Tumgik
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anyone else feel like their spirit is ancient and they’ve been carrying the weight of its heartbreak for an eternity
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nervous
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Only a GOD      can kill another God
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I find these eight seconds to be some of the funniest in existence. 
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Literally my math teacher abandoned today’s lesson because some kid brought his kitten to school i don’t even know
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Imagine showing this video to someone 6 months ago
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Heat index was 110 degrees so we offered him a cold drink. He went for a full body soak instead
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what .
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Cult Members: -performing a ritual in the woods- "We call upon the ancient demon, please heed our call and accept this soul!"
Me: -being sacrificed- "Insufficient data, please connect to WI-FI in order to make calls."
Cult Members: "What? No..." -pauses- "WE CALL UPON THE ANCIENT DEMON, PLEASE HEED OUR CALL AND ACCEPT THIS SOUL!"
Me: "Insufficient data, please connect to WI-"
Cult Members: "What do you mean 'insufficient data'???"
Me: -slaps chest- "Before committing a sacrifice, please update your vessel's soul plan. Your current soul balance is 0. Update your plan to get more roaming data, or connect to your WI-FI and make your call for free."
Cult Members: "Son of a-"
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me yelling “lets GO lesbians” but following me are a bunch of calico kittens
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