I didn't know that Jacob Marley attended Caligo Bay. 

Actually I was talking to that guy in chains behind you. He might be a ghost though, who knows.

I'm trying to memorize a script, I'm sorry. 

No, but your muttering is distracting.

Him? Oh, he's in my Acting class. He's always losing his script and he probably came to borrow mine. I didn't even notice him there-- is that rude?

Not really no. I think it was that annoying looking boy walking out the door right now.

I'm sorry, were you talking to me? 

My parents want to go to Bora Bora but I'm not sure if I'll go or not. Kenny's going to be filming some new thriller and our moms do this weird super passively aggressive thing with each other that I can't deal with alone. Staying here wouldn't be so bad, I don't think. At least I'd be able to keep busy with Glee and everything. Besides, I'm pretty sure it was already pretty shitty of me to take off all that time when I run a couple clubs.

Wow, that sounds nice. I’ve been here the whole time. Do you have anything else planned for the summer?

That sounds pretty cool. Oh, I spent a week in Zurich with my family and a friend. Lake Zurich is incredible to swim in during the summer seasons. 

Pretty good! I’ve been working extra workshops so I’ve been busy. The extra money is worth it and also they’re pretty fun to do. What have you been up to? 

I know you don't, which is why I wasn't offering it, merely congratulating you for getting the help you needed. I suppose your best will have to do. 

I don’t really need or want your approval, but thank you, I suppose. Whatever Lana, I don’t think either of us have the self control for that, especially with how much we have to be around each other. It’s no secret I have a short temper and you somehow manage to piss me off just by standing still and breathing. We’re both competitive, we both can be really petty, and neither of us can overlook an insult- it’s not exactly a stellar mix. We’ve had our moments though, so, I guess as long as you keep your mouth shut, I’ll do my best not to point out your many, glaringly obvious flaws. Besides, as you can imagine I have my own shit that requires more attention than trading insults with you.

Yeah, if you promise not to tell anyone else--they're always stocked in the vending machine at Glendola. 

You mean you got them from— Damn, those cookies are good. They always run out though.

Don’t mention it.

Dandy, as always. I've missed seeing your pretty face around. How've you been?

Hey, Lana. How’re you? 

Omelette du fromage? It's omelette au fromage, if you're going to be grammatically correct. As for sous-estimé, that means underestimated. Why do I--? I don't know why I slip French into conversation, it kind of just happens, but I'll be sure to refrain for your convenience. It's...nice to meet you, Dawson. Tuxedo originated in New York, sorry to burst your bubble. 

You should always ask questions Lana, otherwise how will you learn? Speaking of, what the frick does sous-estimé mean? Is that French? Why are you slipping French into everyday conversation? What about me makes you think I’d know French? Or did you know I wouldn’t know and wanted me to ask? I’m questioning your entire motive here, Lana Rhodes. I know absolutely no French. Wait! Oui. Bagette. Omlette du fromage. Uh, crap… beret. There. That’s all my French knowledge, so almost absolutely no French knowledge. I’m Gabe. Gabe Dawson. I just tacked on the Dawson since I know your last name and figured it would only be fair, I wasn’t trying to sound like James Bond, although for the record I’d probably look great in a tux. Wait! Tuxedo! Is that even French? Fuck languages. And pardon mine, I shouldn’t swear.

You're getting help now? Oh, good. Snark aside, it'd be a shame to see the little bit of talent you do have go to waste if you ended up nearly drinking yourself to death again. Besides, I'd have no one to compete with on stage. It you'd hold your breath for a minute, I'd let you know I didn't really come to start anything. I came for a truce of sorts, I suppose. This is the year I plan on having Broadway pick me up, and I know I'd put a lot more into my roles if I didn't have to worry about wasting oxygen on these ridiculous back-and-forths. If I'm going to be honest, the competition you present strives me to kick your ass in everything I do, and I know you hate the air I breathe, so I'm not suggesting you and I join sides, I'm only offering a cease-fire for this term. No petty remarks and no pokes at your many flaws. Starting now?

Oh no, you’ve pointed out the drinking problem that everyone knows about, and that I’m getting help for. I might just cry. Jesus Christ, Lana, as much as I just love this little back and forth we have, if you can’t come up with something new to say, I’m going to start falling asleep mid-snark. Would you like to talk about how many guys I’ve slept with next? Or maybe how you think you’re more talented than me? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah- please go do whatever it is screechy crybabies do when they’re not grating on my nerves.

Well, I did miss the cookies. They only have these in one vending machine here, cut me some slack.

Thanks for the tip, though. 

I can’t really say the same thing about those cookies your eating.

You’re looking like a squirrel. You might wanna wipe off some of those crumbs off your mouth.

Hey, stranger. 

Smoking is a horrid habit, but here you go. 

Crap, my lighter’s out of gas. Does anyone happen to have a spare lighter?

Are you always prone to asking a million questions when you meet someone or is it just me? I'm not a celebrity, no. That's much too sous-estimé for me. I'm probably more Jakob Dylan, technically, but I don't need my mother's fame to boost my talent, thank you. You know me-- who are you, then?

What’s wrong with this place? This place is great. Why so grumpy, Grumpy? … Are you Lana Rhodes? Did I just call a celebrity grumpy? Wait, are you even considered a celebrity or just like, a celebrity’s kid? Are you Ziggy Marley or Jakob Dylan? Will I be able to tell me kids about this someday or not? I demand answers.