makes your heart race with anxiety.
And those thoughts begin to creep in.
You can't help but fidget, and the familiar knot of self-doubt forms in your chest. You want to say yes𑁋to be able to spend more time with him, but the nerves and insecurities gnaw at the back of your mind.
"I..." You murmur, voice barely above a whisper. "I-I think I'll be fine by myself."
Wonwoo's eyes flicker with concern, yet his face only softens. He reaches a hand over, pushing away a stray strand of hair that has fallen over your eyes. There's a pang of guilt that hits him in the chest for asking.
"Okay." His voice is as soothing as a snuggly blanket on a chilly night. "Just... make sure to get some rest, alright? I don't want you to push yourself too hard."
There's a weak smile that crosses your face, and you feel your eyes flutter shut when you feel the press of his lips against your forehead.
When you open your eyes and look up at him, he's still smiling down at you, grabbing your hand back into his and giving a light squeeze.
The silence between you two is comfortable while making your way in the direction of your dorm. It's always like this when you're with him, like a feeling that's become as familiar as breathing. There's an intimacy in the way the world seems to hush itself when you're together and the outside noises dim, becoming irrelevant.
Wonwoo kisses your forehead again before he lets you go, and you're starting to think that maybe, just maybe, you can take that step.
Not tonight, maybe, but someday soon.
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Jeon Wonwoo asked to be your boyfriend on the last day of school of senior year. It happened, conveniently, within the walls of his family-owned cat shelter where at that point, you probably invested more than an entire year's worth of hours needed for school.
It wasn't anything particularly extravagant, nor did it need to be. It was just the two of you, surrounded by the mellow purring of cats after sharing your uneventful summer plans that Wonwoo had asked the question, which left you utterly speechless for a minute or two. Time had stood still, your heart was racing, and you stole a glance at the cats nearby, as if seeking for their approval. Their inquisitive eyes were fixed curiously on the two of you, like witnesses of a love that had just shifted its stem enough to soak in the sunlight.
The moment you accepted with an awfully quiet, heartfelt yes, a shy smile spread across his face, and the tips of his ears flushed a soft pink that matched the colour of delicate cherry blossoms. You remembered the quietness that followed afterward was nothing short of a slightly awkward, giddy jump to your hearts, but that's what made it more endearing, to be honest.
And magically from there, your uneventful summer plans weren't so uneventful after all.
You still had your countless visits to the shelter during summer break, so coming back always felt like a familiar and comforting routine. You've even watched a bunch of your little cat friends getting adopted𑁋Miko was adopted by a single mother seeking for a companion in her studio, and Mochi found her home with an elderly couple who lost their previous cat𑁋yet there's always new ones who capture your heart.
The cat shelter looks more lively with the arrival of autumn. It's been renovated slightly, brightened like the fallen leaves, and the cozy hues of the fall season have been incorporated into the shelter's aesthetic. Small pumpkin decorations fill the shelves, and the walls are showered with maple leaf garlands.
The cats seem to sense the changing season too, some of them basking in the soft light filtering into the shelter.
"Y/N, dear, it's so good to see you!" Wonwoo's grandmother greets you warmly, placing her hands on top of your shoulders and getting a good look at you. "Ah, and you look as beautiful as ever."
You feel your cheeks heat up with her compliment as you hear Wonwoo close the door behind and step up next to you. "It's great to be back. The place looks amazing."
The older woman's eyes twinkle as she looks between the two of you. "It hasn't been the same without both of you around, that's for sure."
She gestures for you both to follow her, and you head deeper into the shelter, joining the cats in their comfortable space as the familiar comfort of the shelter washes over you. It feels like a second home to you.
When Wonwoo's grandmother leaves to tend to some errands, it's just the two of you in the shelter. You and Wonwoo find yourselves sitting on the floor right across from each other, and you watch the way he cradles an affectionate orange tabby named Butter in his arms, a small smile playing on his lips as he gently scratches behind the cat's ear. The cat purrs blissfully, its eyes half-closed, and Wonwoo's expression mirrors the same peacefulness.
But just then, another cat emerges from behind you which startles you. Yet when you look closely, you seem to recognise the familiar pattern of the black and white coating of its fur.
"Loki?" You run a hand through the cat's fur, watching as he curls himself into a comfortable ball on your lap, purring contentedly under your touch. Loki, as you were told before, is one of the oldest residents of the shelter. You remember Wonwoo telling you the struggles of him finding a loving place to go home to, so seeing him right now gives you a bittersweet feeling.
"Ah, I forgot to tell you." Wonwoo's voice pops up as Butter hops off his hold and towards the other cats nearby. "My grandmother decided to adopt him."
That announcement brings a wide smile to your face as you continue to stroke Loki's soft fur. "Really?" Then you softly scratch behind the cat's ear, pressing a small kiss to the top of his head and grinning from the sheer happiness pouring out of you. "You hear that, Loki? You're in good, loving hands now."
Loki only responds by letting out a soft meow, lightly clawing at the sleeves of your sweater.
Wonwoo only grins. He watches the way you shower Loki with attentiveness, fondness, love, and it warms his heart at your caring and gentle nature, to see you so joyful in a place you belong. It's one of the reasons why he had been drawn to you in the first place, one of many things he cherishes about you.
"Have I ever told you how much I love watching you with the cats?"
You pick your head up to look at him, catching the way he's gazing at you with an adoring and almost entranced expression.
"Um." You clear your throat, feeling a warm, fuzzy feeling spreading through your chest. "You... may have mentioned it once or twice before."
The curve at his lips only grow bigger. He scoots a bit closer to you, so your knees are almost touching, and he continues to watch you. "I'll make sure to keep reminding you, then."
You chuckle at this. "Have you always been so cheesy and sappy?"
"What? You don't like it?" He pouts at this, and you can't help but let out a giggle. "I'm just speaking the truth."
It isn't his fault that he has the urge to shower you with the utmost, not-so-subtle, horribly cheesy praises whenever he sees you. You bring that side out of him, to simply put, and he can't help it. When he's with you, it's like this new side of himself emerges, one that's unguarded, affectionate, and unapologetically... captivated by you. And he'd probably do anything to keep you smiling, to see your eyes light up, to hear your laughter.
He's always adored watching you interact with the cats, even from the first day you stepped foot in this place, nothing but all awkward charm and eagerness. You've always had this natural affinity for animals, always so patient and kind, so reassuring and compassionate. It's a part of you that he finds incredibly admiring.
After some time passes, the door to the shelter dings, and when you pick your head up, you find your eyes widening to the sight of your best friend entering inside.
"What's up, fellas! I'm not missing the party, right?" His presence is unusually loud, but that still doesn't stop the grin at your face.
"Jun!" You quickly yet carefully scramble up from the floor, careful not to disturb Loki, before dashing in the boy's direction. "What the hell? I thought you said you had a competition."
Jun scratches the back of his neck bashfully. "Yeah, uh... I lied."
This earns him a playful, but slightly annoyed shove, shooting him a brief glare that he just smirks about. But then he wraps you in a tight hug, the kind that feels like you haven't seen each other in years, before pulling back to flash a grin at Wonwoo, who only offers a wave since he was busy tending to something in the back.
"You should have told me you were coming," You scold him lightly, knocking your shoulder against his. "I would have met up with you earlier."
Jun only shrugs, giving you a look of disbelief. He ruffles your hair playfully, and you swat his hand away with a frown. "Where's the fun in that? I wanted to surprise you."
You roll your eyes. "Whatever, I'm glad you're here, dingus."
"You better be," the taller boy teases, before gazing past your shoulders and looking back at you. "Wanna head out for a bit? You need to spill."
You scoff lightly, giving a nod. You head to the back to tell Wonwoo, who had been helping out with some tasks in the shelter, that you're going to step out with Jun for a while. He tells you to take your time and be careful, watching as you and Jun step out of the shelter together, a boyish smile crossing over his face.
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"So, spill," Jun prompts as the street vendor hands you a warm cup of street tteokbokki. You both find a cozy spot on a nearby bench, the crisp autumn air nipping at your cheeks as you blow on the food to help cool it down. The warmth spreads through your fingers, seeping into your bones, and you feel a sense of comfort settling in as you take a bite.
"What do you want me to spill?" You ask, raising an eyebrow at Jun as you lean back against the bench.
"You know exactly what I mean. Wonwoo, duh." Ugh, he's nosy and infuriating as always, but it's been a while since you've had a heart-to-heart talk with your best friend.
There's a very faint, dreamy curve that plays at your lips at the mention of Wonwoo's name.
"Well, um... He's... he's amazing, you know? He's patient, caring, considerate," You say, picking at the steaming tteokbokki absentmindedly. Amazing doesn't even begin to describe him, but you find yourself struggling to put your thoughts into words. "but it's also kind of scary because he's so amazing. Like, he's smart, talented, and he comes from a really good family..."
"Ah, those thoughts again," Jun remarks knowingly as your voice trails off.
"Yeah." Those thoughts is right, unfortunately. "It's... just me, I guess. I feel like I don't deserve him sometimes."
"Hey, it's normal to feel that way," Jun says, pointing his chopsticks at you. "But honestly, I think you're underestimating yourself. If he didn't see something special in you, he wouldn't be with you."
You lift a brow at him. "Since when did you get so wise to use your brain for once?"
"Dude, we're in college. Everyone's having love problems and shit." Jun smirks, and you can't help but snicker. "I mean, you're lucky you found someone. There's people I know out there swiping right on dating apps and getting ghosted."
You shake your head, a hint of amusement on your face. "Yeah, it's just... I-I don't know. It's all so new, and he's so patient, but what if between all that... I'm not, um... making him happy?"
"Trust me, you make him happy," Jun reassures boldly, his words making your chest feel lighter, yet you know it might not take long for your thoughts to say otherwise. "But have you both...?"
You stare at him, trying to decipher the odd way he's looking at you, and suddenly it clicks.
"Jun, seriously?" You frown, a flush creeping onto your cheeks, resisting the urge to yank a piece of tteokbokki in his face.
"What?" Jun asks innocently, but there's a sly grin on his face. "Did you think... Oh my gosh, that's not what I meant, you weirdo! Have you two kissed?"
It still doesn't help the way your face grows even warmer out of embarrassment and from the spice of the tteokbokki. You've never kissed kissed before, but he has kissed you𑁋on the cheek, the knuckles of your hand, your forehead, the top of your head. You like those kinds of kisses that he gives you, but the thought of a real one, that heart-pounding, butterflies-in-your-stomach kind of kiss, has always been both thrilling and terrifying to you.
There were a few times where it nearly happened𑁋a few times where, at that moment, you wanted it to happen𑁋where your faces were inches apart after he walks you back your dorm, standing in front of the door, but then a burst of awkward laughter, or your own nerves would break the spell. He'd end up placing a simple, lingering kiss to your hair like he always does, yet that alone is enough to make you feel on cloud nine.
"No, we haven't... yet." You swallow another piece of tteokbokki, feeling a little self-conscious. "I... I guess I've just been a little nervous. What if I mess it up?"
"Y/N!" Jun exclaims dramatically, peering at you incredulously. "How could you mess up a first kiss?"
You laugh airily at his reaction. "I-I don't know! What if it's not what he expects, or... it's bad? I just don't want to disappoint him or anything."
"Y/N fucking L/N𑁋"
"Yeah, I'm overthinking again, aren't I?" Gosh, why are you like this? You bite down another piece of tteokbokki in shame. "Sorry."
"You'll be fine! Trust me, it's not as complicated as you think. If anything, he's probably just as nervous as you are."
"What do you know? You haven't kissed anyone yet," You mumble lowly, and when you notice the quietness after your words and catch sight of Jun's reddening face, you let out a gasp this time, literally dropping a piece of tteokbokki on your pants. "Yah, Wen Junhui!"
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[11:59pm | y/n 🤍] wonu?? are u awake?
[12:00am | wonu 💘] no i'm asleep
[12:00am | y/n 🤍] oh 😔
[12:01am | wonu 💘] but i'm awake now are you okay?
[12:02am | y/n 🤍] do you... feel happy when you're with me? (NOT DELIVERED!)
[12:02am | y/n 🤍] i just feel like i don't deserve you sometimes (NOT DELIVERED!)
[12:04am | wonu 💘] is it just one of those nights again?
[12:04am | y/n 🤍] yeah, i'm sorry
[12:05 | wonu 💘] you know i'm here for you, right?
[12:05am | y/n 🤍] i don't want you to deal with my stupid insecurities (NOT DELIVERED!)
[12:06am | y/n 🤍] i know, i'm sorry i woke you up i'll be okay, just need some time
[12:06am | wonu 💘] take your time, angel we can talk when you're ready, yeah? no rush?
[12:07am | y/n 🤍] yeah, okay i'll try and sleep now goodnight wonu :)
[12:07am | wonu 💘] goodnight, y/n :) dream of something beautiful, okay?
You do. You dream of him holding you one day, arms wrapped around you like a protective cocoon and the warmth of his breath hitting your skin.
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Knowing you have an entire week without the stress of school is a bit daunting. It feels incredibly liberating, yet still doesn't clear away the cloud of uncertainties flying around your head.
Being back in your own home isn't your favourite place in the world, as inconsiderate that might sound. It's always met with merely the same conversations as always with your parents: how have your grades been? Have you been studying enough? It's always same fucking cycle.
And it's not that your parents are unkind or don't care about you; they just have their own way of showing it, a way that often feels overbearing and suffocating. You love being home, but you don't love the shadows lurking in the corners of the room that whisper doubt into your ears.
It's hard to shake off this feeling of inadequacy, especially when you're constantly reminded of it, even in the most subtle ways. Sometimes it feels like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, constantly striving for perfection, for approval, for validation, only for that effort to be met with indifference, slipping through your fingers like grains of sand. There is always that tiny, critical voice in your head telling you that it's not enough𑁋that you're not enough.
It's exhausting.
So it isn't surprising that your mood is far from upbeat as you stroll down the street, taking in the slightly musky air, grey clouds in the sky threatening potential rain, and the sight of yellow, orange, and red leaves falling to the ground. It's around evening time, and you find yourself slowly trailing in the direction of the cat shelter, which is where Wonwoo is, since he's allowing his grandmother to rest while he takes care of the shelter for the time being.
He's such a sweetheart, honestly.
There's a droplet that lands on your head, but you don't seem to exactly notice, or really care. You kick a dry leaf down the cracked, barren pavement and it skitters way in the cool breeze, sending a chill running down your skin even through the sweater you had, which may be a bit too thin.
The rain starts to come down more steadily, and for a moment, helps ease the weight of your thoughts. It's not a heavy rain, but it's enough to make you shiver and really wish you had brought an umbrella. A disappointed sigh leaves your lips at the thought as you're about to approach the outskirts of your neighbourhood, knowing well enough that heading back to your house is a much farther walk than the shelter.
You're about to turn back anyway, thinking it's not the best time to visit, when you hear a familiar, awfully faint sound𑁋a meow.
The sound tugs at your heartstrings, some panic crawling into your veins as your gaze flickers around. Your eyes scan anywhere they can reach, and your insistent feet take you in every place that they can, but you don't see any sign of a cat. The rain continues to drizzle even harder, beginning to feel the water starting to seep through the material of your sweater, and you feel a pang of worry settle in your chest, hoping the cat isn't caught out in the cold.
As you take a few steps forward, your ears catch the sound again, a bit louder this time, coming from behind the thick bushes at the side of the road. Cautiously, you part the wet branches and peer through the leaves, and there, sheltered beneath the foliage, you find a small, shivering, and completely drenched kitten.
The kitten is probably no older than a few months, and stares up at you with wide, frightened bright green eyes. Its tiny, wet body is trembling in the cold, and you can't help but feel your heart break at the sight. It lets out another weak whimper at the sight of you, with big, frightened eyes gazing up at you. When you crouch down and attempt to extend a hand out, the kitten only steps back.
"Hey, it-it's okay," You reassure softly, reaching your hand again. "I just want to help you. You can't be out here like this."
But to your avail, the kitten lets out a pitiful mewl, only retreating further into the bush, and you can feel the branches trying to poke at your skin through your sweater. You see the way its tiny body is shivering, and its fur clings to its skin, drenched by the rain which was only getting stronger. You take a deep breath.
"I'm not going to hurt you, okay?" You take a step back, feeling the uncomfortable shift of your position. "I promise I'll keep you safe and warm."
The kitten watches you with apprehensive eyes as you continue to speak softly. Then you extend an arm out again, and slowly, carefully, the kitten inches forward, its movements cautious and wary, and you let it take a sniff of your hand, hoping that your scent is able to coax it out of hiding.
The kitten sniffs your hand tentatively, and after a few long moments, it decides to take a chance. It moves closer, tiny, pink nose nuzzling against your damp fingers as if searching for comfort, and you notice the limp in one of its legs as well. You can see how frightened and vulnerable it is, and your heart aches even more, but you're determined𑁋determined to help this poor kitten.
Slowly, you start to pet the kitten, keeping your touch gentle and soothing.
"There you go, little one," You murmur, continuing to stroke the kitten's wet fur. "You're safe now. Let's get you out of this rain, okay? I'm going to make sure you're taken care of."
The kitten is so light, its body small and fragile, and its fur is a soggy mess. You carefully cradle it in your arms, seemingly fitting perfectly within your hold while trying to shield it from the rain, and the trembling starts to subside just a little as it feels the warmth of your body. You find yourself shivering even more as you step out of the bush, the sweater you're wearing sticking to your skin, but you don't care.
It nuzzles closer to your warmth, and you can feel the rapid, erratic beating of its heart𑁋a heart that has probably never known safety or comfort until now.
You hold the kitten close to your chest, quickly making your way to the shelter as the rain pours down heavily around you.
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The door to the shelter chimes and bounces off the walls of the quiet shelter, making Wonwoo's brows knit together dazedly𑁋who could be here at this hour? He overhears the strong pitter-patter of rain outside hitting the windows as he puts down the metal bowl in his hands before making his way to the front of the shelter.
What he doesn't expect is to be greeted with the sight of you𑁋pretty much drenched from head to toe, hair plastered to your face and the colours of your sweater practically dark, all the water absorbed within its fibres. Rainwater drips from your nose, and your teeth chatter together from the cold. You're trembling as you hold the tiny, trembling kitten in your arms, cradling it close to your chest.
"Y/N?" Wonwoo calls out to you, noticing the way you're shivering in place.
"Um, I-I... I found a kitten," You stutter shakily, holding out the tiny, trembling kitten in your arms, eyes noticeably red as if you've been crying. "It-It's hurt, and I couldn't just let it stay out there..."
"You're shivering," Wonwoo points out worriedly.
"I-I'm fine, but the kitten𑁋"
Wonwoo doesn't let you finish your sentence; instead, he takes one of your hands into his and drags you to the back of the shelter. Instinctively, he's quick to retrieve a towel to wrap around the kitten as he brings it into his arms from yours. He creates a cozy, makeshift area on the table to set the kitten down before wrapping the kitten in the towel, being extra cautious of its injured leg. The kitten only lets out curious meows, eyes closing to the feeling of Wonwoo delicately drying its fur. It doesn't take long for the colours of its fur to start blooming back.
On the other hand, you grab yourself a towel of your own to wrap around you, pacing back and forth anxiously. When Wonwoo emerges back, his face only softens when he catches sight of you.
"She'll be okay," he says, approaching up to you. "I'll take her to the vet first thing in the morning."
"Can I come?" You ask, though the answer is already somewhat obvious𑁋you asking makes him let out a soft chuckle, which was enough to tell you of course.
Wonwoo just nods, keeping his gaze locked on you as if in contemplation, before he approaches and carefully wraps you in his arms, knowing that you must be cold and shaken from the rain. At first, you shift in his hold, but as you feel the warmth from his body seep into your skin, you find yourself relaxing.
He holds you close, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as you bury your face into his chest, some water from your hair dripping onto his clothes. The scent of the shelter, a mix of disinfectant and the familiar musk of the cats, as well as Wonwoo, suspend in the air, and you find comfort in the familiarity of it all.
Outside, the rain still pours, yet could only listen to the the comforting hum of the heater, the soft purring of the cats, and the oddly soothing way you can listen to Wonwoo's steady, yet also somewhat unsteady heartbeat.
"It's going to be okay," he murmurs against your hair, his breath sending a shiver down your spine, but this time, it's not from the cold.
"She was... she was so scared," You mutter into his chest. "Who could've done this to her? Who could've... just left her there?" There's a hint of anger and sadness in your voice that makes it quiver, and Wonwoo could only tighten his hold around you.
He doesn't have all the answers, but he knows that what matters right now is that you're here, and you're okay, and that the kitten is safe.
When you pull back, you find yourself looking at him, and time stands still. Despite the intensity of his eyes on you, you barely catch the way his breath seems to hitch when you blink up at him, his hands falling down to plant at your waist lightly. Your faces𑁋lips𑁋are merely inches apart, and you can feel the warmth of his slightly shaky breath hit your skin.
You've never been this close to someone, never felt the warmth of their breath, never stared into their eyes with such intimacy. It's almost overwhelming how vulnerable this closeness makes you feel.
Wonwoo's eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips, and there's a moment of hesitation. You feel the soft, hesitant pressure of his hands on your waist, and his thumbs draw slow circles against your sides. He's silently asking for your consent from the way he lingers, waiting for any sign that you might want this as much as he does, any sign that you might object. Your breath hitches as he leans in just a fraction closer, your heart pounding painfully against your ribs. You're both aware of the moment, how close you are to each other, as your lips hover so tantalisingly close to each other.
And a faint, almost imperceptible nod from you is all it takes.
The look of surprise in his eyes isn't hard to miss, along with the way he seems to swallow a nervous lump in his throat. When he draws his lips closer to yours, you find your eyes fluttering shut.
But just as the distance between you both shortens, a sudden, loud crash of thunder shakes the shelter, making both of you jump back. A wave of meows fill the room, and the startled reaction of the cats snaps you both back to reality. Your arms remain around each other, and the moment is broken, and it doesn't take long for the two of you to exchange a nervous chuckle.
"We should probably get you dried off properly," he says ruefully, softly, voice barely above a whisper as he pushes his glasses back up, the tips of his ears reddening. "Wouldn't want you catching a cold."
You let out a breath you didn't realise you were holding, the heat in your face still lingering. "Y-Yeah."
You both share another awkward laugh, though the lingering tension between you doesn't quite disappear. Wonwoo retrieves another towel, this time for you, and helps you dry off your hair and clothes as best as he can. There's a gentle tenderness in his actions, like in the way he brushes a strand of wet hair away from your face and the warmth in his eyes as he looks at you, as if he's treating something fragile and precious. The soft touch of his hands against your skin sends shivers down your spine, but you try to focus on getting warm and dry.
Afterward, he insists that you change into something dry, which ended up with him taking off the button-up cardigan that he was wearing and lending it to you even though it's a bit too big, but is incredibly warm and smells like him, which left him in sporting just a large, plain white t-shirt.
You change quickly in a more private area of the shelter, and when you return to the main room, you see Wonwoo hovering above the kitten.
"She's asleep," he tells you when you come close, not before briefly taking in the sight of you in his cardigan. He looks away, a shy grin that he has to bite back. "I think she'll be okay until we take her to the vet in the morning."
You glance down at the kitten, seeing the way she's perfectly curled up in a snug bed he prepared, the towel wrapped around her small body as a makeshift blanket. The colour of her fur is that of a deep solid space grey𑁋a colour heavily associated with the Russian Blue cats. One of her little legs is wrapped in a small plaster, and she seems much more comfortable now. Wonwoo reaches out to stroke the kitten's fur, and the purring starts again, but her eyes don't open.
"She seems so much safer now," You murmur, watching her for a moment longer. You also let your fingers run over her fur, you and Wonwoo's hands brushing against each other briefly, a simple touch that sends a jolt of electricity through your body. You're still holding onto that moment from earlier, and you can tell that Wonwoo feels it too by the way he hesitates before pulling his hand away.
In the background, the rain has gotten lighter, the sound more of a calming, rhythmic patter against the roof. Most of the cats seemed to have settled back down, and the shelter feels warm and cozy despite the gloomy weather outside.
"Do you want to name her?" Wonwoo asks you, nudging his index finger against her little hand.
You look down at the peacefully sleeping kitten, her soft breaths making her seem even more fragile. After a small pause, you smile softly.
"Mmmh..." You tilt your head, observing the sleeping kitten once more, scanning over her grey fur and the tranquil expression on her cute, tiny face. "How about... 'Luna'?"
Wonwoo's eyes only light up even brighter, just like moon itself. "Luna it is, then."
You rest your head on the table as if trying to get to Luna's eye level.
"Hi, Luna," You coo quietly, careful not to startle her. "I'm going to make sure you find a loving home, alright? I'll make sure of it. You deserve all the happiness in the world."
Luna stirs ever so slightly, her little paws kneading the air as if responding to the name and the happiness you promise.
If someone were to stand far away from you, they would probably only see the weariness that passes through your eyes and the relaxed curve to your lips. But Wonwoo likes this up close view of you𑁋the way your pupils seem to be filled with comfort that rivals the soft glow of the morning sun, the way your smile radiates nothing but warmth, and all this love you carry within yourself that makes his heart just a bit more weak. He sees the way your gaze lingers, the way you seem to see a story in Luna's closed eyes, a story that you want to rewrite with just the word home.
And while you keep your eyes on Luna, Wonwoo's eyes only remain on you.
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"Do you seriously have to work on your photography project now?"
Your voice catches Wonwoo's attention, causing him to glance up from the camera in his hands and look at you. You had both of your hands in your pockets, encased comfortably in a sweater that still somehow brought some chills up your skin, and a pout to your face with your eyes narrowed in his direction.
"Well, the point of the project is to catch something beautiful and write an analysis about it, and it’s a beautiful day, so…" Wonwoo specifies playfully, before putting his eye back on eyepiece and directing the camera towards you, and he captures a few of you in your cute, somewhat disheveled glory, and there's a couple of pictures of you attempting to hide your face and the shy smile that running across it.
As he continues to snap photos, you swear you catch a glimpse of the fondness in his eyes. He's not just capturing a random moment; he's capturing you, and it's bringing back that warm and fuzzy feeling to your chest. Your cheeks flush, unsure if it's from the cold grazing your face or Wonwoo himself, and you look down, suddenly feeling all too bashful.
When he finally lowers it, he turns to you with a soft smile.
"Perfect," he murmurs, securing the camera back around his neck and under his scarf.
"You're not going use those for your project, right?"
"Nope," he replies simply as he runs up to catch up to you, your shoulders brushing up against each other. "These are just for me."
Your stomach jumps at his response, feeling a sense of warmth enveloping within you despite the chilly air. The crisp breeze tugs at your sweater, making you shiver, and you huddle deeper into it as much as you can. As you continue walking, Wonwoo's gaze keeps flickering to you, his brows furrowing slightly, and he glances down at the navy blue scarf wrapped around his own neck.
It wasn't until you feel something warm and soft drape around your shoulders, and you look over to find that Wonwoo has smoothly wrapped his scarf around you, his own neck now exposed to the cold breeze.
"What are you doing?" You ask, voice filled with surprise and a hint of concern. "Wonwoo, you'll get cold."
All he does is shake his head. "I'll be fine. I want you to be warm."
You're about to protest, but you can only freeze as he secures the scarf around your neck. The gesture warms not only your body but also your heart, yet you're aware of his susceptibility to the cold as well. The scarf also, once again, smells like him, a mixture of a subtle musky cologne, a comforting hint of fresh laundry, and a trace of his natural scent, which is uniquely his own.
But as you peer at him, seeing the way he's shivering and how his hands slip into his pockets, you could only frown.
So being as stubborn as you can be, you step up to him, making sure to move the camera around his neck out of the way before allowing your arms to wrap around him as if trying to share your own warmth with him. You press yourself as close to him as possible, feeling the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he breathes. You're shorter than him, but it doesn't matter to you at all (though, admittedly, Wonwoo loves it).
For a moment, you both stand there, wrapped in each other's embrace, the chill of the air is momentarily forgotten.
"Sorry, I just..." You start, voice slightly muffled against his chest. "Don't want you to be cold either."
Wonwoo's laughter rumbles through his chest as he holds you closer, even though he's still shivering a bit, which only made you more determined to keep him warm. He tightens his embrace around you, holding you close, letting his head rest on top of yours.
After a few moments, you pull back a bit, meeting his gaze as you look up at him diffidently, briefly catching sight of his soft lips. A moment of temptation washes over you as you gaze at his mouth, and you feel the urge to lean in just like back in the shelter the other day.
But your fucking nerves and anxiety hold you back once again.
So instead, you tip-toe just a bit and press a gentle kiss to the tip of his nose, which was dusted with pink from the cold, instinctively seeing the way he cutely scrunches it. Wonwoo blinks in surprise, his lips parting slightly, and before he can react, you quickly pull away, a playful grin on your face.
You were never usually the one to initiate physical affection, but in this moment, something in you shifted, and it felt... right.
"You... kissed my nose," Wonwoo mumbles under his breath.
It's the way you nod almost innocently that gets his head spinning.
"I did," You respond impishly. "It looked cold."
Oh, he's gone. You don't exactly know it but he is𑁋irrevocably smitten, enamoured, completely caught under your web. In just that single second, he swears he's reduced to an atom, a small, insignificant particle bound to your gravitational pull.
He still can't get himself to respond even from the way your face seems to brighten.
"Come on, let's get to the shelter. I want to see Luna." You reach down to grab his hand, tugging lightly, before dragging him in the direction of the shelter before it gets too cold.
And he just lets you drag him, still caught in a daze the entire way.
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Fortunately, the vet found that Luna's injury was not too severe; it only a small sprain in her leg and with proper care, she would recover just fine. This still didn't stop you from spending time with her though, and there are times where Wonwoo would find you in the back of the shelter, where Luna was sprawled sleepily on the table and you would be dozed off right next to her. The two of you resemble each other a lot, a thought that often entertains Wonwoo.
"It's only just a little catnap!" You had claimed, but both you and Wonwoo knew that it was much more than that.
(He also just really likes seeing how cute you are draped in a blanket𑁋or draped in something owned by him in general).
Luna is settled in your lap on the floor, and Loki doesn't seem exactly fond with the new addition to the shelter who had stolen away your attention. So he trails over to Wonwoo instead, who easily picks him up without any hesitation, stroking the grumpy cat's fur as he sits down right next to you. Loki purrs appreciatively in Wonwoo's arms, occasionally casting a slightly jealous glance in Luna's direction.
"I can't believe that we have to go back to school tomorrow," You mutter disappointingly, watching Luna play with a loose thread on your sweater, batting at it with her tiny paw.
"Time flies, doesn't it?" Wonwoo acknowledges sympathetically.
"Yeah, it does," You muse lowly. "But if I could spend all my time here, I would."
"You know that you're welcome here anytime, right?" Wonwoo reassures you. "You could even come here without me, if you want."
You tilt your head at him, scowling playfully. "But... I'd rather be here with you."
A warm blush creeps onto Wonwoo's cheeks at your words. He looks down at Loki, who's comfortably settled in his arms, and then back at you, a fond smile playing on his lips.
"Did you have a good break though?" he asks. "I never got the chance to ask."
You fret out a sigh. Aside from the times you spent with Wonwoo and in the shelter, thinking about how you felt during the break was all too unnerving. "It's... what I expected, you know? Just... you know how my parents are. They always find a way to kind of just... I don't know... make me feel like I'm not enough, I guess?"
Wonwoo only hums in response, quietly listening as you seem to find the voice to spill the thoughts you've been holding in for the longest time.
"and... it's been like this for years. They never change, and so whenever something good happens, I feel like I don't deserve it." Then you pause, taking in a deep breath. "I-I feel like I don't deserve you sometimes."
This makes Wonwoo bring his attention back up, and he's met with your faint smile and eyes that seemed to be filled with guilt.
"I get scared if I show too much, I'll... I don't know, drive you away? Or if I let myself be too happy, I... end up pushing everyone away, and I can't help it because I don't want to push you away𑁋"
"Then pull me in." Wonwoo's voice is soft yet determined. "You know I'm not going anywhere, right? I'm not running away from you, not now, I don’t plan to.”
You could only stare at him; not blankly, but with an intensity that reflects the emotions swirling around your head.
In this world, you never quite felt good enough, smart enough, or pretty enough. You often questioned why someone as amazing as Wonwoo would be interested in someone like you𑁋someone who constantly felt like they were fumbling through life unnoticeably, someone who listened to their head more than their heart, searching for a place to belong, as you felt like you never fit in anywhere.
In this world, you cherished being alone, so you could burden yourself with your own thoughts. It’s different now𑁋being able to crave someone else’s company more than your own, grappling with the thought that another person wants to get to know you, and you’re giving them the chance to unravel you.
"You're more than enough for me, because you’re you, and I like you," he continues. "You can pull me in, and let me share even a small percentage of your thoughts, because that's with this is, right? We're a team."
A team, the words echo in your mind.
"Have you seen how big your heart is?" Wonwoo questions empathetically. "You give so much of yourself, to the cats, to me. It's no wonder they adore you, and... it's no wonder I do too."
He takes a moment to let his words sink in, giving you the space to process the weight of his sentiment. As you look at him, you notice the genuine affection in his eyes, and a flicker of hope ignites within you. Perhaps there is more to you than you allow yourself to believe.
"And... I hope one day I'll be able to get you to see yourself the way I see you, that a part of your heart will have a space for yourself too, because it's okay to be happy,” he says. "You deserve me. I have worries too, you know, but... being with you makes it all a little easier. Maybe I can make it a little easier for you too, if you'll let me in. We can make it easy together."
We can make it easy together, because not every heart can love itself so simply.
There's a few minutes of silence that passes, and you feel all too tongue-tied to think of a proper response, but it's comforting this way. It's the simple act of being there, existing right next to each other, of accepting each other for who you are, and sharing your vulnerabilities that truly matter.
Luna shifts in your hold, and when you peer down at her, you swear you can see yourself in her tiny, sleepy form: someone so fragile, someone deserving of care, someone deserving of the same care that you give her.
It's the silence alone that feels enough to convey that yeah, everything will be alright as long as you have each other.
You're letting Wonwoo in.
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[03:41am | y/n] hi um i think i want to kiss wonwoo now
[10:03am | mf jerry wen] did u srsly just fucking text me at 3am that u want to kiss ur boyfriend u goddamn insomniac also TMI ew gross 🤮🤮 get a room
[10:05am | mf jerry wen] actually ridiculous ANYWAY (ATTACHMENT: 4 VIDEOS)
[10:09am | y/n] STFU STOP SPAMMING MY PHONE W TIKTOKS IM TRYING TO SLEEP
[10:11am | mf jerry wen] WELL WHOSE FAULT IS THAT 🤨 BE GRATEFUL IM WISHING U GOOD LUCK IDIOT REMEMBER TO BRUSH UR TEETH AND PUT ON CHAPSTICK OR SUM
[10:13am | mf jerry wen] okay wait r u being like fr serious rn like u want to do the whole mouth to mouth resuscitation shebang
[10:18am | y/n] whatever the hell that means also how tf do u know the word resuscitation
[10:19am | mf jerry wen] i'm cpr certified 🥰
[10:19am | y/n] when the fuck ykw i'm not even gonna question it i'm going back to sleep
[10:20am | mf jerry wen] HAPPY KISSING BESTIE 💞🤭🥰🫶💘❣️😍😻
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"Ready to head out?" Wonwoo asks, standing patiently while you dispose of some trash.
"Yeah, just about to be," You tell him as you throw away your empty cup into the trash bin. When you walk in Wonwoo's direction, he already has his hand out for you, and you take it with a shy, grateful smile.
Outside, the world is hushed and peaceful, still like in a singular picture frame, but in an odd way, a bit brighter than before𑁋perhaps from all the streetlights being on, or perhaps from the quiet excitement of the evening. The weather has been slowly getting colder, and you're both finally bundled up enough to handle the chill. The walk back to your dorm is as quiet as ever, only the occasional sound of leaves rustling and your own footsteps the only disruptions to the silence.
Mid-term season is finally over, and you both managed to find the time to celebrate together by going to a new café that had opened near campus. It was a simple, yet incredibly needed escape from the life of university, or life in general. You haven't felt so relaxed and contented in a while, the weight of exams and assignments lifting from your shoulders.
As the sight of your dorm comes up though, you feel a wave of reluctance hit over you.
You don't want the evening to end just yet.
So when you both finally pause in front of the doors to your dorm, you turn to face him. It's about to be that familiar scene of goodnight, I'll see you tomorrow with him, but something inside of you is telling you that you'd rather see tomorrow... with him right next to you.
"I had a good time tonight," Wonwoo says softly, his gaze lingering on your face. His eyes reflect the dimly lit surroundings, and his fingers gently squeeze your hand.
You smile at him, feeling your cheeks warm at his words. "Me too."
Another round of silence passes as you glance between him and the doors to your dorm. You take in a deep breath.
"I... I was wondering..." You start, already trailing off your words and mentally face-palming yourself from the nerves coursing within. "if... if that offer to stay at your place is still open?"
His eyes widen ever so slightly.
"Are you sure?" he asks. "You don't have to if you don't want𑁋"
"I do," You quickly assure him, interrupting his hesitations. "I really want to."
With that, you both continue walking past your dorm, leaving behind the familiar in exchange for the unknown. The walk is brisk, the chill in the air making you huddle closer together. Every now and then, your eyes meet, and the corners of your lips quirk up from excitement, and most obviously, nervousness.
Because, in fact, you're both equally as nervous.
That nervousness lingers like a quiet undercurrent as you approach Wonwoo's apartment. You can feel your heart beating a little faster, and you're sure he can sense it too. It's the kind of nervousness that accompanies with something new and exciting.
Wonwoo was lucky enough to not have to deal with the absolute insanity it comes with living in a dormitory. The peace and quietness was something you loved right away, and when he finally leads you up the front door, you feel the nerves resurface once again knowing you're here, and there's no going back now.
You watch amusedly as Wonwoo fumbles with opening the door to his place, and when it unlocks, he steps back to stand right next to you, as if allowing you to make the decision of going in yourself.
However, you could only keep looking at him, and you can see the anticipation in his eyes, the same nervous energy that was coursing through you. It was just the two of you, standing in front of his apartment door, aware of this next step into the unknown.
Wonwoo has been nothing but patient with you. He's told and showed you more times than you can count on your hands and feet that he respects your pace and that he's willing to wait for you to be ready. But there's something about tonight, standing here on the edge of something new, that makes you want to take that leap of faith.
Because you're a team, and you're together.
"I-I really want to kiss you right now," You blurt out, the words tumbling out of your mouth before you can even think about it, and you feel your face flush out of embarrassment.
Wonwoo swears that simple statement just knocked the life out of him, clearly taken aback, but the surprise soon transforms into a soft, adoring smile. His glance switches from your eyes and settles on your lips and back up to your eyes again. You can feel your heart pounding in your chest, and you wonder if he can hear it too.
"But I'm uh... really nervous," You stammer out shakily, feeling overwhelmingly vulnerable and exposed that you feel like you can probably burst. "I don't... really know how..."
"It's okay." Wonwoo just chuckles, stepping closer to you and leaning in, lips just a breath away from yours. "I'm nervous too."
You feel him put both of his hands at your waist, drawing you closer to him, and the warmth of his touch radiates through the layers of clothing. The soft glow of the hallway light casts on his face, illuminating his warm smile and the sparkle in his eyes. He leans in slowly, giving you time to adjust, stopping right before your lips can meet.
"Can I?" he whispers, his warm breath brushing against your lips, eyes searching yours for consent.
Your heart skips a beat as you nod slightly. The nervousness is still there, evident in the way your fingers twitch lightly, but it's now laced with sweet anticipation. Wonwoo closes the distance between you both, eyes closing as he lets his lips brush against yours a bit hesitantly and tentatively. It's a soft, cautious kiss at first, a testing of waters, and you aren't sure what to do with your hands or how to respond. But as you relax into it, and you kiss him back a bit unconfidently, your hands find their place on his chest, and you can feel the erratic pace of his heart.
His lips taste of comfort and the lingering sweetness of the hot chocolate you both ordered earlier at the café. The world seems to come to a halt; nothing else seems to matter. The hallway light flickers briefly, before shining down like a spotlight on the two of you, highlighting this moment into something incredibly special, a memory etched in your heart. Your initial nervous thoughts had become completely invaded by the thought of only Wonwoo, his lips, his touch, his presence𑁋everything else simply fades into the background.
You can feel the way he smiles under the kiss, the subtle curve of his lips against yours as the kiss deepens ever so slightly, and you can't help but smile too, the corners of your lips turning up as well. There's a gentle urgency in the way his lips move against yours, but he keeps it tender, careful not to rush. Your fingers press gently into Wonwoo's chest as you feel his heartbeat racing under your touch, and his hands on your waist tighten ever so slightly, pulling you even closer.
Yet it isn't until you can feel the way his glasses are slightly pressed against your face that makes you giggle into the kiss.
"Won𑁋" Another bubble of muffled laughter escapes you as he continues to kiss you, his lips teasingly chasing yours and cutting your words off.
Then after a moment, he pulls back to catch some air, and you couldn't help but softly laugh at the way his glasses are endearingly crooked on his face.
"I'm sorry, it's just... Your glasses," You manage to say between breathless, light chuckles, bringing a hand up to readjust them for him on his nose.
He's staring at you with a starry-eyed look as you fix his glasses for him, adoring your concentrated face, and the moment you pull back to look at him, he can't help but press another brief kiss to your lips once more, catching you off-guard.
"Sorry, I..." he mutters apologetically. "Are you... are you okay?"
He tries to scan over your face, searching for any telltale signs of discomfort or hesitation, but all he finds is nothing but the warmth in your eyes and the smile on your lips.
"I'm more than okay," You assure him, pecking him on the lips swiftly, even though your heart is pounding and your head is spinning in circles. You could say that you're absolutely freaking the fuck out and that you might go into cardiac arrest, but you don't, because this is okay𑁋you're okay. "I'm very okay."
You both stand there for a moment, listening to the sounds of each other's heavy breathing as if you're sharing the same rhythm, the same heartbeat. There's that look in his face again𑁋an earnest look of admiration, affection, and longing, like he's trying to engrave every detail of your face, of this moment, into his memory, or like you’ve hung up all the stars in the sky above.
It isn't until a sudden chill makes you both shiver that the two of you notice you're still standing outside in the hallway.
"We should probably head inside," he suggests coyly, and you nod in agreement.
"Yeah." You giddily reach down to grab his hand right away. "We should."
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another note: hehe ty for reading 🫶
taglist (open) ʚɞ @enhazen @haowrld @icyminghao @slytherinshua @jeonride @lockburn-castle @vrnism @weird-bookworm @mhlsymlysn @ryuwonieebae @yeonjuns-redhair @wonwooz1 @woohaeyo @wqnwoos @freshmint54
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lightnjng · 6 months
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Small hearts | neutral
For custom colors just shoot me an ask!
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lightnjng · 10 months
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im going to make today beautiful and it's going to take some effort but i'll do it for myself and it'll be worth it i ll go out walking and i ll i'll ask for help when i feel stuck and i'll reach out for the people i care about and i'll eat something i love and i'll look at the sky and feel grateful and i'll close my eyes and feel the sun on my skin and it will all take a lot of effort but i deserve it
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lightnjng · 10 months
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🐰❤️🐱
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lightnjng · 10 months
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i am a different person than who i was last year. my hair is longer and i cry less and i am stronger. i am a different person than who i was six months ago. i am free and different and am embracing change. i am a different person than who i was a month ago. i sit in the sunlight without worry and i don’t let things stick and i look up and smile. i am a different person than who i was last week. i explore more and look at the sky and laugh more. i am a different person than who i was yesterday. i let go and breathe. i am whole.
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lightnjng · 10 months
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“It's taboo to admit that you're lonely. You can make jokes about it, of course. You can tell people that you spend most of your time with Netflix or that you haven't left the house today and you might not even go outside tomorrow. But rarely do you ever tell people about the true depths of your loneliness, about how you feel more and more alienated from your friends each passing day and you're not sure how to fix it. It seems like everyone is just better at living than you are. A part of you knew this was going to happen. Growing up, you just had this feeling that you wouldn't transition well to adult life, that you'd fall right through the cracks. And look at you now, it's happening.”
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lightnjng · 10 months
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glass, irony and good, anne carson // margaret atwood // enough, suzanne buffam // linnea paskow // in conversation: kathleen turner, david marchese // haunted womanhood, heather havrilesky // where to begin, sue zhao // the stream of life, clarice lisepector
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lightnjng · 10 months
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grieving the person you used to be
marian keyes// ?// bigger than the whole sky, taylor swift// fiona apple// @inkskinned// would've, could've, should've, taylor swift// father, the front bottoms// @inanotherunivrse// ?// memento mori, crywank// @dakotajohnsongf// @ryebreadgf// quote: deathless, catherynne m. valente edit:? // bojack horseman s6 e16// a pearl, mitski// would've, could've,should've, taylor swift// ?// ?// ?// @heavensghost
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lightnjng · 10 months
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I’ve been on my knees since I was 5.
In the chapel,
in a bedroom,
in an alley late at night.
Always facing an inflated
godlike
version of some guy.
But as a girl you do what you need to survive.
You open wider, take the body.
Thank your father, you’ve been naughty.
2 Hail Marys, 20 lashings.
“I’ve been sent to punish you for daring to exist.
You will never know a love as meaningful as this.”
I’ve memorized
the lines
since I was 10.
From the Bible,
from the playbook,
from the magazines for men.
If you should mess it up, you’ll start again.
But, still, they only want
the women
they condemn.
I think that I’d have too much fun in hell.
With the pagans
and the hedonists
and sapphics there as well.
Purgatory seems the better fit
I can’t stand waiting in the corner,
but I do love being hit.
There’s not a torture you can prescribe
that I wouldn’t find
a way to like.
Every single second I’m alive
I’m sharpening an axe I’d like to grind.
“I was sent to punish you
for the way I was designed.
You will never know a love
that you fear more than mine.”
- “God Fear a Woman” 2023
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lightnjng · 10 months
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life is just humiliating yourself over and over and learning to live with the inherent shame of being alive !! do what makes you happy !! it is impossible to live life without embarrassment, so why bother trying !!
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lightnjng · 10 months
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this is me all day
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lightnjng · 10 months
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don’t cry 32 heart emojis in the world ❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🩷🤎🖤🩶🤍💔❤️‍🔥❤️‍🩹❣️💕💞💓💗💖💘💝💟😘😍🥰😻💌🫶🫀♥️
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lightnjng · 10 months
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shaking six year old me by the shoulders YOU WERE RIGHT. YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT LOVE AND ABOUT FAIRNESS AND ABOUT SHARING IS CARING. YOU WERE RIGHT. THE ADULTS DON’T KNOW ANY MORE ABOUT TRUTH THAN YOU DO. KEEP BELIEVING IN THE FAIRIES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE GARDEN. NOTHING IS “JUST THE WAY IT IS”. I AM SORRY THEY EVER CONVINCED YOU TO FEEL SHAME. YOU ARE REAL AND A PART OF THIS WORLD. YOU WERE RIGHT.
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lightnjng · 10 months
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Anytime i see a bunch of pride flags i have to restrain myself from saying "where mexico" bc i doubt anyone will know I'm referencing this
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