The way he would touch my face as I slept and the way he would look at me with love and how I would never look back in the same way because i wanted it to be over with but now I actually do love him and messed it up because I wanted to like go to pride or some shit and was tired but i just want to hear his voice I never want to forget how much he cared for me and loved me even when I felt unsexy and unwell and walked down the street with that goofy grin in a tank top so I would see his muscles and like when we just cuddled on the grass and when he said I made him tear up a bit when I said his eyes were beautiful and when we shared those last moments sitting in the chapel just holding in the rainbow light on the benches and looking back at our relationship and being honest and laughing and crying and kissing and being close and feeling like we never wanted to leave or anything to end and he wanted to make it work but I didn’t so I don’t know what to do did I do the right thing or the easy thing do I think it is doomed because it was my first or what? He texted me everyday and I loved his hand drawn birthday card because he really cared about me and poured his soul into everything and took me seriously and I just went to a party and i just love and miss him so much i love you bby maybe one day again we’ll be together x