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liaaa33 · 27 days

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Why you cut your wrist?

Paring: chris sturniolo x fem reader Waring; self harm, angsty, crying, use of drugs, death wish, dealer chris

Summery:chris is your dealer best friend and sees something you have been hiding for years now.

After 15 min the door rang so I got up and opened the door for chris exited to smoke since we haven’t seen each other for a long time

“Yo what’s up maa” chris said hugging me.

“Nun much just exited to see you again tbh” I smile walking him inside. We got inside my room and sat down next to my window.

“You gonna get the stuff or what?” Chris chuckled.

“Oh damn sorry” I giggled walking over to my drawer getting out some papes and a grinder.

Chris rolled us the joint and passed it over to me wanting me to take the first hit. I place the joint in my mouth chris lighting it looking deep into my eyes. I pass it over to him blowing out my smoke.

“Damn this shi is good asf” I giggle

“Yeah” chris laughed passing me the joint again. He looked into my eyes deep this time different then before.

“You good?” I giggle.

“Yeah yeah.. it’s just idk” he smiled at me.

“Say it weirdo” I laugh at him.

“You look very pretty” he said nervously.

“You fucking with me rn?” I say smiling at him.

“Noo I’m being fr right now” he took a hit of the joint looking me deep into my eyes.

“Well thank you” I smiled confused why my best friend is saying that to me and acting so weird. He passed me the joint again and I smoke it dead throwing it out the window.

“Y/n…”

“Yeah?” I said confused looking at Chris.

“I think I need to tell you something” he said now very serious.

“What’s wrong Chris?” I said confused on why he’s being this weird to me rn scared that he will leave me, scared that I did something wrong.

“I really like you, but like not as friends or not as a hoe I mean like really fucking like you” he said looking into my eyes.

“What” I said checking if I’m not dreaming rn.

“You’re high chris shut up” I giggle.

“No y/n I mean it I really fucking like you” he said.

“I can’t believe you” I said smiling.

“Do I have to prove it or what” he smirked.

“Maybe you do” I giggle as Chris stood up grabbing my face kissing me passionately.

I kissed him back climbing on top of him now sitting on his lap making out with him. He tried taking off my shirt but I stopped him.

“I’m sorry was this to much?” He said now feeling embarrassed.

“No no It’s not that chris..” I said looking down.

“What is it than?” He said forcing me to look at him.

“Don’t worry about it” I forced a smile at him kissing him on the cheek.

“No y/n tell me” he said in a serious voice. I never hear chris this serious ever. Now being nervous I look away again scared he will notice my secret.

“I can’t..” I say.

“Yes you fucking can tell me now y/n I’m being serious” he said looking at me with a mad stare.

“I- I” I tried to say but no words came out of my mouth tears now forming in my eyes.

“Hey.. y/n what is wrong tell me please” chris said now cubbing my face in his hands.

“I’m sorry” I said repeatedly chris still not knowing what’s going on with me.

“What are you sorry about y/n why are you saying you are sorry” he said now panicking since my crying doesn’t stop.

I look at him embarrassed holding my wrists tears rolling down my face. He noticed me holding my wrist and immediately knew what was going on grabbing my wrist pulling up my sleeves revealing many scars and fresh cuts on my arms and wrist some worse then the others.

“My god… y/n…” tears begin rolling down his face too now.

“I’m sorry” I said now crying more than before.

He hugged me tightly comforting me slowly stroking my hair.

“Why..?” He said his voice shaky.

“I- I can’t to this shit anymore chris I’m so tried and empty the only one left in my life is you and I feel like you slowly are drifting away too I’m so scared that you will leave and everyone is so mean to me and I just- I just want to die” i blur out between sobs hiding my face in chris neck.

“What… why didn’t you tell me y/n!?” He said now crying more then before.

I never saw chris ever and him crying in front of me made me realise how fucked up my mind really was. I was embarrassed at myself for telling him all that even tho i knew it didn’t bother him and he was glad i did tell him that.

“I don’t know I’m sorry I’m so so so sorry chris” i say chris looking at me with worry..

“I love you so much y/n you should have told me earlier you know I couldn’t live without you ma… I love you so much more then you think okay?” He said holding me tightly.

“I’m sorry I know chris” I said closing my eyes just enjoying his presence.

“Next time please come to me and don’t hurt yourself okay? You mean so much to me please don’t do that to yourself.” He said stroking my hair kissing my forehead.

“Okay im sorry chris”

:::This was my first story man idk if I like it 💀

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