21:36 — long covid is rough and lonely. I love my life. My life is exactly what I have always wanted. Almost. Still want to meet a life partner but like, friends? Amazing. Career and education? Amazing. Home? I have one and I made the best with what I have. Family? Pretty good. But my health? Deteriorating. Anyhow, the world is on fire but at least there are some small, sweet moments to hold on to.

Virginia Woolf, from a diary entry written c. March 1940 featured in The Diary of Virginia Woolf: vol. V 1936-1941

xi pan / virginia woolf

“in March I’ll be rested, caught up and human.”

— Sylvia Plath, The Letters of Sylvia Plath vol 1: 1940-1956

tumblr cuz them other apps too loud

how i sleep knowing some old russian man in the 19th century mentioned all my angst in his books and i am not universally alone with these feelings

mundane tasks like wiping down surfaces & folding the laundry can be spiritual practices and even blessings if we allow them to be

Bazen öylece rüzgarın ahengine dalar insan. silkeleyip dururken yemyeşil çimenleri..

A momentary breeze..

the thing about the "um excuse me if you're as poor as you say you are why don't you just sell all your most treasured possessions" thing that people love to trot out as some kind of "gotcha" is that they do not acknowledge how fucking soul-crushing it is to be in a situation that is already destroying your mental health and then be forced to sell one of the few things in your life that still bring you joy

thinking over and over and over of that clip from a maya angelou talk about the importance of knowing one another's history. no matter how brutal no matter how bleak no matter how despairing no matter anything because the only way through it is to go all the way through it. and the only way to build anything with one another is by having gone all the way through it because otherwise there is no connection. whats a connection worth that's built on ignorance? sustained by ignorance? "only equals can make friends" she says. only equals.

dostoevsky makes me feel so hopeful and energised man its like i’m here!!!!!! this is the world and it’s hell sometimes but I AM REALLY HERE AND I BELONG IN IT!!!!!!!!

Anastasia 1997 is such a funny movie in that it's opening sequence is like, "the Romanovs died because rasputin put a curse on them AND NO OTHER REASON DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHY THE ROMANOVS ARE DEAD OKAY IT WAS RASPUTIN"

Without feeling a deep pain nothing can be understood in this world (pain is the first sign of life), without feeling a deep anger nothing can be changed (anger is the first political emotion).

remembering someone’s name after a single mention, listening without interrupting, being funny without being mean, being unafraid to chase your passions, holding yourself accountable, being kind without being a doormat, compassion, being open to learning even if you already know so much, taking risks & making mistakes

I am a mosaic of everyone I have ever known and loved and touched and I find fragments of them in my playlists and how I make my tea. we may not know each other any more but we will stay connected like this. I hope a fragment of me is with you too.

when audre lorde said “you need to reach down and touch the thing that’s boiling inside of you and make it somehow useful.”