Another fun thing I do with customers - specifically parents of very small children who don’t know they’re alive yet - is directly imply I think the coffee is for the baby, not the parent. and lemme tell you, like 70% of parents eat that shit up. They immediately go along with the bit and start discussing it with their newborn child, while the baby just stares at us like 😮
so I started a new anxiety medication this past week and so far it’s been going very well except that I have extremely vivid dreams and apparently sleep texting. I seem to have sent this at 3am and i have no memory of it
it's important to me that people know the original "he would not fucking say that" was in response to a tiktok where someone said eric cartman would thank you for asking for his pronouns. Like it just doesn't hit the same without context.
me, dipping my finger into a barrel of wine I KNOW is poisoned so that I can lick it and get more information on what we're dealing with: “it'll be fiiine, ya girl has advantage on saves against poison :)”
me 5 seconds later, having rolled a 9 and a 13 against what was apparently WYVERN POISON: “YA GIRL IS A FUCKING DUMBASS—”