Blue sketches cause I love her

why do I seem to need to? || tsc chapter 6

Fox

Gege please, you're ruining his bad boy persona

I’m sorry I died

we don’t talk abt how stressful buying new glasses frames is. ur shopping for your whole personality there. life on the line. do or die. all for two pieces of glass and some sticks

i'm just like sisyphus except instead of pushing a boulder i live with my parents

going a bit nuts over the first interaction between Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji upon his return from the Burial Mounds.

aside: i’m assuming that Lan Wangji acquired the title Hanguang Jun during the Sunshot Campaign (i don’t recall this being explicitly stated but it seems to make sense??), so it would have to have happened during the three months that Wei Wuxian was missing. and when he returns, he tells JC that he investigated and learned that he and JYL were well before going on his revenge path. but he addresses LWJ as Hanguang-Jun, revealing that he’s also checked in on him.

but to my point:

when LWJ refers to him as “Wei Ying,” it implies a closeness or intimacy after everything they’d shared and been through, even upon seeing him like this!! that’s a lot for LWJ! but when WWX, who has called him “Lan Zhan” even when it wasn’t appropriate and kept pushing for them to be friends all these years, suddenly calls him by the respectful honorific “Hanguang-Jun,” it’s a direct “fuck off, we are not friends.” and i think this is an intentional distancing from someone he cares about, someone whose opinion he values but whose affection he simply can’t bear at this time bc he’s overflowing with pain and grief and guilt and hate. and this has to be just as jarring for poor LWJ as seeing him like this in the first place.

then, when LWJ confronts him about his methods and WWX is clearly annoyed, he challenges him with basically a “wtf are you gonna do about it?”, before jumping to an obviously disingenuous “Lan Zhan”, coldly mocking LWJ’s belief in their friendship. (“We’ve just been reunited after so long […] That’s not nice, is it?” is enough to give you whiplash after the initial response.)

when LWJ doesn’t budge, WWX takes it a step further, imitating JC’s address of “Lan-er-gonzi”, again in a subtly mocking way. LWJ calls him “Wei Ying” once more, still trying to reach out, until WWX says his well-being is none of LWJ’s business.

at this point, LWJ loses his cool and yells “Wei Wuxian” to be met with an equally angry “Lan Wangji!” and this last outburst is basically LWJ conceding and taking a step back, allowing the distance between them bc WWX won’t let him near.

the way they say each others names says more about the conversation they’re having than the actual words they’re using, and i’m losing my mind about it.

Labour is going to win the general election and then say this doesn’t go far enough.

When we're looking at why Wei Wuxian took so long to even consider that Lan Wangji might really like him, I think we should maybe place more weight on that time when they were trapped in a cave together at around age eighteen, and Lan Wangji told him his dad was dying and started to cry and Wei Wuxian was like SHIT and fidgeted awkwardly for a while like ahhhhh I hate when people cry especially men what do I do????

And then he tried to find something to say and Lan Wangji was like 'shut up' and he shut up, and Lan Wangji said 'you're a loathsome person' and he shut up so hard he left him alone for three entire days.

Like if I spent three days trapped in hell with someone, restraining myself from reaching out for human interaction because not subjecting them to my personality was literally the only thing I could do to help with their state of misery.

I would have a real hard time letting go of the understanding that the thing this person wanted from me was not to have to deal with me.

you know what’s crazy? how lan xichen defended jin guangyao saying that though the world had many misconceptions about him he still trusted his character just to have that affirmation thrown at his face — no, it’s not even about the naivety of it that makes me laugh, it’s about how he was the person to have seen lan wangji’s grief, had seen his persistence in raising a kid on behalf of wei wuxian, had seen his trials and his willingness to be beside wei wuxian regardless of the world telling him that the guy’s evil. he’s seen it firsthand.

all the while he probably must’ve pitied his brother, uniting with the sects to kill wei wuxian nonetheless, because he didn’t believe in the patriarch’s innocence. it’s that unconscious patronisation that makes it all the more ironic. and the fact that it was exactly jin guangyao’s actions that led to wei wuxian’s downfall.

i know lan xichen’s a good person, but it’s obvious that him and lan qiren had judged wei wuxian countless time throughout it all, and not only because he was ‘tainting’ lan wangji. i was quite annoyed when he called wei wuxian ‘his only mistake’, because, in fact, lan xichen was the one who mistakenly believed in the biggest villain, so he doesn’t have any room to talk. he committed three mistakes: by his perspective of lan wangji and wei wuxian’s relationship, of wei wuxian’s evilness and in his sworn brother as a whole.

it’s more than justified that he took his time in seclusion. it takes a while to come around such a massive mistake (did he think that too, when he saw his brother doing the same all those years ago?). not to mention that it must’ve been a big blow to realize that nie huaisang wasn’t the person he thought he was as well.

this parallel just came to me and i had to rant it so. i know it’s obvious, but yeah. don’t get me wrong, i just think lan xichen having this bit of a ‘fate’ is so good to the novel. brilliant move, mxtx, brilliant move.

because you lured me, and you hurt me, and you taught me. you caged me then you called me crazy.

who’s afraid of little old me // wandavision // you’re on your own, kid // mad woman // mirrorball // the hunger games: mockingjay // stranger things: season 4

There is supposed to be a place where no one can reach you. Traditionally, the home, but now we settle for the ocean, the airplane, the summit of a mountain, the middle of a lake, the shower, the womb, the grave