shame that no one puts bait under a box propped up by a stick anymore. because of woke

ill keep writing about surviving because i don't know what else there is

⚠️ National Alert

hi

i hate when i send someone a meme in another language and they're like "uhm... translate? 😒" fucker i sent you a meme where 90% of the words have an english cognate and/or you don't need to know what they're saying to find it funny. can you at least TRY

Teeth are bullshit. What do you mean you’re decaying. Get a fucking grip. You’re a bone now act like it. You don’t see my finger bones decaying from jerking it too much now do you

current mood: skyrim skeleton being launched down a mountain at 300 mph

while you were studying girls i was kissing the blade

me staring at my calculator app for 45 seconds before i remember i was trying to open my clock app to set an alarm

bella was lucky she didn’t have a cell phone of any kind because you know ya boi edward would be blowing up that phone 24-7 going “saw a snail today…. effervescent” or some shit equivalent

Oh fuuuuck. Oh fuck dude. I just got bit by a fucking clam and tonight's the full moon