Second Letter from Corgi to Kitty

My Dear Square Head Messy Kitty Ann,

I am writing to you again. I should try to write more often, because I always have many thoughts.

Thank you for taking care of me when I am ill. I am not a patient person and do not always have the best attitude. Sometimes, my tone is impatient and can be better. Sorry for not being as calm and patient as I should be. Although we did not get to visit places on Monday due to my sickness, I am still happy that we went through a difficult time together. Relationship is always easy when both people are having fun and feeling good. But challenging situations strengthen it. I love our many happy memories, but I also treasure the more difficult moments. I have no regrets, and I do not feel sad about missing an opportunity to travel and have fun. I also feel no regrets finding car key together and missing plan in the morning, or finding parking together while feeling moody. I want to go through moments that are not easy with you only. Also, God allows tough situations in our lives, and life is never meant to be 100% smooth sailing. I trust that He is in control and He still loves me. Even if I die, I am much less afraid because I know I can go to heaven. This is confidence that is only possible if you know that God exists and know Him through the Bible, and I want you to have it.

I am not sure when I am able to move to Thailand. Right now, it seems difficult. I am working towards it. My target is to be able to come over by next year, but I am not sure if this is possible. Learning Thai is important, I am trying to be diligent and consistent in learning so that I can learn faster. (Sometimes it feels very difficult when I am also doing other things. My free time is not 100% in learning Thai.) The best short term solution is to find a job that can let me work remotely, so I can stay in Thailand for a longer time. 😊

For me, the most important thing is Jesus Christ. For our relationship, this is most important. Relationship is strongest when both people have similar beliefs and live out their beliefs. Sometimes, I worry that Kitty might choose not to follow Jesus Christ and decide to have different thinking. There is always a chance that this can happen, because following Jesus is a personal decision. I can’t force you, only can encourage and try to give you some motivation. I want us to go to heaven after we die, and I wish for us to enjoy the best relationship. I hope that you will continue to learn from the Bible and open your heart to Jesus Christ. Following Jesus Christ is the best thing in life, and I want Kitty to have the best. The Christian faith makes the most sense, no other belief even comes close to it. The more you learn, the more you will realize this truth. There is so much evidence for the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, even more so than famous historic figures. There is so much evidence in science that points to the existence of a creator. The Bible is so consistent and coherent in every event mentioned, with many predictions coming true. The proof is so overwhelming that I have more reason to believe in Christianity than any other belief, and I pray that you will come to this realization too. What also convinced me is that the Bible speaks of human sin so accurately that I cannot deny it. I follow the news in the world very close, like the conflict in the Middle East and Israel and Palestine, what is happening in the USA and the world, what the United Nations and World Health Organization is doing and many more news. The world is extremely evil and the Bible describes it so accurately. The rich and powerful often bullies common people and feed them lies, the people in charge often make unjust decisions and punish good while rewarding evil, babies are allowed to be aborted after birth and killed, children are allowed to go for permanent gender-change surgeries without parental consent, racist sexist bigoted and oppressive laws still exist in many countries, wars kill millions of people, diseases run rampant while pharma companies are more interested in profits, many people in power do not have the courage to stop injustices because of personal interests or fear of losing status. Personally, I see the sinfulness in myself and I know that I need God. God created the world and all of us, yet we chose to sin and live our own way instead of following his way. Despite our wickedness, He still sent Jesus Christ to die for our sins and give us eternal life. And after that , He still helps us in life and gives us assurance. I am grateful that despite my wickedness, He loved me so much to save me and give me eternal life. I know that the least I can do is to try to follow His ways and grow in my love for Him.

Sometimes I still feel lazy. I don’t feel like going to church, or join church people to study Bible together. I have given myself excuses to miss out many many times. I am still a sinful person and still a work in progress, just like everyone else. This is normal. All Christians face this challenge. I think you should not feel bad, if you find it challenging. This does not make you a weak Christian. Every Christian is weak, according to the Bible. People who think of themselves as strong, God will humble them and show them that they are not. Even the most committed Christian has challenges, we just don’t see it from our perspective. But the most important thing is to trust God and let him change your heart. I understand that it can feel difficult to go to church alone, or give up precious time and energy to join Bible study small group. I also understand that it is even more difficult when there are no close friends there, and it can feel very lonely. I also understand that it doesn’t feel nice if people ask personal questions or cause you to feel like an outsider or second-class for not being regular in attendance. Do not feel discouraged or feel like you are not meeting up to standards. It is never about hitting a target or a standard. It is about learning to trust God through trying to follow Him. Imagine you are a parent to a child, and you see your child trying to walk and learn. You do not expect him to walk immediately, it will not be realistic. But what makes you happy is to see him try. Sometimes he fails, sometimes he might even give up and rest for a while. All this time, you are not disappointed, because you know that he will succeed eventually. You are always happy to see him try. It is the same with how God looks at us. Corgi wants to encourage you to keep trying 😊 You can trust God (not trust an imperfect person like me, because God promise in the Bible). God will bless us for obedience and following His way. Going to church and Bible study and spending time with other Christians has helped me a lot in life. The Bible teachings has helped me to change how I see the world and how I see myself. I have improved in how I interact with my family, made me more positive as a person, made me unafraid of things that I was previously afraid of. I also have made many close friends who are Christians who can encourage me in my faith. And I know that I do not need any success or achievement in the world to be a complete person, because I am assured that I already have the best thing in Jesus Christ. Sometimes the thing that we need the most is the thing we do not wish to do, sometimes we need to go against our feelings and feel discomfort to gain something good. Corgi want to encourage you to keep going, because I know that it will be worth it. 😊

It is very easy to drift away from our relationship with God. If go to church less, pray less, learn from Bible less, it is like communicating with God less. Because learning from Bible is the primary way God communicates to us, and prayer is the primary way we communicate to God. Every good relationship requires quality communication. Every relationship also needs love, and love is a choice. Many times in a relationship, we do things that we don’t feel like doing out of love. (Corgi wants to thank you for your many acts of love for me.) It is similar with our relationship with God. There are times where we need to make a choice to love God. And what is so assuring and empowering is that God has chosen to love us every time, and the best example of this is sending Jesus Christ to die on the cross for us. It is also like exercise. When you first start, it feels difficult. Once you continue and do it more, it becomes easier. But when you stop, it is difficult to start again. But as it becomes a habit or routine, you start to enjoy it and see much more clearly what benefits it brings to you. Corgi wants you to experience that, and I know you will experience the goodness if you persevere. Importantly, like I said in my previous letter… even if you feel weak and not able, it is ok. God is able. It is not about us. If you have believed the gospel, God has chosen you. If God has chosen you, He will help you to overcome and complete His work in you. He is God, He is absolutely powerful and will have His way. Our weakness does not deter him. In fact, the Bible says that our weakness brings out the power of God even more.

If you have believed the gospel, you are a Christian. You are chosen by God. Not every one comes to hear and believe the gospel, this is a sad fact of life. I understand that you might be hesitant to say that you are a Christian, because you might think that you need to fulfil certain criteria like regular attendance or have certain knowledge of Bible or need to feel some confidence. But the fact is this: being saved does not require us to do anything. We cannot earn our salvation, no matter how much good we do. This is the grace of God. If you have believed, you are Christian. No need to do anything to be Christian. Of course, the journey of growing in knowledge and love of God needs some effort. Of course, true faith needs to be proven by how you live. But that is for later. The fact is: If you have heard the gospel and chose to believe, you are a believer. And you can confidently say that you are Christian.

The gospel is a beautiful thing. It shows the great love and power of God. A perfect God reaching out to sinful man. Sinful people like all of us could not have chosen God if we were given the choice and would have perished because of our great sin. But God sent Jesus Christ to die for our sins, to take away our punishment. And Jesus Christ was willing to suffer the greatest injustice because of his love for us. And he proves that he is God by rising from the dead, showing his power over life and death. The reason why I talk so much about this is because this is the most important thing. And we must always remember this. If the gospel is not true, the entire Christian faith is not true and a waste of time. If Jesus did not rise from the dead, this letter I wrote to you does not matter. But I know that it is true, and people who believe this are the most blessed.

For me, most important thing is to follow Jesus Christ together. Every thing else is secondary. In fact, everything else tends to take care of itself if we follow God. Matthew 6:33 says that if we seek God and His kingdom first, he will provide us what we need in life. Following Bible principles and teachings will also help in relationship. Everything good in me that helped the relationship, you can be sure that it is because I learnt from God and Bible. Every thing that is bad, that is because I am still sinful. 555. I want the best for our relationship. I do not just think long term, I can think about eternity because I believe in a God who is eternal.

I am sorry that I am not able to be there all the time. I always think that I cannot give you the relationship that you should have. So many long periods of absence, it must feel difficult at times. I also understand that it is not easy to live alone. My sister also lived alone from a young age and it was not easy. But I feel proud of you that you have grown to be independent and self-sufficient. I hope to be able to be more present in our relationship. I want to be a good man to you, but I also know that I am imperfect. I am sorry about the times where I failed and I did not do so well. I want you to feel blessed and lucky to be in this relationship. And I know that the more I follow Jesus, the more I will be a good person to benefit this relationship. God is the creator of marriage and relationships, He knows best.

I am still here. I do not intend to go anywhere else, and I have no one else. I want to fight together. I want to build more memories with Kitty. I always feel happy to see you, to spend time with you, to go through quiet, noisy, happy, sad, moody moments with you.

Love, Corgi

My dear square head Kitty Ann,

It has been almost a year since we first met. I never expected our relationship to develop to what it is today, and I feel very fortunate to have met you. You are genuine, kind and very sweet. I do not feel this way about another girl.

With you, I feel very happy and free to be myself. I do not like this world with all its evil, ugliness and imperfections. With you, I feel like I can escape from the real world into another world where I feel happy. All my relationships have always been cut short and never worked out, and no other girl in my life has felt the way you feel about me. No one else has shown the kind of appreciation, care and love that you have shown to me. This is something very precious and rare for me. It is not every day that I meet someone like you. I am very thankful for this, and I want to cherish you. You are someone who is special to me.

When I was alone and not in a relationship, I only needed to care for myself and live life in my own way. But once you entered my life, I have a reason to learn to be more responsible and considerate, to accommodate one important person in my life. You have given me a reason to want to be better, to have something to fight for, to live with more purpose, to grow up and mature as a person. Every man wants to be a hero to somebody, to feel like he matters to somebody. And I want to be a hero to you.

Sometimes when I think of you, I feel happy and sad at the same time, and I cry a little bit. I cry, because I feel happy. I cry, because I feel sad that I miss you. I cry, because I feel sad that this relationship is unfair to you, as I am not there with you more often and not able to give you the relationship that you should have. Sometimes, I wonder if I am the right person for you, because it can feel very difficult to be far away and not seeing me most of the time. I cry, also because I am afraid that something unexpected might happen that cause the relationship to be more difficult or not work out even if I try my best to fight for it. 

As I have mentioned before, the most important concern for me is whether our beliefs about the big things in life will become misaligned and cause our relationship to have strains and conflicts. And to me, the biggest thing in life is Jesus Christ. 

I have not mentioned to you this before. In Christian belief, it is a sin and disobedience to God for a Christian to marry or be intimate with a non-Christian. I was not doing the right thing in God’s eyes when I asked you out on Tinder and wanted to flirt with you, because you were not a believer of Jesus Christ back then. This is not your fault, this is entirely my wrongdoing. As a Christian, I am very far from perfect and still very sinful. I am not a good Christian in some ways. In general, I still want to follow Jesus and obey Him, because I believe the gospel to be real and I know that that I need Jesus in my life. But sometimes, I am weak and still sin and fall to temptation. But even though I regret disobeying God, I do not regret meeting you and knowing you. Our first meeting happened because I chose to sin, but it can never change the fact that I found a wonderful person like you who has made me so much happier. 

I am also afraid to share our real story to my church leader. I have only told him part of the story, and I was not entirely honest with him. I am afraid that if I reveal everything, he might advise me to end our relationship. I cannot bear to disappoint you and break your heart. I really want our relationship to work out, for it to be the last relationship for you and me. Also, I have observed that church leaders are also far from perfect and make many mistakes and give unwise advice that spoil people’s relationships. This also makes me unwilling to share very honestly and openly to my church leader. In my heart, I actually wish that he will not ask so many questions and be ok for me to continue our relationship. Church leader cannot force me to do anything, but I will find myself in a difficult situation if he says “I think it is better for you to end this relationship” and I go against his advice. In my heart, I know I want to continue this relationship and get married and be happy. I am fighting to make it happen. 

It is no problem and perfect if you continue to believe the gospel, continue to learn and follow Jesus Christ more and more. Ideally, if I am lucky, you will become a partner who encourages me to believe and follow Jesus Christ, and able to know the Bible well enough to advise me using God’s word. But this is only my dream and preferred outcome, nobody can guarantee that it will happen. I can only hope that this will be the outcome. As you learn more and more, you might agree, you might disagree, you might choose to follow Jesus Christ more, or you might choose to live life your own way. No matter what, I want you to be true to your heart.

There is so much that I want to say to you about Jesus Christ and Christianity, to tell you about what the Bible says, and help you understand. But I cannot rush the growth and learning. Learning and growing needs to take its natural progression. It will not be right for me to apply pressure, and try to push you to very quickly believe what I believe. I did not want to tell you this from the start, because that might feel like I am giving you pressure to believe without thinking through. I also don’t want the relationship to be the motivation to believe, because that will not be genuine. There is a conflict of interest, because we are in a relationship. I know you mentioned that you are an independent thinker, and you want to make your own decisions. I agree with you, and I am happy that you think that way. I want you to be true to yourself always be genuine.

I think the most important thing is be open to changing your mind, and be teachable and available to learn about God. The truth is, some Christians might appear to be very strong in their beliefs and seem to be doing all the right things outwardly. But the Bible also says that such people might be proud and unteachable and that is sin in God’s opinion. The fact is, there is not such thing as a strong Christian or a weak Christian. Every Christian is weak. What makes a Christian one that God approves is about being teachable and available and willing to understand. This is why a new believer can be seen by God as a better Christian than a very experienced believer. 

Since you believe the gospel and accepted Jesus Christ as your Saviour, you are already a Christian. Jesus Christ does not just want to be your Saviour, He also wants to be your Lord and King. He wants to be your Master, not because he needs to feel good about himself, but because this is the best thing for you. As the Creator who knows everything, God knows what is good for us. Some things might feel strange to follow, but as you know God more and more, I think that things will begin to make space. It will not always be easy, but it will be worth it. You should have your time and space to understand more about Christianity, to ask questions and find answers, to think through how God wants you to live, to grow to be convinced in your heart and mind. You will also have your struggles and challenges that you face. Every Christian has their own journey, and you need to have your own personal journey. I believe that you can do it, not because you are able, but because God is able. If God has chosen you, He will help you overcome sin and change and complete His work in you. He is God, He is absolutely powerful and will have His way. 

You asked whether it will be a problem if your level of belief is different from mine, or if you are not as committed to Christianity as I am. My answer is, there is a possibility, there is a risk. But conversely, some differences in beliefs is also a common thing, No two people will be in complete agreement, every one is different. Even Christian couples also have differences in beliefs, or don’t feel the same passion about the same things. One might feel very strongly about one thing and not so strongly about another thing, while the other person could be the opposite. It can happen. It is for the couple to work things out and find solutions or compromises. I think the relationship only becomes a major problem if one or two of us decide to purposely go against God’s commands or instructions.

I don't know what the future will be like, how things will turn out. I only know that I want to make our relationship work. And I hope that in time to come, Jesus Christ can be at the center of our relationship as well, because that will be the best.

Love, Corgi