24th april 2024

its been so long since ive written anything directly related to my life. to be frank, theres been so much i got overwhelmed. to start, i stole my ex friends crush. welp. she got mad at me for talking to this guy she liked, which me and my friends thought was ridiculous because i had been friends with him for many months BEFORE her. a month after we stopped being friends, he asked me out, and since i was no longer friends with her, i owed er nothing. so, i got with him. kind of bitchy ill admit. anyways, i also gave him a hj, and i got spotting afterwards, which made me scared, so i had to buy a shitty equate pregnancy test for 10 bucks. obviously, it was negative, and i ended getting up my period anyway. after this, nothing interesting happened. until my boyfriend informed me that there was arumour i had touched myelf to a picture of his friend. he unfollowed me, and THAT was the reason. he didnt talk to me for like a week and a half lmao. in fact, yesterday and today, he sadly spoke to me. yes btw its kyle. then, my parents almost separated, which was.. great. he got violent after drinking, broke our sink and tried to hit my mom. we had to call the police, and my whole neighborhood had to make sure to either give me their backtory or pull up to my house unannouced. it was them, or my teachers. i hated it, truly. i know my parents are going to get back together.since it happened, he asnt drank and called to apologized. in fact, today he called me twice. tomorrow, i actually need to spend time with him at macdonalds with my brother. im scared. also, im paranoid again because of kilee and her annoying ugly fatty friends. sorry. but god they piss me off. they keep staring at meeee. anyways, she got rejected again by another guy. she ALSO got asked out but rejected him which is so stupid to me. at LEAST guve the poor guy a chance. tomorrow i have a math test and an annoying science activity to complete. ew. well, i think thats all of it. ty bye ☆*: .｡ᓚᘏᗢ

period ended

period 17 april

life...

2014 tumblr

i think the 2014 tumblr is the most depressing ever. idk why. i was back on tumblr after basically months of inactivity and i was curious and looked it up. it makes me uneasy and idk why. if i was a teen in 2014, id be those basic pink girls. no one cares but wtv

The dolliest doll to ever doll ཻུ۪۪♡

I have sore breasts, discharge, and weird phantom cramps but NO FUCK8NG PERIOD

negative not pregnant

went to my bf's house and boy. he was teaching me how to box, and after i got annoyed with it, we went to his room, and we chatted for 30 minutes. then he opened his computer. he sat in his gaming chair, and I stood next to him. then he asked when I was gonna sit down. I reminded him there was no chair and awkwardly asked him if I could sit on him. he said yes, and from there. it began. i turned around at one point as i was playing with his hair, and i just.. kissed him. he didn't have ANY experience, so i think i went a bit rough. but for me, pecks just weren't enough. i wanted more. (and trust I got it) i told him I wanted to make out but didn't know how. i kept going back for more kisses. but i needed something else. we watched a tut on how to make out and i was like, "Let's go on the bed and i straddled him, and we kissed, and then we frl made out for like an hour. i also gave him a hickey, took off his shirt, and I played with the band of his boxers and he got on top of me and he also pinned me to the wall and we made out again. he would say something as we made out, and I would just tell him to shut up while i went back for more. towards the end, we just gave up on being civilized. while I was on top. I'd stop kissing to tell him how badly I wanted to fuck him. he reminded me he didn't have condoms, and he promised me that next time, not only would he NOT wear jeans, he'd buy a box of condoms. he knows how badly I want to suck his dick. as we were making out, id feel him touch my ass quite aggressively. sometimes we'd stop and I'd force his face in my boobs, or I'd go back and worsen his hickey. it was amazing. we also used tongue, and FUCK was I wet. when i took off his shirt, i think it was the best view ever. he was starting to have those horny eyes, and I knew he had been hard for at least 30 minutes. i got him the hardest he had ever been. fuck. we've been texting just to talk about it. by the end, my lips were red and swollen.

my crush got a horrendous haircut, some black guy said I was cute too, and I passed all my important classes 🥰🥰

omg I hate everyone I hope everyone dies

tomorrow, I have a math exam. even though I FEEL ready, idk if that's a good sigh. I'm very stressed, it's the final weeks. our finals got delayed by about 3 months, so yeah, im not very ready. i feel stressed, and I don't have the energy to study. idk wjat to do. this week, I had a French project, a science exam, and a history exam. i HATE it. it's too much at tnr same time, I feel very overwhelmed. i studied for the history one, but idk. it doesn't matter if I study for 8h or 8minutes, ill still feel like I'm going to fail. tmr, I'm gonna ask about my science grade. let's hope he gives it to me or smth.. im so stressed and scared about failing. anyways, about michy. he's shy and skips class, so I rarely see him. last class, he pushed me in the halls. not in the mean way, just trying to be playful, I guess? tomorrow we have p.e together. God, he's so hot from afar. Anyway, im gonna go listen to some ruqyah for exam success. im so scared, guys. I feel really stupid lately, idk.. i think I'm gonna get a glow up soon. I van physically feel it in my BOOOONES. 🥰🥰 also... horrendous news. im not proud of it, but they added me back. i tried to leave, but what can u do?? i just left again, but they'll probably add me again. I spoke to my cousins, it was fun. idk. im super stressed lately. It's horrendous. idk what to do about it, and finals sure aren't helping. btw, i still dont like kyle anymore. apparently hes tryijg to fuck around woth a 7th grader 😟.. Anyway, goodnight, guys. maybe I'll come back and tell you about gym class, maybe I won't 😏 ...

it's been a while. man, i was wondering when I'd stop posting on here. it started feeling like a chore instead of being stress-free. anyway, im back at school, my mom half knows abt my ex, cuz yes i told her and i broke up with him. yes, he's still texting me through someone, yes it's annoying. yes I've blocked him everywhere. now that I think abt it, I should change all my passwords. yes I have a new crush, again. yes, my hair is still blond. yes, I'm anxious abt him finding me or smth. . #paranoidtings 🧏🏻‍♀️ so, I guess I should update yall on the other dude I liked, Kyle. welp, in simple terms, I gave up. too many girls liked him, but he also did something that irked me enough to stop speaking to him. which is sad, but the fact I, the ugly bitch, got this far, is mighty impressive. anyways, he texted me abt this girl I know, and it made me jealous and I decided that that was enough. i haven't entirely stopped liking him, but I have feelings for a new dude. it's not exactly feelings, but DAAAAYUM he's fine. let's call him Michy. he's just sooo. but I have my doubts that he's a whore too. just like Kyle, I sit next to him in class. last class I had with him made me imagine having his babies tbh. he laughs at everything I do, I'm not even exaggerating. i typed my email wrong and complained that it wouldn't log me in, and he burst out laughing. then he started playing papa pizzeria, and I had told him that I had never played the game. he said I had no life, and laughed when I couldn't slide the pizza all the way. dammmnnn yall.. he's tan, curly headed, and lowkey looks asian. whatever, let's get into my ex and why he pisses me off. he won't leave me alone. he keeps texting me. im TRYING to go no contact, but he's LITERALLY not letting me. it's so ..ugh. the more I look back, the more I realize how weird our relationship truly was. for exemple, he always needed to mention my backside. I have a voluptuous ass for a skinny girl, I know. it's been brought up THOUSANDS of times, I GET IT. he had given me this weird nicknames that literally REVOLVED around it. "sexy lady with a level 4 gyatt"... without mentioning how cringe that is, wth?? seriously? ew. when I brought up that I had never showed it to him, he brought up the time I had wore leggings on call. he said that he "couldn't help but look". like what? he's creeping me out generally. honestly if I end up dead somewhere, it'll be his fault. also, he wouldn't let me break up with him. he tried to make me promise I'd wait for him, I said no. this isn't mlp. that's not how relationships even work. i tried to break up multiple times over the span of 2 WEEKS. that's INSANE?? I also was worried he'd do something, so I made him promise he wouldn't, and asked his best friend to watch over him. I think that's pretty good. im not a good girlfriend, at first, I felt bad for him. but after the 5th time trying to break up, you start getting annoyed. ig that's my life now. it sucks. im still friends with my bff. ppl have asked me multiple times to go back to the gc. I've said no or avoided it entirely. i NEVER wanna go back. I HATE that gc and the majority of everyone in it. I haven't spoken in there since 31st December or January 1st, which is cool, since I had been in it since July 😀. it felt so good to ghost everyone. trust me, ghost everyone, you'll be free. this year I'm protecting the FUCK out of my peace. enough of letting ppl walk over me. esp boys. so yeah, that's my resolution ig. im proud of myself for trying in the first place. anyways, tomorrow i have that class with michy. that's if he's even there. he probs won't be, but wtv. if he is, maybe I'll tell you, or maybe I'll disappear AGAIN 😝😝 anyways, that's my life yall. it's been.. special. I've probably left out a lot, but it's so much and this log is big enough

my dad walked in on me in the bathroom. I feel extremely violated. 😕😕

omg I'm the worst.. even if were not technically together, i still shouldn't be talking about other boys. i should have never asked him out 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ he's not letting me break up too. it's been a week. I don't deserve him. i hate it

i knew it ☠️

it was his cousin I fucking knew it