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leelaayluu · 3 years

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Strangulation

The moment I opened the car door, the cicadas started calling so intensely that I was willing to cover my ears. I squint at the direct sunlight that is so bright that it burns my skin. While coming to the weight of the mind to left the comfortable space where the cooler worked, I stepped on the ground of the stone with sneakers that crushed the heel, and a voice came from the driver's seat.

"I think you'll be out of school at six, but if you need to pick me up early, call me whenever you need me, Hyou."

When I was too troubled to reply and said nothing, I heard my brother responding instead. If you get out of the car and get up, you'll be in too much heat. It snowed later.

Akinari lowered the window of the driver's seat, put his elbow on the frame there, and looked up at us with a familiar smile. “Watch out for heat."

"Thank you for the ride." Setsu bowed my head in a thankful manner.

"No, no, I just had business in this direction, and pick-up and drop-off is cheap! And I want to visit Haruka-sensei's grave. I'm going to let you do it when I pick you up."

"Please buy your own flowers." Akinari smiled wryly, with the meaning that I would not pay. As the conversation began to climb the stone stairs, I heard the sound of Akinari's leaving car and the sound of snow coming up the stairs.

Sweat flows through the back of my neck. Sweat seems to err on a bunch of chrysanthemum flowers held in one hand. Ice rolled up the sleeves of his uniform's short-sleeved shirt. This year's Bon festival seems to have hit a very hot day.

Surrounded by tall trees, the strange cemetery welcomed my brothers in a way that was no different from last summer. There are people who look around, and each ancestor is worshiped to the thought.

"Y. Ice."

I heard a small voice from behind my legs, but I didn't get any particular reaction.

After Setsu waits for this answer for a while, it continues to say.

"Akinari-san game me for a drink, so if I get thirsty, this is the ice..."

I put my hand out backwards with my front facing, and a calm plastic bottle was placed there.

I was annoyed if it was carbonated water, but I turned the cap as it was because it was just tea that I wanted to drink. When the cold tea passed through my throat, I felt a life back.

Get to the place you want and stop. When the character of the line type body named the gravestone seen for the first time in one year and Tsubaki family's grave carved there was looked at, it felt a little sick when it had passed ah again for one year.

When Setsu caught up with the early foot of Hyou, stopped next to it, it stared at the gravestone, and breathed.

It’s been three years since my mother had passed away. And, this is the third time I visit her grave.

It’s true, they would like to come here more often, but this cemetery is by their parents' house far from the apartment where the brothers live, so they couldn't come as often as they’d like.

Besides, the father who is separated lives in the parents' house.

For Hyou, the presence of that father, who had damaged his mother and brother in violence and destroyed his family, was above all hateful. They don't want to see each other again, They don't want to be as close as possible.

On the other hand, he could only remember that his mother was a really nice person. She used to always smile calmly. She was intelligent, humble and warm, but he gets angry when he gets angry. While working as a high school teacher, she was also really enthusiastic about raising children. It is said that people first forget from their voices when they lose someone's memory, but if they want to remember their mother's voice, they have always been brought back to their ears. Is it so easy to forget?

born from her belly and grew up on her hands.

As long as I'm myself, I'm the one and only one who can't take anyone's place.

"Hyou...?"

It returned to me when it was called together. It seems to have been absent-brained while standing in front of the grave. Looking next to my voice, I was a little surprised at the sight of my mother-look looking up at me.

"What's wrong?" Are you okay......?”

He asked him if he thought he was going to the heat, but he was really worried about Setsu.

In the sunlight, the gauze stuck to the cheek stands out disgustingly.

The wounds that are a little out of the bottom are never old. In 痣, the skin remains so white that it looks sickly. I could see painful scars on my his arms with plastic bottles and incense, and on my neck peeking through the collar of my shirt. It's all left behind by Hyou’s beatings.

"Going to the sun shadow...?" The bench over there is just a shadow."

"Erse. I'm indebted to you."

"I'm sorry."

Setsu shrinks my shoulders.

I ignored it, crouched in front of the tombstone, and when I finished offering flowers, water, and fruit, Setsu offered me incense without saying anything in response, light a short candle, raise a incense beam, and put my hands together.

When he got up and went down one step, Setsu raised an incense and put his hands together as well.

Sestu was crouching in front of their mother's grave. Hyou looked down at his small back with his hands together. How small. If you kick him now, he’s going to stop in front of you, hit his head against the tombstone, bleed from his forehead, and start crying. It was a peep when I imagined such a thing.

Hyou turned his eyes off his brother's back with a bitter expression.

It's not something to think about in front of your mother's grave. Drink chilled green tea in a complex mood. I wish I could pour this in my stomach with this heart-watering feeling that I can't say anything about. And I want to digest it and get it out of my body.

Setsu had been keeping his hands together for a long time than what he thought he had, but eventually he stood up quietly and lined up next to Hyou.

I hear the cry of the cicadas. A cool breeze passed through the many tombstones that lined up, informing us of the arrival of the evening. If you look at the clock on your cell phone, it's about 6:00 pm.

"At what time is Akinari-san going to pick us up?”

I said it out loud with the intention of talking to myself, but Setsu answered immediately.

"Oh, he's getting out of college at six."

"At six?" It' takes about 30 minutes to get here..."

"But he said call him if you want to go early."

"It's too troublesome. It's long when he calls me once."

Sighing, he looked up at the sky as the sun began to set.

Then I saw a person walking towards me from the side of my eyes. For some reason, I felt chills, so I turned my face and saw Natsuki. Chills ran down his spine.

"Oh?" He grinned, his eyes as if he had witnessed a rare animal.

"If you think of someone, it's you."

“...... It's not good." The color of Hyou’s eyes changed in an instant. He takes one or two steps back and almost unconsciously, signaled at Setsu to hid behind his back.

When he saw the situation, he put his fist on his mouth and laughed happily at his throat for some reason. "It's been a while, haven't is?" Hyou, Setsu."

It's the worst. I've met the person that I don't want to see the most.

His father, who had not seen him in a while, was dressed in a black suit with no wrinkles and was wearing an expensive tie. His blond hair is styled to the right as when Hyou had last met him. His left and right ears have small earrings. It is covered with the intimidation which does not at bay against those who are somehow taller than Hyou.

It was obvious that he had come to visit Haruka’s grave, like ourselves, because he was holding in one hand a bouquet of chrysanthemum and therindo. However, it did not expect it to match it at all. It's not true.

Natsuki approached the gravestone without worrying about his sons who were wary of him, crouched there, rubbed the cigarette fire that was holding at the end of his mouth against the ground, put it out, and reach for an incense.

"Well, you even offer fruit?" That's great."

As usual, the way he said and did things was light, and everything was stinky. It is unavoidable to touch the 穥 to speak cheerfully. Hyou squeaked.

"Which side did you lower?" I don't believe it."

"Haruka, we're going to visit the grave this year."

「...... you.

"Oh, I'm afraid of Hyou."

Summer students crouched down to look up at Hyou standing in front of Sestu to hide him from Natsuki's eyes. Natsuki laughed fearlessly.

"Are you so afraid of me, Hyou?”"

"Haha. Afraid? What are you saying, bastard?."

"Hey, can I talk to my biological father like that?" 」

"I don't think I'm a father at all, but I'm not taking anything out of it."

Natsuki suddenly stood up and reached out with his nose as he laughed at the attitude of Hyou’s disgust. The neck of Hyou is against the straight line. Hyou was almost reflective and I was able to get rid of it, but at the same time, I shook my shoulder so big that I couldn't make a mistake. My eyes swim upset.

Natsuki laughed at it with a keen eye.

The fear of those days, when he was being abused by this father, is creepy and revives and binds his body. Vomit comes up my throat. Even if nothing is being made, the breath is raised, and cold sweat flows through the kome. I want to stop it, but my teeth are ticking and I can't help it.

Then, it was understood that the back side of the shirt was gripped tightly.

Setsu’s hands were also trembling.

I noticed it, or Natsuki suddenly stretched his neck as if he remembered another existence, peering into Setsu clinging to the back of Hyou.

"Oh, Setsu."

"Don't get close!" Hyou raised his voice while hiding Setsu on his back, but the resistance of such Hyou was empty, and Natsuki approached him, Setsu was looking at him with an expression like a frightened small animal. He laughed.

"You look just like Haruka, don't you?

"Don’t get any closer! I'm gonna kill you!” I yelled, but at the end, the air froze. One hand of Natsuki really captured the neck of Hyou which desperately tried to pull away Setsu this time.

「...... tsu!

I was a breather. I could see that the snow took my breath away behind me. He shook his arm and tried to hit Natsuki's side, but he was easily dodged.

"I'm sorry, Hyou."

Natsuki, who looks like a relentless child, looks down at Hyou.

It was not until the flimsy smile disappeared that I strongly felt that this man was a quite dangerous person. I should have understood it very well.

"The threat of words is the same as child cheating, isn't it?" Nothing's interesting."

Tears oozed faintly at the pain of not be able to breathe.

However, Natsuki immediately let go of the Hyou’s neck and put a thin smile on his face. He it kneels down in front of the grave again like nothing had happened, an incense stick is given, and he puts his hands together.

The hand of Setsu stroked the back of Hyou which put my neck and adjusted the breath. I couldn't help it because my heart was still unnecessarily pulsating.

It is known that breathing difficulties are not the only cause.

This fear of seering into the body probably won't go away until death.

"Hey, Hyou, are you okay...?"

For some reason, I looked into my eyes while listening in a small voice to see if the snow, which had tearsy eyes rather than the ice itself, was bothered to sound summer.

But his eyes still stare at his father.

"Well."

When he stood up and glanced at his wife's sleeping grave with a clean expression, Natsuki walked out as if he had forgotten the existence of his sons, and left the place leisurely.

He couldn't read what he had been thinking for a long time. That part seems to have not changed at all either.

This person in question is not interested in my son at all, and take the attitude which comes from only when the mind is turned to it even if this resents that man so much, is terrified, and wants to kill it. It was more exasperasing than anything else. He's probably not really interested. In words, I'm not sure what my father is, but I'm doubtful that he even recognizes Hyou and Setsu as his sons.

"Hyou..." Setsu called out to Hyou, who had remained silent while keeping eyes closed. Even after his father leaves, he holds Hyou’s trembling tightly and clasps it to his chest in relief. Even my hands are shaking. The summer evening sky, completely stained with orange, was painfully dazzling to my eyes, and I was somehow suddenly tired and closed my eyelids. The cry of the cicadas are already quite far away. The shadow of his brother, standing stunned in front of his mother's grave, stretched flatly on the stone ground. Eventually, with the noisy sound of foot, the call of his cousin was heard, so Hyou opened his eyes and moved on to clearing the grave.

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