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I hate the framing of eating disorders as being a skinny person who thinks they're fat and therefore the problem is they don't recognize their body is actually Good (skinny) and not Bad (fat). The POINT shouldn't be "you're actually skinny but you think you're fat" but rather "you should not obsess over your body or harm it in order to reach impossible standards. your body is fine the way it is." Because like, what does that say about fat people with the same disorders? It literally just telegraphs to them that their bodies ARE actually bad, that it is a problem to be fixed, and so, eh, if you end up Skinny, it's fine.
That is terrible, and you don't actually care about eating disorders, you just care about thin people not thinking they are fat.
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Did anyone elses genetics//childhood trauma fuck them over so bad they feel like they are disorder//illness shopping?
Because goddamn, how can one body have SO much wrong with it.
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being praised for "eating healthy" when you have an eating disorder is a real mind-fuck
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having an ed and not even being skinny is honestly so embarrassing
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Having my dream body would solve a lot but I mean a LOT of the problems I have
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"i fear im faking my disorder" girl you get excited over fasting
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anyone else have a love-hate relationship with skinny people? like you love them because they're skinny, but you kinda don't like them because they're skinny too. is that just me?
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I think I’m relapsing again
:/
When I was out today I was talking to my brother about food and stuff cause he was hungry and I started thinking about the calories and how hard it would be to work them off and how long I would have to starve to balance it out
It’s scary because I haven’t had those thoughts for a while
I started skipping dinner again and with my new job I don’t have time to eat regularly
Deep down in the dark parts of my brain I miss how i was when i was so deep in my ed
I miss my body and I miss the structure and control I had
I only have one friend that knows about my ed
Not even my girlfriend knew
I don’t have anyone pushing me to stay healthy anymore
I don’t have to worry about my girlfriend finding out anymore
I don’t have anything keeping me here
But I also know that my body is fucked and I’ve already felt the pain of recovering with out help
I’ve hurt people and I’ve hurt myself and I don’t want that anymore
Tomorrow I will eat
Tomorrow I will make my self better and restart and make it through my day
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‘no person makes you wanna lose weight more than your mom.’ real. so real.
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209) I really want someone to notice my Ed but at the same time I dont, I feel like by people not noticing I’m less validated but I also don’t want people to try and stop me. I want people to worry about me but not do anything which is obviously not going to happen so I’m not telling anyone, but even a tiny bit of concern would be nice because i feel like no one cares
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kind of uncool how losing weight takes so long but gaining weight happens immediately and without mercy
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