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Hey, get a job!
O.K. I don’t mean to be rude, but I need my couch, thanks.
If you just graduated, you’re Gen Z and being blamed for killing industries that millennials already killed, unemployed or like me underemployed, then you’ve come to the right place-- a little corner of the Internet that’s not LinkedIn and doesn’t take itself seriously.
First, I must tell you about this cool other website to spend half your day on whenever you’re not on Tumblr:
http://www.wtfshouldidowithmylife.com/
You got that? It’s going to help you in your journey from being a recent grad, (Tim Robinson voice) a piece of shit or just a normal human being experiencing the ebbs and flows of life as it unfolds with or without a job already-- ready to throw caution to the wind and begin something new.
As such, I’ve already hit the button 25 times and will now humor you in whether or not you or I could succeed in our new roles.
First up...
Fashion blogger? Are you kidding me? Have you seen my closet? It’s just a bunch of hockey jerseys, which I mean, I guess is cool for a certain demographic but I do not know the rules of fashion beyond what’s in and what’s out among home, road, alternate and throwback jerseys.
I have some experience in a way since I once attended a “take your kid to work day” and got to play the role of an advisor in some sort of The Price is Right/Deal or No Deal mashup that they had us kids play. I told them to take the money and run, limit their risk or whatever. What’d they do? They probably didn’t listen to me. I don’t remember. I hope their business failed (the kid’s, not the company that was nice enough to have us skip school for the day).
I am not Eminem. Nor am I Post Malone. I’m sorry.
Is this what they mean when they say “Meta is hiring”? Does this mean Mark Zuckerberg needs a friend in the Metaverse? Am I going to be paid to be his friend?
Sounds expensive and like more school would be required.
Seems unrealistic. Don’t even get me started.
Also sounds expensive, but if we could ultimately be half as good as A24 then we’re onto something. In that case, we might try our hands out at being a distributor first and go from there. Oh it’s just for commercials? Commercials are cinema too!
Insert “bisexual barista meme” here. A little too on the nose don’t you think?
And for my next trick, I’ll move to Maine! That doesn’t sound so bad, actually.
I have no idea what this is, yet I’m intrigued as someone who likes a good road trip minus a cracked windshield and all the other things that could go wrong. Have you seen how people drive on highways these days?
Jamie Tartt do do do do do doo
Sounds like a lot of liabilities and paperwork involved.
Would be great until I inevitably write about Coldplay too many times for everyone’s liking. If anyone knows Chris Martin, though, please let him know I’d like to be friends.
I discovered a beekeeper on a Live TikTok one time while scrolling through my “For You” page and sat there for the next 30 minutes just watching him go about his job. I would 100% be down for this. Also I’ve never been stung by a bee, so I’d have no fear going into it.
I have actually done this before and you should hire me for it (for real).
I play guitar, so... ...I’m looking for a drummer myself.
That’d mean I’d have to acquire a bike first, which if we’re looking to keep this at a minimum upfront cost, well, I have some news for you. It’s not happening.
This would be a lot of fun, but again the whole cost of moving, you know...
Don’t think that I haven’t already thought about doing this. Life could be so much simpler. You’d also live in a desert, but simpler nonetheless. Plus Salvation Mountain is right around the corner and normally I rag on folk art, but this is the one folk art I am willing to accept (not, like, as a religious thing-- just from an art perspective).
Seems like you’d have a hard time getting any Federal job after this, though.
I already am. I perform concerts daily in the shower. Tickets are hard to come by however.
I would absolutely do this for the free food and shit, but I need some lines so I’ll get paid and residuals.
I could maybe do this. Would request one log cabin with great Internet access to make it work.
Watch me turn $0 into $0!
When in doubt, you can always just go home and do less of the things you’d really like to do for fun because your parents are around, but on the rare occasion that they’re away for the weekend you can call all your friends who, by now, have moved far, far away and get them together for one last party if any of them show up. On the plus side, you’d have access to all your favorite streaming platforms or whatever and you probably wouldn’t have to pay for your Internet access to keep reading Tumblr (though you could always just steal Dunkin’s WiFi for that).
Remember, nothing matters. Everything is made up. Eat Arby’s. Eventually someone will hire you and you’ll prove people wrong, which is always a great feeling (not that anyone was doubting you). Now hand me the remote, please.
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What to expect now that I’m going to be more active on Tumblr
Some hockey stuff.
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A fun anecdote from college
One time in class we were given the choice of a rock or a feather and told to stand on the corresponding side of the room for either word. I chose rock and when asked to explain why, I introduced my explanation as such...
"Stay with me a moment on this one, or rather, come with me on this one. I chose rock because as is quite certain, everything is made of dust, we are all made of stardust and this dust is what makes up the rock of the Earth, so essentially we are rock. But I also chose rock because I extended the metaphor in my head and picked the word 'rock' over the other word 'feather', since words are arbitrary, ambiguous and abstract. When presented with the choice of 'rock' and 'feather' one could think of rock as a rock and a feather as a feather, or one could think of rock as rock- the music genre. I like rock. Rock is good. Since both 'rock' and 'feather' could be anything, I chose 'rock'."
My professor then stared at me and said, "whoa someone went deep with that one." Someone else then whispered to me-- loud enough for everyone else in the class to hear-- "that sounded like one of those 'high thoughts' quotes."
Everyone laughed.
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Refreshing
I’m stalling from writing about hockey, applying to jobs and the like. Why? Because one of my favorite bands started teasing a return from a hiatus, which has me thinking about what it means to refresh, reset or restart.
Anyway, I’m sure I could go on a long philosophical rant, but I’ll try to keep it simple.
Remember that time I almost moved? What kind of restart would that have been like?
What if I transferred schools sophomore year? Junior year? Did I really think I didn’t like it there once-- long ago-- or was that someone else planting the thought in my head?
What happened to all those other people that left and went elsewhere? Did they refresh? Rejoin? Re-find themselves?
Have I restarted countless times and not realized it?
How many times did I hit reset?
I know I’ve been reset. I reset it a thousand times.
At least, that’s what I thought in high school-- since high school.
Anxiety maybe? Depression? Something? Who knows-- I don’t bother. Just reset.
Get up. Repeat. Reset. Refresh.
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Good evening, good morning or whatever
It’s been a little while Tumblr and, while I still don’t see the point in all of this, I’ll offer a little anecdote that usually comes to my mind every year around this time.
2011 was a great summer.
I was legitimately happy. The B’s had won the Cup and Coldplay was performing at Glastonbury, as they’ve done numerous times and have always said is their favorite venue.
I’m sure I’ll get around there someday.
Anyway, I learned they would be performing at Glastonbury because of the Internet shortly after stumbling upon their latest single at the time (”Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall”) on the radio.
They’ve always been one of my favorite bands because I could get lost in Jonny Buckland’s guitar any day, all day. Little delay, something ringing out, whatever he does it perfect and I immediately want to learn it, fully realizing I’ll never be as good as his mastery of the six-strings-- but at least I can try, learn a riff and play it over and over to my hearts content, never letting the music stop.
I learned their Glastonbury performance would be on a channel called Palladia (now MTV Live), so I tuned in.
Actually, I missed most of it the first time, but I caught the re-air as soon as it was re-aired.
Regardless, when I tuned in the first time was perfect timing. They were wrapping up whatever song and began playing something I had never heard before. It’s now my favorite Coldplay song-- “Charlie Brown”.
It’s a dynamic sound that got me hooked immediately and I soon learned that the band’s fifth studio album, Mylo Xyloto, would be out that October.
I spent the entire rest of the summer searching YouTube for a) the song name and b) if anyone had illegally streamed and uploaded the program or at least that song that I was determined to learn more about on the Internet.
By August I found it and I listened to it nonstop-- to the point where I would be home alone, rush to the computer and blast it over the speakers until someone would get home and I’d have to turn it down.
In the meantime, I danced around the house to my few moments of escapism and let my mind wander about all the possibilities where I would hear that song in my head while out and about or whatever.
I never did much in my summers mostly because I was either an afterthought or an outsider. It didn’t matter-- still doesn’t.
The music video is fucking amazing and further lets my dreams fly, while I sit around seven years later, wondering where Life will take me next and if it will ever let me have a turn sometime-- as an artist, a writer or whatever, full-time.
Anyway, it’s my favorite Coldplay song and that’s that. Goodnight, good morning or whatever.
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Sometimes I lie awake at night
We all do it.
And by “[w]e all do it” I mean we all lie awake at night pondering life’s existential moments.
I think I do it more often than others, but I’ve never asked my friends.
Anyway, lying awake at night is kind of my forte. Some nights I’m listening to music, looking for guidance in lyrics and rhythm. Other nights I’m left with the sound of my own thoughts-- my heartbeat.
One thing that’s always perplexed me is why I’m sometimes more awake right before I sleep (and/or in dreams) than I am hours before climbing into bed.
I’ll try to keep this short and simple, but I’ve been meaning to jot down some things to let out some creativity. Until then, I’m left with thoughts-- broken down and off the rails of my mind.
So goodnight, I guess I’ll go to sleep now.
Well, after I listen to some Bon Iver or something first.
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Max Smart once asked if he was invisible in Get Smart, he’s not the only one
Today I went to the coffeehouse on campus and got a venti chocolate shake like I always do, but instead of leaving after I got it, I went and sat down at one of the tables, figuring I’d avoid doing homework for a half-an-hour or so.
A few people had come in shortly after me, a current student, a prospective student and her mother, ordered whatever they got, then sat down at a table near me. I was able to hear their whole conversation, considering they were a few feet away and we were the only people in the coffeehouse with the exception of the coffeehouse employees and Coldplay’s “Fix You” playing over the speakers, which really doesn’t set a coffeehouse vibe, for the record.
The mother of the prospective student asked all the questions you would expect a parent to ask a current student to learn more about the school, campus life, classes, etc.
They were talking about majors and another student walked into the coffeehouse right as they were talking about business and marketing majors, so he chimed in that he was one and spoke about his experience. He was from Connecticut, which surprised the prospective student’s mother, who confessed she was originally from New Jersey but had now been living in North Carolina for some number of years.
Before he left, she informed everyone at the table that the best thing business and marketing minded people can do is learn the traditional stuff and get involved in the new media and latest things to stay ahead of the curve.
Connecticut kid left and the conversation shifted to job opportunities, internships, the sports scene in Charlotte and whether or not the school got discounted tickets for students to snag and go to Carolina Panthers games and whatnot.
The current student talked about how she was hoping to intern in whatever and was asked what she knew about the sports industry. She talked about sports with a slight disdain in saying that “those internships are kind of, for ‘sports people’ only, like sports minded and stuff.”
To which prospective student mom added, “yeah, like kinesiology department people and whatnot.”
“Yeah they say some people got internships with the Carolina Panthers and some of the other teams, like the [Charlotte] Hornets,” replied the current student. The Charlotte Checkers exist too, you know, but I’ll save that argument for another day (they’re the oldest team in Charlotte, granted they’re a minor league team, but they’ve been here the longest).
Now, I’ll pretend I didn’t hear them talk about sports as though it were like watching someone go through surgery on one of those TV shows that like to make things gross and uncomfortable for the viewer, but I’ll talk about how I sat there, sipping on my shake for a few moments.
There were opportunities for me to chime in when they talked about the cafe food being “typical cafe food”, among other things, like the partying scene (or realistically, lack there of- and that’s cool and all).
But when the conversation delved into sports, I just metaphorically shrugged my shoulders as I sat there and eavesdropped.
You see, I’m a “sports guy”, not in the sense that sports are the only thing I’ve got going for me, despite my lack of everything else normal traditional undergraduate students and adults have going on for them, but in the sense that, yes, I happen to be one of the interns they deflected talking about. I’m also a communication major, so that dispels your “kinesiology department people” only theory, prospective mom (no offense).
I couldn’t help but sit there and feel like they had this tone that whatever it is I’m trying to do is less valuable in life than whatever they were talking about and hoping the prospective student would eventually major in (probably business and marketing, for all I know based on their discussion).
Realistically, what I aim to do in life probably is. I’m only covering the game or making sure the broadcast operations run smoothly so fans can watch the game from anywhere and other Internet bloggers can cover the game from their couches and stuff. Or maybe I’ll be a play-by-play announcer or color commentator.
But still, they’re missing the whole picture somehow. Especially since I was likely the only person in the coffeehouse at the time that is about to graduate, has worked in sports, blogs about hockey (hire me please, hockey media) and gets to every game hours before and leaves hours after all the people in attendance have tailgated all day, had a lot to drink, then safely planned their trips home by virtue of a designated driver or public transportation.
Then again, what do I know? I only sat there, drinking my chocolate shake, looking at Twitter, avoiding writing something for capstone and not making any remarks about my experience that might help make the prospective student feel more apt to joining my school’s community.
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So I might start doing music reviews...
Just like the title implies, I might start using Tumblr more often/every once in a while, as opposed to probably never. To start, I’ll be reviewing albums that some of my favorite musicians love and/or suggest. I’ll also be taking into account what some of my friends recommend, so friends, please let me know what you’d like me to listen to sometime and review. Okay, thanks. Bye for now, Tumblr. Off to go listen to some music.
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Why am I here? (but like, the not so deep thought version)
I just started this to try to understand the Internet and, well, goodbye Internet.
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