Day 30

Today is the last day of my 30-day consumption blog. I have been given the opportunity to reflect on what I consume more than just food, but information, media, social energy, goods, and more. I have especially had the opportunity to not just reflect on how much Bubbly I consume, but also absolutely drown in empty cans. I have bags full of all the sparkling water cans I consumed, and I’m pretty sure I look like a hoarder. Sometimes, when I'm out and about and drink sparkling water, I realize its not a luxury but a burden as I will have to carry the empty can around with me until I get back home. I put them in my backpack water bottle holder, which looks simply like trash I was too lazy to throw away. Sometimes I set them in my car to bring in when I get home, and I forget about them, and someone gets in my car and wonders why there are a few empty cans in the backseat. A friend offered to throw them away for me when she got in my car, and I had to explain that they were for a school project and that I do need to keep them. I have made a mistake, I am suffering. I was devastated to learn I will need to keep them even longer. My quality of life is decreasing with every day that I must live with this ridiculous amount of cans. 

Here are 30 of the cans, stacked into a pyramid:

Here they all are after the pyramid fell over :(

I have another bag in my car, and there were a few casualties, unfortunately. One that was left out too long and a roommate ‘took care of it’ or even times I forgot about the collection. I have a little over 50 in my possession, which is pretty impressive when you consider that I didn’t have any for at least a week during the 30 days. That’s a lot of material wasted just by me in this short time period. Maybe I should get one of those water carbonator machines. 

Well, it’s been real, Blog. I can’t say I’ll miss having to write you every day. Peace out.

Day 29

I woke up today at 11:00am. My first class begins at 8:30am, so this was not ideal, I’d have to say. My second class I knew was supposed to just be a workday, so I didn’t bother going in for that, either. I worked on my paper at home for a few hours, when Emily asked me if I wanted to go grocery shopping. Naomi was around as well, so the three of us and Naomi’s friend Julien all went to Walmart to get some groceries. I drove.

With the readings from the paper in mind, especially “The Theory of Supermarkets” by Jack Hitt, I cautiously walked around the store. I made only a small list as Naomi and I split the groceries for dinners, and she’s the one who likes to cook them. I let her plan it all, I’m really no good at meal prep. We wandered aimlessly throughout the store for a while, the three of us girls all sharing one cart. I rushed through the grocery section and picked out everything I needed within 20 minutes, but the other two took their time, pondering every option, looking up recipes in the aisles. I still had a bit of work to do on my paper, so I was really anxious to get going. Somehow, even though I walked into the store thinking about the article and was in the middle of writing a paper discussing how the overwhelming amount of products give consumers a mere illusion of having free will and yet... and yet I spent more money than I had in my budget for grocery shopping because I bought THREE BOXES of Bubbly, cinnamon bread, pasta sauce (which I already have, I just thought maybe I'd want more ‘some day’ ???), among other things. I saw my roommates buying things and I had picked out my items long before them, so essentially did a second run-through of the store. I 100% feel for it and I am ASHAMED. 

Day 28

Today I woke up very terribly early to finish my monogram poster. I started over, which I'd say is very on brand for me. I’m not very pleased with how it turned out, but I had to turn in something. It is what it is.

Critique wasn’t brutal and that almost made it worse. I wish someone would have said, “Hey, we know you can do better. What is this shit?” but instead it was ignored until nearly the very end of the critique when one of my classmates listed about seven things he liked about it. They sounded like obligatory/pity compliments, though. One girl said I should change the layout. Bill very abruptly announced we were taking a five minute break just then and we didn’t come back to my work at all. I left feel lousy. I think I'll keep working on it. I genuinely really enjoyed the assignment; its fascinating and a great challenge. I know I can do better, I just haven’t been myself lately. 

Today was also the first day of web design that I felt present and comprehended everything. It was almost fun to do the exercises... almost.

When Naomi and I arrived at home, I discovered I was locked out of my room. I was drained and exhausted and desperately wanting to take a nap. Our washing machine broke yesterday when Naomi was doing her laundry. I was planning on doing mine just after her but obviously couldn’t. Our landlord was supposed to come over to try to fix the machine. I called him, and he informed me that he did not look at the machine, but he did fiddle with the locks for the 4,000th time. He accidentally left my room door locked in the process. It happened to be the one day that I didn’t bring my keys with me. This morning I couldn't find my keys when I was already running late, but Naomi was driving us both so I didn’t really need them. I left them in my room. 

I decided to make one of my two blue apron’s for dinner while I waited to be let back in. It was pork gnocchi. It’s very tasty, which is good, because it’ll be my next five meals...

Day 27

Last night I stayed up way later than I anticipated. After I got home from Kjersten’s, all my roommates were hanging out in the common areas, which honestly doesn’t happen often. We ended up all sitting around the dining room table chatting for a while before I suggested playing a game. We played Cards Against Humanity for a lot longer than I thought we would. It was really fun. I really do love these girls!

I am always excited to have roommate bonding time, and I definitely don’t regret it, but I woke up a lot later than I meant to. I have a lot to do today so I’m a little stressed about it. My monogram poster is due tomorrow, my essay is due Tuesday, and I have six web design exercises to do before midnight! I’m so bad at web design, I honestly try to avoid it as long as I can. I need to change that. It’s just not how my brain works and I always end up frustrated. 

I don’t really have many updates for today, I’m mostly just working on homework the entire day. I anticipate tonight will be a late one. 

Day 26

Today I woke up earlier than I would have liked to on a Saturday morning, but for good reason. I participated in the CDES day of service doing Habitat for Humanity, bright and early, at 8am. I picked up two girls from APX at the Dinkytown McDonald’s that I didn’t know very well. I was also supposed to be picking up my friend Karla, who also participated, from her apartment but she slept through her alarm and ended up driving herself. I was bummed that she would no longer be accompanying me in the car with the girls I didn’t know very well. I worried it would be awkward. 

Conversation was a little forced but overall I don’t think it was terribly awkward. There were long silences at times, but it didn’t feel like a loud silence. Once we arrived at the location, we loosened up a ton. I’m glad I went with just the two of them. Even though we’re not by any means best friends now, it was a good opportunity to get to know each other that we otherwise wouldn’t have had.

Before we started working, the homeowner introduced herself to us and told us her story. She has never had enough money to buy a home thus spent her life renting. She encountered many unreliable landlords and sometimes unsafe living conditions in the homes she rented. She has five kids and felt awful having to move them two or three times every year. Now that she has been given a habitat home, we came out to give her a garden and make it look nice! It was a really pleasant experience, actually. I was fully prepared for seven hours of building and hard physical labor. But it ended up being all gardening, which was honestly a really lovely way to start my day. 

In the evening I went to my good friend Kjersten’s bonfire at her new home. She had a baby just a month ago, her second baby, and just moved a week and a half ago. She’s obviously been very busy, so I haven’t seen her in a while. I got to meet and hold new baby boy, Arlo. He was so sweet and good, apparently he doesn’t cry! And her two-year old, Juniper, apparently asks every time they get in the car if they’re going to see Aunty Leah’s house. I’ve missed her so much, too. I’ve worked with kids for a long time and have obviously had connections to so many of them, but I held Juniper the day she was born. I fed her and put her to sleep and changed her diapers when Kjersten was alone and needed to get a few hours of sleep. Now she can hold my hand and dance with me and kiss me on the cheek! My heart is so full. 

Day 25

Today I nannied for Parker in Eden Prairie, as per usual. I spent a lot of the morning working on homework while he played with his image-x toys. I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed by school lately, which I’m not proud of as it is still so early in the semester. I’m glad I had an opportunity to work on it at the Pauling’s house, though. We also baked cookies and made a box fort! My roommate, Emily, and I basically grew up living in the same house as children, and we used to watch this show, “Out Of The Box” and then make box forts. She reminded me of it the other day and I have so many folded up boxes from moving taking up space in my closest. I brought them over to the Pauling’s and showed Parker the show! We made a HUGE box fort just with my moving boxes and police-tape inspired duct tape. 

I stopped by my parent’s house after work for dinner, and hung out for a little while. My CT scan bill arrived in the mail, but my mom said she’s going to take care of it for me. I appreciate this very much.

When I finally get back home, I decide not to do homework (it is a Friday night after all) but to give myself a tiny tattoo on the inside of my finger. I finished all of the episodes of The Good Place that were on Netflix while tediously creating lines with a single dot of ink at a time. Eventually, it takes on the form of a pair of cherries. 

I also realized this evening that I have had an entire box of Bubbly at the bottom of my pantry this whole time and I simply forgot about it. Tragic! 

Day 24

Today I woke up at 6:30 and took the bus to campus. I had Color and Form in Surface Design at 8:30a with James Boyd-Brent. He introduced the new project to us, and we went to the apparel design offices to hear the curator of the Goldstein talk about different types of prints throughout history. She had a real Vera Scarf that Vera Neumann made for Alexander Calder. It was in glass and we weren’t allowed to even touch the glass without gloves on. On it, she wrote “I love you, Calder.” I sent a photo to Julian, my art history major boyfriend, one of whom’s favorite artists of all time and history is Calder. He was very jealous. Here is the photo I took for him.

After my classes today, I went with Naomi and Cassandra to Coffman for the free market pantry. We were able to get two veggies, two fruits, one grain, one protein, a loaf of bread and a stock of kale. This was very appreciated as I wasn’t able to afford to go grocery shopping this week because of the Blue Apron situation. I am thinking of getting another job, but I feel loyal to my nanny family. They have given me many opportunities professionally and otherwise, and I don’t want to quit working with them to get more hours. I fear that most jobs would require me to work more than I want to while still nannying. My aunt offered me a social media marketing position at her cosmetic clinic a few months back but I was already working that position at a different cosmetic clinic, coincidentally enough. They instead gave the position to Julian’s manipulative ex-girlfriend, who this summer tricked him into meeting up with her (she had her friend who was friends with Julian in high school text him asking to catch up. When he arrived to meet the friend, he wasn’t there, it was just his ex. He left right away.) I found this out when my aunt posted a photo with Julian’s ex on facebook announcing her as the new addition to her team. My aunt called me last Sunday and asked if I could do just one project for her to be done by Monday morning. I told her I didn’t have enough time to do that, and she said she understood, but offered me a position as a receptionist. It would be really good pay, in my opinion. I could build my own schedule in the sense that if I only wanted to work one four-hour shift at the clinic, I could do only that amount so it wouldn’t interfere with my current job or schoolwork. I would be allowed to work on my homework there. I’m struggling to stay on my budget-- is not wanting to be around Julian’s ex a good enough reason to not take such a flexible job?

Finally, I ended my day by going to my parent’s house. I had dinner with my mom and dad, took Walter for a walk, and watched a few episodes of The Good Place while enjoying some wine. I’ll be sleeping here tonight as I work early in Eden Prairie tomorrow and it saves me about an hour of sleep to not have to drive all the way from Minneapolis.

Day 23

Today I woke up at 5:30 to finalize my monogram poster for typography. I didn’t end up needing that much time, though, as I finished refining it in just an hour. I went back to bed until 9:00, and when I did, I had an email from Bill saying that class was canceled. I went back to bed, yet again and didn’t wake up until about 2:30p. I drove to campus for Web Design and parked in the 1hr parking spot in front of Mim’s as I had an appointment at 4:00 I had to leave early for. At 3:25, Fancy went to go make copies of a handout, and I left then, even though I told her I would stay for 45 minutes.

I drove to Melrose, where I receive treatment for an eating disorder. My therapist Emily had been in Europe for two weeks, so before today I hadn’t seen her for a while. I usually am very anxious, high energy and ready to talk to her on double-speed, but today my depressive state stretched on. I didn’t know where to start or how to communicate these feelings to Emily, which is rare. Usually I love to talk about my feelings-- almost too much. I did leave the session feeling a lot better, though, and even was able to crack some jokes before I left. 

I returned home and picked up Leah Dahlgren (or “Deah”, as we call her) to go to a city planning meeting at Loring Pasta Bar. It was for the community/public to come learn about and give feedback on the proposed usage of the Dinkytown McDonald’s. I wrote about this in one of my old blog posts, but essentially they are claiming to be building affordable student housing but are asking for a redemption of 21 stories above the 6 story city code. The man we spoke to was condescending; I don’t think he expected students to come with good questions. At one point, he literally turned away from Deah to talk to someone else when she was in the middle of asking him a question. The starting rent price is going to be about $1,399/mo and they are going to focus on studio and one bedroom apartments. Not to go into it in detail but there are a lot of issues with that plan, as I’m sure you’d agree.

Day 22

Today I did not attend either of my classes. I woke up feeling very depressed. I couldn’t seem to find the strength to get out of bed. I slept in.

I was hoping to use my self-established day-off to catch up on homework, but couldn't seem to find any will or focus in me. I ended up going to get a haircut at 1:30p from my friend Sarah, who works as a stylist at Fox Den Salon. I got layers and a bang-trim. It was really relaxing. She didn’t have anyone scheduled in the time slot directly after my appointment, soo she curled my hair for me, just for fun. She also gave me a discount! It was only $20 and the normal price is $30. 

I dropped Naomi off at work at Punch Pizza and then picked up my friend Madi from her apartment at The Marshall. We made a salmon, veggie and rice dish for dinner. Julian’s mom sent me a blue apron box, which contained the salmon meal. She also brought a bottle of Italian wine that a boy who has a crush on her brought back for her. We couldn’t get it open for most of the evening so we drank my cheap Franzia. 

Here is my haircut!

Day 21

Today Naomi drove her and I to class as we both have the same schedule on Mondays. We both normally take the bus, but she was planning to go to her parent’s house in Maple Grove after class so she drove. We arrived on campus early so we could print out our monograms for typography. I wasn’t feeling very good about the layout of my poster, but Bill had us do small group critiques with him and the group I was in happened to go last. Thus, I got to work on mine during the majority of class and recreate it a bit before getting feedback. I still have a lot of work to do, though. 

After typography I had web design. I struggle a lot with web design as I’m dyslexic and I often miss letters or numbers in the code and it takes me a lot of effort to find where I went wrong. Sometimes, just in the directions I miss entire words and completely misunderstand the instruction. It takes me a lot of patience to get through the exercises each week. I started to feel really anxious during this class to the point where I needed to step out and take a walk. I saw my friend Morgan in the hallway and chatted with her for a few moments before returning to class feeling a little better. 

Naomi ended up driving us home and her mom came to our house to see her, which worked out nicely for me as I didn’t have to bus home. I ate some of my leftover pasta for dinner and worked on homework with Naomi until her mom came to get her. I avoided my remaining homework and watched a few episodes of The Good Place, and then had a panic attack and called Julian. He made me feel a lot better but I’m still feeling really unmotivated and down. I think I should go to bed.

Day 20

Today I woke up a taaaad hungover. I drove Julian, Emily and her friend, Kendra, to McDonalds to make us feel better. It worked for me, but unfortunately Leah D didn’t even make it in the car before she ran back inside to throw up, and immediately fell back asleep. 

On our way back, we stopped at our friend Madi’s apartment in The Marshall for an hour or so before we had to succumb to the exhaustion and go home to nap. Julian and I laid on the couch together for a little while before he had to go. He drove back to Iowa today. I won’t see him again until October 16. This is our third year of long distance so I’m mostly used to it and good at it, but it still sucks. It’s hard to not have him close when something is wrong and the only person I want to be with is in a different state. This is finally is senior year, so it feels good to know that it’s almost over. 

I said goodbye to him and went to take a much needed nap. When I awoke, I went to my apx meeting where we made tie blankets for children in hospitals. It was a short meeting as the president was away at a conference.

Day 19

Today my roommates and I had a housewarming party! I told myself I was going to spend the day doing homework beforehand so I wouldn’t have to do it all tomorrow, but I heard that there was an event called the “Como Cookout” in the park right down the block from my house. I invited my parents to come with me, and my roommate/life-long friend Emily joined us. It was really cute! I honestly wasn’t expecting it to be as nice as it was, since it was completely free. I donated a few bucks, but I don’t really know how they could afford all the food for everyone that wanted to come. There was also live music, games, arts & crafts and a bunch of community booths giving information. I learned that it’s free of charge to get a compost bin for our house and the cost of pickup will be the same. I also learned that there are plans to turn the Dinkytown McDonalds into a 25 story luxury apartment building, which is ridiculous as city code is a max of 6 stories. I am planning on going to the meeting on Wednesday to tell the developers to stop this project. We don’t need another overpriced apartment building with 1,000 residents and only 300 parking spots. 

After the Como Cookout, all three of my roommates and I spent hours going to thrift shops and other stores to get decor for our house. I’ve really been craving roomie bonding time, so it was really nice to have a family outing together.

I cooked dinner for my roommates while they set up for the party. Julian’s mom sent me two free Blue Apron meals that were 4 servings each, so I thought I’d make enough to share. The first people to arrive were my sister Aria and her good friend (who is also my roommate, Emily’s, brother) Charlie. I wasn’t expecting them to stay long as they're neither very much into parties, however they stayed late into the night and even made some friends! The party was really packed, many more people came than I was anticipating. I caught two random 16 year olds sneaking in and had to kick them out. I also had to intervene when I overheard a girl I know from class convincing a guy I’d never met before to chase his vodka shot with beer. It was a tad overwhelming and I definitely don’t think I'll be having a party that big at my house any time soon but it was a good time, I suppose.

Here is a photo of my roommates (ltr: Emily, Leah D, Naomi) and I before the party started! And yes, we did plan to all wear black. 

Day 18 (pt 2)

Today I woke up at my parent’s house in Bloomington to shorten my commute to work in Eden Prairie. Here is a picture of Walter and I cuddling as I drank my morning coffee: 

He is SO small. It’s ridiculous. Everyone who has ever met him has said “oh my god, he's so much smaller than I thought from the photos.” He’s absolutely miniscule. Microscopic. 

He has also started doing this HEARTBREAKING thing where he HUGS me when I go to leave. Or at least that’s how I’ve been interpreting this phenomena. Essentially what happens is that I will put my shoes on and he will jump and yip at my feet until I pick him up. Then, he will snuggle his head into my neck while I hold him. He has done this for upward of ten minutes straight while other people have food, while he was immediately prior being a hyper monster-devil, and will just stay nestled into me until I hand him off to my mom. We’ve never seen him do this until I moved out. It’s very sweet and precious, but then once I do finally hand him to my mother, he cries and fights to get out of her arms and back to me. My mom has also informed me that he occasionally goes into my old room and whimpers for me. Absolutely devastating, it is. 

This all gets me thinking about my dog before the ‘rents got Walter. His name was Mario Luigi and he just died in May at the ripe age of 15. We got him when I was only five years old and he slept in my bed with me as soon as he was kennel-trained. We shared a twin bed for much of my life, during which I went from being the size of a five year old, to fully grown. Which means that the way in which I sleep even to this day was formed around Mario. He was a bed hog, he’d sleep right in the middle of the mattress and then kick his legs out and push me nearly off the bed. I didn’t ever mind, though. My mom would always try to move him so I’d have more room but I'd yell at her until she gave up as I never wanted to disturb him. Thus, as I literally grew into my adult body, I didn’t know any different and have always been able to fall asleep in any position, no matter how uncomfortable it may seem to others. I just wanted my baby to be comfortable. 

Here are some photos of Mario and I in our youth.

This is Mario and I a few hours before he passed. May 08, 2019.

This is Julian making me smile after a night of crying about Mario. I had my cousins wedding shower the next day and my eyes were terribly puffy. 

This is a low-quality photo of the “m” tattoo I got for Mario above my left elbow. It’s not an easy spot to photograph of yourself, as it turns out. 

I’ve had some conflicting feelings about having a new dog in our home, occupying Mario’s spaces, so soon after he died. It felt at first that my parents were trying to replace him, but I really do love Walter a lot. I can see how loving Walter doesn’t take away my love for and pain of losing Mario. He will forever and always be my baby, the one I grew up with. I don’t know if you’ve ever had a dog but they really are part of the family, I swear. We had a special bond. He was so intuitive and in sync with me. It was devastating--still is--to lose him. I realized the first night after he died that I’d not often, since I was five years old, slept in a bed without another living being occupying it with me. I can’t sleep if its too silent, Mario’s snores being absent kept me wide awake all night. The bed feels too big without him. I always joked that he got 90% of the bed and I got 10% of it, despite him being only 10% of my size.

I guess you could say I consumed grief today.

Day 18 (brief update)

Nanny family has La Croix-- a rare occurrence! I’ve been drinking cheaper brands of sparkling water so today is a very special day. #blessed

Day 17

Today was the last day of my school week, which was a relief. However, I didn’t use my time as wisely as I should have. I, like many people, don’t have a strong sense of urgency if my responsibilities aren’t immediate. I got out of class for the day ate 1:00p and didn’t work or have any other engagements. I was planning on going to the library to get a head start on the pile of work I usually spend doing at ungodly hours on Sunday night/Monday morning. I went to the library for two hours and worked on my monogram poster, but not really in a productive way. I played with color and formation of the text. It was essentially exploration which I know is valuable. It just feels frustrating to have a long to do list and spend two hours on one of the items without being able to check it off-- or even really know how much more time will be needed before I can check it off. That’s common, I think, for creative projects. It isn’t as straightforward as writing a paper: you can generally estimate how long it takes you to research and write X number of pages as you get comfortable with your own system. You can look at the physical progression of the paper; when I write three pages of a six page paper I know that I am half-way done. It’s stressful at times to be trying to sanction my time wisely, set aside a large part of my day to work on something, reach the end of the time I have to spend on it for that day, and still have no idea how much more time needs to be put into it. There aren’t linear steps to the creative process. 

I also notice that I end up working well under pressure. It sparks creativity out of necessity, I suppose, because it would be incredibly exhausting to have the intense focus and urgency that I have when it is truly the final hour. Even though it is frustrating that I always--no matter how hard I try to plan and prepare and get a head-start--do 90% of the work in the last 10% of the time I was allotted to do a project, if I was able to give my stress-driven energy to my work every day, I would be burnt out in one week! 

Day 16

Today I woke up at 7:00a and checked my email. In my inbox, I discovered a response to my inquiry about switching Web Design sections from Fancy, who teaches said sections. She agreed to sign my petition to switch, so I went back to bed for another two hours. After waking up, I took the bus to campus with Naomi. We got coffee at the Paul student center on our way to typography. It’s really inexpensive for even a very large cup! I even got a refill. 

I showed up to typography feeling defeated and exhausted. I was unprepared; I hadn’t worked on my monogram at all since Monday and didn’t bring an example of a type crime like Bill had asked us to. However, it turned out to be a very successful class period! Only three people did the type crime assignment so he re-assigned it for Monday. It also ended up being a work day with personal feedback meetings with Bill, not a critique like I was anticipating. I was able to work for an hour and a half and get a really good concept for my monogram in time to meet with him. I had been feeling really discouraged about this project and didn’t think I was going to ‘figure it out’ so it was a really incredible feeling to have my ‘aha’ moment. The typographer I am basing my monogram on is Carol Twombly. I was having a hard time making the letters go together in an interesting, new way, but ended up pulling inspiration from a sculpture by Eduardo Chillada which actually resembles the very initials I was trying to marry. Suddenly, it clicked in my brain, and I was on a roll! I now am playing with the colors I will use; I don’t feel that color schemes are my strong suit so I'm really trying to pick them carefully and thoughtfully. Then I'll design the layout of the poster, which I expect won’t take too long once I've finalized my monogram (which I nearly have). That way, the monogram can inform the poster design. I will attach a screenshot of my current versions of the monogram and an image of Chilada’s sculpture!

Julian also came home tonight. His class ended, so he’s on break until next Monday when his next class will begin. It’s always a hard dynamic when we are in school as not only are we long distance which puts a certain pressure on things, but when he does come home he is done with class for a few days and has essentially no responsibilities. I, on the other hand, won’t get a pause in my work load until winter break, and even then I will be working extra hours. I sometimes feel a pressure to entertain him when he’s here since most of his friends live out of state and the ones that are here are in school, so he doesn’t have much to do when he comes home. Add the fact that I love to see him when I can since our time is so limited together, I will tend to feel like I’m on break, too, when he’s here, and will go to bed too late or not focus on homework as much as I need to. Speaking to that point, he ended up arriving with alcohol, getting too drunk, and throwing up in my sink. Needless to say the night concluded with me being very upset with him. 

Here are my current variations of my Carol Twombly monogram, although I don’t think the colors are doing them any favors now. I will play around with them further and hopefully find a color scheme that works soon. Bill liked it so much when I showed him that he pushed me over!

This is Chillada’s sculpture that my monogram is inspired by. 

Finally, this is my ‘splurchase item for project 3 (ft. my nanny family’s dog, ‘Pickle’ begging for it). It was actually $2.99, but I was drawn to this as Pez are very nostalgic to many, even though they are clearly making new versions as all the ones I saw for sale were marketing the new Lion King. I bought it at Michael’s in Eden Prairie. 

Day 15

Today I consumed stress, I guess. I feel exhausted and unmotivated all of the time. I can’t focus on my classes. I am taking an 8:00a every day and I thought I could handle that but it’s really starting to drain me. I just emailed Fancy asking for her signature and permission to petition to switch sections of Web Design to a later section so I can get more rest. My current schedule only allows me to get about 5 hours of sleep a night so I feel sluggish and defeated constantly. This has made it extraordinarily difficult to do even simple assignments. I can already feel myself getting behind. I hope it works out-- I think starting later just every other day would allow me to feel better mentally and emotionalI consumed Pizza Luce at my DSAB meeting. One slice of veggie, one garlic chicken. We listened to the dean of the college discuss the plans for moving CDES to East Bank. These plans were halted when former president Keller announced his stepping down which complicated taking any action on the plans. It’s up in the air what the new president will prioritize once she is officially inaugurated. We met in disciplinary committees to begin planning the events we’re responsible for. This year the Alumni Association wasn't able to sponsor the board so each committee has $200 less in our budget than we previously had to plan the same events. We ended up teaming up with Product Design to plan our annual panel at Studio 125 so we could combine committee money. 

I am overtired and up later than I hoped to be. I am sitting on the floor outside of my room, sweating, writing my blog post across the way from Naomi’s room. She is in her room writing dumb things on sticky notes while I talk to Julian on the phone and try to write this blog post. It is taking me too long and I need to go to bed.