found a new red flag

uses the phrase “social justice warrior”

I am so tired of the dating scene here. 

Maybe I pulled the panic cord Maybe you were happy, I was bored Maybe I wanted you to change Maybe I'm the one to blame

me IRL. 

this looks a lot like the Kudzu that’s taken over some parts of Georgia

Life without people, Helene Schmitz

I can feel you everywhere

dear universe,

I’ve done my best to be Lesley Knope IRL. Where’s my Ben Wyatt FFS?

Love,

H

The first plane of Syrian refugees headed for Canada touched down in the country late Thursday, and Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was on hand to welcome the arrivals. Just a few hundred had landed, but Canada is on track to accept many, many more.

22/24

To the tune of Taylor Swift’s ‘22′

It feels like a perfect night to dress up like adults,

And compare our commutes, uh uh, uh uh. It feels like a perfect time for a short whole foods line,  they have the best broccoli, uh uh, uh uh. Yeah, We're broke, employed, confused, and horny in the best way It's miserable and magical. Oh, yeah Tonight's the night when we work late to meet the deadlines It's fine Uh oh! I just don’t know anymore But I'm feeling 24 Everything will be alright If I improve my credit score

You don't know about me But I guess I’ll tell you more Everything will be alright If we just keep stressin’ like we're 24, ooh-ooh 24, ooh-ooh It’s gonna be one of those calls, Where mom reminds you. to do your laundry uh uh, uh uh 

It was one of those chats,

She kept repeating and repeating 

‘so what about adopting’

Yeah, We're broke, employed, confused, and horny in the best way It's miserable and magical. Oh, yeah Tonight's the night when we commit to our IRA

It's time Uh oh! (hey!) I don't know any more  But I'm feeling 24 Everything will be alright But this date’s a bore.  I don’t know about him, 

and he’s seeming kind of dim 

Everything will be alright (alright) If I stop expecting more at 24, ooh-ooh (oh, oh, oh) 24, ooh-ooh I don’t know anymore 24, ooh-ooh 24, ooh-ooh It feels like one of those nights, We go home early.  It feels like one of those nights, I read a good book.  It feels like one of those nights, I spring for red wine Don’t gimme a hard time

Don’t feed me that line. 

Ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh, ye-e-e-e-eah, hey I don’t know any more (I don't know anymore) But I'm feeling 24 Nothing seems alright and  I'm not sure what I’m looking for.  You don't know about me (you don't know about me) Or about my expertise Stop asking about “africa” You should know more by the time you’re 24, ooh-ooh 24, ooh-ooh 24, ooh-ooh, yeah, yeah 24, ooh-ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah It feels like one of those nights, I download tinder It feels like one of those nights, I settle for ramen It feels like one of those nights, I call my parents, Don’t gimme a hard time 

Don’t feed me that line. 

on watching magic mike xxl with my dad

there is not much to do in my hometown. 

on the last morning of my brief visit home, my mom greets me with a bright “what do you want to do today?” There is a layer of saccharine coating her normally sweet disposition. 

the air between us is heavy; there is nothing to do, so the answer doesn’t matter. There is, underneath our nonchalance, a sense of urgency that the last few hours we have together be of particular import. 

I smile, matching her constructed chipper demeanor, and respond that “I am down for whatever.” 

but for the first time in a while, I realize that it is within my ability to do nothing. The cues that remind me to work, lest an opportunity pass me by, are absent from this space. In their stead are the the mementos of the ten years I spent in this house; stress giving way to nostalgia. 

and so the day passes, we migrate from the backyard to the fireplace to the kitchen, picking at left-overs, telling the stories we’ve already heard and know, reading, and commenting on the activities of our two dogs. 

It is a cocoon of the familiar; the comfort of a presence that is complete and undemanding. We are here and that is enough. 

as the sun goes down, we move indoors.  “Want to watch something?” my dad offers. I curl into the couch, holding the snacks I don’t eat at my apartment, with the dogs that I can’t have in my building at my feet, to watch a poorly constructed sequel on a personal television set -- something I’ve not had for more than five years. The most precious luxury, though, is the sporadic comments that my mom and dad make as the movie progresses. Reflections shared, snacks offered, chargers for phones requested -- most importantly, their laughs without the slightly tinny characteristic that phones seem to impart no matter how the technology progresses. 

After the first movie finishes, we browse the listings for something else. We pile cake and pie leftover from the holiday onto plates and carry them upstairs. I suggest, giving into my id, that we could watch Magic Mike XXL. My father, ever indulgent, shrugs. My mother comments that she’s already seen it but would be willing to watch it again. 

And so the film is turned on -- mocked, per our family tradition -- but generally well-received. Halfway through the film I hear my mom’s breathing deepen and slow. She is asleep (another tradition), but my father and I watch to the end and discuss the inversion of gender roles in the film and how ‘totally bone-able’ Channing Tatum is. We pitch our jokes to one another’s taste, until it eventually devolves into a family code. 

At the film’s end, my parents head to bed. I follow them down to their room to say goodnight. Before heading to my room, I pass the fridge and pull out the kugel my mother had made. The recipe is my dad’s mother’s and was made half in jest and half as a welcoming gesture for my father’s family visiting. My non-jewish, non-culinary mother, whom my grandmother had nothing but disdain for, had made an awesome kugel. I begin to pluck at the leftovers with a small fork, shoving cold egg noodles coated in sugar and cottage cheese into my mouth almost faster than I can chew them. My pace quickens as I run through my timeline for the next day -- leaving tomorrow at 6:15, landing in the city around 9:30, unpacking, cleaning, going for my run, and then settling in to catch up on work. I am desperately detangling the lumps of noodles from one another, as if doing so can extend my time here.

A lump in my throat, partially kugel-induced, partially linked to my reticence to leave, forms and I rest my fork for a second. I remind myself that I don’t eat like this at home and that the rarity of such an indulgence is what makes it so great. I close the fridge, pet the dog that had wandered in and witnessed my frenzy, and return to the room where I had spent my nights wondering how soon I could leave. 

The nothingness together is everything, but only because it’s so infrequent. The silence is only beautiful because of the noise.  

10 Things I Hate About You (1999) dir. Gil Junger

my days are just blending together, punctuated by meals, runs, and frustrations. 

train of thought -=

“when did I send that email to that one annoying guy who never responds? right before I had a ricecake with peanut butter. I’ve eaten a lot since then and I’m hungry and my legs hurt so I should email him again.”

Mondays don’t quite feel like Mondays when you work on Sunday too.

#sagittarius #kindabullshit #butprettyaccurate

Reblog with your sign in the tags

aries: the definition of a fuckboy but they actually have a soul. literally don’t give two shits about the haters and are some of the most loyal friends i’ve ever encountered. have very sudden growth periods. super dedicated to anything they put their mind to. ALSO OH MY GOD SO GOOD WITH THE TONGUE 

taurus: very eccentric, don’t really know how to deal with emotions. get flustered easily but it’s kinda cute. dreamy demeanor. will ignore the hell out of u if u fuck them over. are lowkey terrified of everything but will probs never admit that as they have some weird element of ego tied into that. 

gemini: really chill people when u get to know them but will scare the shit out of u for like six years if u don’t approach them. do not fucking piss them off as they will butcher yo ass with their tongue and hang u up for the rest of the world to see. probably has daddy issues. writers. really physically attractive and everybody is intimidated as fuck by it. dumb as hell in terms of love and will flirt with you incessantly. REALLY FUCKIN GOOD WITH THEIR HANDS LIKE DAMN. 

cancer: big hearts. fuckin adorable little water signs that are likely drowning in a puddle of their own tears. do not know how to fucking flirt to save their lives. their laughs are kooky as hell and i love it. probably smoke weed. u either love ‘em or want to kill them or are in some poorly balanced inbetween.

leo: okay y’all needa settle down a bit. fragile fuckin egos if i’ve ever seen ‘em and react hardcore if u piss them off. pretty over the top with everything. but damn, are some of the most hopelessly romantic motherfuckers i’ve met. will treat you like a fucking god(dess) if u let them. not super good at social cues tbh. good friends to have if u need to be validated. need quality time. 

virgo: y’all are lowkey hoes and give no fucks about it and it’s fucking great omfg. despite that, they maintain an endearing innocence and can be childish af when things don’t go their way but will love u until the end of time. great taste in music. super fucking smart but don’t show it off too often. 

libra: jesus christ okay i love u guys. super understanding and will always try to see all sides of a situation. probably have been through a lot. aren’t afraid to call u on ur shit and are lowkey emotional shawtys that are still trying to find themselves. make really wonderful parents. get crazy excited over little shit and it’s fucking adorable. 

scorpio: don’t fuck with these hoes unless u know urself first. will expose the parts of urself that u didn’t want to see. super gnarly in fights and will love u until the end of time. pretty standoffish and need time alone when emotionally unstable. keep themselves in amazing shape. are the loneliest fucks i know; be kind to them always. are probably in great shape (physically.)

sagittarius: craziest mofos out there. abandon all emotions before going into a situation and can be super impulsive. funny as fuck and always seem to be on another level. push themselves to the limit and usually forget to give themselves a break. ambitious and can get shit done when they need to. 

capricorn: talk about a ride or die. y’all are loyal to the grave and are incredible friends. until u get fucked over. will probably make ur enemies’ life a living hell, sometimes over-the-top about it. can be v athletic. good writers/artists. really interested in spirituality and the ethereal realms. u guys know what to do in bed and flirt hard af. also so fucking funny oh my god. 

aquarius: amazing friends. probably hate u. easily excitable. space cadets 4 life. rly good with animals and love food but probably restrict their eating habits in one way or another. a paradox in that they are fucking driven as hell to get shit done but give zero fucks at the same time. lowkey kinky af. want to kiss everyone. 

pisces: emotional shawtys through and through. physically attractive as hell. not good at romantic relationships. won’t forget about u for a million years. keep their friends close but will push u the fuck away if they get scared. insecure and just want u to stick around.

Here’s today’s Daily GIF!

Watch: If an angry bear was treated like rape, this is how absurd it would sound.

for @nu-piedsdanslegivre