haha ok “friend” where were u when i uploaded a selfie

when ur boyfriend tries calling u babe and dear at the same time and accidentally calls u beer

if a guy is hitting on u and he is clearly the alpha in his group of guys.. go for the third in command and undermine their whole power structure

Nightmares

A quick tip on nightmares. When you wake up from one, flip your pillow over. I forgot where I read this but I’ve been doing it for years and it works like a charm. The bad dream won’t return that night.

she still doesn’t have a name but she’s the cutest😍

This is quite literally how i got away with being high at work for so long

Wait for it…